Every man cheats?

[~BEBZ~]

Whoa! Whoa, before you guys burn me in effigy let me explain. I just heard that quote on T.V., and it makes me wonder. The stats are that 60% of men and 40% of women cheat on their spouse. And I'm thinking that if 60% of men fess up to it then the actual number has to be closer to at least 80%. That's a lot, and would qualify saying every man cheats. The show is on Primetime Live tonight and looks to be very interesting.

I am currently having these fears myself. Up until I met my husband, I too thought all men were cheaters. After I met him I didn't think he would have the heart. Now, I'm not so sure. I am deathly afraid of it, don't know if I could stand to have my heart broken again. :heartbrea But if it is so common, should we really get so mad about it? Should we end our marriages over it if it is to be expected? Or should we move on and forgive them of their mistake? :hrmm:

[Pol]

So common? How is it so common?
To say that because some survey says 60 percent of men cheat and as such obviously it's really 80 is a bit of a stretch.
Furthermore, as men tend to be more open about their dalliance ('i'm a man, i can't help it!') than women, you could then say that it's probably more like 50% 50% before speculation, or more women cheating than men.

[Tangerines]

Those look like some seriously inflated (read: bullcrap) numbers to me. What exactly are they using to constitute cheating? "If he so much as looks at the chick int he short skirt walking by"? Mind you, I'm not defending cheaters. I'm just wondering how they got those kinds of numbers.

[Valnorran]

Been with married to my one and only wife for 13 years. Been seeing her exclusivey since 1987. Haven't even toyed with the idea of cheating on her, and I don't plan to. Contrary to popular belief, we *do* have a choice in these things. I choose loyalty over infidelity. I have a wonderful wife and two great kids. Flushing all of that down the toilet for a roll in the hay makes no sense whatsoever.

[Aidron]

Whoa! Whoa, before you guys burn me in effigy let me explain. I just heard that quote on T.V., and it makes me wonder. The stats are that 60% of men and 40% of women cheat on their spouse. And I'm thinking that if 60% of men fess up to it then the actual number has to be closer to at least 80%. That's a lot, and would qualify saying every man cheats. The show is on Primetime Live tonight and looks to be very interesting.

I am currently having these fears myself. Up until I met my husband, I too thought all men were cheaters. After I met him I didn't think he would have the heart. Now, I'm not so sure. I am deathly afraid of it, don't know if I could stand to have my heart broken again. :heartbrea But if it is so common, should we really get so mad about it? Should we end our marriages over it if it is to be expected? Or should we move on and forgive them of their mistake? :hrmm:


Then 60% of all women cheat, by your logic.

For the record, I'm a guy, and I don't cheat. To be quite honest, I rarely notice other guys, and when I am with somene (granted, this was 5 years ago...) I never notice them. In fact, they seem to literally go off my radar to the point that I walk right into them. I simply not one of those people who cares for 'eye candy'. You cannot see a personality from one quick glance, so I find it irrelevant to look. That alone should be proof of how I don't cheat (despite my word on the fact that I never have).

Frankly though, I don't think this is a matter of statistics so much as it is being unhappy or option spoiled. We live in a society where we can be, do, and obtain almost anything we want. If we choose something, we know we must ultimately give up something else. Many people find that difficult to cope with, so they never truly choose, just half-way commit to something.

I think it boils down to interest. If something comes along that interests you more than what you have it is only natural to give up what you have and go after it. Who would really want someone here to remain with them if they were more interested in someone else? I wouldn't, and since people in this day and age apparently lack enough courage to truly tell others how they feel they instead opt for secrecy and deception rather than cutting the cord and being honest.

[semi]

I have never and would never cheat on a woman who I was committed to.

[~BEBZ~]

Those look like some seriously inflated (read: bullcrap) numbers to me. What exactly are they using to constitute cheating? "If he so much as looks at the chick int he short skirt walking by"? Mind you, I'm not defending cheaters. I'm just wondering how they got those kinds of numbers.
Several polls have been done of hundreds of thousands of married couples, and the numbers always turn up about the same. And cheating was meant as having sex with another person.

[Hellenic_Witch]

I don't think it's so common, I think it's just commonly talked about. And it is, of course, a common fear. I would like to say that I am so secure that I don't worry about it happening to me. (But that would be a lie, because I have had my moments) But on the whole I am not worried about it. Well, not today.....yet.....until this thread.....

[Aidron]

Well... I don't know about everyone else in the world-and frankly, unless I'm in a monogamous relationship with you, I don't give a crap-but I for one do not cheat. If I was going to, I would rather break up with the guy and go after the guy who truly interests me.

Why settle second best and stick with a guy that makes me miserable when I can dump him and go for the guy that makes me happy? Eh.

[Tangerines]

Several polls have been done of hundreds of thousands of married couples, and the numbers always turn up about the same. And cheating was meant as having sex with another person.


To put it nicely, I sincerely doubt any and all of the statistics posted in this thread thus far.

[~BEBZ~]

To put it nicely, I sincerely doubt any and all of the statistics posted in this thread thus far.
Then go to another thread if you don't have anything constructive to add. Do you think I pulled these numbers out of my bum? You don't believe them then go find some you do and post em up. Sorry but I'm seriously not in the mood.




Yes hate me, flame me, give me bad karma. I don't care right now. I'm all for a decent debate, but don't poo poo every little thing I say.

[Romani Vixen]

I'm so sorry that you're having these feelings.

Never compromise!!!! If he wants to have other women, he can ask you for an open relationship! there is no reason to lie about it! I know... I've done the bad thing too.... Karma hasn't finnished my lesson i'm sure...

*********huggs********

[Aidron]

Then go to another thread if you don't have anything constructive to add. Do you think I pulled these numbers out of my bum? You don't believe them then go find some you do and post em up. Sorry but I'm seriously not in the mood.




Yes hate me, flame me, give me bad karma. I don't care right now. I'm all for a decent debate, but don't poo poo every little thing I say.


Oh good grief, calm down. Simply because someone doubts the statistics provided (and I am one of them for the record) does not mean they are not adding anything constructive.

Do you really want to place your faith in statistics that you yourself cannot even prove first hand? If you do, that's foolish. It can manifest paranoia, doubt, worry, all of those nasty things that bug us from time to time.

:rolleyes:

[Jolixte]

Sounds to me like someone has been manipulating statistics which isn't hard, or that it was a voluntary response poll which are extremely unreliable. But I don't really know for certain that all these men and woman aren't, just sounds unlikely.

[~BEBZ~]

Oh, don't worry, I don't have my hackles raised yet. I have just noticed that Tangerines has a tendency to be very rude and not have anthing constructive or very nice to say. I didn't want this to turn into one of those times. I asked questions. They seem to be getting ignored. If someone has problems with my stats, find others. Why pick apart my thread, derail it, and try to tick me off? I'm not saying it's been done yet, but it looked like it was going in that direction.

[WickedBttrfly]

All I know, is when it says 60 % of men cheat, it means 60% of the men that answered the survey admitted to cheating. That does not mean that all men cheat. Not everyone took the survey. Funny thing about statistics like that.

[~ Monk ~]

Then go to another thread if you don't have anything constructive to add. Do you think I pulled these numbers out of my bum? You don't believe them then go find some you do and post em up. Sorry but I'm seriously not in the mood.
:wtf: What exactly would you deem as "constructive?"

I too have my doubts about the numbers you posted. In my experience it's pretty even when it comes to the genders cheating.

The only other thing I can say is if you're that consumed by the fear that your partner will cheat, perhaps it's best to not be in a relationship. *shrug*

[Tangerines]

Then go to another thread if you don't have anything constructive to add. Do you think I pulled these numbers out of my bum? You don't believe them then go find some you do and post em up. Sorry but I'm seriously not in the mood.




Yes hate me, flame me, give me bad karma. I don't care right now. I'm all for a decent debate, but don't poo poo every little thing I say.

Get over yourself. There, I added something constructive.

[Aidron]

Oh, don't worry, I don't have my hackles raised yet. I have just noticed that Tangerines has a tendency to be very rude and not have anthing constructive or very nice to say. I didn't want this to turn into one of those times. I asked questions. They seem to be getting ignored. If someone has problems with my stats, find others. Why pick apart my thread, derail it, and try to tick me off? I'm not saying it's been done yet, but it looked like it was going in that direction.


Actually, I think you do. You are driven by fear that someone will cheat. What do you have to confirm these supsicions as being logical? This could be something you are imaginging to be quite honest, that will only harm you-and most definitely the relationship. Breathe, count to 10, and if you are truly so worried perhaps a relationship is not for you.

Why must we find other statistics if we have a problem with yours? The numbers are not the problem in my eyes, it's that you are relying on statistics.

No one is 'derailing' your thread. It is just as constructive and on-topic to discuss the statistics you posted as it is to agree with them. Good grief.

[Phoenix Blue]

The only other thing I can say is if you're that consumed by the fear that your partner will cheat, perhaps it's best to not be in a relationship. *shrug*
Agreed. Spare some poor guy the onus of being distrusted simply because of his gender.

[semi]

BEBZ, I was talking to a friend earlier today about relationships. We talked about the futility of hoping for certain things in a relationship and the futility of dreading things in relationships. We agreed that the best way to be is just in the moment. Don't think about the possibilities of your husband cheating. Right now it's irrelevant. Just be happy in the place that the relationship is in now if it's a good place. Enjoy life now, don't fret over what may or may not be in the future.

[Tangerines]

Oh, don't worry, I don't have my hackles raised yet. I have just noticed that Tangerines has a tendency to be very rude and not have anthing constructive or very nice to say.

I don't have anything nice to say because this isn't a feel good, pick-me-up thread. If you want nice, I happen to be the one who started the SOmebody Needs a Hug thread.

As to being rude: no. You just take offense when someone calls your judgement into question. Too bad. Question everything. That's one of life's rules. Think critically. I called your statistics into question because, frankly, people (not limited to this board) do tend to pull them out of their arse. I don't think too highly of statistics, frankly, especially when presented to me in so informal a format as an online discussion board.

[barlitone]

Whoa! Whoa, before you guys burn me in effigy let me explain. I just heard that quote on T.V., and it makes me wonder. The stats are that 60% of men and 40% of women cheat on their spouse. And I'm thinking that if 60% of men fess up to it then the actual number has to be closer to at least 80%. That's a lot, and would qualify saying every man cheats. The show is on Primetime Live tonight and looks to be very interesting.

I am currently having these fears myself. Up until I met my husband, I too thought all men were cheaters. After I met him I didn't think he would have the heart. Now, I'm not so sure. I am deathly afraid of it, don't know if I could stand to have my heart broken again. :heartbrea But if it is so common, should we really get so mad about it? Should we end our marriages over it if it is to be expected? Or should we move on and forgive them of their mistake? :hrmm:

:mad:

Uh, excuse me?

You took a statistic, raised it for no logical reason that I can see, and are using that to justify saying that all men cheat? Did I get all that? I mean, you could have at least changed the actual percentage to 100%; saying that 80% qualifies as "all" is just wrong. "Most," sure. "All," never.

Well, by your logic, women cheat about 60% of the time. Then, I suppose, I could say that most women cheat. But, I won't.

It might interest you to know that I've been in a total of three long-term relationships, including my wife. I've never cheated on one of them. They all, at some point, cheated on me. And, I'm not talking about "I looked at some other guy with desire" or "I called that guy on the phone" cheating. I mean "I had sex with that other guy, hope you don't mind" cheating. My wife and I worked it out just fine, if you're interested. But the statement you use for the thread title, and the attitude of the first post, is unbelievably sexist.

And, because of a statistic of admittedly dubious quality, you're doubting your husband's fidelity? Listen: you'll be much happier and more secure if you suspect your husband of cheating ONLY if he shows signs of doing so. Like the women who have cheated on me (I reiterate: all of the ones I've given my heart to have done this to me), men leave clues. I have my own way of finding out if the woman I'm with is cheating; and it does not revolve around her gender whatsoever.

You have to devise your own plan to see if hubby is cheating - and don't let the fact that he is a man lead you to believe that he is, by default, a cheater. Do so, and you'll only be happy alone or a lesbian.

[Phoenix Blue]

As to being rude: no. You just take offense when someone calls your judgement into question. Too bad. Question everything.
Actually? You can do all of that without being rude. Try it sometime. And in the meantime, quit kvetching about the statistics and answer the frelling question.


But if it is so common, should we really get so mad about it? Should we end our marriages over it if it is to be expected? Or should we move on and forgive them of their mistake?
I think one should forgive it, or try to, once. If it happens again, they're gone, no ifs, ands or buts.

[~BEBZ~]

Boy you people sure are good at reading stuff into things that aren't there. I am not consumed by fear that my husband will cheat on me. In fact, untill today I had no worries at all. I wil admit that before I met him I did think that of all guys because that had been my expierience. One of the reasons I married my husband was because I thought he wouldn't do something like that to me. That statement and upcoming show made me stop and think that it might just be a possibility. That is not a good place to be in. It is a shock to feel that seed of doubt that I worked so long to get rid of try to sow itself again.

[Aidron]

I think one should forgive it, or try to, once. If it happens again, they're gone, no ifs, ands or buts.


I wouldn't, personally.

If someone truly is cheating, and they happened to be someone whom is with me in a monogamous relationship, you are gone. I don't believe in forgiveness most of the time. Whether you are drunk, sober, or so hormonal you can't stand it, you still have free will.

[Valnorran]

BEBZ, if your relationship is healthy, one stupid story on one crummy news show shouldn't be making you feel this way.

[~BEBZ~]

Thank you Phoenix.

I don't want to read much into it, but coming from you it means a lot. Twice in one day?! Wholy Cow! As soon as I can I really will give you some good karma.

[Tina]

I'd say about 75% of all people do/have/will cheat! I noticed alot of men jumping on here all saying the same thing, "but I don't cheat & I wont" sure thats what they all say even the cheaters & none cheaters too. I am not saying that only men cheat either I know girls do it to. Cheating is becoming more common & that makes me sick. Its just so discusting & gross it turns my stomach sick. In fact I think there should be somehow(not sure how though) laws against cheating!

[~BEBZ~]

BEBZ, if your relationship is healthy, one stupid story on one crummy news show shouldn't be making you feel this way.
I'm just not used to fighting with my husband. The past few weeks have been rough. I know I'm being a baby and things are probably going to be fine, but shaky ground on something I was so sure of (IE my marriage) is scary. I have another reason for having these feelings. I don't wish to post them on here though.


PB, I am inclined to agree that maybe the person should get a second chance. I'm just not sure if me personally could get over it. It is a question I am asking myself. That is why I wanted the input of others.

[Valnorran]

I'd say about 75% of all people do/have/will cheat! I noticed alot of men jumping on here all saying the same thing, "but I don't cheat & I wont" sure thats what they all say even the cheaters & none cheaters too.
Well... it comes down to trust. If even one person in the relationship doesn't have it, it ain't gonna work. There are no guarantees. If you love them, you trust them not to cheat.

[Valnorran]

I'm just not used to fighting with my husband. The past few weeks have been rough.
Even the most loving couple fights from time to time.

I have another reason for having these feelings. I don't wish to post them on here though.
*nods* Fair enough.

[Tsuchimaru]

I'd -never- cheat on my SO. There, I just proved the thread's title wrong... :)

[Pol]

I'd say about 75% of all people do/have/will cheat! I noticed alot of men jumping on here all saying the same thing, "but I don't cheat & I wont" sure thats what they all say even the cheaters & none cheaters too. I am not saying that only men cheat either I know girls do it to. Cheating is becoming more common & that makes me sick. Its just so discusting & gross it turns my stomach sick. In fact I think there should be somehow(not sure how though) laws against cheating!

I think you should consider A) how many people there are in the world and especially outside of your particular country/culture/society/religion, B) how many of these people aren't jerks, and C) how blanketing and overly presumptuous your statement is.

[Tsuchimaru]

I think you should consider A) how many people there are in the world and especially outside of your particular country/culture/society/religion, B) how many of these people aren't jerks, and C) how blanketing and overly presumptuous your statement is.

Indeed. :nuhuh:

[charmedkisses1]

It depends how the cheater acts in the future, and how they explain what/why they did. Almost all cheaters continue cheating, even if they are "clean" for a while.

[misschief]

actually, i think more women cheat than men. the stats i heard (can't remember the source) were the opposite... 60% of married women had cheated, and only 30-40% of married men.

[Tina]

I think you should consider A) how many people there are in the world and especially outside of your particular country/culture/society/religion, B) how many of these people aren't jerks, and C) how blanketing and overly presumptuous your statement is.
You have your opinion & I have mine, & I am sticking to my opinion, because in my opinion what I said is very close to being right. I was not refering to the whole world, just the U.S.A & Canada, & I was not refering to all age groups just the teen to middle age groups but I am refering to both men & women!

[Tina]

actually, i think more women cheat than men. the stats i heard (can't remember the source) were the opposite... 60% of married women had cheated, and only 30-40% of married men.
now I sit back and wait for everyone to jump on me!

[charmedkisses1]

actually, i think more women cheat than men. the stats i heard (can't remember the source) were the opposite... 60% of married women had cheated, and only 30-40% of married men.
Actually that's not true. And to be fair, it's probably closer to 55% men, 45% women. (I mean, the married men can't have cheat with themselves...)

[Jolixte]

People, please stop just making up statistics.

[misschief]

well.. no one survey is like the next.. i'm not saying you are wrong... but in my experience, and within my little 'circle', more women cheat than men. *shrug* guess it all depends on where you are, who you ask, and if they feel the need to answer.

[misschief]

now I sit back and wait for everyone to jump on me!eh.. who cares.. lol. i get jumped on all the time.

[Tina]

I think you should consider A) how many people there are in the world and especially outside of your particular country/culture/society/religion, B) how many of these people aren't jerks, and C) how blanketing and overly presumptuous your statement is.

Yeah guess 75%'s about right! LMAO

[~BEBZ~]

Okay, everyone HUSH! The Primetime thing is on and they are throwing around those stats.

I am happy to say that I belong in the only 8% of couples who have sex every day. 8%??? Dang! I didn't think it was that low!

I'm going to write all these numbers down so I can post them when it's over.

[~BEBZ~]

You can find the entire program results at http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/News/story?id=156921&page=1

[Fairyelf]

Been with married to my one and only wife for 13 years. Been seeing her exclusivey since 1987. Haven't even toyed with the idea of cheating on her, and I don't plan to. Contrary to popular belief, we *do* have a choice in these things. I choose loyalty over infidelity. I have a wonderful wife and two great kids. Flushing all of that down the toilet for a roll in the hay makes no sense whatsoever.
see that!! now thats a real man!!! whooyaa!!!
lucky woman :woot:

[Tina]

see that!! now thats a real man!!! whooyaa!!!
lucky woman :woot:
I agree!

[Xentor]

Boy you people sure are good at reading stuff into things that aren't there. I am not consumed by fear that my husband will cheat on me. In fact, untill today I had no worries at all. I wil admit that before I met him I did think that of all guys because that had been my expierience.

Read stuff into your post? Didn't you just state how scared you are?


I am currently having these fears myself. Up until I met my husband, I too thought all men were cheaters. After I met him I didn't think he would have the heart. Now, I'm not so sure. I am deathly afraid of it, don't know if I could stand to have my heart broken again.

[Xentor]

But if it is so common, should we really get so mad about it? Should we end our marriages over it if it is to be expected? Or should we move on and forgive them of their mistake? [/B] :hrmm:

I have a problem with the way you asked this question. Consider this analogy:

The bible book of Leviticus has a couple of verses about women's menstruation and pregnancy. It states that women in their monthly period and right after birth are "unclean" for a couple of weeks and puts down a rule that they should not be in church for that time. Anyone touching them during that time is "unclean" until nightfall.

Now someone might pick up those verses and conclude that women are closer to god during their period.

Then, someone might not quite understand the logic behind it and has two choices:
1) ask WHETHER women are closer to god during their period
2) ask WHY women are closer to god during their period.

The difference being: the first question asks for opinions on the statement without presuming that the statement itself is true. There is no accusation in the question. However, the second question does presume that the statement is true and does include an accusation.

Now back to you, Bebz.

You chose to formulate your post as in #2. The second-guessing of the statement "all men cheat" is diminished to "if all men cheat, then...". Thereby you presume the statement is true and thus accuse the entirity of the male gender of something you consider harmful conduct.

Yes, I have a problem with that. Who knows, perhaps it's because I'm part of the group you're accusing.

[CalisticSunrise]

Hmm, well my fiance has been cheating on my for a little while now, and even though i've know about it he just admited it to me. But i did forgive him because i expected it. But my case is slightly different, I can't have sex and he's went without for 2 years i don't think many guys at all could go through that. but it's hard to just forgive and forget.

[Phoenix Blue]

I wouldn't, personally.

If someone truly is cheating, and they happened to be someone whom is with me in a monogamous relationship, you are gone. I don't believe in forgiveness most of the time. Whether you are drunk, sober, or so hormonal you can't stand it, you still have free will.
**Shrugs** That's your life, your decision. Frankly, I'd prefer not to throw an otherwise-solid relationship away because of a single stupid mistake.

[Pol]

You have your opinion & I have mine, & I am sticking to my opinion, because in my opinion what I said is very close to being right. I was not refering to the whole world, just the U.S.A & Canada, & I was not refering to all age groups just the teen to middle age groups but I am refering to both men & women!

Actually, I have no opinion - except that you should study up on how many people there are in the US and Canada, and how many of them actually cheat instead of just supposing it's 75%, baselessly.

Also, you did say of 'all' people. ;)

[Little Willow]

Does it really matter what the statistics are? Surely the only thing that matters is whether you or your partner cheat, whether you trust them or you don't - whatever everyone else does isn't really of anyone's concern is it. My first husband cheated on me all the time, my second one did it twice. The first time I forgave him ... the second time I slung him out. The guy I'm with now ... he would never cheat on me and I wouldn't on him. I guess it depends on your relationship. Is it strong and loving? Sex doesn't come into it, we have hands after all (sorry for being so crude). I expect my fella to look at good looking women and I'll be damned if anyone says I can't look at good looking guys ... but that's all it is ... looking. We are only human, and we like pretty things ... or ugly ... depends on an individuals tastes.

The questions:
But if it is so common, should we really get so mad about it?
Hell yes. If someone says they’re gonna love you and only you then that’s what they should do. If they decided that the relationship isn’t going as it should, or find themselves wanting to be with someone else, they should damn well say so and leave beforehand.

Should we end our marriages over it if it is to be expected?
Dear me no. Though why you’d get married in the first place if you expect them to cheat is beyond me. I don’t expect my other half to cheat on me, I never have expected it.

Or should we move on and forgive them of their mistake?
I think I’ve already answered that. I will only ever forgive it once … but then I did drag it up every time we argued … so I suppose I didn’t really forgive him. The second time round … well they should know how much it hurt you last time by the harsh words and the massive 2 month fight, so they should know better. If they know how much it hurt you the first time … they wouldn’t do it again unless they really didn’t care. I suppose you could say that they shouldn’t do it once, which I agree, but we all make mistakes. And through mistakes are lessons learned.

Do I think all guys cheat?
Of course not. Although I have had some bad experiences in the past, I think it’s better to be optimistic. You have to believe it will never happen to you, there’s no point getting into a relationship just to get hurt unless your masochistic of course. And another thing. If you’re not open to trusting someone, they will know that and it will hurt them. That’s when the problems will begin. Look at it from another perspective. How would you feel if the person you were madly in love with and had committed yourself to totally believed you were eventually gonna cheat on them?

Sex every day! Wow. I admit I'm not in the 8%.

[LadyTrinity]

Men do cheat.. and so do women. I would like to think its equal. Too many dummies in this world.. not enough people with proper up bringing I guess :bigredblu

[Aelfoak]

I don't believe in cheating and would never do it.

[Valnorran]

see that!! now thats a real man!!! whooyaa!!!
lucky woman :woot:
Thanks for the kind words!

[Ben Trismegistus]

Did you know that 67% of all statistics are made up on the spot?

OK, seriously. Every relationship is unique. If you make any decisions regarding your relationship based on what happens in relationships of people you don't know, you're doomed to failure. Each relationship is based upon the specific joining of two personalities - yours and your partner's. You each have unique priorities, unique desires, unique abilities. So how could you possibly predict what is going to happen in your relationship based on statistics or surveys or whatever?

So extrapolating from that: Stating that "all men cheat" and therefore any man you're likely to date will probably cheat on you -- well that's a recipe for an unhappy relationship. If you go into a relationship anticipating failure, you'll get it. The key to a successful relationship is building trust and respect between you and your partner, and that's done in entirely different ways depending on the priorities and the personalities of the two people involved. Therefore: generalizing is impossible. Just concentrate on your own relationship and don't worry about what other people are doing.

(Side note: Male, married 7 years, don't cheat.)

[Phoenix Blue]

Did you know that 67% of all statistics are made up on the spot?
What a crock. Everyone knows it's 75 percent! :p

[Yasmine Galenorn]

Whoa! Whoa, before you guys burn me in effigy let me explain. I just heard that quote on T.V., and it makes me wonder. The stats are that 60% of men and 40% of women cheat on their spouse. And I'm thinking that if 60% of men fess up to it then the actual number has to be closer to at least 80%. That's a lot, and would qualify saying every man cheats. The show is on Primetime Live tonight and looks to be very interesting.

I am currently having these fears myself. Up until I met my husband, I too thought all men were cheaters. After I met him I didn't think he would have the heart. Now, I'm not so sure. I am deathly afraid of it, don't know if I could stand to have my heart broken again. :heartbrea But if it is so common, should we really get so mad about it? Should we end our marriages over it if it is to be expected? Or should we move on and forgive them of their mistake? :hrmm:

Hey Bebz...try not to sweat statistics--anybody can prove anything if they get the right group of people to answer these polls. Frankly, I know a lot of guys in relationships and very few of them ever look at women other than their wives/SO's in anything but a friendly way. In fact, for the ones who have cheated, it's about on par with the percentage of women I know.

I don't think it's as common as it's made out to be. And if it happens, well it's up to the individual about how they feel and react. I'd be furious--we made vows of fidelity and if those vows are broken, the marriage is broken. I just don't trust people who lie to me and cheating is a form of lying, not to mention putting my health at risk. I don't know what my husband would do if I were the one who cheated...but he'd have every right to toss me out, considering our oaths. Each person will deal with it as they're able.

Hell, my husband doesn't even notice when other women eye him...and if I mention it, he looks at me like, "Huh?" ~grins~ I used to be afraid he'd find someone thinner/younger/less wacko than me, but I don't have that fear anymore. The years have taught me that--as far as I can ever trust anyone--I can trust him. But it took some time for that trust to build.

Yasmine :colorful:

[~ Monk ~]

What a crock. Everyone knows it's 75 percent! :p
It doesn't matter, 99% of people knew it already.

[~BEBZ~]

LOL! 95% of you guys are crackheads! _wedgie_










*This is a disclaimer for all those who don't have a sense of humor. The term "crackhead" is not only used for people who smoke crack anymore. When referenced in this situation it means silly.

[Tsuchimaru]

LOL! 95% of you guys are crackheads! _wedgie_

Yeah, but only a startling 43% of them know that.... :D

[Valkie]

Well... I know for a fact that my hubby doesn't cheat................ I know every time that he's going out with a girlfriend :p.

Besides, I hang out with his girlfriends more than he does :smile:

But seriously, is it really worth throwing away a otherwise perfectly good relationship because of one mistake?

[DixieWitch]

I heard the same quote....every man cheats...ppffttt....maybe every man she's been with cheated on her. I've been with my man for almost 6 years and he hasn't cheated. I'm not saying he will later....but I know my husband and I know it's something he won't do unless our relationship gets really bad off. Which also won't happen. I've cheated on one guy, twice. The guy I cheated on him with, I'm now married to. And I'm not going to cheat. I have no reason to. My husband and I love each other very much and there is no reason for it to happen. We have the complete love and trust needed to keep our marriage going.

[LadyAutumnCat]

[QUOTE=Ben Trismegistus]Did you know that 67% of all statistics are made up on the spot?

OK, seriously. Every relationship is unique. If you make any decisions regarding your relationship based on what happens in relationships of people you don't know, you're doomed to failure. Each relationship is based upon the specific joining of two personalities - yours and your partner's. You each have unique priorities, unique desires, unique abilities. So how could you possibly predict what is going to happen in your relationship based on statistics or surveys or whatever?

So extrapolating from that: Stating that "all men cheat" and therefore any man you're likely to date will probably cheat on you -- well that's a recipe for an unhappy relationship. If you go into a relationship anticipating failure, you'll get it. The key to a successful relationship is building trust and respect between you and your partner, and that's done in entirely different ways depending on the priorities and the personalities of the two people involved. Therefore: generalizing is impossible. Just concentrate on your own relationship and don't worry about what other people are doing.

QUOTE]

Completely agree!!

[Yasmine Galenorn]

Well... I know for a fact that my hubby doesn't cheat................ I know every time that he's going out with a girlfriend :p.

Besides, I hang out with his girlfriends more than he does :smile:

But seriously, is it really worth throwing away a otherwise perfectly good relationship because of one mistake?

Yes, because if the vows included fidelity, and one partner breaks those vows, then they've broken oath and dishonored the relationship as well as their spouse. I would never trust anything they said after that. And if the relationship was so 'perfectly good,' why did they cheat in the first place? If they couldn't be honest about problems between us, but instead sought out a sexual relationship elsewhere on the sly, then they've broken any chance we had of making the relationship work because as I said, I'd never be able to trust them again. I take my vows seriously, and expect my partner to as well. That's why I don't make promises very easy--I don't want to chance breaking them.

Of course, this is presupposing the existence of monogamy within the relationship.

Yasmine :colorful:

[i.t.]

i would never cheat