Danustouch
September 20th, 2001, 01:09 PM
A break.
I really need to take a break from the boards for a day or two. Don't worry..I'll be back..but I need to get away right now. The events of the past week and a half are having a tremendous effect on me emotionally. I find myself bursting into tears at least five times a day. I am still missing a friend....he was supposed to be in NYC the week that the WTC bombing occurred...and said he would contact me. He hasn't. We are very close..and for him not to contact me, after promising, doesn't make sense for him. Plus, his social circle is the Corporate Jet Setter type. And he has many stock investments. So the probability that he was there..is high. I can't find him on any lists. And I cannot contact his family. His family does not speak English (they are phillippino). So...I have no way of knowing what is going on. I've been emailing him twice a day, begging him to write back and let me know he's ok. And so far..no word. As I said..we are VERY close. So this really scares me.
I am finding myself getting VERY angry at statements made on the board regarding recent events. People being "Sick" of hearing about it. Wanting their lives to return to happy go lucky..as if none of this has happened. I am finding myself getting angry at those who are saying that we shouldn't do any aggressive action in this affair. On the other hand, I am also getting angry of those who support disgusting actions (such as the whole pigs blood thing) as a way to deal with the terrorists. I am sick of conspiracy theories, I am sick of people bashing Christians because of what Falwell said. And I am sick of people who refuse to do their research into the history of Bin Ladin, and the Taliban, before making a conclusion as to what we should do. I am also sick of the people who won't look into the Quran, and the Islamic Faith, and the TRUE meaning of Jihad, and it's rules, before coming to conclusions about the whole situation. In short..I'm just SICK. Fed up, angry, frustrated, scared, and upset. Most of all..I'm sick of feeling sick. It seems that within a week, all of the Unity is fading, and we're back to picking people apart. Back to making statements without researching them. Back to pointing fingers, Back to placing blame. Back to making PRESUMPTIONS, Back to making predictions based on nothing more than fancy...etc. And I just can't handle it right now. I have friends I've met over the net, and real life friends, who are mailing me conspiracy theories, astrological data, etc..and I just keep hitting the delete button. Sick of it all. I want to feel my grief right now. I want to feel my pain. I want to feel my anger, and my fear. I want to think for myself. I want to have hope. I don't want to analyze and reanalyze all of the reasons this has happened. I just want to prevent it from happening again. And in the meantime, I want to feel these feelings, let my emotions flow....so that I NEVER forget how precious, how fleeting, and how sacred EVERY moment we have on this earth ...IS.
So..while this may all seem like i've been talking in circles, and may seem contradictory in places...oh well. It's how I feel. Moment to Moment, I fluctuate. I'm as confused, bewildered, and overwhelmed as anyone else right now.
And for the moment...I can't deal with this all. So...I'm taking a break for a couple of days. I'll still be available via AIM if any of you want readings. I'll still be available to talk to you via AIM if any of you need to discuss your feelings, or your lives. But..I just can't deal with the politics, etc..right now. If someone could keep an eye on my forums...History, and Fertility for me....maybe post some new stuff...or reply to keep them moving..I'd appreciate it.
Thank you...
Jean (danus)
I really need to take a break from the boards for a day or two. Don't worry..I'll be back..but I need to get away right now. The events of the past week and a half are having a tremendous effect on me emotionally. I find myself bursting into tears at least five times a day. I am still missing a friend....he was supposed to be in NYC the week that the WTC bombing occurred...and said he would contact me. He hasn't. We are very close..and for him not to contact me, after promising, doesn't make sense for him. Plus, his social circle is the Corporate Jet Setter type. And he has many stock investments. So the probability that he was there..is high. I can't find him on any lists. And I cannot contact his family. His family does not speak English (they are phillippino). So...I have no way of knowing what is going on. I've been emailing him twice a day, begging him to write back and let me know he's ok. And so far..no word. As I said..we are VERY close. So this really scares me.
I am finding myself getting VERY angry at statements made on the board regarding recent events. People being "Sick" of hearing about it. Wanting their lives to return to happy go lucky..as if none of this has happened. I am finding myself getting angry at those who are saying that we shouldn't do any aggressive action in this affair. On the other hand, I am also getting angry of those who support disgusting actions (such as the whole pigs blood thing) as a way to deal with the terrorists. I am sick of conspiracy theories, I am sick of people bashing Christians because of what Falwell said. And I am sick of people who refuse to do their research into the history of Bin Ladin, and the Taliban, before making a conclusion as to what we should do. I am also sick of the people who won't look into the Quran, and the Islamic Faith, and the TRUE meaning of Jihad, and it's rules, before coming to conclusions about the whole situation. In short..I'm just SICK. Fed up, angry, frustrated, scared, and upset. Most of all..I'm sick of feeling sick. It seems that within a week, all of the Unity is fading, and we're back to picking people apart. Back to making statements without researching them. Back to pointing fingers, Back to placing blame. Back to making PRESUMPTIONS, Back to making predictions based on nothing more than fancy...etc. And I just can't handle it right now. I have friends I've met over the net, and real life friends, who are mailing me conspiracy theories, astrological data, etc..and I just keep hitting the delete button. Sick of it all. I want to feel my grief right now. I want to feel my pain. I want to feel my anger, and my fear. I want to think for myself. I want to have hope. I don't want to analyze and reanalyze all of the reasons this has happened. I just want to prevent it from happening again. And in the meantime, I want to feel these feelings, let my emotions flow....so that I NEVER forget how precious, how fleeting, and how sacred EVERY moment we have on this earth ...IS.
So..while this may all seem like i've been talking in circles, and may seem contradictory in places...oh well. It's how I feel. Moment to Moment, I fluctuate. I'm as confused, bewildered, and overwhelmed as anyone else right now.
And for the moment...I can't deal with this all. So...I'm taking a break for a couple of days. I'll still be available via AIM if any of you want readings. I'll still be available to talk to you via AIM if any of you need to discuss your feelings, or your lives. But..I just can't deal with the politics, etc..right now. If someone could keep an eye on my forums...History, and Fertility for me....maybe post some new stuff...or reply to keep them moving..I'd appreciate it.
Thank you...
Jean (danus)