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MorningDove030202
December 15th, 2004, 09:34 PM
Now that my son is a toddler who understand that mommy doesn't have a penis, I'm wondering for how much longer will it be "OK" to be nude around my son? Now I'm not the type to go skyclad around my house all day (or is that houseclad?) but occationaly he see me going in and out of the shower. Everyone in the house uses the bathroom with the door open unless people are visiting. I also will run to the laundry room undressed looking for something clean in the dryer. I don't want him to think there is something shameful about our bodies, but at the same time I'd like to teach him about privacy for others. Any opinions or advice?

Dove

BrigidMoon
December 15th, 2004, 10:00 PM
Around 4 - 5 years old, start teaching privacy. Around 5 years old he probably won't want to see you naked either. Does that help? I had the same deal with my daughter too. I was raised to be proud of our bodies and being naked isn't a big deal.

MorningDove030202
December 15th, 2004, 10:47 PM
Ok, cool. I was wondering when the "I don't want to see you naked" thing would kick in.... If I don't have to worry about it until he's 5 then I won't worry about it now! LOL
Dove

~*Ginger*~
December 15th, 2004, 10:49 PM
Now that my son is a toddler who understand that mommy doesn't have a penis, I'm wondering for how much longer will it be "OK" to be nude around my son? Now I'm not the type to go skyclad around my house all day (or is that houseclad?) but occationaly he see me going in and out of the shower. Everyone in the house uses the bathroom with the door open unless people are visiting. I also will run to the laundry room undressed looking for something clean in the dryer. I don't want him to think there is something shameful about our bodies, but at the same time I'd like to teach him about privacy for others. Any opinions or advice?

Dove
Actually what you describe here sounds like normal every day life to me.
*shrugs*

Ceres
December 16th, 2004, 08:53 AM
i am with flora lol most ppl i know live pretty much like that too. now that my older two are 8 and 11, they give me all the privacy i want because they dont want to see me on the toilet or stepping out of the shower by accident. my four year old doesnt really care and so will interrupt my bathroom time without warning in order to tell me what spongebob just said or that the cat wants in. now at least i know someday i will have privacy again ;)

Aleigh
December 16th, 2004, 09:51 AM
My oldest is 4.5 and I have been gradually trying to teach him to give me more privacy. I will rush to change clothes or whatever when he's not looking, whereas I didn't think twice about it when he was younger. But if he does happen to walk in on me, I don't make a big deal out of it, because he's been seeing me naked for 4.5 years now so what's one more time going to hurt? Unless that ends up being the time that scars him for life. ;) :lol: I just turn my back on him now if he walks in while I'm changing. I don't like to lock my kids out of the bathroom or bedroom because I want them to be able to get to me if they need me, but I don't run around the house naked anymore (like if I need to go to the laundry room looking for clothes). I throw on a robe first. :p I try not to be too uptight about it, but make some effort to cover up in front of him now. I figure bra and panties at least is safe, because he sees me outside in my bathing suit all summer, right? :lol:

MorningDove030202
December 16th, 2004, 09:54 AM
I duno, I think I would like to always have the freedom to run around my house naked looking for clothes without worrying what the family will think...but I doubt this will be reality.

Dove

Sasha318
December 16th, 2004, 10:47 AM
Follow his cues. He'll let you know when he's uncomfortable.

LacyRoze
December 16th, 2004, 01:12 PM
Our house is very open, we don't believe in locking doors to our children. Around 5 my son discovered modesty and no longer wanted me in the bathroom while he bathed. He also no longer walked in on me when I was showering. My oldest daughter who will be 5 in Feb is now showing signs of modesty as well. When i run her bath, once she's in the tub, she asks me to please leave. She's also better about not walking in on me unless she's really excited over something. As for running to the dryer for clothes,,, hey,, it happens,,, no biggie. I'll usually yell for everyone to cover their eyes but sometimes I forget,,lol

Raven Reed
December 16th, 2004, 01:21 PM
Follow his cues. He'll let you know when he's uncomfortable.

We don't have any real nudity taboos at my house, HOWEVER...

I think that is the best answer. My oldest started wanting his own privacy about 10. So did I. We got mutually uncomfortable because he started puberty.

My youngest, at 12, still doesn't care. I have to remind him not to run around nekkid, and to get out while mom is changing! Of course, his puberty hasn't started yet, so that may have something to do with it.

Morgain
December 16th, 2004, 02:41 PM
My oldest who is 10 likes sher privacy when she is changing and will usually change in her and her sisters room, except in the morning when both girls come down stairs and get ready. im not sure why yet but, lol who knows. My 7 year old is a different breed. the minute she gets home after school nine times out of ten the clothes come off down to her underware and that is the end of that. Don't get me wrong if we have company she waits for them to leave before getting down to her underware, lol. My girls do respect my privacy now that they are older and I give them the space they need too, knowing that soon my oldest will be entering puberty soon and will be needing her space. But for the most part I let them find what they are comfortable with. Yes they have caught me a time or too and the "hey mom you have boobs" thing has finally ended, lol. But i think we have all figured out what works in our house.

CeSeun
December 16th, 2004, 02:47 PM
I may have a different perspective on this subject. I was a member of AANR (American Association for Nude Recreation) for several years, and traveled to several Nude/Clothing Optional Resorts and Beaches around the world. Having "issues" about my own body, trying nudity brought me to accept who I am and how I am. I felt the most comfortable at "Family" resorts (where children are accepted). There were NO sexual undertones, it was all about being a Naturalist. Most of the kids do walk around and play all day with their clothes on - I guess it's easier that way - LOL. The rules state though, that if you are in the pool you must be nude. The kids didn't seem to have a problem with it. And it's funny, but you don't even notice the nudity. I have found that all of the children being brought up in the Naturist environment have higher self esteems, a better acceptance for differences, and a higher comfort awareness (especially with sexual predator issues). Yes, at a certain age children become "modest" and that is natural. But there is no reason for you to have to worry about walking around your own house in the nude. Maybe a little informal chat with your child about nudity and when it's "ok" to be nude. I have found that at the Family Nude Resorts the children are more aware of the "ok's" of nudity. My daughter (3 1/2) is comfortable with her and our nudity - for now. She does ask questions and at times asks for privacy - all age appropriate. I guess we will see how it goes as she gets older.

This may have been a little out in left field, but I had to share. Please understand that all parents have different feelings on this subject. You have to figure out what feels right for you and go with it.

Oh, and a little side note: I haven't been to a "Resort" in 2 years (when my daughter started talking- LOL) My in-laws are VERY MODEST and would NEVER understand :holycow: . So to avoid any unnecessary conflict we decided to stop our Nude Recreation for the time being. We do, however, not worry about the little run to the dryer to find clean clothes or the forgotten towel jaunts through the house :bigredgri

MorningDove030202
December 16th, 2004, 06:03 PM
I've been to clothing optional pagan events, so I do appreciate your perspective.
Thanks!
Dove

Valkie
December 16th, 2004, 08:55 PM
my two oldest have no sense of modesty! 10 and 8. They will run around the house half nekkid, don't care if someone walks in on them, and always feel the need to ask me questions when I'm in the shower.

They are starting to get the idea that privacy is needed. I kick them out of the bathroom when they need to ask me those badly timed questions, close the bedroom door and tell them to wait while I'm getting dressed, ect.

I figure that eventually they'll understand privacy... they just haven't gotten there yet.

OriginalWacky
December 17th, 2004, 02:09 AM
I guess what it all breaks down to is what you and your children are comfortable with. For example, my chidren have seen my nude body enough times to stop telling me that I have big boobs. Hehe. Seriously, I've never made it a big issue, although I always close the door when I use the bathroom (ever try using the potty with a 90 pound dog trying to climb into your lap?), they are more than welcome to knock and come in upon invitation. The bathroom was always the place reserved for private discussions, and the one place they could bring up ANYTHING and I woul talk to them about it.

As my kids got older, they didn't want to see me nude, or were uncomfortable about it. Since I always had the door closed anyway, it wasn't a real obvious thing, they just started knocking less on the bathroom door when I was in there. My son is the most shy about it, the girls still don't mind much.

Now, since I have stepchildren, I do not run around the house nude every, unless they are in no way even close to home. They wouuld be *very* uncomfortable with it. I probably wouldn't care that much, I'm not that shy, fat or not. But I have no rigt to make them feel uncomfortable. And they don't ever do the nude thing either. The Oldest is 22, and he would probably die of embarrassment if anybody ever even saw his underwear. The Youngest is 11, and he isn't exactly an exhibitionist, but he doesn't flip out QUITE as much as the oldest.

The Mate and I have even taken to sleeping in pj's, because we have both been known to throw off the covers, and we want the kids to feel like they can knock and come into our room at any time. And especially since our alarm clock wakes neither one of us, and the Oldest is our alarm now, we don't want him to be uncomfortable. In addition, the cats all sleep in our room, and clothes help keep claws away from delicate bits.

I have to agree with those who said to take your cues from your son. If you aren't embarrassed or shy, you have a better chance off having a son grow up with a healthy attitude about nudity and so on.

Faery-Wings
December 17th, 2004, 08:12 AM
I have found that at the Family Nude Resorts the children are more aware of the "ok's" of nudity.

A friend of mine and I were talking about this a month ago. She and her hubby were nudists before the kids were born too. They shower every night and one of them brings in one kid , the other brings in the other. Her concern was how long do you let the dad and 6 yo girl shower together. Now, I grew up in a repressed Catholic Italian household and I don't think I ever saw my dad naked (ahhhhhh!! *runs from the thought*). And as a former PreK teacher, I told her I would be concerned if a student of mine told me she showered with her dad at that age.
So I am not sure there is "an age" but rather taking cues fromthe child him or herself, like London said.

I know when my son started kdg he became more aware of privacy and bathrooms. I guess they have it drilled into their heads. Even now when I pee with the door open (or after the dog barges in on my), he'll stand, "lined up" outside the door to talk to me. LOL

MorningDove030202
December 17th, 2004, 08:52 AM
I have to agree with those who said to take your cues from your son. If you aren't embarrassed or shy, you have a better chance off having a son grow up with a healthy attitude about nudity and so on.

Ya, I'm not particularly embarased or shy, but my inlaws are. They have a 7 year old who must wear his underwear in the bathtub with my son Vincent who is almost three.

I'll just see when Vincent starts to act embarased or wants privacy and I won't worry about it.

I guess I'm parinoied about having my kid taken away from me for some stupid reason, like nudity. I read an article in Mothering magazine about a family who's little girl was taken away for 6 weeks becuase of some bathtub pictures that someone reported. It's just awful to think that I might do something I think is totaly normal and have my child taken away. It realy bothers me.

What about peeing outside in one's own yard?

Dove

aerialla
December 17th, 2004, 09:19 AM
That's pretty bad that those kids were taken away for bathtub pictures. I have videotape of my girls in the bathtub. Just a few minutes of them playing. Luckily for me I don't have boys because I always seem to be without clothes. If we have guests in the house I will wear pj's to bed but other than that I can't. It kills me to wear clothes to bed, too restricting. I've always ran around naked in front of my daughters, but with daddy its different. Once they realized that he was different at about 2 he grew uncomfortable with it so we all respect his modesty.

I'm trying to teach them that we someone is using the potty that they should respect their privacy, just as I respect theirs. We had to do this because they started barging in on people even when we were at other family members homes.

I think the body is wonderful and there is no reason that they should be ashamed. Its a part of life, every person has a body and you just can't go around hiding it behind clothes all the time unless you expect to never go to the bathroom or take a shower ever again.:muwaha:

~~Cypher~~
December 18th, 2004, 11:48 PM
thank fully i aint gotta worry bout that... my bathroom is clear across the house and I walk in the nude back to the bedroom to get dressed... but my little uns are still little :D so thankfully i have at least another year of walking from point a to point be nude!

Celtic Solstice
December 19th, 2004, 12:59 AM
Thank you for posting this question. I was wondering it too. I have two little boys (3 and infant). Showers have been relatively easy since the birth of the second. That time is Mommy's time, so I get that time alone, even though we are not so concerned about them seeing me. We are trying to potty train the oldest so we have actually encouraged him to sit on the potty when Mommy or Daddy is on the potty. The only complication is that he has become really curious about how on earth Mommy pees since she does not have a penis. So far as he is concerned both parents are "Big Boys." The fact that Mommy does not have a penis is irrelevant. It's just not part of his consciousness yet. I think it is probably a good thing at this point, but I have wondered about the whole question of nudity...

One of the things that troubles me is the question of it being gender based... I basically feel that when I have to avoid being seen naked then so does my husband. I can accept that our society is not comfortable with nudity but I don't want it to become a gender thing, especially with me being the sole example of a female in the house.

Regarding closing the door to go potty - I have found one problem with the open-door policy and that is what you do when guests are over. He wants to be in the bathroom with his sitters too. That was the point where I had to start explaining that if someone closed the door to the bathroom, he could not go in.

Celtic Solstice

MorningDove030202
December 19th, 2004, 05:55 PM
Ya, I'm beginning to teach him to knock on doors, we do this at public bathrooms and at home when any door is closed, not just the bathroom door. I think I'm trying to accocated the privacy with closed doors, instead of the toilet.

My boy says penis and vagina and he has repeated to us that mommy has a vagina and day and he have a penis. When potty training we tell him to "point your penis down" so he got the haing of that word right away. (no pun intended, lol). I don't think he's gotten to point of wondering how I pee, but he knows I do, and I guess he thinks it has to with the vagina, and that's a good enough answer for him at this point.
Dove

DayDreamer
December 19th, 2004, 11:57 PM
My children, all boys, are 16, 14 and 10. I've always felt free to be nude at home. They aren't fazed by it, see no "mystery" in the nude body, and don't feel ashamed by it.

But then, I am a naturist... what many would still refer to as a nudist. I go to a nudist camp that caters to families. Infants to old people. I would take my kids with me if they expressed an interest in going, but so far they have not - they really don't want to go. But I only go on the occasional weekend, and they'd rather stay home and deal with their friends instead.

So... I think it is ALWAYS acceptable to be nude around your kids, regardless of gender, unless one of you is uncomfortable about it. It leads to frank discussions about the fact that nudity and sexuality are NOT the same thing at all - and that is a discussion that many people never bother to have.

Children of nudists are statistically less likely to be sexually abused. Why? because they are more likely to know the correct terms for various body parts (no cutesey names for genitalia), feel more comfortable discussing those parts, and more confident in the fact that no one is allowed to touch them - and MORE inclined to be assertive and tell someone if they ARE touched.

lil_suzie
December 20th, 2004, 12:48 AM
Ooh now I feel weird, I thought it was just normal for family members
to be naked around each other, my dad and me are always just hanging around
the house undressed I never thougt twice about it before! We live
in a realy small house with just the one bathroom, the main room
and kitchen, my dads bedroom, and "my" room which is also the office,
we just come and go as we please we don't close doors for anything
realy, theres no reson to, it gets real hot in the summer so its just
natural to not wear nothing when your just at home, I donno it never struck
me as odd before... I guess every family is different so just do what
seems right to you?

Sasha318
December 20th, 2004, 10:59 AM
Children of nudists are statistically less likely to be sexually abused. Why? because they are more likely to know the correct terms for various body parts (no cutesey names for genitalia), feel more comfortable discussing those parts, and more confident in the fact that no one is allowed to touch them - and MORE inclined to be assertive and tell someone if they ARE touched.

We're not nudists, but it's a personal pet peeve of mine when people use cutesey names. My kids have no idea what a weiner is, or whatever. Actually, to be completely honest, we aren't 100% correct since we've taught our daughter the word vagina. I think anatomically the labia is what is visible. Ah well, at least we don't call it her Christmastime or something. With the boys we use the word penis.

Kinda funny story: my 14 month old loves his penis so much that he tries to play with his brother's in the bathtub. Things I Thought I'd Never Say Number 150,203,195; "Holden, leave your brother's penis alone!"

DayDreamer
December 20th, 2004, 08:03 PM
Correct term for visible girlie parts - vulva. :)