URGENT! PLz can you give me advice (self harm and such)

[Tigereyes99]

:lookaroun Ok I really need your advice it's kinda hard to explain so just bear with me! :bangyourh

My friend... who's 13. She's been cutting her hands and arms with glass and knives....
Her mum and dad have split up...and her dads dealing drugs and she says her mum doesn't care about her. At the moment she lives with her mum.....

And this morning she got stabbed by a guy * i think it's something to do with her dad getting her involved in his problems* Her shirt was covered in blood but the thing is she don't seem to care... she won't tell anyone even doctors and she refuses to go to counselling or the hospital because they will ring her mum. She also says she tries to kill her self a few times.... i don't know how but me and her friends are worried about her we don't know what to do...... Shes not really the person who'd do it for attention..... just that when you look at her she seems happy and normal but i don't think she knows that people do care about her.

Please can you help im really worried im case she gets worse and seriously hurt! :whatmewor

[juelle]

Being a masochistic, it's quite natural to turn to self infliction of pain when a person is hurting so deeply 'inside'. However when this comes down to thoughts that pertain to suicide it becomes even more dangerous then scarring yourself.

If you are her true friend you will tell her parents herself, or a guidance counsellor or someone who can talk to her. If you can do it yourself and trust this then that's good too, but I lost a cousin not even a month ago to suicide simply because his parents thought they could help him through it without professional help.

For myself, i know that self mutilation can occur when you feel completely alone and are hurting so much inside that the pain you bring yourself makes you feel alive, or it can help bring attention to your pain, or simply show others how you are in self hate mode.

Basically it's a cry for help. Have her sit in front of you. Tell her you love her. Ask her if she loves herself. Point out her good points, and the fact that she has no control over her family's current state or problems. Then tell her because you love her she is no longer allowed to cut herself. That if she is going to acknowledge your love for her, she is going to stop, and that every time she wants to cut herself, instead she is to call you, or see you, and cry and talk it out instead. Light a candle, preform a negativity release spell if you feel that might help.

But i totally suggest telling someone who is a professional and/or her parents as well before she really does something.

[Zophael]

Do you really know what the mother-daughter relationship is really like?
If mom really doesn't care, your friend needs to find some other place to live.
If mom gives a damn in the least, mom needs to know what's going on.

[Tigereyes99]

The thing is that she doesn't want anyone to know i mean she doesn't even know that i know.....
It's kinda compicated because i've never really met her mum or dad and if she knows that i've told them she'll fall out with me.... it's just shes no that type of person who can sit down and listen to somebody if you now what i mean.
Me and my friend wanted to write a letter to tell her how important it is to stop nd that people care about her and what will happen to her.... we both feel akward about talking face to face...

Im just so worried

[juelle]

Ok, if you think her parents will help, then if you ARE a friend regardless of losing the friendship for a time while she's mad at you, you need to tell.

If she's serious about suicide it comes down to 1. not telling and losing her forever if she goes through with it. or 2. telling and risking her anger at you but at least she'll be alive.

My cousin told people. They didn't tell. They feared his wrathe. He's gone now, and believe me, those people feel guilty for not sharing his suicide wishes with our family.

She's hurting, and yes, she may be very angry with you for telling. But one day, she may just thank you.

[Tigereyes99]

Thanks alot for the advice i'll try to tell her mum but i may have to write a letter or somehow get her telephone number.....

Thanks for your help and advice

[amethyst_faerie]

Hey I think we should all write her a letter asking her not to go through with the suicide and saying we all care. Perhaps all put some money together for a present as well? If it doesn't affect her we might have to tell someone about it. Like juelle put it, its better for her to be alive and mad at us than gone , with her death on our consciences...morbid but true.
If she goes to the doctors she could get some anti depressants, which i do think she needs right now. She also really needs help for the stab wounds, if it carries on she'll get killed which would be even worse.

[amethyst_faerie]

By the way, me and Tigereyes go to the same school and we both know the person. Does anyone know what the best thing to do for a stab wound is? It is quite deep. Does it need stitches or is it ok with a bandage or plaster(band-aid)? Please help if you have any medical experience/knowledge.

[Carickah]

1) Tell her you know.

2) Tell her you love her and she is not alone. (this is very important, it really is... knowing your not alone when you are like that is very important. Make sure she understands that and make sure you tell her that you are there for her)
3) Tell her you will go with her to get help
4) Tell her what having her in your life means to you.
5) Tell a professional


From someone who is currently having similar thoughts. Also, you might show her this thread. Sometimes it helps to know that people who don't even know you really care. and show her my sig.


k

[Carickah]

By the way, me and Tigereyes go to the same school and we both know the person. Does anyone know what the best thing to do for a stab wound is? It is quite deep. Does it need stitches or is it ok with a bandage or plaster(band-aid)? Please help if you have any medical experience/knowledge.She needs medical attention, no two ways about it, especially if it is deep. The wound needs to be cleaned and she will need at a minimum a tetnes(sp) shot. A deep knife wound is nothing to mess with. Tell a teacher or counsoller and get her medical assistance.


in the meantime, a clean bandage should be placed over the wound to keep foriegn objects from entering the wound. The wound should be allowed to bleed some but if the bleeding gets too severe before medical attention arrives, then direct pressure to the site to control the bleeding. Also, you should treat for shock.

k

[Tigereyes99]

Thanks alot....
we'll try anything we can to stop her cutting herself....

Thanks again.

[audi]

i think writing a letter, like you said is a good idea. she is lucky to have friends who care about her like you guys do for her. hope everything works out. take care. *hugs*

[Tigereyes99]

Thanks :)

I just hope she listens to us..

[trippingdaisy]

The self harming wont stop overnight, but it sounds like she's got some good friends in you guys. I did too, and it was because of them that I got through it.
sending energies to your friend- I hope this whole horrificl situation can be sorted as quickly as possible, and that she is quickly safe from harm from herself and other people. :hugz:

[Tigereyes99]

Well today my mate said that she'd been stabbed again this moring...... But at least my mum was concerned to because she rang up our school and spoke to the the child protection officer. And they had a word with my friend about what's been happening..... *so her mum should know by now....*

I don't know what to do to make her feel better?!

[trippingdaisy]

she was attacked again? F'ing hell! was she badly hurt? who is she with now?
It might be a while before she feels better, but it might help if you just keep reassuring her that you are there for her. hopefully she is safe now, and you can help her move forward in her life.

good luck, and let us know how she is,

love trip xxx

[Jade Moon]

You need to tell someone you trust, like a school counselor or something. When someone says they want to commit suicide, they very often do it! (or at least try) She is crying out for help, but she doesn't know who she is crying out to. If you love her (which it sounds like you do) you can be that person who hears her cry. Who knows, you may be the only person in her life who really does care. She might not even thank you for it, but you need to try to get her some help. I was a depressed teenager years ago, and I got therapy and I'm fine now (usually! lol) And looking back, I do appreciate what people did to try to help me - even though I may have resented it then.

If your assistance works, then you've done your part......if not, then back off and realize that this is bigger than you and not your responsibility. You can do what you can for your loved ones, but you can't let them bring you down in the process. You are a wonderful person for caring about your friend, but don't get caught up in the whole co-dependent trap. Do what you can and then take care of YOU!

You are in my thoughts! :huddle:

[Sage Rainsong]

Oh my Gods this is terrible, please try and get her some help.So what if she gets mad at least she will be alive. These numbers may help. I hope it works you guys are in my prayers.

(800) 252-TEEN (samariteens)
1-800-748-2433(national suicide hotline)
(800) 792-5200 (child at risk hotline) this website is more like child services
800) 221-0053 (department of mental health hotline)
1-800-999-9999 (covenent house)

or you can go to http://suicidehotlines.com/ to find one in your area.

hope this helps blessed be.

[Tigereyes99]

Thanks alot for all your help and advice on this situation im sure it will help her get through the bad patch!

Thanks again

[ibonewits]

Thanks alot for all your help and advice on this situation im sure it will help her get through the bad patch!Tigereyes, I'm a total stranger to both you and your friend, but you asked for advice, so here it is:

You must tell not only the school counselor and child protective services, you have to tell the police! If she has been stabbed—twice!—that's a crime being committed, and the third time her attacker might succeed. Failing a third attempt, the wounds alone can kill if they aren't immediately treated. Tell the police right now. Pick up the phone and make the call. Don't wait till tomorrow.

If you want her to stay alive, you not only have to keep her from cutting herself, but also (a) get her to a hospital and (b) get her protection from her attacker(s).

I'll also point out the unpleasant fact that the overwhelming majority of people who cut themselves have been sexually abused, and are too ashamed to seek the help they need, or want to protect family members. She needs to be interviewed by a counselor who is familiar with this syndrome.

Don't worry about the effects on you friendship, take action now! As her friend you have the right, and as a human being you have the responsibility.

Let us know how it all turns out.

Uncle Isaac

[Tigereyes99]

Thanks alot......

I don't really feel up to updating the problem right now because im kinda scared of what may happen to me and my friends because shes angry.....