Homosexuality

[Tsukasa]

Well I haven't really been having problems with this but I know lots of others who do, or are having problems. I don't see what the big deal is. I think that it is great to be who and what you want to be. Um...what do you think about it? Please give your opinion, be it whatever it is. I would like to say that I am homosexual and I'm proud of it.

Ja ne,
Tsukasa

[Zophael]

No problem here. I'm quite comfortable with my own heterosexuality and have had many homosexual friends in my life. As long as they respect my sexual orientation I will respect theirs.

[Tzhebee]

I think "the big dea" is that many people are afraid of what they don't know or understand. I am openly bisexual and feel no reason to hide it or be ashamed of who I am. If other's have a problem with it, then it is *their* problem, not mine.

[MoonDragn]

I had a big discussion about whether sexual preference is caused by chemistry or their upbringing/enviornment. I'd say Chemistry due to hormones/genetics etc. What do you think?

Sexuality in all its form is part of spirituality. It is who you are. As long as you are confident with who you are and who you love. Its all good. I think some people are so lonely that it doesn't matter which sex loves them, as long as someone does. Others have a set preference that may seem like homophobia, but they are just confident that their preference is correct.

[Ben Gruagach]

I'm an openly gay man. I'm thirty seven now, and "came out of the closet" when I went to university after I finished high school. I always knew I was gay but didn't try to date anyone until I had left home to go to university.

The only problems that come up with being gay have to do with dealing with other people's prejudices. If you find accepting people to deal with, then it makes no difference if you're gay, straight, bisexual, or asexual. If you have to deal with people who are prejudiced then it's just something you have to deal with (cope with it or learn to avoid those people.)

I've been lucky in having a family that accepted me after a short period where they were confused and just needed to learn that I was just being honest and hadn't changed at all.

In 1988 I met a wonderful guy who I've been with now quite happily in a committed relationship. We had a (non-legal) marriage ceremony in 1990 with our families and friends there. And because we're Canadians, we had a legally binding marriage in 2003 when the laws allowed us to do that in Ontario. In Canada we are legally married just like every other legally married couple regardless of their genders.

My partner and I are currently in the process of adopting a child. When you think about it, our lives as a family is not really any different from many other families with the exception that my partner and I are both guys.

It really doesn't matter if homosexuality is inborn or chosen in my opinion. We usually say it's wrong to discriminate against people based on inborn traits like gender or race. It's also common to say it's wrong to discriminate against people based on chosen differences like their politicial affiliations or their religion. People who want to discriminate based on sexual orientation have got to come up with real reasons to justify their opinions as saying they should discriminate because homosexuality is either inborn or chosen just doesn't make any sense.

[Saggitario]

Im gay, as you can see from my sig. I usually dont make a big deal about it, but I feel comfortable on these forums. I'll be honest, i havent been 100% honest about my sexality since I discovered that i am gay. Sometimes it's easier to lie, especially when I feel that my physical safety is in jeopardy. Its sad that I have to do that sometimes, but thats life, and I deal with it one situation at a time. I dont ''act gay", so it is easy for me to pretend that I am not.

[redlady]

My "problem" with homo/bisexuality has to do with the fact that most of my friends are either gay or bi and INSIST that there is no such thing as being straight and that "everyone's bi" which I don't believe and I get frustrated and resentful when they refuse to accept my heterosexuality at face value, and sometimes I find myself competing for a straight man with my (gay male) best friend,because he says that the only difference between a gay man and a straight man is a six pack. Also I'm constantly being denigrated by being told that no woman could please a man as well as another man can, and they constantly talk graphically about what they do in the bedroom,sometimes going so far as to refer to it as "trying to get pregnant"! :holycow: ,which as a woman just offends me on a visceral level,which I've told them on many occasions. Then they get all defensive when I point out that intimacy is called that for a reason and please don't share,TMI,ya know. THEN I get accused of just being jealous and that I'm acting butch, and that all my problems would be solved by having another woman. In short, I'm expected to accept their sexuality while they have NO respect for mine. The best one was someone I cared a lot for cared for me too, but had told me that he was gay and could never be with a woman, who after a year and a half of friendship decided to take a girlfriend, and got angry with me when I was hurt about it.....all I can say is-just be honest with people who care for you so we know how to channel that affection,and don't put us down because we're NOT gay, and a lot of heartbreak on everyone's part could be avoided _pounce_ Hope I did'nt step on anyone's toes.... :hugz:

[semi]

Ben G, good luck with the adoption, that's great.

Redlady, I think you need new friends who respect you a little more. They're very rude.

I'm 100% hetero (even a 6-pack won't change that) and I could not care less about homosexuality. The only time someones' sexual orientation makes a difference to me is when I want to have sex with them. Other than that, why care? I have always been a defender of "different" people and have jumped into gaybashings to fight for the gay guy and I helped start a club for gay students at one of the colleges I went to when their efforts were met with resistence. But I'll help anyone who is being discriminated against, regardless of sexuality or anything else. It just doesn't matter to me and I don't see why anyones' sexual orientation should matter to anyone other than that person. But people fear the unknown and all that.

Hell, I wish there were more gay guys. Then there'd be more single women. But then there'd probably be more gay women, too. So I guess it all works out the way it is.

[Ben Gruagach]

Redlady, I agree with semicivilizedman: you need to get new friends!

People who are so determined to "change" you are not much of a friend. People who seem to go out of their way to try and get you upset are not much of a friend.

There are plenty of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and straight people out there who treat their friends with respect. As semicivilizedman put it, the only time that someone's sexual orientation should be an issue is when you're deciding if you want to sleep with them or not. Otherwise it just doesn't really matter, at least in my opinion.

[redlady]

I hear ya..... :dontknow:

[Pure Ahimsa]

The only reason people make fun of homosexuals are because they are scared that if they don't people will wonder <---when no one cares unless you follow the evil churches lol jk.
Eh, I dont see the prob with it either tho I am hetero

[Billy Pilgrim]

I had a big discussion about whether sexual preference is caused by chemistry or their upbringing/enviornment. I'd say Chemistry due to hormones/genetics etc. What do you think?

Sexuality in all its form is part of spirituality. It is who you are. As long as you are confident with who you are and who you love. Its all good. I think some people are so lonely that it doesn't matter which sex loves them, as long as someone does. Others have a set preference that may seem like homophobia, but they are just confident that their preference is correct.


I don't really understand what makes someone homosexual either. I know lots of people who are bi, but I think that's purely for sexual gratification...o.O ..teenagers, you know...

..I grew up in a small community with plenty of gays and lesbians, though I never thought anything of it until I got to be a teenager and started wondering why "two mommys" or "two daddys" live together.. It's actually something I'm somewhat curious about.. I have female friends, but I'm not sexually attracted to them... and technically males and females were "naturally" meant to go together... so is it some kind of genetic anomaly? Or maybe an effect of repression of desires or something? o.O ..Well, those are my theories at least, though I guess I don't really have grounds to speak about it.. :p

Either way, I don't mind homosexuals if they keep it their business, and I can't stand people discriminating against them because they're different. That's unfair!

Anyway..

[Sage Rainsong]

I am a gay man. I agree with redlady. I can't stand gay people that insist on changing everybody. I find it disgusting and disrespectful. I also can't stand when some people feel that there is no such thing as a bisexual. I often got into arguments with people who insist that they don't know what they want yet.

As to what cause sexuality is probably biological in nature. There is homosexual behavior in various animals species. When it comes to gay rights though I feel that how sexuality is caused to be a moot point. Even if it were an outright concious choise (which I don't believe) whatever consenting adults want to do should be fair game. Anyway thats my two cents. :smile:

[Yasmine Galenorn]

I am a gay man. I agree with redlady. I can't stand gay people that insist on changing everybody. I find it disgusting and disrespectful. I also can't stand when some people feel that there is no such thing as a bisexual. I often got into arguments with people who insist that they don't know what they want yet.

As to what cause sexuality is probably biological in nature. There is homosexual behavior in various animals species. When it comes to gay rights though I feel that how sexuality is caused to be a moot point. Even if it were an outright concious choise (which I don't believe) whatever consenting adults want to do should be fair game. Anyway thats my two cents. :smile:


I'm bi, but I don't 'need' both, it just depends on who I'm with. I've been married to a man for almost 12 years and am quite happy. I have no problem with anybody's sexuality except--as Red Lady pointed out--when I've had a few gay (male) friends who decided to tell me that they'd love to take a 'try' with husband (who is straight) and then hinted that the only thing standing in the way was the fact that I'd kick their ass. Well, they're right that I would, but both Samwise and I were offended by the attitude and I laid into those boys but good. Friends like that I didn't need and that ended communications right there. And on the other side of the coin, long ago when I was walking, holding hands with my girlfriend, we heard a couple guys saying, "Damned dykes, what a waste!" and that pissed me off. You can't 'change' somebody who doesn't have an inborn slant in that direction, whatever that direction is.

And then I have friends, both gay and straight, and it never comes up as an issue because it's just part of life for all of us. I have no problem with women or men admiring Sam and I, as long as it's respectful of our relationship. I find some women very attractive, but I'm not going after them because A) I'm married and B) if they're straight, I wouldn't intrude.

Yasmine :colorful:

[Saggitario]

I hate it when people say that I just pretend to be gay just so I can "get more chicks". Whatever.
I also dislike hiding my sexuality from other people. It seems as though gays and lesbians are "OK" to make fun of still. You cant make fun of anyone's race or religion, but if someone is queer, its fair game.
When I was a senio in highschool, I took a "world cultures" class that was all freshmen, because my credits wouldnt transfer. What an eye opener that was. One day the subject of Aids came up, and the teacher said that AIDS first affected the gay community when it spread to the US. He stopped there. I wish he would have mentioned something about how certain people used that as grounds for further discrimination. That pretty much opened up a can of worms, and was pretty humiliating, even though I wasnt 'out'. Im thankful, though in some respects regretful, that I wasnt.
Overall, though I dont really tell people Im gay unless I have a reason to, or Im really close with that person. There is a saying that goes:
'Be who you are and do what you like, because people who mind dont matter, and people who matter dont mind"
If your gay, and come out, you loose alot of friends, you gain some enemies, but the friends who do stay with you become closer. One would think that I would take my own advice, but sometimes people do stupid things...

[karma_lives]

there are alot more homosexuals that i thought, just because now they're coming out you know? (i feel like i'm being insulting by calling a homosexual person a 'gay' lol >shrug<) As for me though, I have no problem with them at all. Infact I wish I had a homosexual male friend. lol I don't have any gay friends, although I do have my suspisions on one...LoL but I wish i did! The only thing about it that bothers me is when a homosexual woman is flirting and i try to let her know that not only do I have a boyfriend but i'm not gay and i'm being polite and she keeps at it and saying I just need to try it. but then again, that's just that one person not all of them so again..i'm back to I don't have a problem with them. luv them all let them take over the world. >don't mind me i'm just exhausted and slightly light headed..not good for the health<

[lil_suzie]

Ok I hope no one gets mad cos I dont mean it sound mean I just
dont get it, the whole gay thing. Ok so Ive never known any one
whos gay and I dont realy care if people are gay but I dont understand
why do so many gay people have to make such a big deal out of it?
Do you no what I mean, its like it seems like alot of gay people
go out of there way to make it a issue like thats ALL they are
its kinda wierd to me that some one would do that, I mean ok
so you like other guys or whatever, so what? Other people have
things that they like to but you dont see "people who like only
short people" parades or anything, I guess what I mean is why
is gay a "lifestyle"? Im not trying to be rude Im realy just
curious cos like I said I never known anyone who is gay.

[morrigan]

i'm of the opinion that you fall in love with the person not what sex they are..

[dr_zeus440]

I guess what I mean is why is gay a "lifestyle"?

its not necessarily a lifestyle. for example, not every gay man you see is going to spend $90 a week on exfoliant, cleanser, toner, moisturiser, shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, hair mask, hair product, razor, shaving gel, after-shave balm and cologne, wear tight jeans and sleeveless ts or go dancing around city streets dressed in glitter (and precious little else) one or more nights a year. for some people, probably most, its just a sexual orientation. as for why its a lifestyle for those that it is a lifestyle to, well, i cant give you a blanket answer, but i can give you my own: it's fun, and it's what i want.

[PoisonIvy]

I have quite a few gay friends and I love them all but we really don't talk about it much I suppose or they ignore the fact that I'm straight and I ignore the fact that they're gay or something. When they talk about they're boyfriends it doesn't bother me at all and I don't believe that it bothers them when I talk about my husband but we never get into "bedroom" conversations. What's in the bedroom stays in the bedroom. I don't condem or condone the way they live. I just know that they are my friends and if they ever need me,I'll be there!

[sari0009]

Well I haven't really been having problems with this but I know lots of others who do, or are having problems. I don't see what the big deal is. I think that it is great to be who and what you want to be. Um...what do you think about it? Please give your opinion, be it whatever it is. I would like to say that I am homosexual and I'm proud of it.

Ja ne,
Tsukasa

For me homosexuality is a non-issue but may be a consideration...as in showing consideration.

I respect (and show consideration for) people on the basis of character, actions, words, lifestyle, maturity, focus, and so on.

[MoonDragn]

I'm on the opinion that you fall in love with the person too. However for some people. That kind of love turns into friendship if they are the same sex. For others it turns into something else. I think its natural for people to connect thats just nature. Yes out in the wild animal kingdom it is more common, its actually more natural than most people think. However that doesn't mean that there aren't people who are only interested in the opposite sex. I for one am not attracted at all to other men no matter how much beer I drink. I admire good looking men wishing I had a body like theirs but thats about as far as it goes.

I think alot of it is phremones too, men put out a different scent than women. I think depending on our sense of smell we're more or less attracted to them.

[Odilla]

i'm of the opinion that you fall in love with the person not what sex they are..

I completely agree!

I was going to say more, But I can't figure out how to say it without it coming out all disjoined.

[Semele]

for some people, probably most, its just a sexual orientation. as for why its a lifestyle for those that it is a lifestyle to, well, i cant give you a blanket answer, but i can give you my own: it's fun, and it's what i want.
Exactly. Not all are going to fall into the rude ad raunchy category all the time either. My brother had a lot of bar friends and when they were all together it was like that and it honestly got on my very last nerve. But I have known a great many folk closely who were both Gay and someone you would be comfortable bringing to see your family!

[Semele]

I think alot of it is phremones too, men put out a different scent than women. I think depending on our sense of smell we're more or less attracted to them.
So what if a guy dresses as a woman..and looks good, and sprays female phermones on him..then might you find him attractive..I mean if your mind didn't "know" it was wrong?

Just curious..I like the smell thing though and I honestly think you are on to something. I think we may be programmed to prefer certain smells from a very early age. Heck, maybe even in eutero. *shrugs*

[Ben Gruagach]

Exactly. Not all are going to fall into the rude ad raunchy category all the time either. My brother had a lot of bar friends and when they were all together it was like that and it honestly got on my very last nerve. But I have known a great many folk closely who were both Gay and someone you would be comfortable bringing to see your family!

Exactly. The "lifestyle" thing is not a gay thing -- it seems to me to be more of a bar/clubkid/raver thing than something related to sexual orientation.

I can't think of any of my gay or lesbian friends who I would describe as a "bar type" or "club kid" or "raver" (and I know plenty of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, etc.) My friends are more the type who like to go to movies, just hang around talking, read books, and stuff like that. Jeans, t-shirts, and sweaters rather than glitter and leather pants.

But that's just gay ol' me and my friends. (I'm also 37 so the whole leather pants and glitter thing is a bit "young" for me.)

[MoonDragn]

So what if a guy dresses as a woman..and looks good, and sprays female phermones on him..then might you find him attractive..I mean if your mind didn't "know" it was wrong?

Just curious..I like the smell thing though and I honestly think you are on to something. I think we may be programmed to prefer certain smells from a very early age. Heck, maybe even in eutero. *shrugs*

yes but how many guys dressed as a woman actually looks good or like a woman? You can almost always tell, at least I can.

Explain the leather pants thing for me. I think I missed something.

[Silverwolfthorn]

im all for equality, i think its all about relating to things as to whether you're against it or not. If you cant relate it, or even imagine it its very difficult to support it. I feel sorry for the homophobes, i dont think they can help feeling that way, of course i dont feel sorry for them if they act out on those feelings. blessed be

[blueangel]

Well I haven't really been having problems with this but I know lots of others who do, or are having problems. I don't see what the big deal is. I think that it is great to be who and what you want to be. Um...what do you think about it? Please give your opinion, be it whatever it is. I would like to say that I am homosexual and I'm proud of it.

Ja ne,
Tsukasa

I used to think that way about homosexuality. It wasn't until my little brother announced he's gay that I realised I'm not as comfortable with it as I thought. I don't think it's wrong I just wish he wasn't - I'd love him to become a father as I know he loves kids. I'm working hard on it and it seems that I am closer to my bro now he's honest about it but sometimes I just have to swallow hard and stop thoughts about howw things could be different.

Everyone should be proud to be themselves and I would never wish harm on anyone for how they feel. I hope to one day be as accepting of my own brother as I am of other people's choices.

[redlady]

What's in the bedroom stays in the bedroom........... I just know that they are my friends and if they ever need me,I'll be there!
I agree whole-heartedly!! I don't want to hear about anyone's bedroom activities, be they gay,straight or otherwise. I don't broadcast my business,but someone I used to share living space with delights in broadcasting it for me, and telling me I should "lighten up" :geez: . I love my friends,the straight and gay ones,and would go to the mat for any of them but I just wish the sole topic of conversation was'nt ALWAYS who put there what where with who :excuseme:

[Ben Gruagach]

I used to think that way about homosexuality. It wasn't until my little brother announced he's gay that I realised I'm not as comfortable with it as I thought. I don't think it's wrong I just wish he wasn't - I'd love him to become a father as I know he loves kids. I'm working hard on it and it seems that I am closer to my bro now he's honest about it but sometimes I just have to swallow hard and stop thoughts about howw things could be different.

Everyone should be proud to be themselves and I would never wish harm on anyone for how they feel. I hope to one day be as accepting of my own brother as I am of other people's choices.

Being gay does not mean you automatically will never have a family. I'm a gay man. I've been with the same guy now for sixteen years. We are legally married in Canada (we're Canadians.)

And we're going through the process of adopting as a way to start our family.

I know gay men who are raising kids, lesbians who are raising kids. Some of them adopted, some of them are biologically related to their kids (kids were the result of previous relationships or other arrangements like sperm donors or whatever.)

If your brother wants to have kids there's not really much stopping him from having them. It just might be a little trickier, like having to do an adoption. It's just like heterosexuals who find that they are either infertile themselves or they can't produce a child with their partner for whatever reason.

[BlessedByTheGoddess]

I am 16 and I came out in the summer of '03 to my mother and many other people. I have been with my partner for 2 years. I am proud that there are people here who can be out and proud. I am not just gay-not really gay at all. I am pansexual. But that's another story.

Good Luck and Congrats on the adoption!

[karma_lives]

I had this thought...but I forgot it..but if you give me a minute..OH. lol okay so it's actually a story but it's kind of amusing although you may have needed to be there. ANYWAYS my uncle is like..he's completely racist and i don't know if there's a word for it...OH. lol homophobic. *so's my dad but that's another story* newho. In Denver they were on a strike and this girl walked by and my uncle and a bunch of other guys started whistling and catcalls and that you know? bein dorks and my mom was there and she's all 'butch *my uncle* that's not a girl" and he's all 'sure it is' and continued to hit on her when it turns out she was really a he in a dress. It was funnier then..and I dont' mean to disrespect my uncle because he's honestly a nice man he's just set in his ways. You may have needed to be ther. Lol don't mind me. i'm just weird sometimes :steppy:

[Semele]

yes but how many guys dressed as a woman actually looks good or like a woman? You can almost always tell, at least I can.
.
Oh you haven't seen enough good drag shows then because I have seen several who looked better then most women. No doubt a lot of work goes into it as an artform.

[Semele]

I hope to one day be as accepting of my own brother as I am of other people's choices.
I have been in your exact position and it is very hard. It gets easier on that level. One thing that sucks though is that my brother and I don't get along anymore and people are so quick to assume it has something to do with him being gay. That annoys me.

Good luck to you and your brother.

[Teknohamer]

Oh you haven't seen enough good drag shows then because I have seen several who looked better then most women. No doubt a lot of work goes into it as an artform.

I was going to say the same thing. I am a gay female, and I've been to enough drag shows(most of my friends are gay males) to say some of those men out there in drag look Better than women. My friend used to kick me, and remind me they were still guys. :p ahh, it's all in good fun.

I don't have many problems w/being gay. I just recently quit my job because of waaay too many homosexual comments. Seeing as I depended on these people for my safety,and I was quite worried they were going to leave me hanging 30 ft up on a safety harness, I decided to try and find a new job.

I don't tend to make a big deal out of being gay, but there are times when you have to speck up because if you don't, that person making gay jokes may not ever realise that they are friends with a gay person. I had that happen months ago at my job. friend said he couldn't stand gay men, and my other friend said, "what about lesbians", and he said he couldn't stand them either. I looked at hom(i'd been pretty good friends with him) and said, well, what about me? He apologized, and i know it at least made him think for a minute. I'm *NOT* the in your face, i'm gay, deal with it type. If you ask, i will tell, if you make jokes, I may tell you(depending on how safe i feel, I'm not a very big woman).

/tirade. I just talk too much.

[Wiccamagikal]

And I could not agree more! I have had so many problems accepting myself because I was raised in a christian family, and therefore was tought that it was "wrong" you know. Well now, I am my own person..I am who I am and I now accept that...because I am proud of it. You should PM me!! It's great to know that there are more ppl out there like me.!

Peace Out :fpeace: _twohorns_

[Grey]

*sighs* personally, Im not gay. Theres been alot of rumors though because its a small town and with one exception, none of my girlfriends have ever been known by anyone other than my closest friends *they all lived in the nearbye city, not the valley here*. That combined with the fact that I look good in purple, get along better with women than men *most of the time* and just dont understand the games of "grab-ass" that get played around highschool and college.... whatever.
Its interesting some of the insights you get. Then again I never really had a problem with gay men around me, its just like a girl that I dont want to date... if they hit on me, I say no... the evening continues apace. If they dont hit on me *none have after they find out Im strait, rather polite* then I really have no feelings of discomfort around them. And as for lesbians the only thing is that I know one or two Id like to date... marvelous ladies really, but as they arent interested I dont bring it up- works rather well eh?
Not a single person has been able to tell me what the harm in having gay people in our culture is. Not a single one... a few have brought up that the idea of two men getting married hurts the sanctity of marriage... stating that its between a man and a woman. Not on has yet to be able to show me how thats the case in all religions, and if your only basis for doing something is religous dogma then it shouldnt be in the politics of our government! *ok, rant off now*
*shrugs* then again Im probably borderline bisexual... Id kiss a guy if I needed to for instance. I just dont find myself attracted to men.

[Windsmith]

and technically males and females were "naturally" meant to go together... so is it some kind of genetic anomaly? Or maybe an effect of repression of desires or something?
I cannot recommend highly enough - to everyone - Bruce Bagemihl's Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity. It is a wonderfully detailed study of same-sex & transgender behavior in animals, & it is simply brilliant. Well-researched, scholarly yet completely accessible...::swoon:: It debunks a lot of myths about homosexuality being "unnatural," & about procreative heterosexuality being the only - or even, in some cases, the predominant - form of sexual expression in the animal kingdom. I adore it. :heartthro Bagemihl proposes fantastic theories about energy consumption & the "purpose" of life. Turning the scarcity model on his head, he posits that life on this planet operates on a surplus of energy, & that everything we do is part of a joyous & completely natural effort to expend that overabundant energy, & that that is why we do such extravagant things as eat, have sex, & die. He also talks extensively about homosexual & transgendered animal behavior in aboriginal folklore. It's had such a profound impact on me - the way I look at the world, my spiritual practices - that every time I go into a bookstore I'm always surprised to find it in science, rather than religion!

I've strayed a bit off my point here. What I'm getting at is that, just because you can look at a human male & a human female & say, "Tab A fits into Slot B" doesn't mean it has to, or that there isn't someplace else to put Tab A, or that the owner of Slot B wants a tab there anyway, & that's all natural, too. It's not genetic anomaly or anything to do with repressed anythings; it's the way we are - the way Nature & the Mysterious Ones made us, & we honor & cherish it. Exuberantly.

[Ben Gruagach]

It's not genetic anomaly or anything to do with repressed anythings; it's the way we are - the way Nature & the Mysterious Ones made us, & we honor & cherish it. Exuberantly.

I read somewhere years ago the following (paraphrased) description of the whole topic:

"They're all just variations on the theme of love."