Minor Rant.....

[DragonFriend]

..............................MEN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!! (Present company excepted of course...)

Currently my fella is being a total pain, I started a new job 6 months ago, which I might add I enjoy thoroughly - dont get me wrong its a tough one but I like it.

Anyway he hates his job - but I try to be supportive and encourage him to look for something else. Ive joined a gym and Im working hard on improving my figure ( for my own peace of mind - lots of nasties like heart attacks and diabetes run in our family). So basically I spend a few hours every other night in the gym and I dont finish a half day on Friday like he does. Then Ive to get a bus home which means Im not in until about 5:30pm.

SOOOO last night I get a major lecture about how he feels "unappreciated" and does "far more than his share of the chores!" I get sulked at, told Im "lazy" and "I dont care about the housework". Where am I when he is doing the chores or walking the dogs???? Either at work or at the gym. Then he starts going on about divorce and apparently its all my fault - result - another lousy nights sleep and Im all sore and rattled this morning - totally out of kilter at the start of the day.

Now I dont spend cash on myself - its been almost 2 years since I bought anything new - my latest pairs of jeans are from charity shops. I work damn hard - Ive clawed my way back up to a decent salary - its only taken 13 years - he has a house full of expensive toys - bikes, cameras climbing gear etc etc he has always been able to do what ever he wants - Im not clingy or a whiner. I cook a meal every night no matter how shattered I am, Ive pulled moves with money that even I dont understand how I get away with to keep our heads above water over the years.

Sum of my own wordly possessions - a mini disc player, a few bits of jewellry, my beloved dogs, a few personal bits - teddy bears etc and my books.

Im not upset or anything - more angry and more than a little bit confused....

What gets into them??? Im not even going to try to guess, I really need the opinion of someone older and wiser than me to understand this one....?

Going to go off and try to get on with my day......


DF

[claxon]

What gets into them???

Oh Oh! I know this one!!


:abanana: Laziness! :abanana:


A brief analysis of a few term with translation:

"unappreciated" : This is a hint that he wants something but is a non-standard term (it's exact meaning is different for each guy)

"far more than his share of the chores!" : He wants to clean up less (fairly obvious). The thing to notice is what's missing. Consider the difference between saying that and saying: "far more than his fair share of the chores!". Subtle, but easy to spot if you know what to look for.

"I dont care about the housework" : Again a sign of him not wanting to put effort into cleaning, and have you do it instead. (see also "Woman, Make me my food.")

"Where am I when he is doing the chores or walking the dogs" : Yet again we see the implication that he would rather not do these things, with specific note to the 'messy jobs'.


I therefore recommend that either:
a) You give in and do all the woman's jobs around the house.
b) You experiment with methods to make the cleaning/chores less required (eg. Use disposable cutlery to save effort cleaning them)
c) Threaten to sell his body parts on the black market

Thankyou to all our listeners for tuning in, and now we return you to your regular broadcast.

_handclapp _handclapp _handclapp

Disclaimer: The above text should not be taken as reliable / sane advice and any damage cause to persons or property due it it's impropper usage is soley the responsibility of the reader

[WynterWynd]

you forgot to add in petty jealousy. You have said that he hates his job and that you love yours. I'm sure on some level that annoys the hell out of him. And the time you spend at the gym improving your physical health, he may see as a threat to his stable relationship (ie. you'll feel better, look better ((to other men)) He may see this as a threat to his teritorry (you)
It seems that whole convo revolved around him.....which is where he wants to see all your attention directed....like he thinks it should be.

(Don't send me hate mail MW men, I've been thru an X just like this)

6 moths ago, you rattled his worl by showing him you can get and maintain a job, your health, the house, the bills and the pups.....you have have shaken his man=breadwinner wife=housemouse ideal.

I'm not going to claim to know how to 'fix him' either, since this scenerio of I,Me,Mine is going on from his side of the marrige. To me, he is having a 'spoiled brat' moment and wants to be assured that he still has you to do all his whims/wishes/bidding. Somehow, you need to get it thru his head (may I suggest a hammer:devil: ) that you are still 'the little woman' but you now have a job and other things you would also like to do beside be at his beck and call.
You going to have to find a way to calmly talk to him and get past all the accusations he's throwing at you (the unappreciated stuff) .......or sell his body parts on the black market:smoke:

Good Luck!

....like I said guys.....don't hate me:nyah:

[Little Willow]

I admit to doing more than my fair share of winging to my other half ... and sometimes I come home all angry and have a go at the poor luv ... knowing full well that it's totally unfair of me to do so, but it needs to come out and you say the stupidest of things and feel really sorry about it but it doesn't negate the fact that you've said them in the first place. Luckily he ignores these little tirades ... but then he has them too and also they're not that often. Us humans are funny creatures though. Do you think it is indeed jealousy as VroomBroom has suggested or is one of those people who hate changes in routine. Like you going down the gym. Does he realise the reason you're going down the gym is to keep you fit and healthy. How about he joins up too and you go together. Making chores seem less chore-like could help. You could also do the housework together. One vaccuums, the other polishes. You could have the music on really loud and dance around to it while you clean. Sounds daft, but a bit of daftness may be all that is needed.

[DragonFriend]

) Threaten to sell his body parts on the black market



..................excellent idea!!!!

Never thought of that one before!

(Any idea what the going rate is?)


Thanks you folks - you always cheer me up.

Blessings
DF

[wakywitch]

I agree with all above,
but also, he may be feeling left out.
Try to get him to cultivate his own hobbies.
Invite him to the gym with you.

[LadyTrinity]

I don't know what's wrong with men..
One time my ex complained that I used too much dish soap on the sponge and it should be the size of a dime and thats all I need for a sink full.. well I turned around and said well at least im doing them and u get to play your video games so stop complaining. And he had the nerve to tell me..

Yeah you cook .. so what? I buy the food!
Yeah you do laundry... so what? Guess who buys the laundry soap.
Yeah you make my lunch for work.. so what? who buys the lunch meats
Yeah you clean.. so what? Who works 8 hours a day and shouldnt have to come home and clean... mean while I was working part time 6-7 hours and raising a child and he did nothing! :collapse: