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View Full Version : Co-Sleeping Cramping my style



LadyTrinity
January 8th, 2005, 03:26 PM
:)

MorningDove030202
January 8th, 2005, 03:35 PM
My sleeping style is on my Tummy and lately my son wants to co sleep with my bf and I. It's okay some nights but all the time? Im starting to wake up with aches and pains because Im not sleeping in any good positions. Im scared that my bf and I will roll over onto the baby. Co- Sleeping is really giving me body sores and cramps. What can I do? :yikes:


Hey, I co-sleep too, but mainly that was due to lack of bedrooms. About a year ago we bought a bigger house, and we are trying to get him to stay in his crib, in his own room, LOL. First, how old is your son? After I weaned Vincent (at 12 months) I started to put him in the crib at his bed time, and then when we went to bed we would bring him with us, so the crib was involved. Now he wakes up at about 4am and climbs out of his crib and yells for me until I get him, cause for saftey reasons I lock his bedroom door at night. ( I wouldn't want him to wander around the house while we are asleep.)

Can you just have the crib in your bedroom? That might be a more comfortable alturnative than actualy co-sleeping. It is though very convient while brestfeeding. We never rolled over on him when he was little, though when he was older, dad would sometimes get one of Vincent's feet under him, but Vincent would cry out and I'd remove the foot from under dad, LOL. Oh, and keep the toe nails trimmed, or the kicking will become very painful!

I duno if this answered your question, but I hope it helps!
Dove

LadyTrinity
January 8th, 2005, 03:42 PM
:)

soilsigh aingeal
January 8th, 2005, 03:45 PM
That would be my suggestion. I don't co sleep, I never did and I've always refused to let them sleep with me. The most I ever did was let my daughter fall asleep in my bed with me and then I'd move her because I just can not sleep if I have to worry about rolling over the wrong way. All because she got sick and I felt bad for her... It took a couple of painful nights but she ended up going back in her bed fine.

Valkie
January 8th, 2005, 04:12 PM
If I'm waking up because the baby took my spot, he's back in his crib. At that point, he's usually in such a deep sleep that he doesn't even realize that I'm moving him. And don't worry about squishing him.... believe me, he'll wake you up :D

LadyTrinity
January 8th, 2005, 09:15 PM
:)

Ceres
January 9th, 2005, 09:39 AM
the one thing i think remains always true about kids is that as soon as u think u got em figured out, they change things all around on ya. ;)

diamondtiger
January 9th, 2005, 10:53 AM
I made the mistake of co sleeping with my son when he was sick at about 4 months old. Yes, I said it... MISTAKE. Before this he would fall asleep in his crib and be just fine. When he was well and WE were ready to go back to “normal”, HE was not. I spent many sleepless nights trying to rock him to sleep and lay him down w/o waking him up, only to hear him scream as soon as my back was turned (his crib was in our room). Finally I had to be “mean” and just let him cry. I'd go to him and rub his back, but would not take him out of his crib. A few nights of this, and he was falling asleep in the crib again, and we had peaceful nights from there on out. Don't feel bad for letting them cry, just keep an eye/ear on them. It's good for them, not only physically, but mentally as well.

Ceres
January 9th, 2005, 10:55 AM
if crying is good for the lungs or the brain, bleeding is good for the veins

Jade Moon
January 9th, 2005, 03:07 PM
How old is your baby?

I know co-sleeping is probably not the best situation, but for me, I lost more sleep trying to get my kids out of my room! Eventually they all three transitioned to their own rooms (on their own time, with no tears). What worked for me when they were little was this.....they make a portable crib device that has three sides, the other side attaches to your bed. So basically the baby is in his own crib, but in close enough proximity that they feel like they are in bed with you. I don't know where I got it - somewhere on the internet?

But remember.......they grow up fast, there is a light at the end of the tunnel! _witchball

soilsigh aingeal
January 9th, 2005, 04:12 PM
How old is your baby?

I know co-sleeping is probably not the best situation, but for me, I lost more sleep trying to get my kids out of my room! Eventually they all three transitioned to their own rooms (on their own time, with no tears). What worked for me when they were little was this.....they make a portable crib device that has three sides, the other side attaches to your bed. So basically the baby is in his own crib, but in close enough proximity that they feel like they are in bed with you. I don't know where I got it - somewhere on the internet?

But remember.......they grow up fast, there is a light at the end of the tunnel! _witchballThey have pack and plays like that at walmart, I wanted to get one for my son when he was littler because he was terrible to get to sleep but I had no room for it.

diamondtiger
January 9th, 2005, 05:27 PM
if crying is good for the lungs or the brain, bleeding is good for the veinsIs that sarcasm? Or do you really not believe that crying is actually healthy? I've been told by different pediatricians, read in different health magazines and in several books, that crying is indeed very healthy on many levels.

1) It helps to develop the lungs and vocal cords.
2) It teaches the child that even though they are loved very much, they won't always get what they want, when they want it. I realize that an infant is obviously too young to make this correlation, but we are conditioned from the moment we are born. So, it stands to reason that a child who ALWAYS got what they demanded as an infant, will EXPECT the same as he/she gets older.. because it's the norm. Then once they hit 2 or 3, we get all upset and wonder why people look at us funny in the store when our kid's down on the floor kicking and screaming because we tell them they can't have the candy or toy. We've all seen this and thought, “Oh my God, what a brat.” There's your why in a lot of cases.
3) Crying is a healthy release for stress. Baby's, as well as adults, sometimes need to just cry in order to release stressful emotions. So, there are times... when a person, be they an infant, child, adolescent or an adult, just NEEDS to cry for what seems like no reason. There's nothing wrong with crying it's self, and there's nothing wrong with letting a baby cry. A parent learns the different sounds/tones of a cry. We can tell when our child is hungry, tired, hurt or needs to be changed. We know to check for signs of illness and keep close watch over a crying infant. I' wouldn't dare suggest that a child be left alone to work him/herself into hysterics. But I do believe that we are actually doing our children, as well as ourselves, a great “service” by letting them cry sometimes.

skye*
January 9th, 2005, 06:25 PM
I CO slept with my daughter until she was 6 months old, than i moved our playpen next to the bed, and transitioned her to there, it was easier for her because she had always napped in it anyways( im an anti crib user) so i would stay in there and tap her to sleep every night, until i didnt have to tap anymore, a few months i think. Although she has never fallen asleep by herself, one of us is always in there laying next to her.
Now that shes 21 months old a few months ago we got a kiddi bed for her and she just loved it!! We placed it at the foot of our bed, now she naps on it during the day and for the most part sleeps in it at night, although she does climb into bed with us about 2ce a wk or so. I dont mind at all though, i love sleeping with her. my hubby sleeps on the other side and her against the wall. I wish she could sleep with me every night but i know its better to have her sleep in her own bed.and my hubby thinks shes to old for it now.
Now that we have a new baby, my sleeping arangements are all screwed up,lol. my hubby sleeps in the room with her and i sleep on the pull out bed in the living room, our babes afraid of the dark, and stays awake most of the night. I tryed having him in there with us but every time he woke up she did too, and i dont want her scheduale all screwed up.

anyhoo, id try the playpen next to the bed, and try staying in the room, so he knows your there, i know it might seem annoying, but hed probably go to sleep alot faster, also do you have a radio in there? I play classical music for my daughter at night and she falls fast asleep no problem, we have done it since she was born. might want to try it, just for a night to see how he reacts to it. Also its said to be good for them mentally.

good luck:)

Ceres
January 9th, 2005, 07:48 PM
Is that sarcasm? Or do you really not believe that crying is actually healthy? I've been told by different pediatricians, read in different health magazines and in several books, that crying is indeed very healthy on many levels.


it really isnt healthy, tho thats a popular opinion. there are many arguments to this notion.


1) It helps to develop the lungs and vocal cords.


develops them? are u really saying babies who dont cry enough have underdeveloped vocal cords and lungs? i have never heard of that.


2) It teaches the child that even though they are loved very much, they won't always get what they want, when they want it. I realize that an infant is obviously too young to make this correlation, but we are conditioned from the moment we are born. So, it stands to reason that a child who ALWAYS got what they demanded as an infant, will EXPECT the same as he/she gets older.. because it's the norm. Then once they hit 2 or 3, we get all upset and wonder why people look at us funny in the store when our kid's down on the floor kicking and screaming because we tell them they can't have the candy or toy. We've all seen this and thought, “Oh my God, what a brat.” There's your why in a lot of cases.


i hardly think a babe in a crib is learning much beyond that they are trying to communicate their needs and are being ignored. its not teaching them not to be brats, that comes later.


3) Crying is a healthy release for stress. Baby's, as well as adults, sometimes need to just cry in order to release stressful emotions. So, there are times... when a person, be they an infant, child, adolescent or an adult, just NEEDS to cry for what seems like no reason. There's nothing wrong with crying it's self, and there's nothing wrong with letting a baby cry. A parent learns the different sounds/tones of a cry. We can tell when our child is hungry, tired, hurt or needs to be changed. We know to check for signs of illness and keep close watch over a crying infant. I' wouldn't dare suggest that a child be left alone to work him/herself into hysterics. But I do believe that we are actually doing our children, as well as ourselves, a great “service” by letting them cry sometimes.
stress hormone levels in babies left to cry it out are elevated. stress is hard on all body systems. my apologies for the mixed up appreance of this post, i am still learning.

Ceres
January 9th, 2005, 07:52 PM
How old is your baby?

I know co-sleeping is probably not the best situation, but for me, I lost more sleep trying to get my kids out of my room! Eventually they all three transitioned to their own rooms (on their own time, with no tears). What worked for me when they were little was this.....they make a portable crib device that has three sides, the other side attaches to your bed. So basically the baby is in his own crib, but in close enough proximity that they feel like they are in bed with you. I don't know where I got it - somewhere on the internet?

But remember.......they grow up fast, there is a light at the end of the tunnel! _witchball

who says co sleeping is not the best situation? you know north american culture is one of the few that thinks co sleeping is wrong? the rest of the world thinks we are cruel for leaving our babies alone at night. to research more on the benefits of co sleeping, try a general search on "james mckenna co sleeping"

~~Cypher~~
January 10th, 2005, 12:20 AM
My little guys are only 2 and I co-sleep... wouldn't have it anyother way... except for the cold feet at night... now that will wake you up from a dead sleep! ;) my girl and I have agreed that our kids are gonna co-sleep with us.

soilsigh aingeal
January 10th, 2005, 09:42 AM
who says co sleeping is not the best situation? you know north american culture is one of the few that thinks co sleeping is wrong? the rest of the world thinks we are cruel for leaving our babies alone at night. to research more on the benefits of co sleeping, try a general search on "james mckenna co sleeping"What works for one person may not work for the next.

MorningDove030202
January 10th, 2005, 09:45 AM
cold sippy cups are not fun either...LOL

Ceres
January 10th, 2005, 10:12 AM
What works for one person may not work for the next.

i agree with that. but those for whom sleeping away from their babies isnt working should know they ARENT making a mistake or somehow failing their children or doing something that is not healthy for them because there is plenty of evidence to show it is not only healthy, but that there are reasons it is better.

i am not arguing everyone should co sleep, i am arguing the reasons ppl give for being opposed to co sleeping are a product of cultural norms, not scientific evidence.

fahawk
January 10th, 2005, 10:19 AM
make a spot nearby- even if it is near you/ in your room/ next to you bed in reaching distance.......then you have space..there is still reasurance-
eventually they will be ready to move! But your rest and space are important too..

soilsigh aingeal
January 10th, 2005, 01:51 PM
i agree with that. but those for whom sleeping away from their babies isnt working should know they ARENT making a mistake or somehow failing their children or doing something that is not healthy for them because there is plenty of evidence to show it is not only healthy, but that there are reasons it is better.

i am not arguing everyone should co sleep, i am arguing the reasons ppl give for being opposed to co sleeping are a product of cultural norms, not scientific evidence.
I'm sorry I get offended about parenting easily. If I was dealing with the same issue as LT, I'd be searching for a way to get my son back in his crib because I don't get any sleep with him next to me in my bed, I've had my kids in bed with my four times from the time my daughter was born until now, I can not even function wholly the next day. I'm constantly up checking on them and when I do sleep it's not a sound one. If I can't sleep comfortably than my body hurts the next day. My son's crib is next to my bed, he can hear that I'm right there, my own arm's length away. if that ever isn't good enough than I don't know what else I'd be able to do. i'd have a lot of my own sleepless nights.

soilsigh aingeal
January 10th, 2005, 01:53 PM
another idea, LT, does he wake at the same time each night? maybe you can set an alarm clock and go in his room and rub his back when he starts to stir and see if you can't get him back to sleep that way.

Ceres
January 10th, 2005, 01:55 PM
the sleep deprivation has got to be the hardest part about early childhood. i feel for ya!

soilsigh aingeal
January 10th, 2005, 02:51 PM
the sleep deprivation has got to be the hardest part about early childhood. i feel for ya!no need to, I've been lucky enough thus far to have kids that will sleep through the night in their own beds. the only time I've had trouble was just getting them to fall asleep when they were younger. I know if I have any more somewhere down the road, I'll get it :lol:

MorningDove030202
January 10th, 2005, 03:10 PM
the sleep deprivation has got to be the hardest part about early childhood. i feel for ya!

You said it! I just wish my husband would be more understanding when I fall asleep early or take naps! He thinks I have a sleeping problem....I do it's called not getting enough!
LOL

Dove

Rhianna813
January 10th, 2005, 06:28 PM
I have a 14 month old and we co-sleep with him. He started out sleeping fine in a bassinet next to our bed and later in his crib in our room. But soon he would wake straight up the second his sleepy face touched the crib. So we started co-sleeping and everyone is sleeping fine. This works well for us but I can understand it's not for everyone.

The suggestion to move the crib or portable crib into your room is a great one! Also maybe some kind of side bed that attaches to your bed..... just a thought.

A book that many parents have turned to for gentle sleep help with babies is the No Cry Sleep Solution. I have not had to read this myself but it's highly recommended and you may find some advice in it's pages. Amazon link:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0071381392/qid=1105395503/sr=8-1/ref=pd_csp_1/103-5386235-5848661?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

Here is some sleep article from Mothering Magazine's website.

http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/sleep/fleiss.html

Dr. Sear's website:

"31 ways to get your baby to go to sleep and stay alseep easier" http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070300.asp

"Sleep problems FAQ" http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071100.asp

Good luck and take care!

Rhianna

MorningDove030202
January 11th, 2005, 09:58 AM
Thanks so much for thoes links, I found some ideas on my almost 3 year old's sleeping issues. He likes to get into bed with us at night and with me starting a new job in a few days, we realy need to get our sleep!
Dove


I have a 14 month old and we co-sleep with him. He started out sleeping fine in a bassinet next to our bed and later in his crib in our room. But soon he would wake straight up the second his sleepy face touched the crib. So we started co-sleeping and everyone is sleeping fine. This works well for us but I can understand it's not for everyone.

The suggestion to move the crib or portable crib into your room is a great one! Also maybe some kind of side bed that attaches to your bed..... just a thought.

A book that many parents have turned to for gentle sleep help with babies is the No Cry Sleep Solution. I have not had to read this myself but it's highly recommended and you may find some advice in it's pages. Amazon link:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0071381392/qid=1105395503/sr=8-1/ref=pd_csp_1/103-5386235-5848661?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

Here is some sleep article from Mothering Magazine's website.

http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/sleep/fleiss.html

Dr. Sear's website:

"31 ways to get your baby to go to sleep and stay alseep easier" http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070300.asp

"Sleep problems FAQ" http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071100.asp

Good luck and take care!

Rhianna

Jade Moon
January 11th, 2005, 11:18 AM
After reading all of these post, I think that the number one thing to keep in mind is to do what works best for you. There are tons of studies on this issue, and the results go either way, depending on what you read. Just remember that every family situation is different, and every child's temperment is different. There is no clear cut answer. Just do what works for you and your family - and let go of your stress and guilt! :boquet:

~~Cypher~~
January 12th, 2005, 12:13 AM
He thinks I have a sleeping problem....I do it's called not getting enough!

Dove


now... I am gonna be a little um... well... forgive this... but... Enought what?

Starry Di
January 20th, 2005, 04:55 PM
now... I am gonna be a little um... well... forgive this... but... Enought what?
Sleep ;) Enough sleep :P

MorningDove030202
January 20th, 2005, 10:07 PM
Yes, SLEEP you perv! :P (just kidding!)

Dove

Whispers
February 8th, 2005, 08:03 AM
Our youngest son co slept with us till he was 3 years old and when we put him in his own bed, I so missed him! I just loved to snuggle upto him and how he'd play with my hair as he went to sleep, oh I miss those days....