Diana hear me....

[greenwitch]

Diana
please hear me speaking.
My strength is fading quickly and I know not what to do.
I'm tired, and I feel sick, conflicted.
All of me aches and I'm not sure what the reasoning is.
I feel my spirituality has fled
I feel empty inside and like what I've held to for so long,
It's slipping through my fingers
Like sand, or water.
It's so hard to focus on what's beautiful anymore
Everything is so complicated and I struggle so much.
Diana I pray that you're listening.
I need your strength and your guidance
I know that my life is full of battles
I ask for your strength in the upcoming fights
I fear I have not the energy for them.
Diana make me strong
Give me the strength to see all that is beautiful around me
Give me the strength to fight these upcoming battles
Grant me the ability to see clearly friend from foe
And Diana, please, grant me the clarity,
The sharpness of your sight,
So that I may determine what is truly important from what is not.
Diana, my goddess, I am begging.
This ache of mine will not fade
It is not mundane, it is spiritual
And as my patron I'm begging that you help me
Guide me
Save me
Lead me from this pain and stress
Let me be strong enough to handle it.
Goddess Please....
These tears I cry seem to flow constantly
And they burn
It hurts for me to cry seemingly without reason
My skin burns from these tears
Please Diana
Make them stop
Grant me your strength and courage
So that I may face tomorrow
With a brave face.

Blessed Be Diana
Adra

[greenwitch]

Goddess I feel empty today....
and confused. I dont know what to do. I've been cleaning and this morning in the shower I couldnt help but ask to be healed.... I think that may be a good first step..... My mind aches and so does my heart. It seems they're in a constant battle with each other and both are tired and wounded... Where do I begin? I feel stronger, thank you so much for that, I need it. I fear though that there is another battle to be fought and its coming quickly. Am I prepared? Am I strong enough for it? will I survive it or will I fail? I have no answers nor anyone helping me but you. I need your help and your guidance... I hate waiting for things like this to come and I feel like I'm just standing here doing nothing, waiting for it to tackle me before I realize it's hit me.... I'm physically getting sick because of all this Goddess. My head hurts constantly, I'm afraid of myself and of the things I will say or do. My heart is torn, I dont know whether to turn and say goodbye or work with what I have. So many people are picking at me, all of them want something I have and I just keep giving it away.... Everyone is depending on me for something and its getting to be too much. How can I make ends meet? Goddess Please guide me in your ways so that I may make the righ decisions, if I must suffer more then let me do it in your comfort, knowing you are there.

Blessed Be
Adra

[greenwitch]

After being so crushed yesterday today I feel a calm warmth. Thank You Goddess. I'll offer you all I can today, I'll give over to you everything I can spare. I hope that this serenity will last a while longer than just this morning, I may just lose my mind without it.
I slept restlessly last night. I'm not sure why, but there must have been an energy about the room that kept me from sleeping. Everytime I would open my eyes and feel someone or something keeping watch over me and I didnt know what. Was it you? Was it someone to protect me, a guardian of sorts? I felt unsettled around it's presence, what was it? Maybe i'm being paranoid, but Goddess I must ask you for more.... forgive me if I sound needy but I need your strength. I fear that if anyone disturbs me today that I'll just break, I'm comforted by you but at the same time I feel weak. Goddess Grant me strength throughout this day to get through what I must. And the patience I need so I dont colapse.

Blessed Be
Adra

[greenwitch]

I feel Sickened.
I've cried too many tears today
I fear my spirit has weakened
Goddess I know you hear me
At times in the past I've pushed you away
I hope you can forgive me
I need your guidance and I seek it
I'm begging, pleading as I sit
Tears flow freely down my face
I feel as though I fallen from grace...

Goddess Please Hear Me. I can't stop crying, it's impossible. All I see are shadows, I can't find the light. I feel cold, I find no warmth in anyone's arms. What do you need me to do? Tell me how I can survive this pain. As soon as I get up I fall again, I have so many scars that keep opening up. :wah: Goddess hear my plea, give me strength to pull through these times that hurt me so, let me see the light again, I'm lost in so much darkness.... Let me know that I will be okay, that the one's I love will not forget how I love them... grant me peace of mind, some clarity somewhere, in something, so much chaos is driving me mad.... Goddess Please.... if you can forgive me for my faults, for my mistakes.... please please help me.... please save me from this torment..... help me...

[greenwitch]

I'm afraid. I feel so scared and I'm unaware as to why... the hairs on the back of my neck are standing up and I have goosebumps on my arms.... I'm shaking... Goddess what is happening to me? I feel so physically sick, its hard to move without feeling an ache. I want to throw up but I havent eaten. I have no appetite though my stomach feels full to the brim.... Goddess please, what is going on? what spirits are haunting me?
:wah: I am so afraid! I dont know what to be afraid of or what is causing this! it seems so sudden and the feeling wont go away.... Diana please! my Goddess please help me! I dont want to fear, I dont want to cry, or feel pain! *cries* I know that only I can stop it but you must tell me how! I belong to you and you alone, my mother my sister and wise one... please Diana Hear Me! *doubles over sobbing*

[greenwitch]

Thank You Diana, for aiding me so.
Last night in my dreams, I realized something...
In everything that's happened, you were always there.
In every pain or grief I've felt, your arms were always waiting.
In every laugh or smile you always smiled with me.
With every achievement, you always felt proud.
And every time I needed that extra push in the right direction
You always gave it to me.

Thank You my Goddess, for staying with me. I am not sick, I am not insecure, nor do I feel unsafe, or cold. But I am warm, and smiling, safe and sound, and it's because your presence is right beside me every day. :)

Blessed Be
Adra

[greenwitch]

:confused:

are there some things I'm not meant to understand? are there times when I'm not meant to feel safe or protected? I'm wondering if I should just open up all of me... let the tears flow that have needed to for so long... am I right in thinking this? I'm afraid of getting yet another scar for me to stare at when I'm feeling all alone... I want to stop hiding but I've been in the dark so long I'm afraid of the light.... I have so many questions I'd like to be answered but I know I must have patience first, and the answers will come when they're meant to. Forgive me if I'm rambling as I dont know how to put my words together comprehendibly... but I hope that you still understand, you always have in the past...

Blessed be
Adra

[greenwitch]

Diana
Once again I thank you...
I feel more pulled together than I have been over the past few days
Maybe I can last another day, hopefully without too much pain
But if it is in your knowing that I must recieve these pains so I may grow
then all I ask is that you remain with me always, guiding me so I will be stronger in each breath, each pulse of my veins, and each blink of my own brown eyes.

Blessed Be
Adra

[greenwitch]

Goddess I must offer you all of my gratitude, and all of me...
I am so blessed with those that love me, through all my faults
I am so blessed by those that teach me, though I may be ignorant
I am so blessed by those who advise me, and tell me what I already know
I am so blessed by you, for you've given me strength, and courage

Diana Thank You, I have realized now, after so long, that I am stronger and braver than I give myself credit for. That I love more than I hate, that I comfort more than I push away. And now I know, that through all of my scars, whatever ones I may bear, I am beautiful, because I am of you. Whatever flaws I hold, they are there because of you, not as a curse but as a blessing. I thank you for these blessings. Just as I look up to you, let it be that others can look up to me in good faith, that I do not teach them falsely, and that I do not lead anyone down a path of pain they do not deserve. I take these blessings you've given me, and I hold them close for they are mine to hold.
Blessed Be Yours Diana
Adra

[greenwitch]

I am loved because I deserve to be.

I will not be afraid of myself, nor will I lie to myself. Fear takes away all that is beautiful in the world and I would rather keep the beauty than take it from myself.

I am alive and I do breathe, though now the days are cold and gray, the sun will come out to play and all will be warm again. I must have patience with the world around me as well as with myself.

I am stronger and braver than I give myself credit for, I have the ability to change what I do not like, and enjoy to the best of my ability the things I do like.

I will not punish myself for any mistakes, but I will learn from them. Whatever I do wrong I do wrong for a reason, whether I realize it now or later, it was the right decision in the long run.

I must allow myself to heal, I have to stop opening up old wounds, and let the scars heal over.

I will enjoy those who love me, ignore those who hate me, and everyone else in between I will be kind to. Do not pay attention to those who wish ill against me, they have no power unless I give it to them.

[greenwitch]

Goddess Sing With Me!
Rejoice in all that is glorious
Dance to the rhythm of my heart
All that I create I do in honor of you
My hands are guided by you
What I teach is what you've taught me.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ahn a ahn andeila ahn an a ahn dei ahn ahn dei ahn dei na ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh eehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ahn a ahn a andeila ahn sey a dei na ahn...

:) Goddess I Smile again! :hearthear

[greenwitch]

I'm back again...
I have one question....
I love the one I am with, Mike....
but I fear I may be getting feelings for another....
and Mike, he is so secretive, and I feel like he's running from me now. Because I know the intentions and the feelings of a girl he's friends with.... am I just jealous of her because she gets to see him and I dont? she's admitted she likes him... wants to be with him....
I'm worried.... :awilly:
Please Help Me...

Blessed Be
Adra

[greenwitch]

Goddess... my love life still struggles...
Apparently he needs to find something.... to be sure of something...
I love him with everything I am, all of my magick all of my soul my heart, all of me... and while the thought of never having him again is torture and it makes me sick.... I want him to be forever happy, I never want to see him sad or hurt. :wah: even if his happiness is without me, Goddess I beg you let him be happy, let him know that I love him dearly, and I always will regardless of the outcome of our relationship...

Goddess Let Him Find Whatever It Is He Is Searching For...

Blessed Be
Adra

[greenwitch]

I'm sick. so sick. the doctors cant find out why. my immune system is failing so badly its almost nonexsitant.... I've lost the will to eat, my appetite is completely disintigrated to the point where I'll take a bite of something once a day and be full... no one else knows why this is but me...
The phrase 'dying of a broken heart' is so true. every morning when I wake I have to catch myself so I dont fall... and in the shower I cry so hard my body shakes for hours afterwards. I dont get to see the one I love every day, he's so far from me and its killing me, literally. Goddess I dont want to die yet, I dont think its my time, I hope its not.... I would rather stay alive and be able to see him again this summer and the rest of our lives than die and never be able to touch him again... Goddess please give me the strength to keep going... to keep loving him in this life.... so I may again see him and hold him, and love him.... help me to survive Diana.... I need your strength.... you arms so strong to hold me up to get through another day..... please Diana.... help me be strong, mentall, emotionally, and physically...

[greenwitch]

I am so tired. even sleeping doesnt help me. Goddess I feel so weak. It's so hard to move at all. I'm asking for your help, I dont know what to do, I'm on meds to help my appetite now... and my immune system. they're so horrible but I keep thinking that they'll help me. Diana grant me strength to get through this.. I feel like a half dead thing walking around waiting to drop. I'm begging you, help me. I need someone's care right now as I feel all alone.

[greenwitch]

it' so hard to breathe.... I feel such pain when I do, I cant laugh it hurts too much... what sickness is this??

[greenwitch]

*throws herself in Diana's lap* *crying* I'm sorry I ask for so much Goddess. I dont know what to do with myself.... I'm unbearably unhappy and sick from so many pains..... I wanted to dedicate myself come Imbolc but I'm afraid I wont be able to... my mind wont clear enough my emotions are unstable.... *cries* Diana.... I'm sorry I keep asking for so many things.... but I need some clarity! I need something stable... as nothing is right now.... oh Goddess! please help me...

[greenwitch]

Diana grant me patience to put up with those who wish ill against me, those who purposely say or do things to upset me. Grant me peace of mind to get through my restless days with calm, and not freak out on people because I have problems they know nothing about. Goddess let me love someone as much humanly possible, with an open heart and mind, as well as arms. Let me love myself for who I am, no matter the number of people who patronize me or look down on me for it. Give me the courage to create my own path, instead of following the one that others have set for me. Give me strength to be beautiful in my own eyes, to realize who and what I am. Lend me the strength to let myself cry when I need to, and not hold it in so I look tough. Diana take these things and mold them unto me, so that I feel like the goddess that you are, or that I'm at least closer to your likeness.

Adra

[greenwitch]

Of all the memories I have inside
Why is it this one I cannot hide
Why is it that I can’t forget
The pain the hurt I have to admit
All the things I’ve sacrificed
All the times I’ve asked for advice
Why can’t I lose these things I fear
Why do those times seem so damn near
They happened long ago and you forgot
It’s like a spiders’ web, I’m caught
Inside the pain and the tears I’ve cried
Inside every broken promise and every time you lied
I’m all alone in those memories now
Aside from you kicking me when I’m down
Knowing you don’t care anymore
Hearing every slammed door
My tears are frozen there in time
These forsaken memories are forever mine...

Goddess I wish I could forget all those things that haunt me, they make me cry and I hate crying.... Please help me be strong enough to forget, and if not forget to at least learn from these memories that will not fade away...

[greenwitch]

let it be so that however beautiful I may be inside, let it shine through.... give me strength to be beautiful inside and out.... to forgive myself for my mistakes and take each day as it comes. to realize that my past lives in me, not me in my past...

[Tabby]

*hugs*

[greenwitch]

It is Imbolc, Goddess.
I must say I feel the burning spark of fire beginning to dance in my spirits again today. It makes me smile. Even as I write this my smile grows bigger and more genuine. I can feel my spirit egnite!
Take my Re-Dedication on this day as a rewnewal of my spirit, that the firey passion within me burns strong and eternal, everlasting. I give myself to you Goddess, and all that you are and all you have given me.
Let The Fires of Brigid Burn Eternal!!
So Be It!

[greenwitch]

Goddess I feel free! :heartthro I am not sad, I am not depressed, or caged, I am not angry, or upset at all. I feel like I have wings, like all the bars have been taken away.
Blessed Diana I can feel your strength flow through me stronger than it ever has before. I am smiling, and laughing freely again. I feel like Me, like I really am a kid, as I should be at 16.
Goddess Diana I love you, thank you for your strength, let it last throughout the day!

Adra

[greenwitch]

:woot:
Goddess I feel on top of the world! I have not been stressed or unhappy since Imbolc, I feel so free and I truly hope this feeling lasts a while! I am not going crazy, I smile more often, I do not cry. I feel strong and guided, I know my own will and what I want, what I will do for it. I am happy! and I love this emotion!
Thank You Goddess!!!
Blessed Be All That Is Yours!
Adra

[greenwitch]

I'm STILL on top of the world!!! *dancing around* :bouncybob

[greenwitch]

oooooooooooooo I'm so tired.....
but I'm happy. :)

Goddess all this time I was asking for you to grant me strength, and I've realized that that strength I have been asking you for has been within me all along. For you are within me all the time, you always have been. I've ben searching for the divine outside of myself, but the last place I thought to look was within myself. and that's where you've always been. :flowers:

Blessed Be
Adra

[greenwitch]

:whatgives I don't know what happened. :whatgives

Everything is falling apart right in front of me again. All of these things are going wrong that I have no control over at all, I'm standing here watching my world, my comforts, loves, laughs, happiness, just crumble and fall right before my feet. It's like every time I take a breath it's to have another steel spear thrust through my heart, making it bleed more, and break again.

I call on the Divine within and around me,
Goddess Save Me
Let my strength stand strong enough
So that I may cry when I need to
But with a firm stand my feet on the ground
And my head held high so that I may see
True happiness that I long to be...

SO MOTE IT BE...

Blessed BE
Adra

[greenwitch]

:sniffsnif

I can't stop crying. I'll hear a song or I'll see something or read something like an old convo on yahoo in my archive and I just start crying. everything makes me cry. I have clue why for some reason I can't control myself. I'm so used to being able to bottle it up. but now for some reason I can't. :wah:

I feel so weak.

[greenwitch]

HOW DARE HE.

:atantrum: :bad: :flamer: :grrrrr: :meanface: :scream: :aburst: :aburst: :aburst: :aburst: :bastard: :uzi: :uzi: :bangyourh :bangyourh :meanface: :meanface: :scream: :scream: :razz: :grrrrr: :flamer: :flamer: :bad: :ahhhhhhh: :ahhhhhhh: :ahhhhhhh:


HOW THE HELL COULD HE THINK HE COULD DO THIS TO ME AND GET AWAY WITH IT!!!

BY THE NAME OF THE GODDESS HE WILL PAY.

[greenwitch]

ok I'm not murderous anymore.

but damnit that sh*thead shouldn't f*ck with me and my heart.

He promised he never would. and now I"m pissed. and I want him to pay...

[greenwitch]

my life is a rollercoaster ride. and I dont like rollercoasters. they make me sick.

my emotions are all over the place. I've just read all my posts on here. I go from utter confusion and feeling lost to being happy as hell and then to being pissed as hell, stressed, frustrated... I'm goin round in circles here.

let me find sanity somewhere and somehow. let me have the strength. :sadman:

[greenwitch]

I feel like dancing!!!

:ringaroun :fprtyman4 :broomride :abanana: _handclapp :hahugh: :fpartyhat :boing: :flowers: :abbed: :nyah: :D _vb_ :thewave: :clapping: :dancy: :boquet: :fpeace: :havinapar :fprtyman3 :colorful: :bouncysmi :woot: :woot: :acheeer: :fpartyman _happydanc :spinnysmi :smileroll :bigredgri :bouncybob :bouncybob

and I don't know why!!!

all I feel like doing is dancing around and throwing my hands to the sky, and spinning and laughing and smiling.

and my life has been shit lately! and I feel so GREAT TODAY!!!

[greenwitch]

another day on that damned rollercoaster. :nuhuh:

I hate this crap.

I'll be quiet all day long, never really say anything and no one says anything in particular that should be upsetting. but they mention their mother or how they are with family. and all I wanna do is cry my eyes out.

and I almost did AGAIN today. *sigh* I wish that things could be better with me and my family, instead of being singled out from everyone and outcast and disowned and screamed at.
but somehow I doubt that'll happen.

[greenwitch]

WHEN WILL I EVER GET OFF THIS DAMN ROLLERCOASTER?!?!?!?!

I'm goin out my freakin mind here... :crazyman:

Goddess Please Hear Me...

[greenwitch]

*sigh*

blah. poo. ugh....

[greenwitch]

WHY IS HE SO BITTER?!?!?!

Goddess why is he blaming me for these things that i have nothing to do with? Why is he just taking all his frustrations out on me when I've done nothing, told him nothing that would imply that I'm here to be his punching bag, his diary...
Mom did the exact same thing, and I left her for it, now she's disowned me.

I tried telling him no, dont do this, I dont like it and it makes me feel like crap, but he just keeps on! talking to him is not an option it's always an argument!

I wish someone would just hold me now, cuz I dont know what to do... :rubhead:

[greenwitch]

:geez: I don't get it :geez:

[greenwitch]

I want to be held by someone.... badly....

[greenwitch]

*throws herself at the goddess' mercy*

*crying eyes out*

*whisper* .... please.... help me....

:wah:

[BlackMagicalCat]

dear Lord,i pray for divine protection for greenwitch,let her know that you love her dearly,and that you created her to walk with you,to know you,and to love you.help her to know ,that you are only a prayer away.my peace I give unto you,not as the world gives,let not your heart be troubled,niether let it be afraid.in Jesus name i ask this,amen.also Lord watch over every one here at mystickwcks and thankyou for giving them to me as friends.watch over my son also,and help our troops who are in danger,i love you Lord and thankyou for the love and grace you have put in my heart,when i think about how i used to be,i am ashamed.thankyou lord for lifting me up and especialy when i was going through dark times.sorry i didnt go to church but i was out driving and am never home on sundays.Blessings to you Lord for ever and ever,amen.

[greenwitch]

:wah:

I'm so confused and complicated and I feel so stupid and...... goddess help me...

[greenwitch]

*crying*

I dont think I can take any more......

goddess please release me from this...

or help me somehow.... please....

*crying*

[greenwitch]

I don't know how I should approach my dad with this.

I cannot stand living with him anymore, let alone in this city. I love him, well part of me does, but I feel he doesnt really know how to be a father, he's more of an older friend taht I live with, rather than a dad. I dunno...
I'm not happy here, I never really have been, but I'm sure how to tell him that I wont be living here after I get out of school, that I wont be coming back once I go back to south haven michigan.... I am not home here, I do not feel safe or wanted here, I am not happy here. Since I've moved here I"ve felt out of place and empty, and that feeling will not go away no matter what I do to try to fill that space, or try to fit, nothing works, that empty space just gets bigger and bigger, and fitting... it's like trying to fit the wrong puzzle piece in the a certain place. it wont work no matter how many ways you turn it.

goddess help me here, help me to use the courage that I know I have, the courage so that I may be happy once again. please...

[greenwitch]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I have no voice. It's gone
I'm sick
and I've lost my voice.

bah.

[greenwitch]

I think I'm gonna crawl into a dark little corner until everything just blows over..

[greenwitch]

Diana hear my prayer...

help me to end my own suffering.
This torment I can bear no longer...
help me to stop the countless tears from falling, and the constant ache within my chest that is my beating broken heart....
Bless the stranger who cares so, as it feels that so few do as of late, this one being shows me they have a heart, let the world be kind to them as they have been to me...
I need some clarity here, now. I need some way to tell me I am making the right choices, the right decisions, something to let me know that I am not alone, that I am on the right path and that this path is my own,......
Goddess hear me..... grant me strength so I may get through another day, it has been so hard to make it through all the others....

[greenwitch]

*sigh* I don't know what to do with myself Goddess.

please tell me, I don't know where to start.

[greenwitch]

I miss him.
I miss feeling loved by someone, I miss being needed by someone, and missed by someone. I miss the fact that he HAD to protect me, had to have me safe, had to hold my hand if not have his arms around me all the time..... I miss the I love you's before bed, and the sweet dreams, even though he knew I never remembered them.
I miss him.
Even though when I was with him all I ever felt was free and like I loved him so, that if it ever came down to us being apart that I'd be fine.
But I'm not.
As it turns out, I'm the one who misses him, and I'm the one who needs him, I'm the one who loves him more, I'm the one who wants to protect him, and say I love you's before i go to sleep and say sweet dreams, even if he doesn't remember his either.
I miss him.

[greenwitch]

I'm so stupid. :ack:

[greenwitch]

:wah:

[greenwitch]

How can I stop loving him? I'm in misery because of myself, I cannot deal with this anymore. I miss him so much and it hurts every day knowing that I dont have him and it was my own choice to give him up. :wah: Oh Goddess please tell me what to do... I dont know.... :sniffsnif :collapse:

[Tabby]

*hugs tight*

[greenwitch]

Goddess help me.

I have surgery next friday.
open heart surgery.

a heart transplant.

I"m so scared. and so nervous. I'll be alive.

but the heart taht beats in my chest wont be mine.

[greenwitch]

:woah: :woah: :woah: :woah: :woah:

[greenwitch]

:awwman: :awwman: :awwman: :awwman: :awwman:

I'm so nervous.

[greenwitch]

Diana help me stop loving him. Give me the strength to give him up, to stop remembering him, give me the strength to forget. please. Give me courage to move on, give me courage to smile like I used to.

Help me stop loving him....

[greenwitch]

I feel so unwanted.
So incredibly unwanted.
I feel like I don't matter, I'm being treated like crap by everybody around me, and I have so many things going on that I just feel... insignificant. unwanted.

[WickedBttrfly]

:( Life really sucks sometimes, and people don't always treat you like you deserve. But don't take that as something that's wrong with you. Be strong. You're very much wanted!!! And noone is insignificant.

[BlackMagicalCat]

:awwman: :awwman: :awwman: :awwman: :awwman:

I'm so nervous.
Lord,please bring greenwitch back to us safely and dont let her pass before her time,put you hand over her heart and comfort her soul,speak to her when she needs a comforting presence and be a light to her,stand by her bedside i ask you Lord,let your holy angels constantly protect and keep her,,,strenghten her from within and let your precious Holy Spirit constantly dwell in her heart forever,and Lord,should it be your will to take her,cary her in your arms and hold her tight as she crosses deaths river,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,fill her with your love,protect,guard ,and watch over her soul,,,,,,,,,,,,I ask all this in your name Lord Jesus,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Amen............. :heartbrea :sadman: :sniffsnif :wah:,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and Lord,please put the broken pieces of this childs heart back together again,in a way that only you can do,i thank,praise and honour you on her behalf,amen

[greenwitch]

Lord,please bring greenwitch back to us safely and dont let her pass before her time,put you hand over her heart and comfort her soul,speak to her when she needs a comforting presence and be a light to her,stand by her bedside i ask you Lord,let your holy angels constantly protect and keep her,,,strenghten her from within and let your precious Holy Spirit constantly dwell in her heart forever,and Lord,should it be your will to take her,cary her in your arms and hold her tight as she crosses deaths river,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,fill her with your love,protect,guard ,and watch over her soul,,,,,,,,,,,,I ask all this in your name Lord Jesus,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Amen............. :heartbrea :sadman: :sniffsnif :wah:,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and Lord,please put the broken pieces of this childs heart back together again,in a way that only you can do,i thank,praise and honour you on her behalf,amen


:smoochypo :smoochypo :smoochypo :smoochypo :smoochypo :wah: :wah:
I must thank you azzeenasman for everything you've done, all your prayers, all your kindness and caring, for the beautiful music, and card, and all of the support you've given me.
We were once but strangers to each other but you've changed that, and now you are truly one of my dearest friends here, and I must admit that I do love you. :) :hugz:

[greenwitch]

goddess bless me and my new heart.

give me strength to heal faster and stronger every day, and the will to carry my battle scars with pride.

Let my broken heart heal just as fast as the real one, with newfound strength and resiliance for tomorrow.

Give me eyes that will not lead me blindly, but will instead see what beauty I might behold, and the beauty of others- no matter how ugly they may at first seem.

Bless my hands that they may teach your acts of grace and love, so that they may craft only the great and beautiful.

Bless my feet so that they may carry me where flowers blossom and where skies are a brilliant blue. Let them dance freely without care, and with glory and grace and spirit like the one that lives within me.

So Mote It Be

[greenwitch]

:flowers: Spring sits outside my window beckoning me..... :flowers:


Gracious Goddess Thank you for this beautiful time, it brings a smile to my face with all the memories and loves....

[greenwitch]

Goddess help him to remember... to remember how we loved each other, to remember how we enjoyed every second of each others company. Heal his mind and his injury so he may remember, so he may be himself and know who I am. Goddess I am trying my best to jog his memory back, but to no avail. I need your guidance and assistance. Goddess please help me before I lose what sanity I have left. please...

[greenwitch]

*big smile*

HE REMEMBERS!!!! oh Goddess thank you!! he remembers, he remembers, he remembers! and whats more- when he did- he cried out for me because I wasnt there!!! Oh Goddess I love you!!!! you are ever gracious to me and to those that I love, thank you thank you thank you for not taking this from me!

[greenwitch]

just.... let me heal.... in more ways than one.... I just need to heal, need to remember love again.....

[greenwitch]

help me find inner peace in this turmoil..

[greenwitch]

why am I getting these migraines? the motrin wont work, nothing will and they stay for days! Goddess make the pain stop!

[greenwitch]

Goddess be with me always.

Help my friend Stephanie, she's in great pain right now and is walking away from her life and the ones she loves and who love her, all because of a complete misunderstanding. Guide her so she may know happiness again, so she may find some comfort in all of this confusion.

Goddess guide my spirit so it dances freely as before and so I heal fast as possible. Spring dances outside my window daily and I wish so badly to go outside and be active as I used to be. Heal my heart so it may beat strong and steady.

Goddess Be with my friends and family as I love them dearly. I have many friends here as well who ahve helped me in my toughest and hardest times, be with them and love them as you love me. Bless their paths so they may know your ways of magick and love and light. There are friends I have made who are no longer friends, but instead are family, bless them too for they are always there when I need them, and I return that favor as often as I can and as best I know how.

Blessed Be

[greenwitch]

Why do guys have to suck so bad? Why? And why can't I stop loving him, why can't I forget about him, get over him and just leave him in my past where he belongs? Goddess why do I still love him, why can't I STOP loving him?! It hurts so bad, he keeps going back and forth and back again and then away and it just kills me... makes me want to resort back to my old habits, hurting myself to know that I'm not dead inside, to release all thats kept inside.. Goddess Please help me... I don't want to start cutting again, and I don't want to love him anymore, it hurts too bad, oh goddess it hurts too bad...

[greenwitch]

I think I think too much....

and it's really starting to take it's toll on me. ugh... :blech:

[greenwitch]

what the hell is wrong with me Goddess?

I know he's bad for me, I know that our relationship is NOT a good one and yet I still keep taking him back! I've given him so many chances and he keeps messing them up and I know that I shouldn't put up with any of the bull that he keeps sending my way... but I do! I love him I know I do, and I probably always will but this is ridiculous!

He's hurt me so many times before and I know that it'll happen again. His indecision is what kills me every time, he's overbearing and controlling, he's manipulative and over protective.... and yet I love him and can't seem to let go! There is someone else who I like a lot and who likes me so much right back but I'm afraid of telling Mike (the one I love) that I like someone else... that I can't be with him. I don't want to hurt him, I hate hurting people and I know this would do it....

Goddess What do I do?!

[Earthy]

Oh hon :hugz:
I have so been there. It's not easy and sometimes, no matter how much you love them, you have to let them go. Some people just will not change no matter how much they promise to.
I pray you find the strength to make the decision which is right for you.:hugz:

[greenwitch]

Goddess GIve me Strength to Say What I Must.

[ravenmyst]

:hugz:

[BrigidMoon]

:hugz:


:smoochypo

[greenwitch]

It is Done.

I broke things off with him for good now, though I hear him crying and it breaks my heart to hear his words in pain I know that I must stay strong and stand alone. I comfort him, telling him that this is what I need. His only constant reply is that what he needs is me. It hurts so much to tell him that I don't need him as a lover, but as a friend. And that though I love him I can not be with him because of all the control.
Things were lovely while they lasted and now I have no choice but to place those lovely things in my past and move on to new loves and new smiles.
But I am so afraid.
I am so afraid of the release I've given myself, and so afraid of falling into that same kind of control, that same manipulation that I fell so easily for with him. *sigh*

Goddess I am so Afraid.
Please help me to release my fear... I wish to be loved and to love in return but I fear it so damn much...

[greenwitch]

:nuhuh: why am I so weak to guilt trips? WHY?! :nuhuh:

[greenwitch]

I think my heart is confused!

part of me wants to give my love to someone new, someone absolutely amazing in every way, and the other... wishes I still had what I've given up... :confused: :confused: :confused: :confused:

[greenwitch]

why me? why? why why why why?

[greenwitch]

:wth:

Goddess I live in fear. I'm afraid of everything, I'm afraid of what will happen in my day as I take steps outside on my own, I'm afraid of the fact that now I have no one to go back to every night when things go wrong, I'm afraid of the fact that I gave up someone I love so much... and that when I trace my thoughts they don't always lead to him and for some reason it scares me....

oh Goddess Please help me...

[greenwitch]

Goddess save me from myself and my own selfdestructive ways.... save me from getting back into a bad relationship, save me from causing myself harm by making this commitment to another who hurts me so much.....

Goddess Diana give me strength to bear my burdens and to make my own decisions for me, give me strength to let go of what I need to, and to move on with my own life and away from those who wish me harm. Goddess Diana hear me please, grant me your strength.... please...

[greenwitch]

:wah: why does it hurt so bad!!!

[greenwitch]

goddess help me fix myself... :geez:

[greenwitch]

I am calm... I embody serenity.... The air I breathe is sweet and clear of all struggles and all turmoil... I am at peace with myself and with all that is around me.... I feel the earth beneath my feet and I know I am alive....

Goddess Diana... I am Strong, and I am Free.

[greenwitch]

Give me strength so I may breathe with the comfort of knowing that I'm strong, that I am ready and able to be on my own, I love myself and all that I am, and that is reason enough for me to move on. Goddess Diana I follow in your steps of strength and pure love, I embody you, I am you, we are one. I am your strength and your love. I am Diana.

So Be It.

[greenwitch]

Diana, within your strength I have remembered to smile, and I have remembered what it is like to have the love of family, Thank you for the family you have given me here at mystic wicks, and thank you for the support and kindness that I recieve from them daily. :fpraise:

[greenwitch]

Thank you for my success in all the arts I participate in!! The money I recieved tonight at my gallery showing will help put me through college for music! I am so blessed for my talents and I shall not let them go to waste.

[greenwitch]

Don't let me get lost again.... I fear I wont be able to find my way back like I did this last time....

[Earthy]

Oh darling :hugz:
You're not alone..ever.

[greenwitch]

Thanks Mom....

Goddess I thank you for once again for the loving family I have here, for the support they give me and for putting a smile on my face. Thank you for allowing me a sort of sanctuary here among the people that I know do not judge me for what they don't know, and whom I know will listen if I ask. These people constantly give and they do it with such fathomless love and kindness and caring that it still amazes me.
Goddess please shed light on the friends of mine who are so surrounded by shadow and darkness. Let them see that there is good in this great world of ours, and that there is love and they are blessed for their challenges as well as for what is easy. Keep Earthy in your mind, my mystic wicks mom, she cares so ceaselessly and is one of those people that I hope I always know, one of those people that has so huge a heart I wonder how it fits in her chest. Help Aminta heal well after her surgery, she is still sore and is healing slowly, give her a speedier recovery so she may go about and be silly again. Sennefer has returned! and is doing well enough, but I ask that you keep her safe and free from any further injury that would put her in the hospital... let her go back to crazy posting in Just Silly. Keep the rest of my family in the cradle of your heart, keep them safe and keep them warm.

Blessed Be.

[Earthy]

:hugz:

[greenwitch]

I feel so drained...

[greenwitch]

I feel magick flowing through my veins and I finally feel at home

[greenwitch]

At my fingertips are worlds unknown
To anyone but me
Ears pricked to the sounds of drums
That make my soul dance and sing
Fires within my very veins ignite
And burn forever pure
Sticky sweet raptured bliss
There's Magick at my Fingertips.

[greenwitch]

Goddess I just broke his heart, I ask that you make it easier for him to heal, that he forgive me once it's over with, make his heart whole once more, let him love again with someone new... Goddess I didn't mean to hurt him so, I'm so terribly sorry. I could feel his heart breaking.I could feel it every time he spoke... I am so terribly sorry for it... I had no idea he cared for me so much but Goddess please make his pain subside, please make it go away, make it stop hurting him so...

[greenwitch]

Diana just give me strength to survive these next two weeks before I'm home again. Just give me the will to be myself and stay strong in all of these fights and arguments. Guide me with your hands and protect me from my foes, let me love myself enough to stand tall and go on with my life.

[greenwitch]

Diana let me embody your strength and survival skills. For now I am in a dark forest tangled with vines and shadow and I know not the way.

[greenwitch]

I had a very frightening dream last night Goddess....

it was my stepfather.... I was much older and he found me somehow... he killed the man I was married to and made me watch him beat my children.... kill them.... and then he went on to me and hurt me in so many ways.... I was unconscious I suppose... I couldnt move in the end... and he set my home on fire with me in it...

what does this mean? I woke up crying it scared me so much.. so much death and all in his revenge... I know I have a slight fear of him but I was so sure he couldn't hurt me... so sure that I was safe and then with that dream now I feel so scared and alone again.... oh Diana please save me...

[greenwitch]

Only the strongest will survive. and By the Goddess I am surviving.

[Earthy]

Because you are strong..love makes you strong..and you are never alone :hugz:

[greenwitch]

Goddess be with Flar in these times, give him comfort and guide him safely to the other side with open arms... and be with Frejya as these are painful times indeed, let her know she is not alone and that she is loved, comfort her in this.

[greenwitch]

Goddess I hope he gets this back times three, I hope he realizes how much damage he's caused not only on himself but on his own damn kids!! :wah: Goddess let him know this, these tears I cry that once were so warm and full of pain are now cold and filled utter hatred!

[greenwitch]

I am happy Goddess.... Happy... this feeling I have is unbelievable... where I once thought I held happiness now I know the true feeling of it because it sits in my chest... my stomach is calm and my mind isn't filled with so much painful thoughts and I don't hide anymore. Now I am open and free and I know how to smile, I know how to be ME... I am artistic, I am talented, I am smart, I am safe, I am strong.. I am HAPPY... and whats more.... I am loved, by more people than I'm sure I know... and it is a wonderful thing...

[Earthy]

Oh Greeny :hugz:
I'm so glad you found it all within yourself, i could see all this but you need to find it for yourself, and you have :)

[greenwitch]

gracious goddess forgive for my assumptions.... they always lead me astray and give me the chance to royally screw things over with those that I love.... grant brett some clarity... he needs it more than most I've ever known, give him peace, guide him to love himself and know the massive amounts of strength he possesses.....

[Earthy]

May you find some peace in your difficult week hon :hugz:

[greenwitch]

I fear for one of my dearest friends.... the girl he now likes and is going for is known for breaking the kindest and most worthy of hearts.... she'll take a pure hearts glory and obliviate it... and I know that if she does this to him he'll fall apart...Goddess Diana bless his heart and protect him from any pain further caused to his already injured soul, give him the strength to carry on in whatever means he should and be strong as always, fight as always, and learn to love himself if others should show to him that they do not.....

Goddess be sure, be sure that Earthy is safe from harms way and protected.. she had a horrible start to the day and sounds as if it was a close call.... goddess let her know she is alive and strong, stronger than she thinks or gives herself credit for. She has shown me what a real mother should be like, even if it's only over the internet.... she's shown me more love and kindness than my own mother.... so all I ask is that you keep her safe, keep her warm and protected.... so that she see's another day, and many more after that.

Goddess I ask one thing only for myself. I ask for clairity and calm, in this reckless week I have felt out of control just flailing about wildly trying to make things right... trying so hard to be free and be who I am... and yet none of my attempts have succeeded. Goddess Diana give me the strength to recognize my wrongs and the will to set them right, give me the clairity I need and the calm I thirst for so I may be at peace again...

[Earthy]

:hugz: darling.
It is so easy to love you, and i would be proud to have a daughter like you.

Diana, please grant Greenwitch all she truly desires, take away her worries and anxieties and let her be free to be the wonderful soul she really is.
So mote it be.

[aluokaloo]

:hugz:

[greenwitch]

Bless those who love me, bless those who care for me and who have been constant in my life. Bless those who give me a second thought, and those who guide me and teach me ways to survive the curveballs that are thrown at me.

Guard those I love with your strongest protection, keep them from harm and any pain that should come to them, Keep them from any who wish wrong upon them.

Goddess in your love and light, protect my loved ones day and night.

[greenwitch]

I'm so happy I'm happy. :)

[greenwitch]

what if I'm not good enough? my dreams you know them the best, my ambitions, to be on stage to be singing, my voice to a microphone.... just the same dream as so many others do have... it's everything to me... to have what it takes, the only career the only thing that I could ever be happy in... what if I can't do it? am I good enough?

[greenwitch]

I need to learn to let go.... there is a lot that I still carry around that I simply don't need to... I can't even meditate properly because I'm too on the edge.. I can't let go... but I need to.... goddess help me...

[greenwitch]

Goddess... will I ever be more than a disappointment to my family? Will they ever stop looking down on me, telling me I'm nothing, that I'm wrong... I am the price... my flaws were made by the life I've had to live... and they blame me for them when I know no other way to be... I am the result of their actions and they yell at me for the way I am... when I am this way because it's the only way I could survive... Goddess will they never know? Will they never see who I am, why I am me, why wont they stop critisizing me? Will I ever be happy for more than a mere moment? :wah: Goddess, why? Yes I make mistakes but it's how I learn, it's how I grow... it's how everything becomes mature, by making mistakes, by learning from them, they survive by adaptation... so why am I the one who takes abuse for it? Why do I get punished for growing?

[greenwitch]

I wish he would stop, I really do. My father used to do it, it was all he ever did and thats how everything all fell apart. I can't let go of that, My family used to be my world and then it all just blew up because he couldnt wouldnt stop. Goddess I dont want to lose him too, please don't let me lose him....

[greenwitch]

Samhain is coming up... and I'm so very Excited Goddess!

[greenwitch]

Blessed Mabon!!
Today it rains and it rains hard.. storms across the sky, leaves blowing from the trees, and a chill in the air... it is indeed Autumn! I'm going to go out into my sanctuary in the woods to leave some offerings to nature, to the animals as well, and maybe to clean up some branches away so I can cast a circle easier... I might make some garlands of popcorn for the birds, everything is dying and they need some food.

Blessed be the Harvest time! Blessed be this day of Mabon and celebration of the equinox!

[greenwitch]

Goddess I am clearing space for an outdoor sanctuary! I've cleaned the messes some have left there, and I'm clearing the floor for new ground to be shown... the friends who are celebrating Samhain with me have decided to help make it a sanctuary for me, and the place where we are to celebrate Samhain.... We all felt so much power there, the same power that I've felt since I stumbled across that very place.... today I am going to take a rake there to clear some of the pine needles away for us.... and I'm going to gather more branches to create a pentagram of woods and oak leaves. :apumpkin:

[greenwitch]

I feel so weak... all my energy is completely gone and my mouth matches the rest of my face, and I look so pale, I supose i look about dead... goddess help me heal faster... I'm taking meds and drinking lots of tea and eating as much as I can... but my appetite is practically nothing. *sigh*

[greenwitch]

Goddess Diana I pray to you now with tears in my eyes, please help him overcome this.. I love him more than is possible to even comprehend. I want him to understand that I ask him to quit smoking this stuff because it's the same way my father started out, the same reaction, the same need to do it when others are, when it's in reach of him. Please goddess I don't want to lose him too. My father is no longer mine because his actions have forced me out of the picture and the weed and other drugs in. But Goddess Diana I pray of you bless him with the strength to understand my intentions and realize his need to quit, give him strength to stand up to himself and his habit. I love him far too much to give up, far too much to let this happen.... Goddess Diana please...

[greenwitch]

Goddess Diana I thank you... he is doing so well.... it seems he has done well with quitting and I'm so glad for it.... please continue to grant him strength so he can be rid of his vice for good, so that we both may continue in happiness for the rest of our days... blessed be...

[greenwitch]

Goddess... I feel that something terrible is coming... something terrible indeed....... protect me when it hits.... Protect me Diana....

[greenwitch]

why do I feel so unhappy? something isn't right anymore....

[greenwitch]

Last night there was blood on the moon... a sign of troubles to come and come quickly... Diana save me from what harm may come to be and protect and guide myself and my loved ones so that I may keep them from harm as well.Blessed Be

[greenwitch]

the closer that samhain gets the more I wonder if those I asked to come to the ritual are the right ones.... none seem very interested and I almost want to cancel and do it on my own... *sigh*

another thing I noticed goddess... the spirits on this land are restless.... even with the protection spells and cleansing they keep finding a way through and entering the house, I can feel them so strongly, and they are not nice either. they wish harm, and it's almost a choking feeling.... a weight on my chest... goddess tell me what to do.... Hekate.... please show me the way....

[Earthy]

Hekate is one of my goddesses too.
She will hear your cry sweetie :hugz:

[greenwitch]

Hekate, let me see the old and dead and move on from the pains my past has given me... Goddess of Old and Wise, grant your wisdom to let me see what I have overlooked, guide me.

Diana, give me the strength to push away my vices, to live on another day in triumph and happiness.

[greenwitch]

whoever has the ability to calm my aggravated nerves today and keep me from losing my job by disemboweling my boss, then please make sure I am kept in check... today is a bad day....

[greenwitch]

please bless gramma as she's passed away.... I know she's in a better place, keep her warm and love her just as she loved me.

[greenwitch]

everyone has been so very stressed lately. Honestly I don't even have much of a reason, other than I'm bleeding profusely for the next 5 days. But everyone is really easily aggravated, or annoyed. Like Mike got annoyed really fast at Zach's house because Zach's mom was nit picking everything.... mike doesn't get annoyed that easy.. so he came home today really agitated and needed to just get away.... I wonder what it is that's driving people mad?

[greenwitch]

Goddess Bless me and Mine...

[greenwitch]

why does it always have to be me?

why why Why