Illegal for parents to listen to their kids phone calls.

[Shanti]

Ok privacy for kids in one thing but to actually make it illegal to listen to your kids phone calls..period.
Now with the Columbine stuff and other major incidents in our nation because of messed up kids, the one thing that society yells is...Parents must be responsible for their kids!!! Now if you have a kid that your suspicious of criminal or harmful activity...listening in on a phone call may be the only way for a parent to find out whats going on.
Even the best parents can have a kid go bad. Parents are responsible till kids are 18 but parents, I feel are loosing their rights to be parents.
Now I know that my view is not popular but having raised 3 kids to adulthood and 2 more left, I want my rights to spy on my kids if I feel their is something going on that they dont want to admit to.
Like I said the best parents can have a kid go bad or have major self harming probs and the best kid can turn bad or have major self harming probs.
I love my kids and I am responsible for them. I would never want something to happen and be a parent that says.."I didnt know what little Johnny or Susie was doing".

Oh heres the article that talks about Washington state making it illegal to listen to kids phone calls and the kid that committed a crime he was hiding. Link (http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/aplocal_story.asp?category=6420&slug=WA%20SCOW%20Parental%20Snooping)

[BrigidMoon]

This type of thing I think developed because divorced parents cannot co-parent very well for the most part. Do all of them fight and struggle? No, some divorced parents can co-parent just fine. However, since I cannot seem to co-parent with my ex very well, then, I had to go to court for modification of custody ---- they were very clear that they did not listen in on her conversations... The judge questioned them herself. I guess it's a very big deal in these types of circumstances....

[Shanti]

But none of this is about co-parenting.
Its about not allowing parents to listen in on their own kids phone calls even if it is to catch potential illegal or harmful activity.

[Yvonne Belisle]

I agree with you Shanti we need to keep our rights to take whatever action we deem nessisary within reason to keep our kids in check. I don't think we should be alowed to beat them but corperal punishment if needed and spying on them yes. If I think my kid is doing something they shouldn't you can bet I am going to search their rooms and eavesdrop on them. I will do whatever I deem needed to keep them safe.

[lil_suzie]

..."I didnt know what little Johnny or Susie was doing".

:gasp: I ain't done anything, realy I'm a good girl! LOL
But what about kids diaries, I've been keeping diaries since I was 7
and I would just DIE if my dad read them becuase he thought I might be
doing somthing bad, even though I haven't theres alot of just
well VERY PERSONAL stuff in there and though I love my dad it's just
none of his business! I mean we're realy close anyways so if theres somthing
he wants to know he just asks but I'd feel realy strange about
him reading my diaries to be sure.

[Mindflayer]

Personally, I feel that if it got to the point where I had to SPY on my kids, I haven't done my job as a parent...

but, that's because I plan to raise them in a COMPLETELY honest relationship, I can't think of a single thing they could tell me that i would freak out about (I'm talking about general teenage stuff, nothing majorly serious like murder)

If my (future)kids feel the need to HIDE something from me, then I personally will feel that I have failed... do i expect them to tell me everything? no, there ARE some thing that are just none of my bussiness, but to go out of their way to hide things from me is a different matter...

[LittleRhiannon]

Would you want them spying on you, rooting through your room?

I can understand it if they've done something to make you distrust them, or you think they may be doing something, but just because you feel like it? I find it a little disgusting.

I've never been given privacy from my parents, but I am still a private person. The result is that I don't keep journals, I delete all emails after I read them, and I don't ever use the phone. My parents use the information they find to tease me and make me miserable. I haven't done anything to make them distrust me, but I sure as Hell don't trust them anymore.

Kids are people too. Even if you don't think they have rights, if they haven't done anything wrong then I think you should consider what they'll think of you in the long run. I have such a bad relationship with mine that after I finish college (which I'm paying for myself) I'm leaving I don't plan on keeping in contact.

[lil_suzie]

Mindflayer, that's exactly how me and my daddy are! We can and do talk about anything, we have a no-fault policy where we share each others problems and help each other thru them. I realy hope you still feel this way when your older and have kids because it's realy a good way to go, but you have to remember that it goes both ways which means you have to be totaly honest with them too which isn't always as easy as it sounds!

[Gwenhwyfar]

Thats ok, here there trying to make it illegal to tell your kids who they can/cant hang out with, or go through their room snooping....its bullshit, Im sick of hearing about child rights, when your having a hell of a time with your young teen who's to tell you how to deal with it, if I want to ground my kid, my choice, go through his stuff, my choice, tell him no he cant hang out with that crack dealer from down the road, MY CHOICE. Its a touchy subject with me right now, I could rant for hours.

[LacyRoze]

Lock me up and throw away the key because if I suspect my teen of wrong doing I'm going to do whatever it takes to get to the truth. Face it,,, any teen, no matter how well they were raised can get into trouble. It's my job as a parent to nip it in the bud by any means necessary.

[Hærfest Leah]

Personally, I feel that if it got to the point where I had to SPY on my kids, I haven't done my job as a parent...

but, that's because I plan to raise them in a COMPLETELY honest relationship, I can't think of a single thing they could tell me that i would freak out about (I'm talking about general teenage stuff, nothing majorly serious like murder)

If my (future)kids feel the need to HIDE something from me, then I personally will feel that I have failed... do i expect them to tell me everything? no, there ARE some thing that are just none of my bussiness, but to go out of their way to hide things from me is a different matter...

I agree here and I would like to add on to the .....at the end. ......but if they make it to where I have to then I will do what it takes. I also agree with Gwenhwyfar, I will ground my kids if I want and no one will stop me from telling them who they can associate with. Kids have no rights other than not being abused and should be given a wonderful loving home until they are mature anough to act like a responsible individual.

[Temptation]

Like Mindflayer said if I ever feel like I have to spy on my daughter to find out what she's been up to, then I have failed as a parent.

Communication is the key. The teenage years are the most difficult, no matter how easy childhood was. All of a sudden they become uncommunicatve and secretive, it's natural, they need to go through that stage to develop properly.
If I can manage to keep the communication and the respect to the levels they are now (she's 10 years old, but sometimes acts like she's 14 :holycow: ) I think we'll ride the bumpy teenage years and come out with minor bruises at the end.
Talk to your kids and give them all the respect you can and, hopefully, they will return the favor. :)

[Storm]

Whether you agree with spying on your kids or not I think the law has no business here. The law is too damned involved in our personal lives.

[banondraig]

Whether you agree with spying on your kids or not I think the law has no business here. The law is too damned involved in our personal lives.

couldn't have said it better myself.

[ObsidianSunrise]

My parents were opposites in their parenting styles. My Mom was the spanker, grounder, snooper, the one who said 'you absolutely will NOT be friends with THAT person' with no reason other than she didn't like them. My Dad actually took the time to talk to me, explain on my level what I did wrong and why I was being punished, said I deserved my privacy unless it was proven there was a need for him to have to go through my room (he never did) and why he didn't like a certain person but was willing to meet them before condemning them. I decided when I had my first child that my fathers' style was a lot more effective and went that way myself. In fact I got pregnant with my daughter when I was a senior in high school (Iwas 18) and my dad was the one I went to.

I guess I was a fairly successful parent because I have too well adjusted grown children now that never really gave their dad or me any problems. I was always open and honest with them and we can talk about anything. My son who is 18 calls me for my advice or opinion all the time. Of course there was the awkward early teenage years but they always knew they could talk to me and I would be fair and open minded. So communication is the key, definately!

As to whether the government should have the right to tell me how to raise my kids or what I can or cannot do, I feel they should stay out of it. They are not the ones doing the actual raising and they damn sure won't take the responsibility if the kids do wrong. The DHS in Oklahoma was really doing a number on the effectiveness of parenting when my kids were small. They would come into the schools starting with kindergarten and tell the kids if Mommy or Daddy touches you or raises their voice, it is abuse and you should tell your teacher or a policeman. Hehehe, 16 years later, they were singing a different tune as their system was being overrun with problem children that parents couldn't do anything with. Imagine the uproar the day the article hit the papers by the OK DHS saying that a swat to the buttocks with an open palm that didn't leave a mark was appropriate!

I actually advised a woman one time to call the DHS to come get her 14 year old child that had been picked up for the fourth time for truancy and possesssion. This child if punished would go to the police and scream abuse. Made the poor mothers' life a living hell. I told her that the DHS said she couldn't spank the child, couldn't raise her voice and that grounding to her room wasn't appropriate, so the DHS should have to take care of the child. So that is what she did. And trust me, the DHS was backing up and sputtering about it.

Yes, the subject of the government telling me how to raise my kids and what I can or cannot do gets me going. The government needs to be willing to accept the responsibilty of kids gone wrong if they want to take all control away from parents. I have two step-daughters now and am seeing the end result of the CPS involvement in their lives. It is really hard when I tell them they need to calm down and quit tearing up the furniture when they stand up to me and say their case worker says I am not their mama and I can't tell them what to do. And they do the same thing to thier mama too. I am trying really hard to get through to them using the technique I used with my kids but I think it maybe too late. What I would really like to do is meet this case worker and give her a piece of my mind or two!

Ok, stepping down now from my soapbox and going quietly back to my corner...

[eryneselene]

I have three children, one adult and two teenagers. As long as my teenagers are still in my home, they are in MY domain. I pay the bills here and make the rules. They are minors, and if I think they are up to no good, I will do whatever I have to to find out as much as I can about it. I have not personally had problems like this because my kids always answer my questions truthfully (as far as I know). I think the government is going too far by telling us that we can't listen to our childrens phone calls while they are minors and living at home. I think it is a double standard because if children break a law, we can be held responsible for it, but the courts make a ruling like this that makes it hard for us to know what our children are up to. If they want us to be responsible for our childrens actions, they need to support us in our parenting, this includes monitoring our children.
This is just my opinion.
Blessings,
Eryne Selene

[Yvonne Belisle]

Those same people ranting about kids privacy will be the first ones blaming the parent when things go wrong saying they should have known. They need to back off and let us parent.

[Pandoras]

It's a very fine line. I don't think spying on the kids is a good idea because it generates an atmosphere of distrust as does things like reading their diaries. Children do have a right to some privacy, but that privacy is not absolute and those rights don't supercede safety and a parent's right and responsibility to be informed.