Ailinea
September 26th, 2004, 04:02 PM
A few months ago, my fiance was laid off from his job. During the past two months, we've been living off of my wages (retail, so it hasn't been much) and the nest egg I'd been saving up in case his job search didn't go so well. Rent and his car payment alone cost more than I make in a month.
The good news is, he did get a new job, has been working there for just over two weeks, and just received his first paycheck in the mail yesterday. The bad news is, the paycheck was NOWHERE near what he expected. He was hoping to be able to pay rent and his car payment from that paycheck. He can only squeeze rent out of it.
In the meantime, he had to let several bills go unpaid, and we have collectors calling us practicaly every 5 minutes. There really isn't much we can do about them right now, as being able to eat, have shelter, and get us both to work is taking priority. But it's getting so hard, and I'm afraid how it can harm our relationship.
Yesterday, when he got his paycheck, he ranted and raved about how he can't survive on that, and how it's far less than he's ever earned, how it's not enough for his skill set (he's working in the IT industry and doing quite well for not finishing college), and how everything's utterly hopeless. Mind you, he *is* being paid $10 per hour more than I am, which made me feel miserable like he was completely ignoring my contribution. I know it's because he was expecting more, and his rant was from the mild shock, but I told him how demeaning it felt to me. I mean, I DO have a college degree from a ranked university, and I'm working *retail*. I've been trying to find a different job for a while now, and haven't had any success. The more he ranted about it, the worse I felt.
I was able to pull out my one ace in the hole...for my birthday, my father gave me $800 towards a new computer, or, he said, "in case we needed it for rent." I hadn't cashed that check yet because I didn't want to think I had more than I did. Well, I'm going to bank it today, and in the meantime I wrote a check to my fiance for $1200 to cover his car payment (again), utilities (which I'd be paying for anyway), to start paying off the debts so the collectors stop calling us, and to begin giving him a little something to put in the bank for his needs too. I want us to get back on our feet.
I handed the check to him, and then had to go to my bedroom so he wouldn't see me cry. It wasn't just a matter of me "needing a new computer, but having to give away my birthday money," it was just all of the stress of our finances. He's usually very good at staying on top of money issues, but it's like the stress has just made everything go to hell.
I think we can pull out of this if I can maintain a cool head and keep us both focused. But in the meantime, I really want to cry because I feel so drained.
So, after this long ramble...any energy would be greatly appreciated, both for him and for me. Thank you in advance.
The good news is, he did get a new job, has been working there for just over two weeks, and just received his first paycheck in the mail yesterday. The bad news is, the paycheck was NOWHERE near what he expected. He was hoping to be able to pay rent and his car payment from that paycheck. He can only squeeze rent out of it.
In the meantime, he had to let several bills go unpaid, and we have collectors calling us practicaly every 5 minutes. There really isn't much we can do about them right now, as being able to eat, have shelter, and get us both to work is taking priority. But it's getting so hard, and I'm afraid how it can harm our relationship.
Yesterday, when he got his paycheck, he ranted and raved about how he can't survive on that, and how it's far less than he's ever earned, how it's not enough for his skill set (he's working in the IT industry and doing quite well for not finishing college), and how everything's utterly hopeless. Mind you, he *is* being paid $10 per hour more than I am, which made me feel miserable like he was completely ignoring my contribution. I know it's because he was expecting more, and his rant was from the mild shock, but I told him how demeaning it felt to me. I mean, I DO have a college degree from a ranked university, and I'm working *retail*. I've been trying to find a different job for a while now, and haven't had any success. The more he ranted about it, the worse I felt.
I was able to pull out my one ace in the hole...for my birthday, my father gave me $800 towards a new computer, or, he said, "in case we needed it for rent." I hadn't cashed that check yet because I didn't want to think I had more than I did. Well, I'm going to bank it today, and in the meantime I wrote a check to my fiance for $1200 to cover his car payment (again), utilities (which I'd be paying for anyway), to start paying off the debts so the collectors stop calling us, and to begin giving him a little something to put in the bank for his needs too. I want us to get back on our feet.
I handed the check to him, and then had to go to my bedroom so he wouldn't see me cry. It wasn't just a matter of me "needing a new computer, but having to give away my birthday money," it was just all of the stress of our finances. He's usually very good at staying on top of money issues, but it's like the stress has just made everything go to hell.
I think we can pull out of this if I can maintain a cool head and keep us both focused. But in the meantime, I really want to cry because I feel so drained.
So, after this long ramble...any energy would be greatly appreciated, both for him and for me. Thank you in advance.