SacredWithin
September 30th, 2004, 04:15 PM
Man, I have issues or something. Today, I got in trouble at school because I went after someone whom I've never got along with. Basically, looking at what happend from the outside, it was totally stupid. But if you knew how and why this person and I didn't get along, you could understand why. Basically, this person has been the type to say every nasty thing he could say about anyone, especially when it comes to culture and religion. Never does he say anything to people's faces, but as a side comment, but loud enough for anyone to hear. I've always disliked wimpy people like this that have nothing nice to say about anything.
I understand that it is because this person may have their own issues to deal with, and they may not know how to get help. So they seek attention. I also have known him to be quick to correct everyone else, but when he gets corrected, he's got a lot to say. So I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine. He made a mistake and said something wrong and I corrected him, but with a sneering attitude. The next thing I know, he tells me, "shut you you dumb ass bitch". Since I know that at times, I'm terrible with my words, I went after him when he proceeeded to walk away. He's always said mean things to people and I figured he might understand things the violent way. So I was evil. Yes, it is both of our faults and I should have reacted much better than I had today. I was lucky to be off the hook.
I have posted today because I need some energy to calm down and learn to put my anger to good use. I mean, even after all this, I still feel I haven't done a good enough job and I don't want to harm anymore. I've done nothing but cry all day and it's been years since I've ever gone after someone. It's as if I hadn't learned anything from all the other times I've been in trouble. Normally, I don't fight for no reason, but rather, if I do engage in any sort of conflict, it is usually so someone can learn something from it all, whether it be me or the other party.
As far as I'm concerned, he is trying to put it all past him. Quite frankly, I was amazed b/c he seems like the type to get back at people (he seems to talk so much about beating people up). Personally, I think this happend b/c a lot of the times, I have trouble standing up to someone personally when they make racial remarks (indirectly) and/or make anti-religious remarks. To me, he is a test so that I may better myself and put my own personal values to the test.
Thanks for *listening*. :)
I understand that it is because this person may have their own issues to deal with, and they may not know how to get help. So they seek attention. I also have known him to be quick to correct everyone else, but when he gets corrected, he's got a lot to say. So I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine. He made a mistake and said something wrong and I corrected him, but with a sneering attitude. The next thing I know, he tells me, "shut you you dumb ass bitch". Since I know that at times, I'm terrible with my words, I went after him when he proceeeded to walk away. He's always said mean things to people and I figured he might understand things the violent way. So I was evil. Yes, it is both of our faults and I should have reacted much better than I had today. I was lucky to be off the hook.
I have posted today because I need some energy to calm down and learn to put my anger to good use. I mean, even after all this, I still feel I haven't done a good enough job and I don't want to harm anymore. I've done nothing but cry all day and it's been years since I've ever gone after someone. It's as if I hadn't learned anything from all the other times I've been in trouble. Normally, I don't fight for no reason, but rather, if I do engage in any sort of conflict, it is usually so someone can learn something from it all, whether it be me or the other party.
As far as I'm concerned, he is trying to put it all past him. Quite frankly, I was amazed b/c he seems like the type to get back at people (he seems to talk so much about beating people up). Personally, I think this happend b/c a lot of the times, I have trouble standing up to someone personally when they make racial remarks (indirectly) and/or make anti-religious remarks. To me, he is a test so that I may better myself and put my own personal values to the test.
Thanks for *listening*. :)