Need help explaining beliefs to "born again" sdaugter.

[abbyseyes]

Okay, I'll try to keep it short:
2 months ago, my 17 year old step-daughter was a newly self-proclaimed atheist. I'm not one to push my path on others. If someone asks, I'm glad to answer if I can. Anyway, I knew it was a stage she was going through so I just rode it out. Well, her Christian boyfriend of several months broke up with her b/c of her atheism..... In an effort to reconcile, she agreed to attend some study groups.....(very insecure and manipulative on his part I thought, but INOMB) Well now she's "found religion", as in christianity is the only path to god; paganism, wicca, are cultish and yada yada yada... (yes, I'm remaining very very calm :D) Here's the problem: I'm fairly new to the Pagan/Wiccan path. I know I'm finally on the right spiritual path for myself. But I haven't been on it long enough to know exactly what it all means to me and what direction I'm going to go with it. (I really hope this makes sense.) Therefore, I'm having a very hard time explaining the what-for's and why's that she has asked me about or challenged me on. I'm making everything sound wishy-washy.

I tried the "all paths lead to God" and "no path is more right or wrong than another", but she ain't buying it. Just my luck, her boyfriend would be from the "Church of Our Way is the Only Way!"

I know this stage too shall pass. But in the meantime how should I handle it without making Paganism/Wiccan/Green Witchcraft sound like some flakey devil conjuring cult?

Any suggestions, ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
Cat

[Tigerwallah]

My advice to you is that you don't need to explain yourself at all. If you do not feel that you have the right answers at this stage in your spriritual developement, just refrain. She's very young, and if she is getting into Christianity for her boyfriend she's not doing it for the best reasons. I would wager a guess that eventually, they will break up and this too will be a thing of the past.

Merry Meet Cat!!!! Welcome to our family. :wave:

[rantnraven]

worked for me.

Sounds funny but, acceptance of all paths is the way to go. Christianity, as you well know, can seem rather stubborn where belief comes to play. I have found the “Wagon Wheel” testament to work rather well.

People walk around the wheel in search of the “truth”, only, there is no real truth, only belief. The hub, or center of the wheel is the goal if people really care anyway – atheists tend to be happy with the wheel and do no seek the hub.

The spoke is the path and the balance to, and of, the hub. If you had a wheel and a hub with only One spoke, the wheel would not work. Even two spokes would only work for half a turn of the wheel before breaking.

Three spokes would do okay for a while but, in reality, there are hundreds of spokes (paths) to follow. That is what keeps the wheel spinning. There is no right or wrong in them and, they, generally address the same thing – the hub. Whether your “spoke” is Christian or, Pagan, the same common goal does exist.

Hope I made some sense without being TOO metaphorical.

RnR

[Myst]

I agree with Tiger.

It's good that you can discuss this with her, but maybe you should ask her to respect your beliefs as you respect hers. Just say "I know we think differently, and that's ok. If you have questions I'm happy to discuss them with you, but I won't argue. We're both adults and I think we should agree to respect eachother. If we can't do that I don't want to talk about it.", and then *not* talk about it if she can't agree to be respectful.

[tube527]

I understand how it feels.....I was a Christian my whole life...I mean, I went to church 3 times a week! About three years ago I started not beleiving in the "Christian Way" and while I was on vacation w/my mother this past summer, she saw I was reading some books my best friend gave me to increase my knowledge. She could not understand where I was coming from.....the one thing I remember was she said "You're a Witch? I'm scared of it, because I don't know anything about it" From then on I have answered any questions she has asked.....she repects me and I respect her. Time will tell!
BB
Tube527

[SpikesPet5150]

I had a big problem like this with my cousin, although she was not nearly as nice about it as your daughter seems to be. Usually our conversations started out her asking me questions... then her getting mad at my calm responses... then her getting even more mad that I was sitting there calmly discussing it, without defending any of the things she was trying to say. SHe would ask things like, "What about the bible?" "Umm, what ABOUT the bible? Thats YOUR book, not mine." It seemed like she wanted me to discredit everything in her religion. She thought I had to prove Christianity "wrong" in order for Wicca to be "right." Of course, we all know thats not true. :) The one thing I said that shut her up right away was, "I don't feel the need to defend my religion to you. I'm comfortable enough in my beliefs that I don't feel threatened by yours." That worked like a charm. Of course, the last time I saw her she had denounced any organized religion, so she's still against me.. but hey, at least she's not trying to convert me anymore.

It always seems to me that the people questioning others beliefs (or putting them down, telling them they're wrong, etc etc) are the ones who are insecure about their beliefs. They start doubting, so they feel to the need to make other religions seems less likely, so they can feel more comfortable in theirs. But thats just my opinion.

I don't like anyone who doesn't understand a religion to judge people based solely on the fact that they believe in it. Maybe what you need to do is explain a little more about witchcraft and what it means to YOU. Not what it means to the entire religion, but what it personally means to YOU. Think to yourself, when you hear the word Magick or Spells or Witchcraft, what do you feel, what do you think? Every witch I know has their own deffinition of what Wicca (or Paganism) means to them. Maybe once she realizes you're serious about this, and understands a little more where you're coming from, she'll lighten up.
~Bree
:elf:

[gunner]

very nicely stated bree, of i were marking that for a grade it would be an "a" but then all the answers i've seen here are good ones

[SpikesPet5150]

:) Thanks Gunner! Do I get a gold star?? I've always wanted a gold star. :)

I hope everything works out for you Cat.. please keep us posted!
~Bree

[gunner]

one bright golden star

[story]

ya know, i had a similar situation with a friend of mine. She found christianity and got a little pushy. We still hung out, but it began to get awkward. After a few months of all of our conversations ending up with her trying to "save" me i finally just stuck a cold beer in her hand and pulled out the bible. we sat there for about 3 or 4 hours looking through and talking about it. i asked her to show me the parts that really struck her. I showed her my favorite verses. Then i showed some of the more cryptic ones and asked her to talk about them. Some of them stumped her, and she went away thinking. The next day she just "happened" to be in the neighborhood again. We had a nother long talk. Over the next few weeks we had several more.
The end resuklt was pretty cool. She came to some tenative conclusions, which lead her to change denominations (she been a quaker now for about a year.) Sher also now credits me with getting her to think more deeply about her faith. On top of that, she now has stoped trying to convert me, and has developed a respect for my views.
Now if i could only get her to lay off about the smoking thing.....

i don't think your daughter can really have a very good understanding of her faith if she just converted. It takes a lot of time for someone t come to terms with thier world view. Some people (including the profoundly religious) struggle with it thier whole lives. You may want to suggest to her that she wrestle some more with her own beliefs before she worries about yours. Nicely of course.

Best of luck :)

[abbyseyes]

Thanks to everyone for responding.

My SD hasn't been by in a couple of days. But next time she wants to talk I'll be a little more prepared thanks to all of you. I'll let you know how it goes.

Again, Thanks.
Cat