confusion...

[Bleeding Skies]

well the other day, my mom was looking through a box of old things to find me a book to read. When she found it, she warned me to not go into that box. All day I felt it calling me. I couldnt stop thinking about it. I had to see what she was hiding. To satisfy my curiosity, I decided to just take a look at what was inside. When I did, I couldn't believe it. There were tons of wicca books and papers. So much information on all of that sort of stuff. It's just confused me so much because she knows that I love reading about all of it and she sort of knows it is my religion. I had no clue she had all of that stuff or even that she has beliefs in it as well. I don't know what to think. All the times I mentioned anything about wicca, she would laugh and tell me not to get caught up in all of that. And now I'm discovering this. I just dont know what to do and I wish I had some answers!! grr....oh well. I just needed to vent and tell someone..its been driving me crazy...

[ToriaMaximus]

Maybe she was reading about Wicca in order to get a better understanding of your religion and feels sort of self conscious about it.

[Bleeding Skies]

no..these books are old...she definetly knows a lot about it. she had candles in there and everything.... she barely knows that i believe in any of that.

[kitsch]

ooh, juicy!
maybe it's me, but telling someone not to look into that box is just asking for someone to look in the box.
maybe she wants you to know? i'm confused too..

[Ron]

ooh, juicy!
maybe it's me, but telling someone not to look into that box is just asking for someone to look in the box.
maybe she wants you to know? i'm confused too..
True... even if it was unwillingly. If your mom was a smart cookie she would have just kept the box away from you, but apparently she told you not to look in it. I mean... it's Christmas Eve and you're dieing to know what you're gunna get in the morning. Your father tells you, "Daughter, don't spoil things and look under Mommy and My bed for the presents, okay?"... unless you are completely inhuman, what do you do? YOU LOOK UNDER THE BED!

But moving on, maybe your mom was just reading up on it as you were, that sounds plausible. But if it is as you say, and she knew not that you were so involved...

Maybe she is heavily involved but doesn't want you to know? Or maybe she was previously, but has decided that it is child's play?

I find the irony in the situation amusing. Maybe your mom wanted you to look in that box because she's pagan and she thinks you might be... maybe she's coming out of the broom closet to you? I know a guy that did similar to tell his parents he is gay.

Cheers :fpipesmok

[ToriaMaximus]

no..these books are old...she definetly knows a lot about it. she had candles in there and everything.... she barely knows that i believe in any of that. Oh, ok maybe try talking to her about it in a serious way but don't mention that you took a peek inside the box...? I agree with Rhys maybe since she has an inkling that you believe in that stuff she was trying to out herself to you.

[IndigoMoon]

That's interesting and mysterious. I guess as people we have more in common than not.

[elfmage]

Maybe she has been looking into it for a while, but she doesn't want you to know that?

She could be embarrassed because she is an adult, and a parent, and therefore the "grown-up" one who is not supposed to believe in "fairytale nonsense" anymore. In any case, don't look a gift horse in the mouth, stay quiet about it for the time being, and see how things play out. Maybe make some subtle comments about Wicca, to gauge her reaction.

[Bleeding Skies]

yes that could be true, elfmage, about her thinking it's childish...i dont know..its just so confusing...the more i think about it though, the more I recall conversations about her old friends that were wicca and how they used to get together and all sorts of things. She would laugh as if it was all a joke..but I'm getting the feeling it's not a joke to her. I dont know why shes hiding it though. But i have a feeling she wanted me to look in the box....if she knows me well enough, she knows i do the opposite of what she asks most of the time

[morrigan]

maybe she wants you to discover your own path and doesnt want what she has to influence your views or journey.. it could be that she feels there are things in there she wants to give you but it isnt the right time just yet.. the other thing could be is that maybe she wants a little something thats just hers.. not because she wants to deny you anything but because ppl like to have something thats is just theirs.thats why some ppl have journals/BOS etc.. just a thought.. Blessed Be ~Morrigan~

[mattolsen]

Its possible she purchased used books. It is also possible that she was just concerned you may have been getting involved in the religion for the wrong reasons. This box may represent the fact that she is satisfied you have made the right choice. The only real way to find out though is to ask her.

Blessed Be

[Draco Celtae]

I would deffinately ask her about it,...without sounding accusing or frustrated of course.
It was only a few years ago that Wicca was a huge fad in north america believe it or not. And many people you would never even guess, were "part of the hype."
Unfortunate but true.
Perhaps this is a case like that? Maybe she 'tried it on for size' years ago, but felt it wasnt right for whatever reason...and she sees that you are interested in the same thing, and worries that youll follow in her footsteps.
I know a fair number of parents who were "wiccan" at one point or another, and had bad experiences that taints thier view of the whole craft.

Thats my 2 cents.
I know I blather on too much, :P

[DebLipp]

You are naturally curious, and it is understandable. You violated her privacy; she has as much a right to privacy as you do. You did wrong and you owe her an apology.

The thing to do is to go to her, explain what you did and why, apologize, and then ask if you can please discuss why she had those things.

[Breathless Falcon]

DebLipp.... You are naturally curious, and it is understandable. You violated her privacy; she has as much a right to privacy as you do. You did wrong and you owe her an apology.

this is the best thread I've read. In a nice way start the conversation........ You might find out there is more to your family. :heybaby: Years ago my mother told me when I was 7-8 yrs old that my great-great grandmother was a witch and every so often she would bring it up again, sometimes years would pass. I have a great interest in herbs and found wicca on my own, but when my x hubby outed me to my mom & dad they were not shocked. They just said " be careful" and now when the time is right we talk about her ( my gggmother). I don't pry too much. I have learned that there is a BOS in the family, they called it her remedy or spell book. Maybe someday I can read it. :reading: The next time I go home I'm sure that my mom & I will talk again, My SO is also wiccan and I want to include him in "our family secret".

( depending on your age may be the reason your mother told you to stay out of the box. My daughter is 15 and I read every book before she does. And there are some things she is not ready for, spells, rituals, understanding and calling upon certain Gods & Goddesses, your mother may have a better understanding than she is given credit for. :muwaha: I've been around this all my life and there are areas that I respect and will not go there. )

Falcon