How politics are tearing my family apart.... a rant

[KaimelarFeylove]

This morning my uncle called my grandmother and, amoung other things, dissowned his entire family.... very blatently...

For those of you who don't know, my uncle, who happens to be one of my favorite family members, is gay, and my grandmother voted for bush. According to his partner, he's been alot more agressive and quick to anger sence the elections. Hes been doing things hes not normaly done, like going to places where he knows people are likely to be intolerant and make loud comments, basicly asking for confrontation. This is probaly just becasue hes trying to let off the anger, but we're worried that he'll end up getting hurt. Here in the south, doing such is morelikely to get you hurt and other places.

His partner came over and mad emy grandmother feel better, letting her know that my uncle really does love her (they talked about it after it happened) and that the things he said were all in anger. I wrote him a letter, just to tell him that i could understand his anger, and that i wanted him to know i'd always be there to support him. I just don't want to lose one of the few family memebers that i like to spend time with...

i know what he did wasn't right, but i can understand that anger makes you do things you wouldn't normaly

[sandra_the_green]

i'm sorry :hugz: its hard when you have a politically split family, i know. stay strong, and i think that your letter was a great idea!!!!!

[KaimelarFeylove]

i'm sorry :hugz: its hard when you have a politically split family, i know. stay strong, and i think that your letter was a great idea!!!!!

thanks... it hard to vent of my friends... so much easier here.. an di like most of the people here better.. :D

[charmedkisses1]

There is a rant thread :)

[Gracecat]

:hugz: Maybe he's feeling a bit rejected by people that he felt should have supported him. Bush is adamently against something that is a very important part of gay advocacy right now. I'm guessing in his mind, your grandmother was denouncing his choice.

If Bush's ideas of marriage was her reason to vote, I'd say your uncle has an apology coming. If she felt other issues were important enough that it was a lesser of two evils, I'd explain my opinions, reiterate I supported his choice and that it wasn't a rejection towards his partner. I'm glad his partner recognizes the anger and is doing some damage control, that speaks very highly of his choice of love :). Hopefully he'll calm down before he does get hurt. It's not the idea he's gay. Alot of straight men can find fights if they look hard enough too.

[evie_mun]

My brother is gay and I have a feeling that, had he not already silently disowned my family, he would do the same to my parents. I can say that I somewhat agree with your uncle. For example (hypothetically) if there were a candidate that strongly advocated and was planning on putting into action a law that would ban Wiccans from marriage, and my parents voted for that candidate, I would do the same. I dunno. I sort of see it as a sign of dedication and love my parents have for me.

If there were a candidate that would do something to purposefully hurt my parents or family, I sure as heck wouldn't vote for them. That's just sort of the way my mind works. That's why we keep the conversation of politics out of the family.

[WingedTigerChild]

I can certainly understand your uncle's anger, as a vote for Bush is much like a vote against homosexuality, however, I agree with what Gracecat said. If she didn't vote for Bush because of her feelings toward same-sex issues, then maybe she should try and explain her reasons to your uncle (if he'll listen) and let him know that she supports him.

[KaimelarFeylove]

Yes, Gracecat, i agree that that is mainly teh issue, but teh fact that he's gay isn't a problem,... she belives he was born gay, and everyone loves his partner... hell, he's over here more than my uncle, cause he works less...

She's more against teh word "marriage" than the aspect itsself... Just becasue its in the bible that marriage is sacred.. i told her in that can, then shouldn't all non chrictians should not be allowed right? She gave me a look like i was takeing the micky....

honsetly, i have wanted to do the same, but bit my touge for simplicities and harmonies sake...

I guess what bothered my mom, and me, was he spoke against teh entire family, includeing my mom and i, who he knows support him, and my aunt, who voted for kerry i'm pretty sure

[KaimelarFeylove]

I can certainly understand your uncle's anger, as a vote for Bush is much like a vote against homosexuality, however, I agree with what Gracecat said. If she didn't vote for Bush because of her feelings toward same-sex issues, then maybe she should try and explain her reasons to your uncle (if he'll listen) and let him know that she supports him.

They had breakest once according to her and she told them how she felt.... she had no problem with them together, but didnt like the marriage thing

[KaimelarFeylove]

My brother is gay and I have a feeling that, had he not already silently disowned my family, he would do the same to my parents. I can say that I somewhat agree with your uncle. For example (hypothetically) if there were a candidate that strongly advocated and was planning on putting into action a law that would ban Wiccans from marriage, and my parents voted for that candidate, I would do the same. I dunno. I sort of see it as a sign of dedication and love my parents have for me.

If there were a candidate that would do something to purposefully hurt my parents or family, I sure as heck wouldn't vote for them. That's just sort of the way my mind works. That's why we keep the conversation of politics out of the family.

All of the family memebers i aucully like have similar political views as me anyway... all the others have made fun of me to the point that i almost don't consider them family... bujt i wouldn't delibirately hurt them

[KaimelarFeylove]

There is a rant thread :)

But i want to talk to people about it.. hear other stories.. i looked at teh rant thread... i didnt want to scream, i wanted to talk

[WingedTigerChild]

I don't have any similar experiences to share with you, as my family pretty much agrees on all political issues (I grew up in the UU church). I think maybe getting your grandmother to open up about her feelings in regards to marriage might help. Biblical marriage (despite the typical, mainstream belief), was often polyamorous in nature and involved the woman being married off...I don't want to say against her will...but as it were, it often involved the daughter being married off in exchange for something.

[audi]

what a frustrating situation. it sounds like your family is really accepting and supportive and is able to get beyond the anger behind the words to truly love a member of your family. i hope that they will always be able to do so. i wish you the best! take care. *hugs*

[KaimelarFeylove]

I don't have any similar experiences to share with you, as my family pretty much agrees on all political issues (I grew up in the UU church). I think maybe getting your grandmother to open up about her feelings in regards to marriage might help. Biblical marriage (despite the typical, mainstream belief), was often polyamorous in nature and involved the woman being married off...I don't want to say against her will...but as it were, it often involved the daughter being married off in exchange for something.


Well that fact would be lost on her... shes not logical in teh way most people are/should be. oh well...


what a frustrating situation. it sounds like your family is really accepting and supportive and is able to get beyond the anger behind the words to truly love a member of your family. i hope that they will always be able to do so. i wish you the best! take care. *hugs*

thanks... i'm hopeing it will blow over.. i just dont want him to get hurt, or hurt himself