Medi
September 10th, 2001, 07:23 PM
Hello everyone :)
I sort of stumbled across this site accidentally, and I'm hoping maybe even just one person here can be of some help ... be warned, I'm about to tell a long and boring story about me.
I know absolutely nothing about pagan religions/traditions/what have you. Nothing of value, anyway- not at all. This is almost certainly entirely my fault, because it's been in the back of my mind for about three years now; you'd think I would've learned -something- in three years...
I'm a freshman in college. I started buying books my sophomore year of high school- just picked up a random book off of a shelf and bought it, on impulse. It turned out to not be the greatest book and I lost interest; I bought another book, which turned out to be not what I was looking for either, and lost interest again ... I picked up Drawing Down the Moon sometime during my junior year, which was interesting but not anything that really educated me. About a year ago or so I bought Phyllis Curott's book. I started to get discouraged right around the point when she began talking about strange experiences that lead her to her path, and stopped reading right there. (I've had no such experiences!) A few months later I bought a Scott Cunningham book, which has probably proved more useful than anything else- but I started getting discouraged as I read that too, and stopped a short way in.
I have read about people having psychic experiences that drive them to a particular pagan tradition; I have read almost too much about people feeling like they've "come home". And I'm confused. Sometimes it's seemed as though these are required things, tokens of membership in an exclusive club, something inaccessible to me. I don't know where my own religious beliefs lie. I was raised Christian, and I spent a year after leaving that behind just ignoring religion altogether. Sophomore year, as I said above, I bought a book on impulse and for three years since then I've been returning to the search for information on pagan traditions at different times. I ended up here because it's a beautiful day outside and I spent an hour just sitting out there in the sun on the grass, feeling like something was lacking ... and I wandered into my dorm room and started running around the internet looking for something useful, and one thing lead to another and I stumbled across this site.
I'm rambling, which is probably a bad thing to do in front of complete strangers. And considering the amount of information I've had available to me, none of you are probably all that interested in my problem. But ...!
If anyone can offer me any help at all, I would really appreciate it. I'm not even sure what kind of help I'm looking for, myself. Perhaps just a little guidance. Anything at all.
I sort of stumbled across this site accidentally, and I'm hoping maybe even just one person here can be of some help ... be warned, I'm about to tell a long and boring story about me.
I know absolutely nothing about pagan religions/traditions/what have you. Nothing of value, anyway- not at all. This is almost certainly entirely my fault, because it's been in the back of my mind for about three years now; you'd think I would've learned -something- in three years...
I'm a freshman in college. I started buying books my sophomore year of high school- just picked up a random book off of a shelf and bought it, on impulse. It turned out to not be the greatest book and I lost interest; I bought another book, which turned out to be not what I was looking for either, and lost interest again ... I picked up Drawing Down the Moon sometime during my junior year, which was interesting but not anything that really educated me. About a year ago or so I bought Phyllis Curott's book. I started to get discouraged right around the point when she began talking about strange experiences that lead her to her path, and stopped reading right there. (I've had no such experiences!) A few months later I bought a Scott Cunningham book, which has probably proved more useful than anything else- but I started getting discouraged as I read that too, and stopped a short way in.
I have read about people having psychic experiences that drive them to a particular pagan tradition; I have read almost too much about people feeling like they've "come home". And I'm confused. Sometimes it's seemed as though these are required things, tokens of membership in an exclusive club, something inaccessible to me. I don't know where my own religious beliefs lie. I was raised Christian, and I spent a year after leaving that behind just ignoring religion altogether. Sophomore year, as I said above, I bought a book on impulse and for three years since then I've been returning to the search for information on pagan traditions at different times. I ended up here because it's a beautiful day outside and I spent an hour just sitting out there in the sun on the grass, feeling like something was lacking ... and I wandered into my dorm room and started running around the internet looking for something useful, and one thing lead to another and I stumbled across this site.
I'm rambling, which is probably a bad thing to do in front of complete strangers. And considering the amount of information I've had available to me, none of you are probably all that interested in my problem. But ...!
If anyone can offer me any help at all, I would really appreciate it. I'm not even sure what kind of help I'm looking for, myself. Perhaps just a little guidance. Anything at all.