Drawn to dark goddesses - fascinated but frightened

[mydemand]

EDIT: This is a followup. I posted it here since it got lost in Page 3 of this thread...

Hi again,

I suppose I didn't make myself clear... sorry

I didn't think they were evil actually - when I said "dark", I meant that they had a tendency to reach into your shadow aspects, transform your life up and down, make major changes that you might not be prepared for. I put Brigid there not because she was a "dark" goddess, but because I was also drawn to her and she seemed so different from the rest.

About Lilith...that also came with a LOT of fear and doubt. I also read about her "demonic" past and all that is associated with her, but the drawing power is still there. When I first thought of her I thought "strong, powerful, strong-willed, confident" and then I encountered the literature and I got scared. I asked a lot of people about it, and I asked my closest friend about her and basically all that gave me reassurance. So I dedicated myself to her a few months back...has been a hell of a ride, I tell you. The one week I was reading about Eris (I stumbled on the Principa Discordia and for some reason it made sense)? Chaotic. ALL THAT affected my feelings on other similarly life-altering Goddesses too - Goddesses that shake you inside out.

My main concern was this: it's not so much that they're evil or something, no no. It's just that I am not sure whether I can handle any more upheaval. I had already been down and out and I'm currently rebuilding myself. I'm at the point where I can begin to relax. I'm not sure whether I can handle being broken down AGAIN and start all over.

Nothing to do with evil or anything, no. Kali protects my closest friend, and I've seen her go through LOADS of challenges and I'm not sure I personally am ready for that.

What I did yesterday seemed to calm me down a bit...I talked to the Goddesses and shared my feelings. Said that I was somewhat ready for Athena, Persephone, and Brigid, but not so ready for Eris and Kali, though I acknowledge that they'll probably affect me regardless. Somehow I see this as Lilith's test to me, to acknowledge other sides of me. (I just came to this realization as I wrote this O_o) I just hope everything works out.

Thanks for the input, all.

edit: I'm not sure that it has to do with the seasons. I live in the equator...the only season we have is summer. o_O

B*B, Tiara

************************

Original post

Hi all,

I've recently been very drawn to Dark Goddesses, or Goddesses that have some dark aspects to them - Athena (Goddess of War, among other things), Persephone, even Kali. (And Brigid; I've heard she can be quite fierce but I don't know if she's considered "dark" exactly)

Thing is though, it's really going against my nature. I'm a pacifist; I hate war, don't like destruction, and I'm scared of death. I've had way too many changes in my life and I don't think I can handle any more. I don't understand WHY I'm so drawn to them, when I'm actually really really scared of them. (Kali especially - SCARES ME LIKE HELL. I heard of her through a friend of mine who's dedicated to her, and when she was telling me about her I got chills.)

I just recently dedicated myself to Lilith, and that has been one heck of an experience. Heck, one time I found Eris interesting, and for a week my life was complete CHAOS.

Why am I drawn to such goddesses when I feel like I am totally not ready for them? I could use more "nice and fluffy", I've had enough of hardship for now...so why the sudden draw to challenging tough goddesses? I do not understand o_O

any insight?

B*B, Tiara

[greenwitch]

perhaps the reason that you're so drawn to them is because they have a lesson to teach you? I realize that destruction can be a very scary thing, but from it comes rebirth. So maybe the reasons are that you have much to learn, that can only be from destructive or "dark/unhappy" things. When you were drawn to Eris and your life was chaos I'm sure you learned something from that time didnt you? Well perhaps you are meant to learn something out of this attraction to these goddesses.

Just a suggestion
Blessed Be,
Adra

[Anubis RainHawk]

I'm attracted to dark deities and always have been in my life as a Witch. The thing to think about is the lesson that they are trying to teach. Just becuase they're dark, doesn't mean they can't love. All of the gods I've been have been very loving. Why don't you meditate with them and ask what they have to teach you. It may not happen at the first time, but it will come eventually.

Anubis RainHawk

[mydemand]

perhaps the reason that you're so drawn to them is because they have a lesson to teach you? I realize that destruction can be a very scary thing, but from it comes rebirth. So maybe the reasons are that you have much to learn, that can only be from destructive or "dark/unhappy" things. When you were drawn to Eris and your life was chaos I'm sure you learned something from that time didnt you? Well perhaps you are meant to learn something out of this attraction to these goddesses.

Just a suggestion
Blessed Be,
Adra


Hi Adra,

Firstly, thanks for your post, I really do appreciate it.

I'm wondering what could the lesson possibly BE. See, I had just recovered from a tough year of complete darkness. I was lower than low, I was soulless, I was battling depression and panic disorder and it was extremely hard for me.

This year things are getting a lot better, and I feel happier...though it has also been rather bittersweet in some places. (e.g. sweet: I met two more kind souls that have impacted my life greatly. bitter: they're moving away from me and I'll probably never see them again. and so on)

I'm not sure if I'm able to handle another rough, dark year like the one I had two years ago. What I could use right now is a bit more fluff...not a lot more dark. I've gone THROUGH darkness already; is it really necessary for me to experience it again? It'd probably kill me.

I'm rambling, sorry. But thanks for your insight.

B*B, Tiara

[Romani Vixen]

I don't like the term 'dark gods'. I find 'blunt' for more accurate! :)

There's nothing to fear. Apparently you have something to learn from them. Do some research on each.

[DandelionDame]

I just wanted to say that I understand. I've gone through plenty of dark times long ago in my past, I now have life as I want it. But I've had the call and subsequent fascination/infatuation with one who's considered a "Dark Goddess" but when I study and meditate on her, I feel an intense kinship with her, as opposed to "Oh crap, what would you do to me if I were to dedicate myself to you???" It kind of feels like I understand her now, much more than I would have when I went through the darkness because I've faced some not-so-nice stuff, I'm always learning about that less-than-light part of myself (even though I've worked hard to get past bad stuff that caused dark times), and now, though I know I'm not her equal (I mean only that I'm not a Goddess with infinite wisdom!), I understand certain parts of her that I wouldn't have before. Maybe this is some of what you're experiencing too? I don't think that a Goddess that's modernly thought of as "dark" necessarily wants to mess up your life, especially if you've already gone through the kind of stuff that you have; maybe she just wants to teach you things that you couldn't have possibly absorbed before going through all of that. That's what I'm thinking about my own situation lately, and your words reminded me very much of my own scared thoughts.

Hope this makes some kind of sense!

[indigo rain]

yeah, they can be scary sometimes... (i'm devoted to Sekhmet) but just think. they're on YOUR side. it feels like having this amazingly strong, fierce guardian that never leaves you unprotected. i have this amazing feeling of safety. she's like a mother lioness protecting her young. alot of the "darker" dieties, like Sekhmet, are also healers. if they can bring pestilence, they can take it away. think about that.

[Cielamara]

Darkness does not mean "evil", or "low", or "soulless." Darkness simply means that these are goddesses who embrace the necessary side of existence: death, destruction, chaos, revenge, vindictiveness. In some societies, sexuality and fertility are also grouped with these. The "dark" goddesses like Kali and my own patroness, the Morrigan, represent completion of the cycle. They represent the dark side of the moon. This darkness is necessary and there is no escaping it. It is not evil. You cannot be happy if you only embrace the "light". You will never be fully happy, nor will you ever be fully complete, if you do this. You have to embrace the other side of your nature, the other side of humanity, the other side of the universe.
And that's what they are. They're that other side. They're completion and they're honesty. And in my mind, they're beautiful for it.

[Morr]

My Matron is The Morrigan - She is definitly known as a "Dark Goddess". And as much as I see the dark, scary side in her, I also see the tender, loving & mother like side in her too. She is definitly a balance between the two. To others who dont know her as much as I do - She may seem fearsome and threatning. But in order to see the balance and light within Dark Dieties, you need to take the step and get to know them for all they are. They *will* surprise you.

good luck.

[Mnemosyne]

I don't see Athena as a dark goddess She is a very strong goddess in my opinion. Sometimes she reminds me to get my life in gear.
I know that it's good to find a balance between light and dark. However, I've been more drawn to light, happy goddesses. The only exception is that I think of Persephone more this time of the year. But even as the days grow cold and dark, I still have goddesses such as Maia and Flora on my mind. Perhaps because darkness is all around, I like to focus on something "light" to keep my spirits up.

[Morning Star]

I just recently dedicated myself to Lilith, and that has been one heck of an experience. Heck, one time I found Eris interesting, and for a week my life was complete CHAOS.

Lilith and Eris are both lovely and powerful goddesses. However, try not to look outside of yourself for answers. Remember, the gods represent real concepts that have real effects on your life - so what does it say about your life that these goddesses are being drawn to you (or you to them?) What do you need to learn? What do they have to teach? Why now, at this time in your life?

There is nothing that anyone here can do to answer these questions for you - you need to take the time to reflect on them - to connect your need of them with the current events of your life. There is something for you to learn here, but it is for you and you alone to discover.

[teishabee]

I see dark like other posters. Putting light on the the areas that are deemed hidden, the shawdow self. I have been drawn mainly to dark goddess's but its all about you. The entities you draw reflect your inner self. Maybe by wanting all th light and fluffy, you are neglecting your self. The needs that maybe have grown into the shawdows.

Lilith, as I have read is especially a sexual goddess. With modern society , this isnt seen as a posisitve feature in women, hence why lilith is often demonised.

Dark doesnt equal bad.Just unknown.

[Theres]

I don't see Athena as a dark goddess She is a very strong goddess in my opinion.
thank you, i was waiting for someone to point that out. i don't see how Brighid can be lumped in here either.

[BeachWitch]

I am just a little bit confused by this post. The poster is dedicated to Lilith, but terrified of Dark Goddesses ..... something doesn't sit well with this contradiction. I find myself wondering if the dedicant has any idea who Lilith is, what She represents, Her cultural affiliations and most importantly Her cultural mythology.

I am dedicated to Hekate, have been for 2 years now. I researched long and hard before making the committment, and in the process found that Hekate has been a victim of cultural discrimination. Same as Lilith.

I highly encourage and reccommend "The Dark Archetype: Exploring the Shadow Side of the Divine" by Denise Dumars and Lori Nyx. Dark Deity did not always start out as Dark, but took on those dark characteristics through cultural and tribal changes, mostly war, invasion, or population expansion in rural areas.

If you aren't ready to take off the cultural blinders which place deity in "good" and "bad" categories, you probably aren't ready to be dedicated to Lilith. But hey, what do I know?

[Morning Star]

I have been drawn mainly to dark goddess's but its all about you. The entities you draw reflect your inner self. Maybe by wanting all th light and fluffy, you are neglecting your self. The needs that maybe have grown into the shawdows.

Lilith, as I have read is especially a sexual goddess. With modern society , this isnt seen as a posisitve feature in women, hence why lilith is often demonised.

Dark doesnt equal bad.Just unknown.

Lilith has been viewed as many different things, from the murderer of children and the tormenter of men, to the Queen of the Fairies (Sylvia Browne), to a sexual goddess, to the wife of Lucifer and so on.

I've always viewed the darkness as being the part of ourselves (not them: goddesses are neither light or dark), but the part of ourselves that we keep in the dark - the parts we are shamed of or terrified of. In order to "fit in" to civilized societies, we often times push many of our instincts and intuitions deep into the subconscious, which is the darkness - but once they are remove and we no longer deceive ourselves - they are no long in the dark and therefore no longer dark gods or goddesses. But we must go under first and pull them from obscurity, from the subconscious.

[DandelionDame]

That is *so* perfectly worded and just made so many things crystal clear (for me, I mean). You inadvertently helped me come to a decision, BeachWitch! :)

I am just a little bit confused by this post. The poster is dedicated to Lilith, but terrified of Dark Goddesses ..... something doesn't sit well with this contradiction. I find myself wondering if the dedicant has any idea who Lilith is, what She represents, Her cultural affiliations and most importantly Her cultural mythology.

I am dedicated to Hekate, have been for 2 years now. I researched long and hard before making the committment, and in the process found that Hekate has been a victim of cultural discrimination. Same as Lilith.

I highly encourage and reccommend "The Dark Archetype: Exploring the Shadow Side of the Divine" by Denise Dumars and Lori Nyx. Dark Deity did not always start out as Dark, but took on those dark characteristics through cultural and tribal changes, mostly war, invasion, or population expansion in rural areas.

If you aren't ready to take off the cultural blinders which place deity in "good" and "bad" categories, you probably aren't ready to be dedicated to Lilith. But hey, what do I know?

[teishabee]

Lilith has been viewed as many different things, from the murderer of children and the tormenter of men, to the Queen of the Fairies (Sylvia Browne), to a sexual goddess, to the wife of Lucifer and so on.

I've always viewed the darkness as being the part of ourselves (not them: goddesses are neither light or dark), but the part of ourselves that we keep in the dark - the parts we are shamed of or terrified of. In order to "fit in" to civilized societies, we often times push many of our instincts and intuitions deep into the subconscious, which is the darkness - but once they are remove and we no longer deceive ourselves - they are no long in the dark and therefore no longer dark gods or goddesses. But we must go under first and pull them from obscurity, from the subconscious.
Yes it would seem its a personaly journey to except all of ourselves and not just the socally acceptable version.

I would like to add that maybe what you find deep inside your shadow self is probabaly more scarey then anything you think the dark divinity could do.

[Morning Star]

Yes it would seem its a personaly journey to except all of ourselves and not just the socally acceptable version.

I would like to add that maybe what you find deep inside your shadow self is probabaly more scarey then anything you think the dark divinity could do.

Nietzsche wrote that before we can become truly self actualized, we must first go under and distrurb the subconscious, to awaken the dark gods and to end all self-deception. I am surprised that many pagan traditions do not focus on this aspect of spirituality and that the worship of the dark gods and goddesses are typically left to the left-hand path. It seems to me that spirituality cannot be merely about love and healing, but also hate and violence. We must be masters of our hate, just as we are masters of our love. We must be honest with ourselves about our motives and begin dispelling the myth of altruism and selflessness; and remove the virtues of Christianity (and other death-cults) of sacrifice and salvation from modern pagan spirituality.

The Ego exists - and while it should not be allowed to go "wild" it must be allowed to be itself and to serve itself. Eastern spirituality fights this with all its' might. Christianity seeks to make the ego a servant to God. Yet, there is a real opportunity for us, through paganism, to allow the Ego to be itself and to serve itself, without having to do so with anger or rebellion in mind. The freedom of the Left-Hand path is honesty and a lack of self-deception and the dark gods and goddesses, as we bring them out from the darkness, bring to light the Nature of Mankind - and when we accept our own nature and when we become in harmony with our instincts and intuitions, we become, I believe, closet to the gods.

also, teishabee, i just realized that you had pictures of cats with three eyes on your banner...that is complete and utter madness. Made me take a triple take. :)

[BeachWitch]

I am surprised that many pagan traditions do not focus on this aspect of spirituality and that the worship of the dark gods and goddesses are typically left to the left-hand path.
I have to politely disagree with this statement. Or maybe you just need to reword and rephrase it. Pagan Trads do embrace and include the Dark Archetype in their spirituality without focusing primarily on the Left-hand Path. The brand of Paganism that is all light and airy and filled with happiness, (the SRW Commercialized brand of Wicca that one finds in the New Age Chain Stores across the West and South West), is desperate to distance itself from any form of darkness whatsoever.

Nearly all the Trads which have a distinct lineage of more than 10 or 15 years have lessons and exercizes dealing with the Dark Archetypes.

Unfortunately, this "eclectic" Wicca tends to abhor any inference to Dark Archetypes, to the extent that it's adherants actually consider a follower of Hekate, Set or Loki to be Left Handers or Evil Witches. It's sad that Pagans in general tolerate such behavior and it is easy to see where the "I'm not Wiccan but I'm Pagan" mind set originated. Who wants to be associated with such vast levels of ignorance and intolerance?
We must be honest with ourselves about our motives and begin dispelling the myth of altruism and selflessness; and remove the virtues of Christianity (and other death-cults) of sacrifice and salvation from modern pagan spirituality.
Agreed, however Pagans should not forget that many Christian practices were Pagan traditions first. It was far easier for the Fathers of Christianity to allow Pagan Traditions to exist with their own Stamp of Approval... a sort of First Century Branding for MArketing purposes of the Christian Faith.

Just because Ceremonial Magick has Christian elements does not make it a Christian Path. One must realize that Christianity "stole" many of the Rural Traditions not out of greed, but out of necessity. It was far easier to incorporate a Pagan Tradition into the Christian Church, give it a nice Christian Name and keep the Rural Villagers happy, but more importantly Converted.

In regard to Sacrifice, this is not a Christian Concept. The philosophy of Sacrifice existed well before the Mythology of the New Testament. A better way to look at the philosophies of Sacrifice and Salvation is to see it as the Christian Mythology it is, complete with Gods, Goddesses and Spiritual Ritual.
The Ego exists - and while it should not be allowed to go "wild" it must be allowed to be itself and to serve itself. Eastern spirituality fights this with all its' might. Christianity seeks to make the ego a servant to God. Yet, there is a real opportunity for us, through paganism, to allow the Ego to be itself and to serve itself, without having to do so with anger or rebellion in mind. The freedom of the Left-Hand path is honesty and a lack of self-deception and the dark gods and goddesses, as we bring them out from the darkness, bring to light the Nature of Mankind - and when we accept our own nature and when we become in harmony with our instincts and intuitions, we become, I believe, closet to the gods.
Ok THAT (points above) was quite possibly one of the best paragraphs I've read on MW in a very long time.

[Taurwen]

I don't see Athena as a dark goddess She is a very strong goddess in my opinion. Sometimes she reminds me to get my life in gear.
I know that it's good to find a balance between light and dark. However, I've been more drawn to light, happy goddesses. The only exception is that I think of Persephone more this time of the year. But even as the days grow cold and dark, I still have goddesses such as Maia and Flora on my mind. Perhaps because darkness is all around, I like to focus on something "light" to keep my spirits up.



That was exactly what I was going to say.

Athena is the goddess of Justified War. Her brother (or half brother, depending on what mythology you believe) Ares was God of War for all War's sake.

[BrigidMoon]

Well my first thought when I read your post was that possibly it's the season. We're heading into a season things ending for rebirth in the spring. That would be my gut feeling on your post :)

[Theres]

Unfortunately, this "eclectic" Wicca tends to abhor any inference to Dark Archetypes, to the extent that it's adherants actually consider a follower of Hekate, Set or Loki to be Left Handers or Evil Witches. It's sad that Pagans in general tolerate such behavior and it is easy to see where the "I'm not Wiccan but I'm Pagan" mind set originated. Who wants to be associated with such vast levels of ignorance and intolerance?
Hallelujah!

[IndigoMoon]

I don't like the term 'dark gods'. I find 'blunt' for more accurate! :)

There's nothing to fear. Apparently you have something to learn from them. Do some research on each.

I agree, go where your path takes you. There is nothing to fear. To ensure your life is filled with positive things, just follow the rede!

[mydemand]

Hi again,

I suppose I didn't make myself clear... sorry :(

I didn't think they were evil actually - when I said "dark", I meant that they had a tendency to reach into your shadow aspects, transform your life up and down, make major changes that you might not be prepared for. I put Brigid there not because she was a "dark" goddess, but because I was also drawn to her and she seemed so different from the rest.

About Lilith...that also came with a LOT of fear and doubt. I also read about her "demonic" past and all that is associated with her, but the drawing power is still there. When I first thought of her I thought "strong, powerful, strong-willed, confident" and then I encountered the literature and I got scared. I asked a lot of people about it, and I asked my closest friend about her and basically all that gave me reassurance. So I dedicated myself to her a few months back...has been a hell of a ride, I tell you. The one week I was reading about Eris (I stumbled on the Principa Discordia and for some reason it made sense)? Chaotic. ALL THAT affected my feelings on other similarly life-altering Goddesses too - Goddesses that shake you inside out.

My main concern was this: it's not so much that they're evil or something, no no. It's just that I am not sure whether I can handle any more upheaval. I had already been down and out and I'm currently rebuilding myself. I'm at the point where I can begin to relax. I'm not sure whether I can handle being broken down AGAIN and start all over.

Nothing to do with evil or anything, no. :) Kali protects my closest friend, and I've seen her go through LOADS of challenges and I'm not sure I personally am ready for that.

What I did yesterday seemed to calm me down a bit...I talked to the Goddesses and shared my feelings. Said that I was somewhat ready for Athena, Persephone, and Brigid, but not so ready for Eris and Kali, though I acknowledge that they'll probably affect me regardless. Somehow I see this as Lilith's test to me, to acknowledge other sides of me. (I just came to this realization as I wrote this O_o) I just hope everything works out.

Thanks for the input, all.

edit: I'm not sure that it has to do with the seasons. I live in the equator...the only season we have is summer. o_O

B*B, Tiara

[Rowan Darkmoon]

Why am I drawn to such goddesses when I feel like I am totally not ready for them? I could use more "nice and fluffy", I've had enough of hardship for now...so why the sudden draw to challenging tough goddesses? I do not understand o_O


I think that you're drawn to them because they are tough and challenging, and they see something in you that draws their respect and interest. Or visa versa. :) For a long time I was called by The Morrigan and I didn't answer because I was afraid of what she represented. Death, war, dark stuff. It freaked me out. But she became very demanding, and I had no choice but to listen to what she had to say. :lol:

What did I find? I'm still learning but I found that we have to respect these "dark" things as part of life. They aren't really dark in the sense that we usually use it, not evil but a necessary part of the cycle. Life can be hard, people die, it's difficult to accept or even think about most times, but is important to learn as a growing person. Maybe you're ready for these lessons, maybe that's why they're calling. Maybe they respect that you're tough, that you're a strong person even when you don't feel like it or don't want it. :)

[Toby Stimpson]

It sounds as if the Dark Godddess is talking to you directly, through all of her associated forms. She is a very friendly mother when you get to know her, like a drill sergeant who seems tough at first but is as sweet as a pusy cat underneath.

[Earthy]

The dark goddesses scare the life out of me..and yet i am drawn to them.I am fascinated by Morrigan and Kali and Hekate is the one who has claimed me.

At one time i feared them,but now i feel i am drawing strength from my dark self,reaching deep down and learning to access the power that is mine.