husbands.... and wives too i guess..

[misschief]

so.. who else here has had this happen...

you meet someone who seems to be wonderful, you share similar thoughts and feelings on matters, they are great with your kids (if you have any), your family loves them.. etc. then.. you get married and get a house and all that happy crap.... sounds good so far right?

well.. then they get crazed, controlling, lazy and fat. how the hell does that happen??!

*growl*

[Shanti]

I call that...'true colors shining through'. Looooooong engagements, much caution. Its difficult to say the least. Also one can change over time, and not always for the better. Finding a life long mate I think is a dificult challange. Thats where the saying 'time will tell' means alot. :)

[misschief]

yeah, i think you're right. *sigh* sucks for the kids though.

[misschief]

i think i just want to be single again. and stay that way. ick. maybe i'm just going through a 'thing'. *sigh* hell, i don't know :lol:

[diamondtiger]

LadyLeo... I'm not a marriage counselor by any means, so I can not offer you advise. I do however think I can relate to what you might be feeling. If you want to "talk", I'll "listen". PM me if you ever feel like you need s friend. Okay? :hugz:

[misschief]

thanks :). i'm getting listening offers from all directions right now since i have a habit or airing my dirty laundry online.. lol. i will keep it in mind tho.. never know when i might come knocking.

[diamondtiger]

thanks :). i'm getting listening offers from all directions right now since i have a habit or airing my dirty laundry online.. lol. i will keep it in mind tho.. never know when i might come knocking.If you are comfortable talking about it in a public forum, I won't tell you not to. I'm sorry if you took the offer to mean anything negative. Talk away, get it out.. it's good for you. My offer still stands any time you need or want it. Just want what's best for you. :)

[Temptation]

i think i just want to be single again. and stay that way. ick. maybe i'm just going through a 'thing'. *sigh* hell, i don't know :lol:

Ooo boy! Do I ever know what you mean!!
Sometimes I also want to be single again and never, ever, live with a man again.
But then the feeling goes away when he does something wonderful, out of the blue;
only to return in full force the next time he does something insanely stupid.*lol*
Men, huh? :T

[Wolf O Volos]

You know, there are MANY reasons that once the honeymoon feeling has departed, people start to get to feeling a need to change. Possible that living together, raising kids, and trying to make ends meet get in the way of finding ways to be romantic, or taking time to rekindle the flame that brought you together in the first place.

It happens. And although it is easy enough to point the finger at the other person involved, sometimes you have to understand that sometimes, our actions, and changes we make in ourselves, cause the changes in those around us as well. Not to say that you should blame yourself... not that at ALL... just some insight about what makes the person you used to be madly in love with suddenly seem like an ogre.

If it helps, look inside of yourself for things that have changed with you... consider how they effect the people around you.. the people closest to you. Your children, your spouse, co-workers, extended family... you get the picture. And, if there are things there that you think you could change, that will bring not only you, but them, a little more serenity, or happiness... then go for it. Just saying, sometimes, it is easier to change things about ourselves to bring about positive change, than to make fruitless attempts at forcing someone else to change just to meet your own needs.

And, if your husband continues to be a problem, even after you have made some kind of attempt to bring about a little change... kick him in the ass, and tell him you deserve better. If you could try to change to make things happier and he cannot put any effort into changing himself, he proves that he is selfish and needy, and therefor should be just fine sitting there alone, and loving himself...

Just my 2 cents.

[misschief]

:). i think my life is just going into crash and burn mode. in a few months it'll be done, and i'll get to pick the peices up and figure out how to fit them together. it happens to us all at times. and it is oh so fun.

[Wolf O Volos]

Well, Lady Leo... my thoughts and prayers are with you. And I hope you get though the tough times you are going through smelling like a rose... or patchouli... always loved the smell of patchouli better than roses anyways...

Just remember that everything happens for a reason, eh? And that you WILL get through this. Maybe not as easilly as you would like, but if life was always easy, it would get awfully boring, and we would never grow to find strength within ourselves. Brightest blessings upon you, and hopes that you will find some inner happiness soon.

[misschief]

oh yeah, i always make it thru everything... sometimes i'm a little battered when i come out, lol, but i always come out alive and still fighting. so.. no worries, just migraines and stress :).

[Wolf O Volos]

So things working out for ya yet... or still in a slump?