There All Along [Archive] - MysticWicks Online Pagan Community and Spiritual Sanctuary

MockingbirdOxygen

January 6th, 2005, 01:16 PM

And even though I felt Alone and Wronged, You have been there all along.

Never Abandoned here are we, not unless We choose to Be.

To see what They see up above, merely needs the eyes of Love.

When I forget these words I've hidden, remind Me to read What I've written.

And though I know I'll fail again, This time I will not fear the End.

Please let me continue to learn from my mistakes and not push away those that I love...let me help out of kindness and not just for recognition. Let my life unfold in the way that it was best intended. I do not pretend to understand what you are, and yet every day another piece of this beautiful puzzle falls into place, to where I am convinced there is something more...somewhere on another dimension, and yet the portal to that dimension can only be found within me...there is a guild of help waiting to be needed...all I needed was to believe.

A bump and a quote... and praying for help to cut her cord if that is the right thing to do. Finally realized... if amber's talking about Bugsy behind her back, then she's also doing the same to me... as well as calling her crazy to me, probably calling me crazy to her, too?... hahah well she might be vamping all the energy off the christian gatherings she attends... (she's definitely not christian... she makes fun of that) but she can't have mine.

And Oh Great One... cover all this in peaceful prayers, because really, it's all too trivial to mess with... and I need help staying focused on my own truly blessed and gifted life. And it's funny, too... to know I am important enough for them to try and OM. Quite flattering. Spiritual warfare will never be won on the outside, it's an inside battle. Kingdom of Heaven is within ME... focus on that and bring the Inner to the Outter, as above so below, etc. So enough's enough, off they go, and so it is.

And the most important pieces of the puzzle are in place but under lock and key... never post that part out loud ;)

Just help me remember to deal with everyone through Love... even when they need put in their place. I used to know this... and thankfully, N reminded me of that. Help me heal on the inside. Even the family stuff... you can heal without re-bonding, right/ Because I am not ready for closeness with hubby's other relatives...not yet... he may have been young, she may have been very young too (8 ? Is that normal?)when she "molested him"... but... it is still just too too weird for me when they are around each other.

~Aum~

Happy Birthday.:thumbsup:

Also... thank you for the confirmation that those who want to own the info only post hints... and are not true friends. Pathetic, yet I am ecstatically happy to finally have it come out and know I was being given true info from the other side. They really are pathetic and I am at a loss for words... Deal with them as you see fit, My Great Power. Hopefully with Mercy, so that they just learn and are not harmed. Presently blocking them and returning their energies, thank ye kindly but no thank ye. And now, I go. To my other avatars and other places, and to my real life loves. Never to put my trust in the red dog again.
(Lynn Andrews -red dog) (http://www.rambles.net/andrews_spwoman02.html)

Ah, Reader's Digest, but not for me... Reader's Defacated?
Last edited by MockingbirdOxygen (http://mysticwicks.com/posthistory.php?p=4190869); June 27th, 2010 at 09:57 PM. Reason: Retroactivation additional info just to verify nonidentities; any resemblence to real life characters is purely coincidental.

There is Power in Belief, even if the word lie is embedded therein.
If someone attempts to plant something in your mind, take that which would be perceived as negative and transmute it into something better for the both of you, and for all whom it touches. Great Oneness, Do grant me the power to Love even those who would not lovE in return, and the peace of forGiveness. Aum, and so it is.

Earthy

January 6th, 2005, 05:46 PM

:hugz:

MockingbirdOxygen

January 15th, 2005, 03:13 PM

Lost_Sole

January 15th, 2005, 03:16 PM

:hugz: it is ok.

Earthy

January 15th, 2005, 03:19 PM

:hugz:
That prayer of thanks could also be mine.

MockingbirdOxygen

January 15th, 2005, 10:04 PM

And thank you for all that has led to my life today...my precious family and loving husband who takes such good care of me and them... :hearthear I thought it was he who needed me, but turns out was the other way around...

MockingbirdOxygen

January 16th, 2005, 07:27 PM

when will I learn that the moment you declare yourself strong again

some low life will come along and try to drag you down with them

try to make it seem like they know it all when they haven't the authority

to tell you what they deem true

someone who, not so long ago, you tried to help out

when they themselves were singled out

and I, like the fool, would play right into the hand

like a low life myself

take the bait

not realizing

oh how I am glad

that I wrote this reminder to myself

oh how I am glad

for the others who still care

oh how I am glad

that I am human

that I am allowed to hate myself for a while and then get back up off it

and use the inspiration to write a new song on a new day

the lyrics, they write themselves

greenwitch

January 16th, 2005, 07:44 PM

*hugs* :)

MockingbirdOxygen

January 17th, 2005, 03:08 PM

And back again
Did not land on my feet, but hey, that's what butts are so cushy for, right? :whatmewor
Getting the hang of this thing you call life
Figuring myself out
Thank you again
for Growth

MockingbirdOxygen

January 17th, 2005, 03:12 PM

Taking SacredWithin's suggestion, in remembrance: Send him thoughts of appreciation from us.
Peace? I've hardly created any. Fueled one too many fires, sometimes in a good way and sometimes in a not-so-good way...and yet it all comes back to the plan...to learn.

MockingbirdOxygen

January 20th, 2005, 04:14 PM

Still just checking in...and hanging in...and trying to remember there is a reason.

Trying not to question it so much.

Trying to just let go and forget about myself...if I can help someone else, maybe I will get over myself? And then, the ironic beauty is, I will find myself. :antennae:

MockingbirdOxygen

February 7th, 2005, 11:01 PM

Why did he have to use that word at school?

And why did he have to get caught?

How can I not feel...angry...sorry...and hypocritical all in one...?

What do I tell them?

Was my typewritten letter a little too harsh?

So it is not allowed...at least he's just messing around with his language...he's not embodying the word, the way the school officials do to those who do not have money and do not count...is there that much difference in saying it and acting it out in deceit?

MockingbirdOxygen

February 7th, 2005, 11:02 PM

Today, I could not quit crying.

But then tonight, I came to this beautiful place, where I could be my goofy-ful self.

Thank you.

MockingbirdOxygen

February 14th, 2005, 05:07 PM

Thank you for my little blessings
They wear me out, but they are good

Thank you for my one true love
I never knew you could marry someone and still desire them and still be best friends

Thank you for my dysfunctional extended family, they make me feel sane by comparison, and we love each other anyway.

So much love and light, what better day to give thanks than today? And yet every day I should do the same, and I try, but sometimes the trivial little bits of crap get in the way...help me to remember, please, in a good way.

Every night when I roll over, and he is there, a ball of warmth in my home court, my heart feels as though it might burst...when I see him feeding our son, tears come to my eyes...when I see him trying so hard to be a dad to my oldest two, I can't help but think of all of this and wonder...WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!! :toofless: You knew I had to get over my tenderhearted fluff and end it with a good laugh, didn't ya?

MockingbirdOxygen

February 22nd, 2005, 03:23 PM

Okay, I see your signs.

I don't always understand, but I'm piecing things together as they come.

Have patience with me.

Sometimes when I ask for signs, then I forget to watch.

How stupid is that?

Somewhere, you're all coming together for me...the Green Man, the references to 3, the Labyrinth, Horse, Druids, Buddha, China. I'm being inundated with the information right now, so I need time to sort things out. Some of the references I begin to understand. Some, I don't have a clue.

Sometimes it's staring me right in the face.

Like now.

MockingbirdOxygen

March 8th, 2005, 10:27 AM

Green Man, thank you for getting my attention

I now see that you are one of the figures who has always been there.

It was you whispering to my subconscious when I sat among the pines as a child, longing to encounter a mystical woodland creature;

It was you drawing me to the great outdoors, although my society-instilled fear of all things wild was holding me back...

It was you who made me feel that there was something ritualistic in just being in the quiet places of my backyard, in the shade of the tree, sitting on the tiny grassy knoll;

Thank You

I still have so much to learn about you, and yet I've known you all my life

MockingbirdOxygen

March 11th, 2005, 01:22 PM

Thank you so much for my love; he keeps me going when I feel so hopeless
He is my inspiration, and I don't know how he does it
He works so hard to provide for us and then he comes home to take care of us some more...how did this transformation take place, in a once-drunkard who could barely care for himself? It must have been a miracle; everyone says it was me...but it was I who needed him and didn't know it...it must have been in Your plan for us, the somewheres and the somehows...and now all that matters is in the here and now. Thank You. :heartthro

MockingbirdOxygen

March 27th, 2005, 11:10 PM

please, make it better :wah:

Tzhebee

March 31st, 2005, 06:50 PM

Thank you for those who have loved me and then gone on
Thank you for not giving me what I thought I wanted
Thank you for letting me open my eyes
Thank you for making me a stronger person
Thank you for allowing me to keep a little of each of them with me
Thank you for my creative insanity
Thank you, for the ups and the downs
Without them I would not be where I am now
And though I longingly reminisce about the days of my youth
I know that I would not go back if I could
For I stand here before you today at 33
Better than ever.
I have taken the liberty of modifying/responding to this post of yours...to fit my feelings. I hope you don't mind.

Thank you for those who have loved me. You made it easy for us to do so.
Thank you for not giving me what I thought I wanted You think you want to leave...but I'm not letting you go that easily.
Thank you for letting me open my eyes now you need to do it again...without the fear.
Thank you for making me a stronger person you are always as strong as you believe. And the days you don't believe you are strong....we still do.
Thank you for allowing me to keep a little of each of them with me Please allow us to keep a piece of you, as well.
Thank you for my creative insanity Thank you for sharing it!
Thank you, for the ups and the downs Now, lets work on having more UPs.
For I stand here before you today at 33, Better than ever. And getting better by the day. :hugz:

Auntie Boo...you know...you need to KNOW that we are here for you, now, always. We aren't going to tuck tail and run. And because we are friends, we are not just going to sit idely by while you tuck tail and run, either. We are here to help, in any way we can...you just have to LET us.

I love you, my friend. :hugz:

Earthy

April 1st, 2005, 02:07 AM

I have taken the liberty of modifying/responding to this post of yours...to fit my feelings. I hope you don't mind.

Thank you for those who have loved me. You made it easy for us to do so.
Thank you for not giving me what I thought I wanted You think you want to leave...but I'm not letting you go that easily.
Thank you for letting me open my eyes now you need to do it again...without the fear.
Thank you for making me a stronger person you are always as strong as you believe. And the days you don't believe you are strong....we still do.
Thank you for allowing me to keep a little of each of them with me Please allow us to keep a piece of you, as well.
Thank you for my creative insanity Thank you for sharing it!
Thank you, for the ups and the downs Now, lets work on having more UPs.
For I stand here before you today at 33, Better than ever. And getting better by the day. :hugz:

Auntie Boo...you know...you need to KNOW that we are here for you, now, always. We aren't going to tuck tail and run. And because we are friends, we are not just going to sit idely by while you tuck tail and run, either. We are here to help, in any way we can...you just have to LET us.

I love you, my friend. :hugz:

I agree 100% AuntBoo.
You know i love you too :hugz:

MockingbirdOxygen

April 2nd, 2005, 12:27 AM

O Powers that Be, thank you for my friends at MW and all the nice things they say about me, and should I mention that I'm thankful that they also have great senses of humor? :bigredblu

While I'm on a roll, thanks for my special hubby and the way he takes care of things around the house almost as soon as I ask for them...I was shocked to find out that he'd gone up to fix the roof some more this morning, without me to hold the ladder...that was some quick service there, yup. I'd have felt really bad if he hadn't made it back down that ladder without my help :awwman:

so anyway back to business, please let my buddies on here know that I wouldn't have April Fooled them if I didn't love them! :hugz:
so forgive me my April Fool's jokes...and oh yeah, be with the pygmies in New Guinea... :lilangel:

MockingbirdOxygen

April 12th, 2005, 02:14 PM

I don't know if I can do this...

I don't know if I want to...

to give up so much control and let people in

Paranoia still looms thick in the back of my mind and I don't even trust myself...

~~~

on another note...please send my friends the spiritual healing energy they all need to recover from what happened...I don't know how else it is that I am supposed to help them...

~~~

thank you for all the signs, keep 'em coming!
and thank you Granny, I know I saw you today...

***
thank you for sending our roofing angel to help with the leak and estimates!
thank you for everything else I have because it may not be much in other's eyes, but it is all so special to me...

amen? don't know how to sign off of this prayer today... _cloud9_

MockingbirdOxygen

April 13th, 2005, 12:57 PM

Thank You, for the protection granted us today in that near miss...that was sooo too close for comfort...thank you for reminding me to take my travel protection crystals, and thank you for watching out for my family in general, as always.

:yayhawaii

MockingbirdOxygen

April 27th, 2005, 12:51 PM

I am not myself lately and since I don't know why, maybe only You have the answers...

trying to be patient...

but giving in to doubt.

Earthy

April 27th, 2005, 04:15 PM

Oh Boofy :hugz:
I pray you receive the guidance you are looking for, my sweet lovely friend.

BlackMagicalCat

April 27th, 2005, 09:35 PM

Hello my beloved friend,I dont know much about you,and Im not all that smart,but God knows you,he knows what makes you happy,and he knows what makes you sad,he knows what your heart will do,before you think it.God loves you and so do I.Thankyou for your help to me when I was bummed out,Love you.

MockingbirdOxygen

May 1st, 2005, 08:25 PM

Oh Happy May Day, Happy Beltane
I shall remember you all as I burn my fire and incense this evening
Guide me and keep me from hurting others
Bless the ones I love as well as the ones I don't
and here is my meditation that I created in Candle Magic class for today:

I decided to focus on a Beltaine ritual because over the past few years this date has become a point of significant events in my family...beginning with my Grandmother's death on May 1, 2003...to be followed by the birth of my sister's son on May 1, 2004...I also just found out that my husband's grandfather had passed on May 1 several years back...this year we have another pregnant one in the family and her shower will be May 1...to me, this is like the spirit world calling this date to my attention! And with May 1 in the not so far future, I can plan this ritual to soon be put into use.
I am currently in the process of building a labyrinth next to (behind) my garden, and I would like to make a large area in the center where I can have my bonfire. I love the idea of using the limbs we have begun gathering since the earliest parts of spring for the fire...we have been doing it with the kids with the purpose of clearing the yard so that it can be mowed, which I guess wouldn't be an issue if this setting would be based upon the timeframe you described in the assignment...but in doing so, I feel that it unites purpose and practicality with Spirituality...
I will probably use sage leaves in and over the bonfire, to clear negativity from the area and to symbolize spiritual purification. In addition, I will have a special set of windchimes that I am constructing myself, as another bringer of "positive energy", both via sound and in their shininess which will reflect the light from the fire. I will also burn some Magnolia incense, as I love its lively scent, and I connect this with my ancient spirits in the light.
I will probably use this chant I just composed for my ritual as I wind my way through the labyrinth to the fire in the center and back again:
Spirit of Love, Spirit of Light;
Ever Burning through this Flight...
Give me Vision, Thus to See;
What is and isn't Meant to Be...
Dark and light may take their Turns;
Each One from the Other Learns...
Never does the Flame burn out;
As Darkness brings more Light About...
Guide my Way, Protect my Vines;
As All of Life There Entertwines.~~~

MockingbirdOxygen

May 12th, 2005, 01:49 PM

okay, the dream I had last night...definitely could have had some biblical undertone, but what does this mean? Were You trying to reach me? Or was it just my mind trying to work things out? I don't want to jump to conclusions, and I don't want to feel that I am being called back to a former religion just because it seems that I have several other friends on here who tend to be leaning that way. I need to know things for myself. But then again, that being said, I know that I have always had my own conclusions of how things work. And I have never given up the idea of God, but rather incorporated my beliefs together with what seems to feel right to me. I don't mean, in the physical sense, but in the sense of ... I can't explain it... does this mean that I am not on any one Path? Do I have to be? No, I think I am. This Path is my Own. But I am connected to every other living thing in it. So when I pray, and I say to myself, "I am praying the the one true Creator and Loving Spirit" and I pray to keep me from all harm and evil, am I selling out? Doesn't it still count? Is it like sending a letter "To Whom it May Concern"...if the letter contains the information needed, it will get to whom it needs to reach? Such are my prayers, in my mind...
If I'm wrong, will God know what I meant in my heart? I can't lie and say I believe the exact same way as everyone else. All I can say is "I don't know". All I know is when I do wrong, I know it, because of how it makes me feel inside. And when I do good, I feel that too. That is my Spirit, right? Would I even be thinking it through this much if I were an evil person? Why would I care? There is too much to think about. And then I just walk away and just Be.
When I woke up from one of those dreams last night, and thinking it might have been You trying to talk to me...
I kept thinking in my mind "God helps those who help themselves"...again and again...and then I had this inkling...this *AHA* moment, when it fit in with the energy/magic... it is alright, isn't it? I mean, if you're using the energy, the crystals, the candles, to help yourself be in contact with your spiritual being...if you're not expecting magic to be an easy answer...if you're working on yourself and not just trying to control others or something...then no way, no way can God say that's an evil craft. He put these things on earth for us to use, just as he put the fruits of the earth here for us to work the land...why isn't that the same thing? Well, some might say that surely God and Jesus...just faith would be enough, that you wouldn't need those "spiritual tools"? Oh, but no...God doesn't expect us just to pray that Food will pop up out of the ground without putting our tool to it, right? Why would harvesting spiritual energy be any different? As long as one is careful in the energies one works with, just as one if careful to reap the food and toss the weeds...And so in this conclusion, after much thought last night, I rest for now. And who knows tomorrow I might see things differently, but today is Today.

Earthy

May 14th, 2005, 03:49 PM

MockingbirdOxygen

May 14th, 2005, 04:54 PM

Oh Boofy, i pray that one day you learn to trust again :hugz:
I don't know your pain from the past but i certainly feel it.
If ever you push me away, please know that i will always be here when you need me :hugz:
You are loved hon :)
:hugz: thank you. I'm not sure if I even know my own pain or understand it. I'm certain some of it is self-imposed punishment. But what I'm not sure of is why.

*looks up to the sky* maybe they can tell me.

Earthy

May 14th, 2005, 05:11 PM

Self imposed punishment is hard to let go of, i know :hugz:
Pray to who you feel most comfortable with hon..i pray to the christian God :hugz:

MockingbirdOxygen

May 16th, 2005, 01:02 PM

Who are you?
Do I already know?
...the coincidence, with me hearing that line of the song "Eagles' wings"...btw is is eagles' like more than one eagle with a collective bunch of wings, or is it eagle's, like just one pair of wings from one eagle?... ah well I guess that doesn't matter, I'd just like to get it grammatically correct as much as I can...anyway...at this rate I shall never get off the starting block...
then coming across the quote that necrosapien posted from Mark the Christian's website, about the eagles' wings...well... I just have to believe that was some sort of sign, but what it means I'm not sure. Is God telling me I'm his? Or, since I was in my labyrinth/meditation little sacred space I've made in my garden, complete with triangular shaped spiritual burning pit...yada yada yada...was He telling me this is okay, it all fits together anyway?
I read some of the things in necrosapien's other posts and it also started me thinking about these things...
If he's the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end, then it's all one neverending circle and we are all inside of it, right?
Are we the center? Are we the area inside? What about the circumference?
Not having two Masters makes sense until I really think about it...why are we intended to have two parents then? Would I love my mother and hate my father? Not likely. Maybe have a stronger bond with the other, but not hate one. What about the aunts and uncles that step in and help out when it takes a different approach than what the parent can provide at that time? Couldn't that be where the other gods and goddesses fit in? And yet they are all related, all one with the common goal?
Why does it also seem that it makes love have limits? There is supposedly no limit to God's love. If I am in God's image, why wouldn't my love also be limitless? Wouldn't I be able to love more than one Master?
I need to sort through again because I came here with more thoughts on this subject but it is beginning to overlap now... :woah:

MockingbirdOxygen

May 18th, 2005, 03:04 PM

I pray for the strength and self discipline to get done the things I need to get done and roll myself away from this computer screen...seriously. Amen. :wah2:
whoops I don't wanna be a whiner. :toofless: Thank You. Amen.

BlackMagicalCat

May 18th, 2005, 08:09 PM

Aunt Boo,bless your heart,your questions are hard,and I wish I had an answer,but I got questions of my own,but one thing I do know,God loves me and always will,and he loves you and always will,I dont need to understand it all,like a child doesnt need to understand everything right away,God just picks us up like a big daddy,and says,,,,,,,,,,Trust me my child,I will not forsake you or lead you wrong.God is very patient and kind,and long suffering,his love lasts forever.

Bless you,your servant ,John

MockingbirdOxygen

May 29th, 2005, 12:29 PM

Looking at azzeenasman's post, it hits me: no wonder I have such a hard time believing sometimes...I cannot remember ever having had that, the daddy thing...the man whom I've always thought was my dad...mom and dad divorced while she was pregnant with me, and he never wanted much to do with us, even when he did come around, he was detached, and definitely never took care of things... now that I'm an adult, I can see that it was his own problems that were in the way of a relationship, but still...you can't help but stay conditioned to not trust in a dad, when that's all you've ever known...
:(

MockingbirdOxygen

May 29th, 2005, 12:38 PM

But I'm so tired of not knowing, of fearing the unknown that comes after death...

last night, I had an episode where I thought I was dying, and I couldn't escape the fear...

because then, I thought, even if I'm not dying tonight, I'm going to one day...and I have

the feeling it may be soon... God, how do I stop myself from going crazy over this while I

am still alive?

:ack: Does anyone have all the answers?

Am I so afraid because I know that inside I am an evil person?

If I were truly evil, wouldn't I not have a conscience enough to even worry that I am evil?

Does anything even matter?

Did you hear my prayers last night?

Regardless of what happens today or the next, I am very thankful for the things that I have been blessed with thus far;
My loving husband and children

My physical needs generally being met (except for whatever's going on right now... :shaker: )

My crystals

My online family

My Pets

My home and transportation

I don't need anything else...why do I still need this reassurance?

Spiritual Reassurance?

I remember one time, I got up in front of the church and sang "Blessed Assurance", and I thought I was assured at the time, but looking back now, I can see that maybe I just thought that I was...but wasn't...

Earthy

May 29th, 2005, 02:02 PM

Wow..i think my problem with God comes down to negative male influences too. It certainly sways the way you look at male figures.
Mine was distant, allof..and so i too, tend to see God that way too.
But i believe it will get better.:hugz:
Oh, and you're not evil..we may make wrong decisions, wrong choices in life..but that doesn't make us evil. The truly evil ones are those who look back without regret.
Love you Boofy :hugz:

BlackMagicalCat

May 29th, 2005, 03:46 PM

My soul finds rest in God alone,my salvation comes from him.Psalm 62 : 1

I will insrtuct you and teach you in the way you should go,I will counsel you and watch over you.
Psalm 32:8

Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame .......Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved .Romans 10 :11 and 13

Lord ,bless this precious soul,Aunt Boo,only you have the wisdom to know her completey,and to understand all the questions of her heart,so give her peace from you and a clear mind,give her soul rest,and guide her continually even through dark valleys that we must all walk through from time to time,in Jesus Holy name I ask this ,amen.

DragonMan58

June 8th, 2005, 09:06 AM

I need to know things for myself. But then again, that being said, I know that I have always had my own conclusions of how things work. And I have never given up the idea of God, but rather incorporated my beliefs together with what seems to feel right to me. I don't mean, in the physical sense, but in the sense of ... I can't explain it... does this mean that I am not on any one Path? Do I have to be? No, I think I am. This Path is my Own. But I am connected to every other living thing in it.

I hope you don't mind my intrusion into your sacred space, but I read the whole of this post (as well as everything before it) and wept. I felt so much confusion and doubt, and feel for you. I am coming from the other direction, having fallen from His path and trying to find another. I am not sure I will find it here, but feel I have been attracted for some reason. Unlike azzeenasman, whose faith is blinding, I do not feel I am here to shine a light into the darkness (and I am sorry if I have done him an injustice), but to find my path. But enough about my thoughts, this is your place, and I hope you find your truth.

I'm sure it's been said many times before, but you are not alone. :huddle:

MockingbirdOxygen

June 13th, 2005, 03:31 PM

just checking in...

thank You for keeping things on an even keel for me...

thank You for the visions I was shown this weekend, and thank you for all the confirming coincidences...

May I remember to spread the kindness... :)

BlackMagicalCat

June 14th, 2005, 02:40 PM

Thankyou Lord for my friend AunBoo,I feel connected to her somehow,if there is any way I can be a blessing to her,please show me,and I will do it.Keep her safe,watch over her soul,and walk with her forever.amen.

MockingbirdOxygen

June 21st, 2005, 01:06 PM

I am so thankful for my friend azzeenasman, as well... to whom I too feel connected... :hugz:

I am also offering thanks to the heavens above for the signs about the dentist and getting me to call at just the right timing, to where I was able to get in without a wait... I know I was getting help from the other side now...

And thanks for the dreams I was given which seem to offer some more spiritual reassurance... please give me the knowledge to continue interpreting and the ability to see more clearly if there are messages I am supposed to be getting, and to not blur the line between my dreams and wishful thinking... but if I am being given these "knowings" for ascertainment of a spiritual side, that would be a most gracious gift that I appreciate.

MockingbirdOxygen

July 14th, 2005, 12:07 PM

I fight so hard to resist being put in a box, and to resist being given a label by OTHERS...

So why, oh why, do I stress over myself not fitting into any one certain spiritual path? ...

No; I should let it be as it is. You will reveal the answers along the way.

Nighthawk

July 14th, 2005, 12:16 PM

You will find your path sooner than you think. (or so I am told)

MockingbirdOxygen

July 16th, 2005, 10:04 PM

:hugz: Thanks, Nighthawk.:flowers: And I appreciate that you talked me down off my "ledge" this week...
:)

BrigidMoon

July 16th, 2005, 10:32 PM

:hugz: Thanks, Nighthawk.:flowers: And I appreciate that you talked me down off my "ledge" this week...
:)

Nighthawk rocks.

I know how you feel, Auntie. At times I feel lost with my path. But I know although it may be in limbo for a while, I will learn something. :)

:smoochypo

Earthy

July 17th, 2005, 02:34 PM

It is sometimes in the darkness that we see our way :hugz:

Boogins

July 17th, 2005, 03:57 PM

Blessings to you--like Earthy, your path speaks from your heart, even if you yourself don't always feel it.

MockingbirdOxygen

July 24th, 2005, 03:07 PM

Thanks :hugz:

MockingbirdOxygen

July 24th, 2005, 03:23 PM

Est-ce-qu'il y a chelque chose plus que je pourrais faire?
Pourvu que je crois, Rencontreré-j' un esprit de la mère?
D'ou vient mon volonté; chaque jour qui me le donne?
Si j'ecris les mots, est-ce-que ca veux dire qu'ils soyent mons?
Dans le noir de la nuit, dans le bleu de ciel
Qu'elle soit un peu de moi, y que je sois d'elle.

MockingbirdOxygen

October 13th, 2005, 03:33 PM

"I am not a body. I am free. For I am still as God created me." - ACIM

Help me to make the right choices of forgiveness... please don't let it be too hard :bundled:

MockingbirdOxygen

October 14th, 2005, 12:31 PM

"You're not really there. If I think you are guilty or the cause of the problem, and if I made you up, then the imagined guilt and fear must be in me. Since the separation from God never occurred, I forgive "both" of us for what we haven't really done. Now there is only innocence, and I join with the Holy Spirit in peace."- ACIM/DU

:ghostie: :halohead: :ghostie:

MockingbirdOxygen

October 20th, 2005, 02:00 PM

This chair is nothing.
This desk is nothing.
These pants are nothing.
That bed is nothing.
That computer is nothing.
That street is nothing.
That tree is nothing.
That truck is nothing.
That house is nothing.
That rock is nothing.
That town is nothing.
:weirdsmil

MockingbirdOxygen

October 21st, 2005, 01:40 PM

"I've given everything I see in this room (wherever) all the meaning that it has for me." -ACIM

I've given this chair all the meaning it has for me.
I've given this window all the meaning it has for me.
I've given this funky thing all the meaning it has for me.
I've given this mouse all the meaning it has for me.
I've given that speaker all the meaning it has for me.
I've given that guitar all the meaning it has for me.
I've given that air cleaner all the meaning it has for me.
I've given that recorder all the meaning it has for me.
I've given that curtain all the meaning it has for me.
I've given that lamp all the meaning it has for me.
I've given the Ellen show all the meaning it has for me.
I've given that tree all the meaning it has for me.
I've given that truck all the meaning it has for me.
I've given that microphone stand all the meaning it has for me.
I've given those bongos all the meaning they have for me.
I've given that amp all the meaning it has for me.
I've given that snare all the meaning it has for me.
I've given that highway all the meaning it has for me.
:2G:

MockingbirdOxygen

October 22nd, 2005, 12:52 PM

"I do not understand anything I see in this room (street, from this window, in this place)" -ACIM

I do not understand this table.
I do not understand this computer.
I do not understand this lamp.
I do not understand this TV.
I do not understand this window.
I do not understand this wall.
I do not understand this phone.
I do not understand this recliner.
I do not understand this curtain.
I do not understand that blade of grass.
I do not understand that broken down car.
I do not understand that air conditioner.
I do not understand that fence.
I do not understand that tree.
I do not understand that neighbor.
I do not understand that wreath.
:woot:

MockingbirdOxygen

October 23rd, 2005, 04:01 PM

"This thought about ____ does not mean anything. It is like the things I see in this room...on this street, etc" -ACIM

This thought about good karma does not mean anything.
This thought about candy does not mean anything.
This thought about a bad childhood experience does not mean anything.
This thought about winning the lottery does not mean anything.
This thought about a nice, sunny day does not mean anything.
This thought about Yahoo does not mean anything.
This thought about eating does not mean anything.
This thought about doing the dishes does not mean anything. :nuhuh:

Boogins

October 23rd, 2005, 08:25 PM

:hugz:

MockingbirdOxygen

October 24th, 2005, 12:40 PM

I am not worried about money for the reasons I think.
I am not obsessed with food for the reason I think.
I am not jealous over petty things for the reason I think.
I am not afraid of death for the reason I think, and even though this seems larger than the other upsets, there actually are no small upsets. They all disturb my mind the same... therefore, I cannot keep this form of upset and let the others go.
:whatgives

MockingbirdOxygen

December 3rd, 2005, 09:46 AM

Help me to remember who I am, always in all ways.

"What Would Love Do Now?" - Conversations with God

Boogins

December 3rd, 2005, 04:38 PM

Hang in there, hon... you have no idea how important YOU are. :hugz:

MockingbirdOxygen

January 3rd, 2006, 08:31 AM

Wow... I haven't posted in a while... yet I feel that I've been making great spiritual progress... must be because I'm doing more reading and meditating than posting!
:)

***

nvm _wiz_

MockingbirdOxygen

January 6th, 2006, 02:14 PM

Please keep both my kitty Sennefer and our online Sennefer safe and well... also, thank you for all the signs and affirmations.
May all of my friends, online and off have peace, love, and prosperity.
Maybe I should not stop there, either. Let the whole world be filled with love, peace, and prosperity. Bless those who have harmed me in any way, as well, for without them I may not have grown.
With Gratitude,
AuntBoo

MockingbirdOxygen

January 10th, 2006, 05:38 PM

O
†

MockingbirdOxygen

January 13th, 2006, 05:49 PM

Thank you for everything in my life.

I am so glad the babysitting thing went well today.

Thank you for the insights.

Send Rach the affection she needs from her hubby.

Help Ammber Dawn figure out whatever it is she needs to figure out, if she needs to, or just give her peace if she's on the right path, please.

æ

MockingbirdOxygen

January 29th, 2006, 08:53 AM

Keep watch over my family and friends, both online and off, on my list, and anyone I may have left out. Give them all peace and let their lives be filled with love and light. Help me to continue the forgiveness process. Thank you for allowing the hurt in my life so that I might grow. Please, help me to remember when times feel sad that they won't last, and are just there to give more depth to the good times. I've finally been remembering to think that thought when I feel a little down, so thank you, for allowing me that peace, and please let me access it even more next time. More steps in the direction of Peace and Harmony, for myself, and for the world.

With Gratitude and Love,
Auntie Boo

~~~

DG
WB
PG
BP
GC
JB
S
JA
JA
AW
NH
WW
AW
TS
H
MB
LG
DG
DA

MockingbirdOxygen

January 31st, 2006, 12:27 PM

Peace for Ammber Dawn and her family and all of those affected by the recent string of deaths among them _wiz_

Peace for Hymnia for the things in her life, and success for BP, for her to get things going, and also for the others so deserving who are waiting upon it.
Thank you,
~
Me

MockingbirdOxygen

February 24th, 2006, 11:34 AM

Of course, I know better than to let things get me down... so we weren't selected to be showcased on the GBF thing... so what? It will probably turn into something better anyway, like the first time they had turned is down, and I used my emotions to write a new song... that ironically, they played next time...
I know all of this...
but what bothers me...
is that it seemed to bother hubby...
he says it is no big deal, but I think that just means that it is...
but we're dealing with that, and now, I see that as I was writing lyrics for Amanda, I was also pre-writing them to myself.
Thank you for that.
Thank you for the insights.
Thank you for the pain, because I know it's a growth thing.
Thank you for allowing me to be born a weirdo; it's the one thing I've got.
Thank you for the signs along the path, and the gifts I've had all along that are just now being revealed to me.

Thank you for just now making the flashlight jump off the table and scare the shit out of me.
That's all the confirmation I needed, I guess... lol... thank you, thank you.

These words were those I wrote for Lilith:
"I have my share of ups and downs, but they won't get the best of me;
I'll step up on the stones they've thrown, to walk across the sea
Forgiving my own faults; true worth resides within
So we learn from our mistakes, or tear down and start again
Should I not believe I'm beautiful? I fit me perfectly
Where I am is where I'm meant to be, or there I would not be."
and now, a continuation of sorts:
"The hardest thing is asking to be given what I need,
even when my wants are not the same...
Before the words have left my lips, You know,
& help is on the way.
The hardest thing is not knowing what to ask for when I pray
And stepping back because the universe will know just what to say
Yeah, help is on the way..."

MockingbirdOxygen

March 2nd, 2006, 04:48 PM

I know you will show me why, so I don't really even need to ask... but ... why I am so weary and tired... why I seem unable to get anything done these days... my spirit feels as though it's dragging, and yet still I am in love with my life and my beautiful family... this is unusual... to feel like crap, and still be happy... is this how it's supposed to happen, when you start to be enlightened? I think I am beginning to finally understand... thank you.

Keep everyone safe and loved. Let all find their true joy within. Let the world be filled with peace and joy. Every single person, allow them to be fulfilled from the heart, and even find contentment among the trying times. It's not impossible, this I know. Someone has to finally ask for it, that's all. Or to remember. Help me to continue feeling it. ~

MockingbirdOxygen

April 7th, 2006, 08:48 PM

The Nowhere and the NOWhere are one and the same; the world is a beautiful place. I create my life with my thoughts. I am loved, and I am loving . :uhhuhuh:
Hey, I love you, me. You. :hugz:

MockingbirdOxygen

May 14th, 2006, 06:21 PM

Thank you. :hugz:

MockingbirdOxygen

May 16th, 2006, 06:38 PM

:heartthro

Bless my world and everything it touches. Amen. Thank You.

MockingbirdOxygen

May 16th, 2006, 06:41 PM

p.s. Forgive me for not being able to stop looking at the MWad threads. I don't know what's gotten into me... It's ok, right? Certainly. Thanks
:hugz:

Boof :weirdsmil

MockingbirdOxygen

June 2nd, 2006, 12:13 PM

:hugz: Thank You for my Blessings~~~

MockingbirdOxygen

June 4th, 2006, 10:57 PM

:heartthro

Thank You

MockingbirdOxygen

June 12th, 2006, 11:17 PM

:heartthro

Thank you for my blessings ~
Thank you for the darkness, for the contrast, that I might even more appreciate the light...

Please help me keep the positive energies flowing, in my life and in those other's whose lives are touched in any way by me...

Also...

:)
_wiz_
Please send the pozzies to Sher Bear so her energy will be better :hugz:

MockingbirdOxygen

June 12th, 2006, 11:19 PM

oh, and last but not least, keep watch over my sister's family and protect them from the weather, too...
:hugz:

MockingbirdOxygen

June 14th, 2006, 02:22 PM

Thank you, higher self, for inspiring me to compose this message to myself last month on futureme.org. You/I must have known I would really be needing it right now. It just saved me when I went and opened my email a few minutes ago... titled, "waaasup?"
Dear FutureMe,
Hang in there. Stay with the love and the light.
:hugz:

Another note to my future self:

You've got it, now apply it!

MockingbirdOxygen

August 8th, 2006, 12:44 PM

RIP Sean, Kendall, and Al...

Let only comforting energies flow through me to their loved ones as I attempt to find the right words... I felt so goofy at the funeral home last night... of course, no one ever knows what to say - but I felt I kept tripping over my tongue... it was awkward to be there, considering there is a whole web of ex bfs and ties to the past... yet it would have felt awkward not to have been there, either... so please let my presence have done some good, Amen.

Oh and help me to be at ease when I take my son to see his classmate, once again doing funeral home thing when we go today. Let there be peace and comfort as much as possible for all involved. Amen.

:heartthro

MockingbirdOxygen

August 21st, 2006, 02:26 PM

When short lived transformations die
You will still be here
When butterflies go flitting by
You will still be here
When passing fancies pass away
You will still be here
When in doubt of what to say
You will still be here
When growth has come through something strange
You will still be here
When giving thanks for every change
We will still be here

:fpeace:

MockingbirdOxygen

September 22nd, 2006, 05:28 PM

Even when it is hard, help me to know there are higher reasons ...

Let me flow with the negative parts only to rise above them...

and help me to feel love for those who only hate me because they don't understand me... wouldn't I be the same as them, had I been born in their shoes? So easy to say, but so hard to do... please let everything always work out in a manner that is in the best interest of all involved...
Love,
Boofy :heartthro

ps- Thank you for my wonderful loving hubby and kiddos

MockingbirdOxygen

March 16th, 2007, 12:09 AM

MockingbirdOxygen

January 13th, 2008, 11:26 AM

Anything is Possible:

Thoughts are Things; I choose the Good Ones.

:ballonsmi:woot::ballonsmi

MockingbirdOxygen

March 28th, 2010, 02:55 PM

Haha. I did need to come back to read this...

Thank you, higher self, for inspiring me to compose this message to myself last month on futureme.org. You/I must have known I would really be needing it right now. It just saved me when I went and opened my email a few minutes ago... titled, "waaasup?"
:hugz:
Dear FutureMe,
Hang in there. Stay with the love and the light. Another note to my future self:

You've got it, now apply it!
so you ask someone be treated gently... pray for them... cover for them... and then the very person you helped them to patch things up with... turns on you and wants things a certain way so they can quit work... hmmm... ok well Big Guy you're in charge... help me not to turn into something I'm not... and remember who I was before I tried to be a toned down version of myself... in order to be a better mother... to protect, to take away the violence in the games he plays at dad's, the no-rules place...which ironically... also turned my son against me a little bit...

ahheheh... "We are the Champions" playing in the background... yes no matter what the outcome in the material world, we know this on the inside don't we... Thank You.
http://www.indiaimagine.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/maa_durga_indiaimagine05.jpg in Love.

"That's what she said."

http://mysticwicks.com/showpost.php?p=1544269&postcount=1

St. Roch n' Roll.

Thank You for the reminders :crown::bubbles::bouncysmi:yourock:

MockingbirdOxygen

April 6th, 2010, 02:59 PM

MockingbirdOxygen

April 6th, 2010, 03:05 PM

Good Lord, help me to forgive those who would do me harm.
Truly help me find a place of love in my heart... I do not wish
to be like them. Lift me and mine upward and onward, so that
the bad vibes miss, having no place to dock. Let me create of circle
of warmth around those strong enough to accept me as I am. Cast out
those who misunderstand in their own jealousy and misread me... bless them
and give them a better life so they have better things to do than keep hatin' on

me. :hahugh:

Bless my online friends with whom I've lost contact... Thank you for all I've been given. I even Thank You for the real life people who are hard to deal with... I am certain I will come out better for it in the long run... I just can't see it currently.

:weirdsmil :smileroll :uhhuhuh:

MockingbirdOxygen

April 10th, 2010, 11:37 PM

Thank You for guidance on my path :heartthro

Thank You for the many blessings I've sometimes overlooked

Thank You for signs

Thank You for letting the Paramahansa Yogananda Autobiography find it's way into my hands ... and heart.

Rama, Love, Oneness...

Conquering myself and the Ego ... that's a tough piece of cake.

Requests...

requests are met before they are even uttered, & sometimes before they've even made themselves known...

Keep the Love Alive.
Be with Hannah and her family.
Bridge the Gaps between religions and spiritualities... with Love.
Help to remember who it is we really are.

Babiji... can you hear me?

:heartthro:heartthro:heartthro

Gotta love the light bulb moments when they come... reading my quote from a couple years back, it seems that those real life situations that get sent my way are actually ways to work out and overcome the ego... and to see if I can live the way of staying focused on the positive, instead of just reading and quoting it. Doing it is so much more of a challenge! I heard a quote on the radio today about being a lump of clay, and how to become something the lump is pushed and pressed alot. Please help me remember this in the heat of the moment. Thanks for all my blessings and challenges.
:weirdsmil:hahugh::uhhuhuh:

MockingbirdOxygen

April 22nd, 2010, 02:07 PM

I need to know if I am only receiving signs in order to help... and send positive vibes, or am I also to play a part on the sidelines? Sometimes I get such totally mixed signals that I can't tell. I remember the warnings from past friends... and in my naive optimism I almost wandered too close... and then, finally, one day the feeling was gone. After the cord cutting, suddenly, there she was. What does this mean? If anything? Amber says no, and to be careful... shield myself. I guess I am going back to not contemplating these things ... I may need your help to do so. Amen.
:weirdsmil

MockingbirdOxygen

June 23rd, 2010, 01:09 PM

The Salt is in the Air
The Salt is in the Surf
The Salt is in my Body
and the Salt is in the Earth

Max salt, I use thee as protection and guidance. In Love and Light, Amen.

This salt protects my family
This salt protects us all
This salt can help or hurt you
Really... it's your call.

:thumbsup:
~Aum~
eta: Hmm... reminders again...
Don't forget... Rama, God of Love and Light... it WASN'T just when they were kids, she put a hickey on his neck when they were in their twenties, because "he didn't come to her party", or just to spite ME? ;) THAT part's not normal... so how do I forgive it/forget it? Please... tell me that.

~Ong Namo Guru Dev Namo~

MockingbirdOxygen

June 23rd, 2010, 01:14 PM

Almost forgot the infinite Thank Yous for the protection yesterday, and PW's experience, lol. :thumbsup:

MockingbirdOxygen

June 23rd, 2010, 01:17 PM