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Athena-Nadine
November 9th, 2004, 01:13 PM
...yesterday.

I don't know why this should come as a surprise to me; I've been walking on egg shells in that place for a year and a half, since Doobie and I started seeing each other. So now I've finally lost my job. And over what? Not my work performance, not even the fact that I'm married to another employee. I lost my job over a stupid email that I sent two months ago while trying to cheer up someone who was going through an extremely rough time. Supposedly, it violated sexual harrassment policies. *...shakes head...* It was nothing but two pictures of lions roaring at each other, and it violated sexual harrassment policies. *...sighs...* It just goes to show that not everyone is going to se things the way I do. I thought it was perfectly innocent. I guess not.
I've never been fired before. I've been laid off a couple of times, but this is different. This is a huge blow to my ego, and my self-confidence.

So now I'm sitting here, beating myself up over it. I know I need to let it go, but I can't seem to stop being angry with myself. Gods, I just hope that this isn't a sign that Doobie's going to get fired as well. We can make it witout my salary, even though it will be a bit difficult for a while, but if he gets fired too, we'll come really close to losing everything, since he makes 5x the amount of money that I did. I hope I'm just being paranoid. After all, he was out of town when I sent the email to Amanda, and he had nothing to do with it. But they've had issues with the fact that we're together for over a year now.

So many things may have just been changed by nothing but me sending Amanda an idiotic email. So many plans may have just gone to shit. Children. Gods, we might have to put off having children now. Doobie's going to be 37 years old in April. I'm almost 32. Sure, I'm fairly young, but neither of us wants to get much older before having children. I have enough issues with pregnancy as it is. I don't need my age adding to them. And neither of us wants to be too old to keep up with our children as they get older. 37 doesn't sound like a big deal until you start adding children, and their respective ages and needs into it.

Which leads up to, "What do I do?" Sure, I could get another job. But do I go back into Sales? Do I just find another Assistant job? Do I just Temp, since I don't need to worry about medical insurance? While Temping sounds nice and all, because I wouldn't have to worry about leaving someone in possibly less than a year to be a SAHM, it doesn't guarantee work or a paycheck. Who knows how often I'll actually get assignments? But then, with the way things are right now, who knows how long it would take me to find another job? References aren't a problem. My ex-boss already told me he'd give me whatever references I needed since it had nothing to do with my work performance. If I go back to Sales, I can make my own hours, but the honest truth is that I'll end up working more than 60 hours a week for at least the first 6 months until I rebuild my client base. I can make a lot of money, but it'll take time, and I may not make any money for months.

Honestly, at this point, I'm so fed up and depressed about it all that I don't even want to work at all right now. Right now, I'd much rather stay home and cook, take care of the house, and everything we never have time for with both of us working.

*...sighs...* This too shall pass. I just have to figure out what I want/need to do. Sweet Doobie. He's decided that he'll leave it up to me, if possible. He told me to just take the rest of this week and not worry about anything, to just relax. He agrees I should make any decisions in the state of mind I'm in now. So now I have to spend the rest of this week fighting the Depression and the demon's voices that are trying to get a grip on me again. I've been doing so well for so long. I don't know if I could stand to lose control of my Depression now. *...pauses...* And now I'm jumping at shadows. My own house, the one place I feel secure in this world, and every little noise is making me paranoid. *...shakes head...* I just went and checked that all the doors are locked, and now I'm debating whether I should set the house alarm. It's been disarmed since Doobie left this morning.

*...sighs...* Everything will be fine.

Everything will be fine.

Everything will be fine.

Maybe if I say it often enough, I'll actually start to believe it again.

Sorry, I'll stop rambling now.

Faeawyn
November 9th, 2004, 01:16 PM
Everything will be fine :) :hugz:
This door may have slammed shut in your face.....so you'll just keep a look out for the open window. A window always opens. Until then....chin up...don't let this place make you lose faith in yourself. They don't define who you are....you do. It's their loss :hugz:

Lunacie
November 9th, 2004, 01:18 PM
Serious bummer. :hugz:

Yasmine Galenorn
November 9th, 2004, 01:21 PM
I'm so sorry. I'd say take some time to regroup. Losing your job can be a serious blow to the ego and you need to be easy on yourself right now. You might want to do a spell to strengthen your husband's position at work, too.

:hugz:
Yasmine

CaitrionaMorgaine
November 9th, 2004, 01:21 PM
*hugs*

Avalon's Blessings, ~Rhiannon

HolographicJoe
November 9th, 2004, 01:28 PM
You were planning to have children soon anyway, right? So have them sooner rather than later. If you were planning to be a SAHM, than that sounds like a plan. Temp until you get pregnant and start to show then you've no problem quitting. Yes, money may be tight, but It'll be worth it. and 37 is getting up there. My fathee was 36 when I was born and by the time I was 12 he was really starting to slow up a bit. Now I'm 23 and he's an old man. He's only 60 (not too say that everyone is old at 60), but he's an old man. it's an opputunity. grab it by the ...ah...horns and make the most of it. Sorry I can't be more helpful. And it suctions massive yak cojones being fired. I'm sorry. This whole PC thing is just life ruiner.

As many cheers as i can send you.

J.

Keroberos
November 9th, 2004, 01:28 PM
that's a bummer, seems like a really dumb reason to get fired too. But at least your husbnd still has his job so you don't have the stress of frantically finding a job now.

Mystical
November 9th, 2004, 01:30 PM
Sorry to hear about the job. I know it'll all work out - just have faith :) - It'll get better!

Bainidhe Dub
November 9th, 2004, 01:33 PM
:hugz: I'm sorry hon. That totally sucks butt.

Storm Moon
November 9th, 2004, 01:34 PM
:hugz:

Ahautenites
November 9th, 2004, 01:37 PM
**hugs**

And now I understand the forebodind/foreshadowing you put into the MW Ball thread post.

Sis, lock the doors and arm the alarm system, if only to put your mind at ease. But look at things this way: you just got a boot in the butt by the Fates because it was just time for you to move on. That job served its purpose.... it let you find Doobie. Now, you need to take a week to regroup, reassess, and decide what *you* want to do. Even if Doobie lost his job, too, you'd still both be okay, because I'd be willing to bet he's got enough experience and contacts that he could easily open his *own* business.

Calyx
November 9th, 2004, 01:41 PM
Athena-Nadine,
I am a firm believer in the fact that when one door closes, another door opens. Maybe it's not what you planned for or expected, but it's time for a change. :hugz:
Being fired is a serious blow to your self-confidence, I know, I've been there once. As long as your boss says it's not your performance, will he let you submit a letter of resignation instead?
Keep your chin up, hon. It will get better. :chatty:

Oh, and my hubby is turning 43 this month, and our girls are 4 and 6. So 37 isn't too old at all! _inlove_

DebLipp
November 9th, 2004, 01:45 PM
Poor girl. I've been there. It sucks. It's a terrible feeling. It took me a long time to stop working and re-working it in my head. But everything works out, you know that.

Rowan MoonDragon
November 9th, 2004, 01:48 PM
Sweeite, it sounds like they may have been just looking for a reason and the email was the best they could come up with. If they had a problem with you being together and working together I doubt you have anything to worry about as far as hubby's job is concerned. I agree with HolographicJoe, maybe its the time to start your family now since you were going to be a sty at home mom anyway. Maybe this is the opportunity. It will be ok sweetie. Really, it will. Dont beat yourself up. Like I said, it sounds to me like they were looking for a reason. *hugs*

Kalika
November 9th, 2004, 01:57 PM
:hugz:

We're looking for people where I work... :p

Not sure that its what you're looking for, but its a thought anyways!!!

Cinnamon Girl
November 9th, 2004, 01:59 PM
I don't have any better words of wisdom or advice that haven't already been said, so I'll just give you :hugz: and hope something good comes out of this.

Athena-Nadine
November 9th, 2004, 02:06 PM
Thanks, everyone. You all rock! _pounce_ I know I'll be all right. I know everything will be all right. Honestly, I think if it wasn't such a small-seeming thing, I'd probably not be beating myself up so badly right now.

Why is it that it always seems to take longer to forgive yourself than it does to forgive others?

We talked about children last night, and we both decided that neither of us wants to wait just because of this. Not as long as we won't end up losing our house by doing so. Doobie's at work pulling his closing and registration report for the month (he's a mortgage banker) and I've been going through the rest of our finances to make sure we could get through December. Thankfully, the bills for November have been paid for a week now. We have medical insurance, and he has a very well-paying job. We have assets that could be liquidated if it became necessary (though I'm praying it doesn't). He's had a bad year this year, but his closings are starting to pick up again. Even now, I know we're better off than many. Money is an issue, but we're lucky and it's not as serious an issue as it could have been.

Really, I think the blow to my own ego is the hardest to deal with right now. That, and waking up in the morning and realizing that I really don't have anything I have to do. I feel more than a bit lost.

Ses, the bizarre thing is that I had no idea when I answered your post about the Ball yesterday. :lol: I was just thinking that a year is too far ahead for me to commit to anything.

Yes, this too shall pass. And I know I'll be fine. :) A few peopl have reminded me already that I've already been through much worse than this in the past, and always came out just fine at the end. Funny thing, that. I know I've been through worse. Comparatively, this is a minor setback that shouldn't even be worth stressing over. But, you know, no matter how bad things in the past may have been, it doesn't seem to be able to make this seem less.

DragonsChest
November 9th, 2004, 02:20 PM
I have a small humble suggestion. Most school districts are in need of substitute teachers. If you have a degree, you will command a bit more per day than a person who does not have a degree. But as long as you can pass the background check, you should be able to have work almost every day. :steppy:

Sometimes you can luck out and get a long term position, such as when a teacher goes out for surgery leave or maternity leave.

Best of luck, you'll be fine. And yes!!! Start that family! You'll never be in a position where you are totally financially ready to have a child (well, maybe you will be, we never were :kooky: ), so hop in the sack and have fun.

:hugz: to you both!

Ahautenites
November 9th, 2004, 02:22 PM
Then it really was foreshadowing. ;)

**Hugs again** Definitely shouldn't wait to have kids. I need little pseudo-nieces and pseudo-nephews to spoil.

Just tell me you haven't reached the point where you're blasting Billy Joel music in an attempt to fill the empty house. :D

Athena-Nadine
November 9th, 2004, 02:26 PM
Then it really was foreshadowing. ;)

**Hugs again** Definitely shouldn't wait to have kids. I need little pseudo-nieces and pseudo-nephews to spoil.
As you command, Your Highnessness. :p


Just tell me you haven't reached the point where you're blasting Billy Joel music in an attempt to fill the empty house. :D
Oh, Gids, no. I'm not that bad. Not today, anyway.

Ahautenites
November 9th, 2004, 02:29 PM
Finally, someone who knows my proper title and the proper salute (the sticking out the tongue part).

Verthandi
November 9th, 2004, 02:32 PM
Everything will be fine :) :hugz:
This door may have slammed shut in your face.....so you'll just keep a look out for the open window. A window always opens. Until then....chin up...don't let this place make you lose faith in yourself. They don't define who you are....you do. It's their loss :hugz:
What she said. *hugs*

Gracecat
November 9th, 2004, 03:19 PM
:hugz:

Lame ass stupid nitwit bosses. May they suffer a thousand years of rotting camel snot covered in sand. (I love foreign curses, they're so much better than our own)

Boogins
November 9th, 2004, 03:23 PM
I'm so sorry. I'd say take some time to regroup. Losing your job can be a serious blow to the ego and you need to be easy on yourself right now. You might want to do a spell to strengthen your husband's position at work, too.

:hugz:
Yasmine
I have to agree. Hang in there, Athena. :hugz:

13thChylde
November 9th, 2004, 03:34 PM
:hugz: to you, Athena-Nadine.
Take the rest of the week off and be frivolous!
Real life will always be here next week....go to the spa and movies and hiking and latte-ing, etc.

You'll be refreshed and ready to make decisions afterwards.

LadyAutumnCat
November 9th, 2004, 03:37 PM
:hugz:

Moriquenya
November 9th, 2004, 04:36 PM
:huddle:

WandererInGray
November 9th, 2004, 05:10 PM
:hugz:

Lame ass stupid nitwit bosses. May they suffer a thousand years of rotting camel snot covered in sand. (I love foreign curses, they're so much better than our own)
What she said. *jerks thumb at Gracecat*

Loser jerks. *hugs* Love you sis, we'll help out any way we can. Don't worry about it.

*grins* Um, hey Kalika, if Athena's not interested in your job openings I know someone else who will be in Colorado soon and needs a job. ;)

Athena-Nadine
November 9th, 2004, 05:13 PM
What she said. *jerks thumb at Gracecat*

Loser jerks. *hugs* Love you sis, we'll help out any way we can. Don't worry about it.

*grins* Um, hey Kalika, if Athena's not interested in your job openings I know someone else who will be in Colorado soon and needs a job. ;)
Thanks. :hugz:

Yeah, and she'll need it more than I will, honestly. :)

Psyche Ague
November 9th, 2004, 05:22 PM
I'm so sorry, babe...*hug* :heartthro

WandererInGray
November 9th, 2004, 05:26 PM
Aww shucks. *grins and winks* If my luck holds steady, I won't need it and neither will you.

Wanna be my personal assistant? :heybaby:

~ Monk ~
November 9th, 2004, 06:16 PM
:hugz: I'm sorry to hear about this. It's never a good feeling whatever the reason.

Frodo
November 9th, 2004, 07:51 PM
I'm with ya, lost mine too. Hang in there!! I know how rough it is. Sending a hug and some positive thoughts your way. Hope it all comes back together quickly for all!:hugz:

Blessed Be,
Frodo

Rudas Starblaze
November 10th, 2004, 08:41 AM
hey, try to think of it this way. the gods and goddess have granted you dismissal of your job so that you can take the time that has been allowed to you for family. to accomplish that which you havent had time for. to give you a break from the everyday stress that comes with a job. take this break and enjoy the life that you have, things will get better. take it as a sign that there is another really good job out there that is waiting for you.

_pounce_

everything will be alright. trust me.

Avalon
November 10th, 2004, 12:11 PM
Sorry I'm so late in getting my wishes to you, but lots of love and energy for you (and hubby too, while we're at it). :rubhead: