'Want vs. Need'

[Suzette]

Hello all,
Am new here, wasn't sure where to post this, but thought this section would be a good start. I posted this at another forum and didn't get any response. I don't know, it's not that I'm soliciting stuff, I guess I'd just like to hear others views on the subject... Well ~ if the feeling does move you, then you can participate below, LOL! Thanks all...

Ok.

I have a co-worker who was complaining about the following. Another co-worker (one of the assistants) was being very obvious about not having enough money to join others for lunch or worse, not having enough to cover her monthly expenses. Rents have gotten pretty high here in L.A., and she just got hers raised again. She dropped hints left and right about needing help. So, my other co-worker "gave" her some money, not alot, but enough to know the girl wouldn't be able to pay it back, so it wasn't considered a loan - but a gift from a friend.

So now, the girl is coming to work flashing a new cashmere sweater to everybody. "Look what I got!" And yesterday, it was something else new. Well, you can imagine how the girl who gave her the money feels... It's not like she had the right to tell her what to do with said gift, but sheesh ~ it's like a slap in the face and I totally can understand how she feels. How dare she go flaunting new purchases around!

This is where the 'Want vs. Need' comes in. I have no problem with someone asking for help when they truly need it. And it is somewhat our responsibility to give back to those who do have a need ~ when and how we can. But putting it out there for selfish reasons I believe, is one of the worse acts a person can do. I am seriously opposed to anything dishonest, and especially being Pagan ~ I am well aware of the consenquences it brings with it (as I'm sure all of you are).

Nothing will be said to this girl, but she is going to notice a seriously different atmosphere in the environment. She'll figure it out and her Karma will kick in.

That being said, I thought I'd share with you all some of the organizations I volunteer for. I am very active in all of them, except I have to admit I haven't had as much time as I would like to for duty at Pet Orphans, although I have them to thank for my little Bijou here!

I know things are tight with all of us, but if you could take a moment to click on each and if you find yourself with an extra $5 or $40, maybe try sending to places that do truly have a need...

The Mr. Holland's Opus Foundation -- Helps bring musical instruments to schools and underpriviledged kids. The "Today Show" has had everybody autograph a guitar that will be auctioned off for this org.
www.mhopus.com

Childhelp U.S.A. -- A wonderful organization that helps seriously abused kids. I am in the L.A. chapter/entertainment auxiliary of "Angel Pals."
www.childhelpusa.org

Pet Orphans Fund -- A great no-kill facility that rescues those on 'death-row' or from abusive/neglectful homes. Pretty much every city has one, donate to one near yours.
www.petorphansfund.org

I also volunteer for my neighborhood senior center and deliver Thanksgiving day meals to inbound seniors every year. They don't need donations, but are always ready for more young people such as ourselves to volunteer to visit those seniors who are no longer mobile.

However you decide to give, I hope everybody has a happy Yule and holiday season!

[stephy-sama]

My mom has a habit of spending over $100 on DVD's and then going hungry the next week... and not connecting the two. She doesn't get the wants vs. needs thing either. It's sad really and I wish I could help her. Here I am away at college. I'm getting fed and I have a roof over my head while she's at home hungry... but she just doesn't connect that, while of course entertainments is needed to keep somebody from going mad, food and rent comes first! *sigh* I wish I could help her more...

[Suzette]

Hmmm. Well that sounds to me like a personal decision ~ which I'm sure we've all done and I know I have. I've had times where I've juggled "new silk dress = week of salad and mac n cheese."

My point was not of a personal choice, but going after people and 'begging' if you will. Complaining that you have so many problems, etc, to the outside world ~ to gain financial benefit for yourself... Then turning around and showing off the "fruits of your rewards." Want vs. need..... In that we all "want," but there are some that will resort to advertising "need" to serve their selfish desires.

Heck, I play the financial shuffle all the time... But it's MY financial shuffle and I never ask for help from anyone :) I know my friend at work does so as well, which is why I relate to her on this issue.

[Mouse]

your friend at work got ripped, and thats sad because there aren't many nice people left in the world. *hugs for her*

I'd donate to some of those people if i were able, but that for me is a "want" vs. my "need" to eat.. That and i'm still trying to collect socks for the homeless.

[Romani Vixen]

We need food. But some people may feel that they need mcdonalds.

I don't have a problem with asking for help if you want something, given that you've thought about it, aren't trying to use people, and be honest.

I don't think that this particular person was honest. It was most certainly mis-represented. I wouldn't give her any more money though! Perhaps a food basket, but that would be the most.

[kissesree]

My mom has a habit of spending over $100 on DVD's and then going hungry the next week... and not connecting the two. She doesn't get the wants vs. needs thing either. It's sad really and I wish I could help her. Here I am away at college. I'm getting fed and I have a roof over my head while she's at home hungry... but she just doesn't connect that, while of course entertainments is needed to keep somebody from going mad, food and rent comes first! *sigh* I wish I could help her more...Diddo, but replace mom with hubbie...:wtf:

[lil_suzie]

Aww I feel bad for the woman, maybe she needed to treat herself to something nice for
a change, instead of using the money to just scrape by for another month she
needed to be able to pretend for a little while that she doesn't really
NEED anything and that she could afford to do the things that other people
do... maybe your friend needed the woman to need the money more than
the woman wanted to need it?

[Suzette]

Thanks for the replies :)

Hey Lil Suzie! My our names are similar...

"maybe your friend needed the woman to need the money more than
the woman wanted to need it?"

Now my feeling is that's stretching it out of the ballpark...LOL. And do whatever with money you've EARNED. That's fine, but if you're going to beg from others than no. I remember a homeless person who lived in a box behind a store I worked at. It was cold and raining, and she was sticking half-way out of this box and was barefooted. We felt really bad for her and gave her $30 and told her to go across the street to buy some shoes and socks and something to eat.

The next morning when we opened shop, there she was shivering and barefooted, but with a couple new packs of cigarettes and a bottle of booze! WOO HOO! So, we learned our lesson, went across the street, bought her some sneakers, socks and something to eat and gave that to her instead of $$.

I certainly do not want to accuse the homeless woman as being selfish, she probably doesn't know any better - but the girl we work with? Now she definitely knows better ~ and is definitely selfish with a capital S. It's s'ok though cause it'll come back to her!

[zakzekezedd]

My Dad was always very adamant about Want vs Need.....he spent a lot of time telling me I had to learn the difference between wanting and needing. Some people never do get the "point". I may not always make the most responsible choices when it comes to money, but I definitely do understand that if I spend $100 on DVDs or new shoes, I'd better be ready to eat peanut butter sandwiches until next payday. I have a coworker who is constantly moaning about her money woes, but she still manages to have the money for cell phones and to eat out all the time. I personally wouldn't make a big deal about money problems at work because if there is a money problem or shrinkage problem someone will eventually connect the dots (especially if it happens on your shifts)..whether you took anything or not, being the subject of a loss prevention inquiry isn't pleasant.

[Suzette]

Well stealing is certainly a whole new can o worms... We don't deal with cash so there's no worry about shrinkage!

[zakzekezedd]

HaHa..it always amazes me how people who are constantly moaning and making a big fuss about their money situation, or spending way beyond their means are so astounded when they are the first ones hauled in for interviews in a loss prevention (internal theft) investigation. Another example of not quite connecting the dots.

[Ravyn Sylverwyng]

My Dad was always very adamant about Want vs Need.....he spent a lot of time telling me I had to learn the difference between wanting and needing. Some people never do get the "point".


My father also taught us the difference in the meaning of the two words. And, if he hadn't have driven that sentiment in to my head so well, my husband did. At our house, we have a very select way of dealing with things. The first thing that happens is that our bills are paid. There is no getting out of it. Since I am the person that handles this, if one bill goes unpaid due to forgetting, misplacement, or even thinking that I can catch it up next month, there will be heck to pay around here. Then next thing that happens is that groceries are bought for the next week. Then everything else that is needed in the household is gotten. If we can't afford to buy something for the house the following week, then we will have to wait.

I never borrow money from anyone for something that is wanted. If I want it, then I will save the money, even if it is only a few dollars a week to do it. I don't moan to someone about our financial situation. It is just wrong in my opinion. What is the point? I feel that these people are just trying to make you feel bad that you are able to budget your income to get the things that you have. And, I should know. I get a lot of flack from people that we are able to afford the things that we do because we watch what we spend our money on. If I had a nickle for everytime that I had to hear someone say, "If I could afford to buy ________ like you do, then I would have it made." I may not have it made, but I certainly know how to spend and still make my ends meet.

Perhaps the woman should have really thought about it before she gave her so much money. I know that I would have been cautious (sp?) as to how I did it. But, then again, I'm not one to be talking when I am constantly buying things for other people. It is a fault of mine.

[Suzette]

Yes Ravyn, that's how I do things as well. I have my monthly budget of bills and whatever's left is what I live on and that's that.

Hi all... Not meaning to bump my thread, but wanted to give an update of sorts.

This past Sunday was the Childhelp holiday party at the Beaumont, CA. facility. And our group (the entertainment industry auxiliary) was there to participate with the 102 kids who are at the facility. I am very happy to announce I have a new little boy that I will be sponsoring as his "Angel Pal." We were subjected to their holiday pageant (which was unintentionally hysterical), along with many other touching moments, including a Marine who was once a child there and led the Pledge of Allegiance at the last holday party and was killed in action in Iraq. A very sad moment...

But the good news is all the children at the facility had a "Pal" to bring them gifts and celebrate the season. And now, our next outing will be Disneyland next month! And my darling little new Pal has agreed to do nothing but ride the Haunted Mansion and Pirates of the Caribbean with me ALLLLLL DAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! Well, we'll see :)

Anyway, hope this inspires some of you all to volunteer for a worthy cause in your area!!!! Happy Holidays!

[Djiril]

I have a co-worker who was complaining about the following. Another co-worker (one of the assistants) was being very obvious about not having enough money to join others for lunch or worse, not having enough to cover her monthly expenses. Rents have gotten pretty high here in L.A., and she just got hers raised again. She dropped hints left and right about needing help. So, my other co-worker "gave" her some money, not alot, but enough to know the girl wouldn't be able to pay it back, so it wasn't considered a loan - but a gift from a friend.

So now, the girl is coming to work flashing a new cashmere sweater to everybody. "Look what I got!" And yesterday, it was something else new. Well, you can imagine how the girl who gave her the money feels... It's not like she had the right to tell her what to do with said gift, but sheesh ~ it's like a slap in the face and I totally can understand how she feels. How dare she go flaunting new purchases around!

I saw a "Frasier" episode once where something like that happened, and it turned out that the character's fancy new things had been a gift from someone else. Not that I really think this is what happened in this situation, but sometimes it's best not to jump to conclusions.