Samhain & The Witches Dumb Supper

[Pandoras]

I've added a new article to IAmAWitch.com about hosting your own Dumb Supper on Samhain. It's on the home page for now, but it will later be moved to the Witchcraft Basics section.

You can see it at http://www.iamawitch.com

By the way, have any of you ever done this?

[Mau]

I do what my great gramma always did...make a big meal, set the table....and leave the room for the night. In the morning, ya clean it all up lol. Dinner for the dead :)

[Pandoras]

I do what my great gramma always did...make a big meal, set the table....and leave the room for the night. In the morning, ya clean it all up lol. Dinner for the dead :):thumbsup: Hey, it works, right.

[Mòrag Elasaid Ní Dhòmhnaill]

I always set an extra space at the dinner table at this time and leave a plate out for my ancestors at Samhain.

[Ben Trismegistus]

Um... *ahem*

We prefer the term "Silent Supper".

[WhiteRavenBran]

Um... *ahem*

We prefer the term "Silent Supper".

Isn't the silent supper where the whole family sits and eats at the table with extra spaces for those who have passed in complete silence? I believe I've seen that in The Rites of Odin .

So a dumb supper is when you leave the room?

I guess there are as many variations as there are people who practice this. Sounds like a nice thing to do for Samhain to honor the ancestors.

[-Ember]

It has always been called "Dumb Supper" at the grove I'm part of. We hold it as part of our festival (open to students/dedicates/guests... ritual is not.) Each person makes up two plates, one for themselves, one for their departed, and eats in silence. Can be a very moving ritual, depending on who your guest(s) end up being.

[Ben Trismegistus]

Well, they mean the same thing. I just think "silent" sounds a little better than "dumb" ;)

[-Ember]

The grove is a bit stubborn about a few things... a public sabbat group locally also decided to rename it to silient supper after a child asked why they had to go to the supper if it was so dumb....

[Ben Trismegistus]

The grove is a bit stubborn about a few things... a public sabbat group locally also decided to rename it to silient supper after a child asked why they had to go to the supper if it was so dumb....
OK, that's funny.

[xblue420x]

OK, that's funny.
Hehehehe that is funny..I almost had soda come out of my nose when I saw that.. Kids are so cute!

But yeah, I like 'silent' better than 'dumb' too. Either way, it's a great thing to do for your ancestors, and from what I know they really like it. Just make sure its not burnt or anything, or you might come home to find a big mess on the floor

[Pandoras]

The grove is a bit stubborn about a few things... a public sabbat group locally also decided to rename it to silient supper after a child asked why they had to go to the supper if it was so dumb....Hehe. Yeah, I actually prefer Silent Supper too. But since I thought most people are familiar with the phrase Dumb Supper, I went with that instead. I've heard it called many things though.

[WhiteRavenBran]

Silent supper sounds a little nicer to me too.

[SilentDreams]

Well, they mean the same thing. I just think "silent" sounds a little better than "dumb" ;)

LOL yes

[Romani Vixen]

I like to throw a party, explain the signifigance for those of my friends who don't know already, and leave a small plate for the souls.

[~Elise~]

Yes, we do that every year. My whole group participates...it is part of ritual.

Elise

[Mòrag Elasaid Ní Dhòmhnaill]

I'm not really sure why silent sounds so much better than dumb. Dumb is the correct word to use when referring to one who can't speak. ~shrugs~ The only reason it sounds not-nice is because so many people use the word incorrectly.

[DebLipp]

I've never seen IamaWtich.com before, what a nice-looking site!

"Dumb" is a term that the deaf community is unhappy with. Although I have always called the rite a Dumb Supper, two of my downlines are Sign Language Interpreters, so I suppose I shall have to change.

One thing that is left out of this article is that one traditionally uses no salt at all for the Silent Supper. Salt purifies and preserves life, and thus drives away the dead. When we've had these suppers as pot-lucks, it has been difficult to enforce the no salt rule, but we try, and we add no salt at the table.

When there's a large crowd, it's hard to have empty seats for the dead. We set up pictures and mementos of the dead at our places and set aside plates of food for them. Sometimes we then do a regular Samhain circle after dinner and bring the pictures into the circle.

One of my daughters had a Loud Supper a few times, where small amounts of talking were permitted ("pass the water, please").

[HolographicJoe]

Hehehehe that is funny..I almost had soda come out of my nose when I saw that.. Kids are so cute!

But yeah, I like 'silent' better than 'dumb' too. Either way, it's a great thing to do for your ancestors, and from what I know they really like it. Just make sure its not burnt or anything, or you might come home to find a big mess on the floor


And the alliterative quality is nice.

[~whispers~]

while mabe a little unconventional at our house every year we set up a table in the corner and on it is placed a candle for everyone in our family and friends that has passed. when we set down to eat plates of fruits, breads, cheeses and goblets of wine are placed on it and the candles are lit. its our way of letting them know we care and asking them to be with us. the table is left alone the rest of the evening with the exception of dessert plates being added then at the end of the night we say a small prayer to our loved ones to watch over us all and guide us, then teh candles are extinguished except for one that is battery operated ( safer left alone of course) and the room is emptied and left alone until morning when we then go clean it up. its a way that those in our family that are not in the same "faith" can take part to because its not just for one religion or faith... its a way we can all show those we love that we still care.sorry so long.. just a subject really close to my heart.

[Spiritcalf]

I've added a new article to IAmAWitch.com about hosting your own Dumb Supper on Samhain. It's on the home page for now, but it will later be moved to the Witchcraft Basics section.

You can see it at http://www.iamawitch.com

By the way, have any of you ever done this?

I did last year, and it was amazing.

[~Anamorata~]

Silent is a much nicer sounding word...have attended a couple of these dinners...held one myself a couple years back...went quite well.

[-Ember]

I actually prefer the word "dumb." It just sounds more like the suppers I've attended/helped host feel like. "Silent" just doesn't have the same muffled/deadened/tomb like quality to me.

[Spiritcalf]

be prepaird to stiffle laughter, when everyone is silent and serving, something will happen most likely, everyone will giggle and that is ok, just refrain from talking or making a big scene. Everything will be ok, my advice is now given.

[-Ember]

Although if it is done every year with a core group of the same people, that diminishes. It gains its own momentum to where, after a decade or so, it just really is so unthinkable to do so that that just doesn't really happen.... someone starts to make noise and they will get glared at... even by other new people.

[Spiritcalf]

Yeah but this is a time to honor the spirits, not mourn them, why else would you invite them to dinner, what do you think they would get upset more about, a little unintentional laughter or people being rude with stares of death/scorn?

[lythadancer]

I do it with my circle. I find it healing and profound.

[Spiritcalf]

I agree lythadancer, I found it most uplifting.

[-Ember]

Yeah but this is a time to honor the spirits, not mourn them, why else would you invite them to dinner, what do you think they would get upset more about, a little unintentional laughter or people being rude with stares of death/scorn?

It isn't stares of death/scorn. It is that enough people are shifted that there just isn't a place for it. Anyone who doesn't get dragged along with it is very much out of place. Accidents and such they get a glare... intentional or not, they are in a ritual, they are disturbing a ritual. Intentionally noisy.... you don't want an acting/drawn-down theign and summoner dealing with you (which is the case in this ritualistic of space.) They will probably just escort you out, some will "talk" to you, but if you've any sensititivity you will be left with no doubt that you were a breath away from death.

And IMO for what is done at the dumb suppers I've been part of, that needs to be the case. I'm not there to celebrate or to mourn. I'm there to open the gates and build a bridge. If someone can't do it, they need to get out of the way. It isn't about ego, it isn't saying they are any lesser for it, but if they don't fit, they need to not be there. It isn't about making everyone welcome and give warm fuzzies to all... It is about doing a job. And it is as much for the expelled person's good as the groups'. If someone doesn't fit in a mill working, they have to be pulled so they don't get trampled. And as long as there is that piece that doesn't fit, the rest are not free to go with it, to really work it.

[Spiritcalf]

You need to lighten' up just a little. Just a smidgen, just a tiny microscopic bit there ember.

[-Ember]

You hit a bit of a sore nerve there.... I just really am very sick of hearing that any sort of self discipline or expectation of ritual etiquitte is taboo in the name of warm fuzzy bring everyone into the ritual and dumb (no pun intended) it down to the person who "gets it" the least.(I am not saying that is what you were saying, just that is the nerve that got hit.)

Most of our Hallows activities are light and festive. But the dumb supper is meant to be intense, and if someone (intentionally or not) is ruining it for others they need to not be there... go outside, in another room, whatever. Or if they can't handle the intensity themselves, they need to not be there. It isn't a matter of shame anymore than passing out in a mill working is... but it needs to be dealt with in part by removing them from the situation, from the ritual space.

[Teresa]

This is the ritual I use this time of year.

[Teresa]

Bump its today!

[ravenscape]

I've added a new article to IAmAWitch.com about hosting your own Dumb Supper on Samhain. It's on the home page for now, but it will later be moved to the Witchcraft Basics section.

You can see it at http://www.iamawitch.com

By the way, have any of you ever done this?

Hey this is too cool! I Googled Dumb Supper last week and your site was one of the first returned and definitely one of the most helpful. It's nice to "meet" the author!

Once the trick-or-treating calms down in my neighborhood I will have a small and (obviously) quiet Dumb Supper to honor my cousin who died this year, as well as other friends and relatives who have passed beyond.