How to stop anger

[Adrenaline Junkie]

I'm very mad right now. It's a long story, but I hate being mad. Does anyone know any chants, spells (whatever) to help calm yourself down when you're angry?

I know anger is a human emotion, and we must experience it at times, however I find being angry for a longer period of time is negative and really screws up your judgement and intentions.

[Myst]

I prefer to be angry for awhile - stomp around, scream, even throw things, then I can feel better and relax :)

[Lilu]

This was put together for grieving but I think you could probably use it for anger or at least calming down :)

http://www.geocities.com/laughingkoala/columbine3.html

Also, if you can get your hands on some rose quartz, it is a wonderful healer, and "softener" and resonates with the heart chakra to promote loving energy and feelings. I find it's very useful to wear, carry or hold when I am angry.

I have also found that reading this following passage out aloud - as often as necessary - helps me to calm down, and just focus on being one with the Universe. I'm not sure if it'll be any use for you, but I'll link to it anyway!

http://www.geocities.com/aerinleigh/lotus.html

You might also find this article interesting, there are some nifty things like "anger releasing bath" recipe, and tea, and some other things.

http://www.geocities.com/aerinleigh/witchway/anger.html

You could also try doing a search online for stuff like anger management, there are probably plenty of sites out there with advice on dealing with anger, along with some exercises to try.

BB
Lilu

[Adrenaline Junkie]

The thing is Willow, when I do things when I'm mad I usually do things I regret. I usually am really nasty to everyone, and then when I'm calm the person is still mad at me, all because I said things in the heat of the moment.

Thanks Lilu for the resources. I'm looking into them right now.

[Lilu]

Originally posted by paranoid punk
The thing is Willow, when I do things when I'm mad I usually do things I regret. I usually am really nasty to everyone, and then when I'm calm the person is still mad at me, all because I said things in the heat of the moment.


heh. Been there... which is why that lotus meditation has been great for me, but then I am really drawn to both Kuan Yin (who is associated with the lotus) and to Isis (also known to be associated with it) so it has a personal touch for me.

BB and hope those links give you some ideas!

Lilu

[Lavender]

When I'm angry, I force myself to walk away from that situation or person. I would sit outside & look at the sky...no matter what the weather or time of day. And I would take a LOT of deep breaths. I count backwards from 50 to 0 at each breath. This gives me a bit of space so I don't do something that I'll regret later. I may still be angry but at least I'm a bit calmer & not as likely to lash out.

[Swanspirit]

This is GREAT PAGE on anger.......
http://eqi.org/anger.htm
and remember anger is very healthy........ just not too much.........as in anything .....of a protective emotion....... the problem with too much anger is that you cannot use it an accurate measurement for assessing when you are hurting........
Your stress levels are involved as well..........so over all abilty to relax is very helpful......I used to teach anger management groups to people ....... and one of the things we did was a DEEP relaxation response.....
Also using large muscle groups uses substances the body stores and builds up in stress and anger responses..... so any exercises that use large muscle groups ......running lifting......playing sports.....can be very releasing.....
My son use to hammer nails into an old tree stump.....hmmmmmmm I might take a pic of that.... and he eventually ran marathons .... here and abroad.....
You can ( you dont ever HAVE TO)think of anger as a protective device..... and make friends with it ......so you can discard what you dont want and take a look at it and say OHH that old anger kicks in when I am dealing with this situation........
Somtimes it is helpful to look at and identify patterns ........ for instance what are the things that you KNOW kick in the worst anger
responses...... and what is the root (pagans just love roots LOL) of it....
Also very important ...... is to separate the feeling....anger.... from the action... puts you back in charge
;) where you want to be
Love and Light
Swannie

[Hope]

Ok you are going to laugh but it works for me......

Blow bubbles, the soap kind, and if you can't pretend to blow bubbles. It only takes a minute or two.

I read somewhere once that the blowing releases some chemical in your brain (could be a lie...I don't have the article) and helps calm you.

Works for me and I make my 11 and 13 yr old do it and it works even when they are ready to have a hoe down brawl (if ya know what I mean)

love
hope

[slvr_phoenix]

Anger is a funny thing.

When I want to release anger, I usually do it by taking a moment to force myself to see the beauty in everything around me. After all, it's hard to be angry when you're fascinated. The pattern in a carpet, the shapes in the clouds, a particular tree branch, the pictures in the bumps on the ceiling, or anything that's just plain interesting or beautiful helps me to calm down.

Sometimes though anger can be a useful tool. It increases the adrenaline flow, giving us speed and strength as well as speeding up the mind to think faster. The key is to recognize the anger and accept it without letting it become who you are. Like keeping it behind a mental window, where you can look at it and benefit from it without letting it get control of you. Just remember to release it when you're done. :)

And when all else fails, just let it out. Keeping it in past it's usefulness is harmful to yourself and can be harmful to others around you. Just be sure that you're not going to hurt anyone when you let it out. Find positive ways to release it, like going at a punching bag, hitting a pillow, jogging, or baking. Heh heh. Whatever works for you.

[MammaStar]

When I get angry, my favorite way to release it is to got hit some balls around. Whether it's during an actual softball game or at the batting cages or even in the back yard. When I start to become annoyed at work, I first try the old stand by "take a deep breath & count to ten". That usually works, for the most part. If not, I usually head out back to our factory & scream really loud, cause you can't hear me with all the machinery running. :D

But I do indeed, find myself in situations where I am really REALLY mad & none of these "remedy's" are available or I just won't focus on them. That's when I scream & if I ever can get Eschallet to post to this, he can tell you I SCREAM LOUD. We had a blow up over the weekend where I just acted out because my anger was mixed with confusion & fear. That's when I don't like to be angry. Adding the other 2 feelings just makes it a WHOLE lot worse.

Hey, wasn't there an article in one of the recent newsletters about Anger management? I forgot which issue, but I'm sure Kaylara could find it. ;)

[Swanspirit]

Works for me!!!!!!!!!! LOL and then i get to have a clean house too..... gardening is a wonderful thing too....... the earth can take whatever energy I have in turmoil ....... and transform it into some kind of adjustment....... for some people writing is good ...........
The thing is ...... I think as in all matters of "adaptation" that each of us work out our own solution with help and support from loved ones ( not even necessarily family ).......
And one other thought....... investigate anger issues when NOT angry ........ and have calm look at what your triggers and issues are when they arent being blown out of proportion by being hurt and upset.........
Just a suggestion..........
Love and PEACE
Swannie

[Myst]

Originally posted by paranoid punk
The thing is Willow, when I do things when I'm mad I usually do things I regret. I usually am really nasty to everyone, and then when I'm calm the person is still mad at me, all because I said things in the heat of the moment.


Yup, me too. That's why I don't talk to someone I'm mad at. I get away from them, then take some time out to get mad about - yell, or stomp if I have to.. whatever... then I wait awhile before I talk to them again so I can think clearly.

I think it's important to accept that we get angry and be angry and let it pass rather then try to stop it, but that's just me :)

[slvr_phoenix]

Originally posted by Willow Raven
I think it's important to accept that we get angry and be angry and let it pass rather then try to stop it, but that's just me :)
I think it all depends on the situation and the person. I can make cases for both ways. So to each their own. :)

[Myst]

Originally posted by slvr_phoenix

I think it all depends on the situation and the person. I can make cases for both ways. So to each their own. :)

Yup, very true :)

[Adrenaline Junkie]

Thanks for the helpful info everyone.

Very helpful. ;)

[Lilu]

I had this sent to me on a mailing list I'm on - the website is kind of hard to read, but the meditation looks interesting:

Pele Meditation on Transforming Anger
http://www.geocities.com/ourladyoftheyuba/ps7.html

BB
Lilu