Questionnaire for Gender Study: Differences in the perceptions/experiences in Love

[Hope3645]

This is a questionnaire that my soc. of gender group and I came up with to help us understand gender differences in relation to love. We are going to use the results in our upcoming class presentation with will take the form of scholarly debate: sociobiology vs. structural functionalism. Sociobiology contends that men and women are different biologically, and that is why we experience Romanic love differently because of this. Structural Functionalism contends that men and women are socially programmed to be different. I am arguing for structural functionalism, and I believe that by exposing differences in age, religion, race, and most importantly (although don't think I'll get comparison with this study) national and regional culture I can "prove" that many of our differences are not universal and thus not biological. Everyone who participates will be anonymous. Feel free to gives more info if you feel in pertains to the subject. Also, feel free to argue any theory you want. If anyone knows any good statistics on or relating to the subject that would be very helpful. Thanks.

Survey:
1. Gender:
2. Age or age range:
3. Race:
4. Religion:
5. Country:
6. Ever been "in love"?
7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)?
8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)?
9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)?
10. If so, why?
11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself?
12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference?
13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why?
14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways?
Short answer: Briefly state why you answered #14 the way you did?

[Know Your Rights]

Survey:
1. Gender: Female
2. Age or age range: 19
3. Race: Caucasian
4. Religion: Pagan
5. Country: Canada
6. Ever been "in love"? No
7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)? No
8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)? N/A
9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)? No
10. If so, why? N/A
11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself? All of the above... I have liked guys younger than me, older than me, and the same age as me...
12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference? My typical age range is 17-20/21ish
13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why? I have no idea...
14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways? I think they do, on both accounts
Short answer: Briefly state why you answered #14 the way you did? Umm... I've seen girls fall harder faster than guys... I guess.... I dunno.

[Tsuchimaru]

1. Gender: male
2. Age or age range: 18
3. Race: Caucasian
4. Religion: Pagan?
5. Country: Canada
6. Ever been "in love"? Yes
7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)? No
8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)? N/A
9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)? No
10. If so, why? N/A
11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself? Either one
12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference? N/A
13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why? How the hell would I know? Lol...
14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways? Maybe?
Short answer: Briefly state why you answered #14 the way you did? N/A

[djmixon]

Survey:
1. Gender: Female

2. Age or age range: 38

3. Race: Caucasian

4. Religion: Christian (Mystic)

5. Country: US

6. Ever been "in love"? many times

7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)? married 3 times & 2 long term affairs (lta)

8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)? marriage 1 - 3 years; marriage 2 - 5 years; marriage 3 - 4 years + 5 years (extramarital affair during marriage 2); lta 1 - 2 years; lta 2 - 2 years

9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)? yes. . .marriage 1 & 2, and almost all the relationships I have ever been in

10. If so, why? usually because we grew apart or at different rates. . .no longer compatible - even though the sex was great

11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself? doesn't matter

12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference? hubby 1 - +12; hubby 2 - +4; hubby 3 - +1; lta1 - +10; lta2 - +8

13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why? marriage 1 - me, cuz of abuse during marriage and my idealistic bubble was burst; marriage 2 - him, cuz he found out I had been having an affair with my hubby3 during the entire marriage and he could not keep a job or support himself; lta1 - him, cuz I had a baby and he chose not to be a part of our lives but now 15 years later is 12-stepping and called me to talk cuz he was still broken up over it; lta2 - neither, cuz he was/is an ass

14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways? yes and yes

Short answer: Briefly state why you answered #14 the way you did? Men do not equate sex with love and women do (sometimes). Men are not verbal creatures usually, so communication about love and the emotional ties that go with it for women are not present (and usually cause trouble down the road). Men have a more "hands-off" philosophy of "If it a'int broke, don't fix it" where women have a more on-going evolutionary approach of constantly massaging the relationship into the "perfect" one. I could go on, but it boils down to - We don't speak the same language all the time.

[Sylvan]

Survey:
1. Gender:
Female

2. Age or age range:
28

3. Race:
Caucasian Mutt (Irish, English, French Canadian, Scottish, bit of Native American thrown in, and Polish by injection. ;) )

4. Religion:
Pagan

5. Country:
USA

6. Ever been "in love"?
Yep

7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)?
Twice.

8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)?
First marriage lasted almost two years before we were seperated (Divorce came several months later).
Second marriage is going strong at 5 years (nearly 8 that we've been together)

9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)?
Yes, see above

10. If so, why?
Numerous reasons. Mainly, I had unrealistic expectations of how married life would be. (He was also a jerkwad, but we won't be bitter here)

11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself?
Close to my age. If I was still on the dating scene, I probably wouldn't go for anyone older or younger than me by 5 years. My hubby is 3 years older than me.

12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference?
See above. I feel weird about dating someone who has solid memories of the year I was born. ("Gee, you were in third grade when I was born!")

13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why?
Depends on the relationship. With the Ex, the relationship had so totally eroded that I didn't have any emotional stake in it anymore, while he seemed to be hurt and wanting me back. In other relationships I've had, I've been the one hurt and pining for the guy.

14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways?
Yes to both

Short answer: Briefly state why you answered #14 the way you did?
Social conditioning, for the most part, I think. Men fall into *this* love stereotype, women fall into *that* love stereotype... It will be good when people can just feel their feelings the way they feel, and not the way society trains them to...

[Xentor]

Me:

1. Gender: Male
2. Age or age range: 31
3. Race: Caucasian
4. Religion: Pagan
5. Country: the Netherlands
6. Ever been "in love"? Yes.
7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)? Yes.
8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)? 6 months, 10 months
9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)? Yes.
10. If so, why? Once because of incompatibility, once because of lack of communication.
11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself? Younger.
12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference? Couple of years.
13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why? It depends. Once really hurt me badly, making me succesfully change my entire behaviour.
14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways? Yes.
Short answer: Briefly state why you answered #14 the way you did?
Women show their love by making their s.o. happy. Men show their love by being happy with what their s.o. did for them.

Kaylara:

1. Gender: Female
2. Age or age range: 23
3. Race: Caucasian
4. Religion: Wicca
5. Country: the U.S.A.
6. Ever been "in love"? Yes.
7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)? Yes.
8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)? 14 months, 4.5 years, 10 months
9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)? Yes.
10. If so, why? Once out of fear of commitment, once because of incompatibility.
11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself? Older.
12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference? Couple of years.
13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why? I don't know. Depends on the people involved.
14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways? Yes.
Short answer: Briefly state why you answered #14 the way you did?
Most guys go into a relationship looking for different things than girls do. Guys don't usually look for stability and future while girls do.

[misschief]

1. Gender:
female

2. Age or age range:
25- one of those 'twenty-somethings'

3. Race:
Caucasian mutt. i'm like 1/64 african, ... or something like that

4. Religion:
none (witch)

5. Country:
USA

6. Ever been "in love"
yes, but not in a conventional kind of way


7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)?
yep

8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)?
first two were less than one year, this one is past two years so far

9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)?
yes. many times

10. If so, why?
pretty much boils down to them not living up to my expectations

11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself?
uh, any of the above. i don't care much about age

12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference?
there isn't a usual age difference

13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why?
almost always them. i don't know why. i just don't get that emotional

14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways?
sometimes

Short answer: Briefly state why you answered #14 the way you did?
i dont think it has anything to do with gender

[soilsigh aingeal]

Survey:
1. Gender: Female
2. Age or age range: 23
3. Race: white
4. Religion: Mostly agnostic with a few People beliefs
5. Country:USA
6. Ever been "in love"? Yes
7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)? Long term
8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)? 5+ years.. on and off for the first
9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)? ended as I wasn't married
10. If so, why? he was abusive
11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself? He was the only person I've ever dated that was younger than me but before him I steered toward guys between my own age and just a few years older.
12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference? usually not more than 5 years
13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why? it depends on the circumstances
14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways?
I think each person has a different way of showing it, I've dated guys who showed affection the same way I did and I've dated guys who showed affection differently, I have dated guys who wanted to have mostly separate social lives but still showed affection, still did most things together, and even we each came around both "groups" of friends but most of the times, our friends were our friends, not each others. On the other hand, I dated someone who thought that we should both be up each other's butts because I've always had more guy friends than girl friends and I wasn't cool with that. IT all depends on the person, on the inside, it has nothing do do with sexual identity

[HorseCrow]

1. Gender: Female
2. Age or age range: 27
3. Race: caucasian
4. Religion: Pagan
5. Country: Denmark
6. Ever been "in love"? Yes.
7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)? Yes.
8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)? 3˝ years and still going strong
9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)? Yes.
10. If so, why? We grew apart.
11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself? Older.
12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference? 1- 5 years.
13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why? Until now, he has. Maybe because I have been the one doing the dumping.
14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways? I think women are more emotionl, hugging, kissing etc, where men are more action-wise, protecting, impressing. But men can be just as lovy-dovy as women.

[LittleRhiannon]

Survey:
1. Gender: Female
2. Age or age range: 15
3. Race: North/Western European
4. Religion: Irish Recon
5. Country: USA
6. Ever been "in love"?: I've loved someone
7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)? No
8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)? n/a
9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)? No
10. If so, why? n/a
11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself? Older, but it's more coincidence. Age isn't something I care much about.
12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference? a year or two
13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why? Them, because I tend to get over things fast and move on
14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways? I don't think it has anything to do with gender, PEOPLE as a whole have different ideas about love, and different ways of expressing it. The genders are not so different.You may find a man and woman who have very similar ideas/means of expressing love, and another man and woman who have similar ideas/means of expressing love with themselves, but be drastically different than the first couple.

[Black RiverWolf]

1. Gender: female

2. Age or age range: 23

3. Race: white mutt

4. Religion: Eclectic Wiccan

5. Country: US

6. Ever been "in love"? Yes

7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)? yes

8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)? My marriage last 9 mos my commited realtionship has now lasted 9 mos

9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)? yes

10. If so, why? My ex wanted different things. I wanted to do with my life than she wanted ie. go out with friends to the bars ands such she wanted to stay home. and she cheated.

11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself? Older or younger never the same age

12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference? I have gone as much as 8 years older and 3 years younger

13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? I did when my marriage ended she already had someone else. With my Ex BF i took it harder it was my first realationship ever. But in general i think sometime the female take it harder why? I have seen some fall very hard very fast then get all walked on and left.

14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? most definatly Do they show love in different ways? Yes my BF take the time to spend with me to hold and cuddle. My Ex GF wanted to do nothing of the sort but sleep.
Short answer: Briefly state why you answered #14 the way you did? That what she did. and that what he does.

[*Rain*]

Survey:

1. Gender:
Female

2. Age or age range:
25

3. Race:
White

4. Religion:
Pagan

5. Country:
UK

6. Ever been "in love"?
Yes

7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)?
Yes (engaged)

8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)?
Three and a half years

9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)?
Yes

10. If so, why?
Circumstances put us in different countries for over 2 years, so we split to make it easier for ourselves being apart. When we were back in the same country we had both changed so much we didn't feel we knew each other anymore and so didn't get back together.

11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself?
I prefer to stick to roughly my own age group

12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference?
I've dated someone 3 years younger and someone 4 years older.

13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why?
I can't speak for the guys but I had a really rough time of it when we broke off our engagement, even though it was amicable. I think girls tend to dwell on it longer and are more emotionally demonstrative about it. I'm sure the guys hurt too, they just don't show it the same.

14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways?
Yes. I think girls are brought up with a silly romanticised idea of love from fairy stories, they tend to be sat waiting for a hero. Girls tend to be more emotional in general so they do show how they feel in more demonstrative ways. Guys tend to be taught to bottle things up more.

Short answer: Briefly state why you answered #14 the way you did?
Society raises it's boys with different ideas to it's girls, this manifests itself in later life. The stereotypes about men and women still exist.

[SylverStar]

Survey:
1. Gender: Female
2. Age or age range: 23
3. Race: White
4. Religion: No Formal Religion
5. Country: USA
6. Ever been "in love"? Yes
7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)? No
8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)?
9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)?
10. If so, why?
11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself? Same Age
12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference?
13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why? Them, usually I'm the one that breaks things off. Usually leaving a relationship is freeing for me.
14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways? No...people show love the way know how to.
Short answer: Hmm, well I feel this way from personal experience...from my own relationships and from other peoples realationships. Most people think I have more of a masculine perception on love. I think this is an environmental factor...due to the fact that I was raised in a single parent household with no female figure.

[Karma Chameleon]

Survey:

1. Gender: Female
2. Age or age range: 19
3. Race: White
4. Religion: Pagan
5. Country: USA
6. Ever been "in love"? Yes
7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)? Yes. (Not married yet)
8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)? It hasn't ended yet.
9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)? Never been divorced. I have ended relationships (but none of the relationships were serious) that were just over the 'net. One (serious) relationship I ended but I reconciled. :bigblue:
10. If so, why? Because they weren't benefical to me. It'd be a waste of time to continue and a drain on me.
11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself? Older.
12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference? 10+ years.
13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why? The other person. Because I am the one that ends it.
14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways? No...
Short answer: Briefly state why you answered #14 the way you did?
I think people have different ideas about love and show love in different ways. I don't believe that men think one way or that women think another way. I don't believe that worldview or personality is dependant on one's given gender.

[SnowyMoon]

1. Gender: Female.
2. Age or age range: I am 31.
3. Race: Caucasion.
4. Religion: Eclectic Pagan, earth-based.
5. Country: The USA.
6. Ever been "in love"? Yes, a few times! :uhhuhuh:
7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)? Yes.
8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)? I have currently been married for nearly 15 years.
9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)? I have ended relationships and had them ended on me. :eyebrow: I never have been divorced, and I really believe I never will be.
10. If so, why? I don't think I will be divorced because I feel very secure in my marriage--my personality and my husbands mesh very well, and the relationship works.
11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself? My husband is 10 years old. I even perfer older friends, if that makes any difference. People my age or younger do not mesh with me as well.
12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference? For my husband as well as my closest friends, they are almost always 10 years older.
13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why? Me, I think--LOL, but that is relative. Most of the time I had no idea how the other party did, as I avoided them like the plague...LOL. :bigredblu I have had one close friendship die suddenly (only one with a girl my own age), and I think I am having the toughest time with it--mainly because she broke it off..but who knows? Maybe she had a tough time too. Never know.
14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways? Yes. I think so, for the most part, although there are always exceptions.

Short answer: Briefly state why you answered #14 the way you did? This could get deep. I will try to be short. Mainly cultural differences and society; I think religion and even more so the media has the biggest influence on this. People tend to "go along with the crowd." For most people, the "crowd" is either a TV set and/or their local church/spiritual group. Kids are directly and deeply influcenced by their parents and extended family, friends, TV and spiritual groups. People want to go along with the crowd for acceptance in socidety--who wants to be left out and/or ostracized? Being outcast makes it harder to find a mate. It is our nature (most of us) to try to fit in. REmove the cultural influences and free people to be themselves, and I think the lines that are in place now would blur quite a bit. Look at history! At one point, men were more romantic than they are today. In some cultures, women ruled! It is all what society presses upon us, IMO.

[Tanya]

This is a questionnaire that my soc. of gender group and I came up with to help us understand gender differences in relation to love. We are going to use the results in our upcoming class presentation with will take the form of scholarly debate: sociobiology vs. structural functionalism. Sociobiology contends that men and women are different biologically, and that is why we experience Romanic love differently because of this. Structural Functionalism contends that men and women are socially programmed to be different. I am arguing for structural functionalism, and I believe that by exposing differences in age, religion, race, and most importantly (although don't think I'll get comparison with this study) national and regional culture I can "prove" that many of our differences are not universal and thus not biological. Everyone who participates will be anonymous. Feel free to gives more info if you feel in pertains to the subject. Also, feel free to argue any theory you want. If anyone knows any good statistics on or relating to the subject that would be very helpful. Thanks.

Survey:
1. Gender:f
2. Age or age range:33
3. Race:mostly white
4. Religion:wicca
5. Country:usa
6. Ever been "in love"?yes
7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)?yes several long term relationships, 1 marriage

8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)?most of my lovers lasted a few years, the longest i kept one was six, now i've been married nearly 3 years and all looks good for the future

9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)?end a relationsip sure, divorced, never.

10. If so, why? A girl needs to know what she needs. If those needs aren't being met by her lover he/she either doesn't love her, or doesn't love her the way she needs lovin. If a girl discusses this repeatedly with the lover and no real change comes of it, then she better make a real change in herself and seek a relationship elsewhere. Because that person can't/won't do it, and staying will just make her bitterand sad.

11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself? I married an older man (16 years my senior). Before him my lovers were generally with in a year or two of my own age, both younger and older

12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference?1-2 years before my husband, I am 16 years younger than him
13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why?
The Leavee.. if your wanting me to say boy or girl here... i really can't.. i don't think it breaks on gender lines.. its on pride lines... no one likes to be left even if they are in their heart of hearts knowing its for the best.

14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways?

sure they do, and thats good. its a joke to think we are the same. men show love generally by giving security, and i think women generally show it by giving warmth and intimicy. That is to say.. there is something to the cliche about men giving the women presents, it shows he's thinking of her and has the $$ to help raise a child (speaking from an evolutionary biology perspective) women show love by giving of themselves, making their space together safe and warm.I believe this is all some what sublimated in our culture, i certainly don't want a man taking care of me, but i do like knowing if i got pregnant tomarrow, he could see us through that stressful event financially, when my ability to participate would be limited. and i think he likes comming home and just getting love and cookies and feeling safe after all day fighting with people. Now that men and women both bring home the bacon, they need to do more gender jumping, men have to make their women feel all loved and safe and protected at home and women need to show their man they can pull some financial weight.
the reason i remain married is because we do that. there was a question around about who wears the pants... i figure we work cause we trade the pants back and forth as well as the baby vomit rag...nothing else would work for me but being a full partner, but we need to be honest, that good partnerships bring different skills to the table. At the momment i'm the primary parent and he's the primary income earner.. in 6 months we plan to switch jobs, and i think that works for us as biological beings in the modern context.

Short answer: Briefly state why you answered #14 the way you did?
ummmm life is complicated, we are subject to our biology but we are also subject to our culture. we live in a world balancing the needs of the individual with the needs of the family/society/species and we need to use all our little monkey brains to walk that line of slef respect and self sacrifice. a true partner makes that balancing act easier by filling your needs and you filling thiers, and makes the whole effort easier.

[Restless Spirit]

Survey:
1. Gender:
2. Age or age range:
3. Race:
4. Religion:
5. Country:
6. Ever been "in love"?
7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)?
8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)?
9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)?
10. If so, why?
11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself?
12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference?
13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why?
14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways?
Short answer: Briefly state why you answered #14 the way you did?
Gender: Male
Age: 32
Race: White
Religion: None really; I believe in Deism in the truest sense
Country: U.S.

Ever been in love?-I have loved women, but not true love.

Married, long-term relationship?-Realtionships, yes; Never married, and don't really want to be, for now.

Likely to date older, younger, same age?-Same age or older

Age range?-If older it's flexible. If she's attractive to me it doesn't matter too much

Recovery from breakups-'Recovery' is the same when the people mutually breakup, but one has to overcome anger from unfair treatment and dirty deeds sometimes. A breakup can be a relief anyway.


Do men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love differently?- Yes, they do often times. Gender biology isn't absolute destiny or set in stone. Personality and behavior aren't dictated by gender, but it is a definite influencing factor with which one is born.. I feel a masculinity that wasn't taught to me or conditioned in me by anyone, it's just present in me, and I was only raised and taken care of by women, period. The difference I feel does affect how I perceive things and how I relate to people. There aren't absolute inborn differences between the genders, but there are natural inborn differences that can make love even better if some people wouldn't try to force the idea artificially that there are little to no differences.

[Miss Edith]

Survey:
1. Gender: Female
2. Age or age range: 16
3. Race: caucasian
4. Religion: pagan
5. Country: Scotland
6. Ever been "in love"? Nope
7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)? Nope
8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)? X
9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)? X
10. If so, why? X
11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself? Older
12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference? Between 1 - 3 years.
13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why? Them. Because in general I'm usually the one to leave a relationship as I have commitment issues, also I can bounce back from hurt and so on fairly easily. I'm a mope for a week, move on kinda gal.
14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways?
I don't think you show love depending on what your gender is. If I said that I think I'd be being a bit shallow, reducing it to stereotypes almost, like; a woman's love is needy or suchlike. I mean I think EVERYONE shows love in different ways. It depends more on your personality than your gender, ya know? :)

[Rhea Selene]

1. Gender:Female
2. Age or age range: 27
3. Race: Caucasian
4. Religion: Wiccan
5. Country: US
6. Ever been "in love"? Yes
7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)? I am currently Married
8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)? I have been with my Husband for 4 1/2 years, and we have been married since August 2003
9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)? I had one other long term relationship that I ended.
10. If so, why? I had met the guy when I was 17, and we were together for 4 years. The last year was rough. I realized that we grew apart. I was outgoing, and social, and he was anti social, and a homebody. Also, strangly I was talking marraige, and he wanted NOTHING to do with it. I broke it off when I was 21 years old.
11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself? Usually Older
12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference? Most of the Guys I dated were on average 2-4 years older than me. Except for my husband who is 8 years older than me.
13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why? It depends on the circumstances. There were times when i have had the toughest recovery because I wasn't ready for the relationship to end, and times when the guy has the toughest recovery, because THEY werent ready for it to end.
14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways? I do not think different ideas about love are gender specific. I beleive different people have different ideas about love. I also believe that showing love in different was is not related to gender, but to the indivisual person.
Short answer: Briefly state why you answered #14 the way you did? I answered #14 the way I did because people are too diverse to state that males and females fall into a neat category of "males feel such and such a way about love, and females feel such and such a way about love"


Neat Poll!
Blessings,
~Kelly

[GryphonGirl]

Survey:
1. Gender: Female
2. Age or age range: 45
3. Race: Caucasian
4. Religion: Raised as a Unitarian
5. Country: USA
6. Ever been "in love"? Yes
7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)? Yes
8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)? Longest one was 11 years
9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)? Yes
10. If so, why? Married too young, grew up and away....
11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself? Tried Older and Younger, neither worked....
12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference? Skip.
13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? The guy - why? Not sure.
14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Yes - Do they show love in different ways? Yes
Short answer: Briefly state why you answered #14 the way you did

I think men have a harder time accepting theirs and their partner's emotions, so break-ups seem more sudden to them. Women usually know for a little while before they make a change.

[BrigidMoon]

Survey:
1. Gender: Female

2. Age or age range:34

3. Race:Caucasian

4. Religion:Celtic Pagan

5. Country:USA

6. Ever been "in love"? Yes

7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)?Yes

8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)?4 years

9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)?Yes

10. If so, why?Abuse

11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself? I am with someone younger than myself.

12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference?5+ years oddly enough.

13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why? Depends on the circumstances.

14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways? Yes and yes.

Short answer: Briefly state why you answered #14 the way you did?

Well, men and women communicate differently therefore the ways in which love is shown differ. Understanding the ways in which our mates show love and love helps.

[shenanigans]

1. Gender:
Female

2. Age or age range:
31

3. Race:
Caucasian Mutt (English and Scottish)

4. Religion:
Pagan

5. Country:
USA

6. Ever been "in love"?
Yes

7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)?
been married twice

8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)?
My first marriage lasted 3 1/2 years before I sued him for a divorce.
My second marriage is going strong at 4 years

9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)?
Yes, see above

10. If so, why?
ex-husband was an abusive a**hole.

11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself?
I base my opinions more on maturity level than on age.

12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference?
plus or minus 2 years on average.

13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why?
No idea, I didn't bother to check in and see how they were doing.

14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways?
I don't think it's accurate to base something like that on gender.

Short answer: Briefly state why you answered #14 the way you did?
Because there's always the exception to the rule, and stereotyping like that is wrong.

[Brónach Druid]

1. Gender:Female
2. Age or age range:30something
3. Race:Caucasian
4. Religion: pagan
5. Country:USA
6. Ever been "in love"?yes
7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)?yes
8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)?18 years
9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)?no
10. If so, why?n/a
11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself? any
12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference?2 or 3 years either way
13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why?depends on the individual
14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different ways?Yes, to some degree.
Short answer: Briefly state why you answered #14 the way you did?In general I think it depends more on the individual personalities then on gender.

[xmezumiiru]

1. Gender: Female

2. Age or age range: 25 (almost 36 *ya me*)

3. Race: 1/2 Welsh 1/4 Polish 1/4 German

4. Religion: Old Kingdom Ancient Egyptian with wisdom teachings from Mikkyo

5. Country: USA

6. Ever been "in love"? Yes

7. Ever been married (or in a long-term, committed relationship)? 2 years committed (was engaged breifly)

8. If so, how long did it last (or has it lasted)? 2 years

9. Ever been divorced (or end relationship)? No

10. If so, why?

11. Are you more likely to date someone older, younger, or the same age as yourself? Past trends says younger

12. If in number 11 you choose older or younger, what is the usual age difference? past trend 1 year, but currently 3 years

13. After a relationship has ended, who has the toughest recovery? why? Me, because 2 of my 3 exs cheated

14. Do you think men and women have different ideas about love? Do they show love in different
ways? Men are more reserved, but both feel love deeply. I believe it is society.

Short answer: Briefly state why you answered #14 the way you did? The man I am with now is very emotionally reserved and after meeting his family, I understand why. They are the stereotypical 'men don't cry' and 'women are meant to be bearfoot and pregnant' people. Fortunately, he escaped that family and became a student of a very enlightened teacher who respected women and treats them fairly. He changed his treatment and opinion of women, but the some of the most ingraned habits are still there. If all things were equal, I beleive men and women would share love similarly. However, society forces us to be different.

[Hope3645]

Hey guys,
Thanks to eveyone who took the survey!! You helped my group a lot with the public opinion bit!!
Love and Blessings,
Kay