People in Stores

[Ziana]

so...my daughter and I had stopped at the local dollar store to get some paper towels. We are standing in the checkout line when she see's these pens that have bubbles in them and the tops are stamps. She immediatly asks me if she can buy one. I said no. Not because we don't have the money, but because she will never use it beyond a couple of days. Then she will promptly lose it, or end up leaving the top off and letting it dry up and get dusty from living under her bed. The lady in front of us finishes paying for her items and turns around and hands my daughter a dollar and tells her "buy yourself the pen hon" and walks out!
now I know she probably thought she was doing a nice thing, but since I never said anything to my child beyond the word no, she didn't know why I was telling her no. Maybe she had been especially horrible in school and didn't deserve a new pen. Or maybe she wasn't responsible enough to have a stamp. neither of these things are true in this case, but you never really know. The point is I am her mother and I said no. Why do people do that?

[misschief]

i don't know, but i tend to tell people how it is when they do things like that. it makes me mad too, if they are worried that you don't have the money they should ask if that's the case instead of just giving it to the kids.

[RogueSpirit]

A couple of months ago, while at Wal-Mart, I took my daughter out of the shopping cart because she kept crushing the chips I was buying after I had told her three times not to or I would make her walk. We just happened to be in the toy department when this happened. She hadn't asked for a toy and even if she had, me telling her no about such things has never resulted in her throwing a tantrum. It was also late in the afternoon and she hadn't had a nap so she was tired and cross. This child weighs something like 52 pounds and is too heavy for me to carry and getting too heavy to lift and I have pretty bad joint problems. Here she is crying loudly and hanging on me so that I'm nearly falling over. I kept pushing her away because of that, and she kept coming at me and wouldn't listen when I explained that she was hurting me. So I'm nearly sitting on the floor in the toy department trying to get her to calm down and walk without hanging on me when the person working in that department comes over and sticks her nose in without having a clue as to what was going on. I believe she said something about me getting her a toy when I had the money for it but today mommy didn't have the money... excuse me? I glared at her and she eventually walked off. I don't know why people do that, but I think busy bodies really need to learn to mind their own business.

[halfwaynowhere]

Well, I remember when I was around 4, I was at some store with my mom, and i found this pink elephant stuffed animal that i really wanted.. well, i used to throw temper tantrums when i didn't get my way, so when my mother said no, i started screaming right there in the store, and the next thing i remember is some guy saying that i would get the elephant. I don't know how he talked my mother into getting it for me, but i still have that elephant!

[vulfsung]

I don't know if people think they are helping or what, but I'll bet ya anything, these are the first people to complain about kids too....

Last week, after a walk to the local mall-it's about 2 miles away-my daughter and I were on our way home with her wagon. Now I like to put her in the wagon because if she wants to ride, she can, if she wants to walk, so be it...I have a very headstrong child, who loves to do physical things, especially pull her wagon, so, here we are, her pulling the wagon with the groceries and stuff I bought and this woman comes at me out of nowhere-I think she came out of her house-screaming at me that she was going to call the police and report me for child abuse because how dare I force this child to pull that heavy wagon.

I was so stunned, I snapped "screw you, I don't force her to do anything" and tried to take the wagon handle from her, which resulted in my daughter screaming at the top of her three year old lungs "I WANNA DO IT!!!"

The woman turned and walked away, with out a word!

[Antoninus]

My friend Pamela, very nice girl but has very poor judgement shes 19 has has a one year old daughter, doesnt even go into stores anymore.

You think its bad being a parent with a fussy kid in a store? Go in there as a TEENAGER with a fussy kid, if they dont stone you, they treat you like your a RETARD. I went into K-Mart with Pam, I always went with her when she went shopping, tag team shopping, one of us to fend off the idiots the other one to hold her daughter and do the shopping. We were walkin down the asile, just strolling, I cant remember what we were supposed to get, and some woman comes up to me and gets about an INCH away from my freaking face "How could you DO that to that poor girl!?" It was one of those situations where your faced with SO many comments you can possibly make, you just cant choose one so you dont say ANYTHING. I just rolled my eyes and pulled Pamela away, and I swear we had not gotten more than 20 feet away from the first one when some idiot pipes up from an asile beside us "DUDE! Shes got like...a kid! Shes like...dude...19 dude!" ......your quick.

For those of you who are teenagers and dont have kids, try this one day. Get a little brother or sister (Has to be little, if they cant talk, it works alot better) and walk into a store. Any store, and just watch the fun. Want to make it even more fun? Take someone of your approxomate age into the store with you. Want to REALLY make people loose thier minds? Instead of someone approximately your age of the opposite sex, take someone of the SAME sex in there. That'll REALLY turn some heads.

Ahhhh hell, sorry if that came off as kinda insensitve, but hey, its 1 am, sensitivity training wears off after 12:30. And if you can SPELL "sensitivity" without messing up ATLEAST twice after 12:30, then you a damn genius.

[*Rain*]

My Mum used to get it all the time, I walked at 7 months old and from them I never wanted to be in my buggy. She'd always take it just in case I got tired, but if I wasn't in it then she'd put the shopping in it while we walked home. She got so much abuse from people who thought she'd turfed me out so she didn't have to carry it. If she'd have forced me into it i'd have screamed the place down.

Just ignore people like that, they know nothing about your life. They can judge all they like but when it comes to it, you know your child and what's best for him/her.

[Ceres]

i cant decide if i lead a sheltered life or if canadians are too polite to tell off ppl with kids in stores (they just do it behind their backs later lol). rarely have i had anyone help me parent or tell me or my kids off in stores, but i am very sensitive about the looks i get. my son is....er....a difficult kid, and worse, he is a LOUD difficult kid. i get lots of looks.
i also did an expiriment a while ago where i took off my wedding rings to guage ppl's reactions. no one said anything but i could often FEEL disapproval.

[Khuinaset]

For those of you who are teenagers and dont have kids, try this one day. Get a little brother or sister (Has to be little, if they cant talk, it works alot better) and walk into a store. Any store, and just watch the fun. Want to make it even more fun? Take someone of your approxomate age into the store with you. Want to REALLY make people loose thier minds? Instead of someone approximately your age of the opposite sex, take someone of the SAME sex in there. That'll REALLY turn some heads.

I hate that. I have a brother that is...well, now he's either nine or ten, so this doesn't happen too much any more. He still looks a little younger than that. But I just turned 16, and from about 14 on I've always looked/got comments about being able to pass for 3-6 years older than my age. I *hated* going anywhere alone with Logan, in a store or in public, because I got SO many dirty looks and whispers.

[LadyTrinity]

Okay my son dylan is one years old.. if he is sitting in one spot for too long he will get fussy which is understand able..
I tried to teach dylan that he has to sit still like a good boy until mommy and daddy are done eating when we were in Mc Donalds.
So I try to calm him down and my fiancee is taking the forceful approach and telling me that he needs to learn... next thing I know my fiancee goes and spends 4$ on a tiny toy not even the size of my hand and gives it to dylan. I was trying to teach dylan that he needs to listen without being rewarded for doing so and my fiancee made me feel like my parenting wasnt good enough. :eyez:

[Mnemosyne]

I don't think that that the lady should have given your child a dollar after you said "no." It just made you like the bad guy since another adult overruled your decision.

Have I made a decision for a child at a store? Yep. I've seen children run around unattended, throw tantrums for not getting their ways, and climb up shelves in markets as the parent was in la la land. I made the decision that the child needs to follow the same rules that he or she follows at school as in public. lol. What can I say? I'm a teacher. Usually, the child calms down after hearing "rules."

[Ceres]

i am open to the employees enforcing the store rules on my children. sometimes i will warn my kids that i think what they are doing is against the store rules and they might avoid being embarrassed by the workers telling them to stop it if they stop on their own. it doesnt offend me if they are told about store rules but i dont think its the place of other adults to try to enforce rules or of store employees to try and "fix" family disputes.

[Anubis]

YEARS ago I used to work in an Ames store. They made the mistake of putting me in Toys and 4 Seasons. lol.. that toy dept was never the same. i did not allow kids to open the packsges and play with the toys (I had heard too many women tell their kids "I'll be over in Ladies (or where ever) you go PLAY in the toy dept." um.. excuse me.. but this is a store.. you buy things then take them home. Not play with them here and (usually break them) then leave them.
This one kid was in toys and i stopped him from opening a package. He took his hands and cleared every toy off a 10 foot shelf. I made him pick every thing up and put it back where it belonged. His mother came over about half way through and told him to come on she was ready to go. I put my foot down; told her that he made that mess and he was going to clean it up, that I was not being paid to baby sit! She looked at me and stood there waiting for him to get done. A store manager stopped by saw what was going on and walked away. She didn't say a word to him (and it wouldn't have done her any good if she had).
When I worked there it was the first time in 7 years that the toy dept stayed straight and the District Supervisor loved it (a lot less in damages too). I never had a complaint from a parent (which surprised the heck out of me).

[LisaT4P]

You go, Anubis! LOL

Just as a side note: All you fellow parents who the the "looks" in the store, it may not be what you think it is. When I look at a parent that is having a difficult time with a child and I have a "look" on my face, it's usually a look of sympathy and understanding for the parent, not a look of disdain because they can't control the child. I've been there. I have 3! :)

[asamananara]

What a presumptuous twit! You should have handed the dollar
back to her and said "Here, hon. Buy yourself a clue."

[Élistariel]

:rollingla at asmanara, or however you spell your name
You want to have fun, try this one
Here's the story: My family likes to go out to eat. I don't mean just me and my grandparents Gran and Pop(parents didn't raise me). I mean, Gran and Pop, Gran's Parents - Granny Jo and Pa Charlie, one of Gran's sisters Aunt Janet, Janet's twin daughters Shannon and Sheree (one husband was in Germany, one was at work), and the twin's children - each has a son and a daughter. Ages 8 -Linds, Shannon's s daughter ,6 - Maddie, Shere's daughter ,3 Luke, Shannon's son, and 1 Jesse, Sheree's son.
Ya got all that? And may I add not only do we all look alike as it is, but Linds and Maddie could be sisters (well their mothers are twins, but still). Linds looks her age, Maddie is rather small and looks like she's 4 or 5.
Well, it's kind of a "tradition" to go to Wal Mart or K-mart after we eat. Since K-mart was the closest, that's where we went. Maddie rode in our car (she doesn't need the kiddie seat anymore). Anyhow, when we got there, I offered to take the kiddies to the toy department. Jesse stayed with Sheree.
I got a few "looks", but not as many as I would have expected. I did have a bit of fun when Linds and Maddie found a rather interesting swimsuit calendar :lol: I just laughed with them at it, and found some other funny images on the other calendars. Then it was off to the toys, and the Halloween department. I had to leave Linds and Maddie on their own (no more than 2 isles away) when Luke wanted to go to the boy's toys. (he's 3, I'm not leaving him by himself... I kept running back and forth :lol: ) At the costumes, Luke got afraid of the masks, so I told Linds to stay with Maddie and we were just gonna go around the isle. Sorry this is so long. Linds found a thing that changes your voice, and I let them play with that for a bit. She almost pushed it with that voice thing, but as they are not my kids I won't punish them, I will tell their parents. Luckily they are VERY well behaved.
I was quite surprised I didn't get too many looks. One dad with his daughter looked at me funny, then went on. :lol:
I was more surprised by how well behaved my cousins are.
:cutie:

It's 4:30 am, forgive my talkativeness. I have to get up at like 6 or 6:30... stupid insomnia.

[asamananara]

Just reading that made my head spin.
lol... sounds like the kids had fun, though. :)

[faerieridingdragons]

You want to talk about strange looks.Last Friday we kept my 2yo neice and her 7 month old brother.We took them to the grocery store along with our 5 1/2 yo son.You would have thought we were all painted purple the way people were looking at us.You see hubby,me and son are very pale,my neice and nephew are a lovely shade of brown.People just kept looking at the little ones then my hubby and shaking their heads.You'd think in this day and age they'd be a little more open-minded.

[~Macha~]

wow-
Well, this one happened at my Wal-Mart.
A family brought their little boy, about 5-6, to Wal-Mart to go grocery shopping. (My mother works at the school where this little boy goes). This little boy is autistic. If you know anything about autism, these children have a disorder that will cause them to act horiblly for no reason, or from very little provocation. Well, the little boy started screaming and yelling. The parents tried to calm him down, but he just kept screaming. He walked along holding their hands, like a good little boy should, but he was screaming and hollerin and crying like no tommarrow. Well, I don't know what happened, but the father ran off to get something they forgot and the mom was getting something, so the little boy was holding on to the cart. Some STUPID woman goes up to the little boy, Spanks him and tells him to hush and act like a good little boy and proceeds to tell the mother that she needs to teach her child manners. The boy's mom is standing there stunned as anything (I would be to). My hubby, who has 3 nephews who are autistic and is certified in teaching exceptional children, goes up to this woman and proceeds to tell her why the boy was acting the way he was (the autisim) and that she should not assume to know what is going on and should never EVER strike someone else's child. At the point, the mom was ok, got the boy (who was now throwing a full blown tantrum from the shock of being struck and yelled at, I assume) and had the woman escorted out. From the article in the paper (it's a small town) the woman is being tried for assalt and battery, along with child abuse and there was a quote from a judge (not the trying judge) that he wished judges were able to also try people for stupidity.

[Ceres]

all i can say is "holy crap!"
lol

[Autumn]

Wow!

I think I'd loose it if anyone in a store countermanded my "no" to a toy or whatever, I totally don't understand how anyone would dare, in this day and age strike some stranger's child...Had it been me I'd have wound up on assault charges meyself for belting the busybody...sheesh

[ladyalpha]

I didn't see this mentioned and I don't know what you ended up doing with the dollar. But, I would have taken it as a chance to teach your daughter why that was wrong on the woman's part, and how she may have thought that she was helping, but actually didn't come across right. Then I would have had your daughter donate it to a charity. If there wasn't one around at the time, have her save it until one is available for her to give it to.
Then everyone wins from this unfortunate act.

As for the story about the woman spanking the little boy. I don't know how the mom kept her temper. I understand shock from something like that happening out of the blue. But, I think my reaction (and knock on wood this never happens to me) would have been a bit more like a mother bear protecting her cubs.
I can imagine that it was already a very trying moment for the mother and father. And to have something like that happen, would be so horrible.
It is one thing to want to spank a child in a store. Quite another to actually act upon that thought.

And I agree with the comment about the look of sympathy. I also give that look to others. I have been there and still am. lol I also know that sometimes when in the moment of dealing with getting something done and the stress of a child having a tantrum, it can seem like others are judging you. Just keep in mind..we are not the only parents that have had to deal with tantrums or other problems in a store. Our parents, and theirs, survived..we will too. :) And then our kids will have kids and will see what it is like. lol
ladyalpha

[Pandoras]

Oh do I have stories to tell! I have been on all sides of it and I don't even have kids.

My sister lives upstairs with her husband and 3 kids (ages 2, 6, and 8). Naturally, we're very close and I often pitch in. I'm 26 and maybe I look younger or something, but I get all kinds of looks when I go out by myself hauling these three kids behind me. I have no problems with tantrums but the middle child is such an actress and when people see her pout and put on her woe-is-me routine, I get comments, money, candy, toys, etc. I hate it and I'm never really quite sure what to do. I feel like it takes away from my authority and it really sends a bad message to the kids. Sigh.

I used to work at a bookstore. I hate it when parents used me to discipline their kids. You know, "you better not to do that because the nice lady is going to get mad and (fill in the blank)." Then the kid looks at me with either fear or hatred. I hate that. Grrr.

Another thing some parents do at bookstores is ditch their kids in the children's section and go wander the store or leave the store altogether. Once, I found a little boy (no more than 5 or 6) looking about. When I asked him where his mom was, he said he didn't know. When I asked him what his mom's name was (so I could use the store intercom) he said "mom". To top it off, his baby sister (who couldn't even walk yet) was sitting on the floor by him. So I picked her up, took him by the hand, and started wandering the store until I found the mother. She promptly took the baby and angrily asked the boy what he'd been doing. I reminded her to please not leave her children unattended in the store and she told me not to tell her how to raise her children. Grrr.

Another time, we closed the store early due to a hurricane warning (I live in South Florida). There was a kid (about 10) in the store whose parents had left him there while they went shopping at the mall. He didn't know his home number or his parent's cell numbers. Our store manager had to stay behind to wait with this child. Luckily, it wasn't long before the mother showed up.

OMG, this is so long. I'll stop now.

[Haruka2077]

Oh dear. All these stories make me terribly afraid I'm going to have to kill people when I go out with my daughter. I have no patience for busybodies. :fishsmack One of the first "maternity" shirts I bought was actually an oversized t-shirt that reads "If I wanted your opinion, I'd take the duct tape off your mouth!"
I hope my husband will bring Miss Wyn to visit Mommy in jail. :fprisoner

From the article in the paper (it's a small town) the woman is being tried for assalt and battery, along with child abuse and there was a quote from a judge (not the trying judge) that he wished judges were able to also try people for stupidity.

I bet the woman still doesn't understand what she did wrong, either. :nuhuh:

[Élistariel]

One of the first "maternity" shirts I bought was actually an oversized t-shirt that reads "If I wanted your opinion, I'd take the duct tape off your mouth!"

If I ever have kids, I'll have to find that shirt. :rollingla