Just a thought.

[soilsigh aingeal]

I know several people who say that they're trying to find their place in church (they're Christian). Like they just don't fit in. Why do you think people don't search other religions and find what is right for them? It confuses the crap out of me, and I try to understand. I'm guessing it's mostly fear of the unknown or maybe having been drilled with the Hell bit too much. What do you all think?


I should have emphasized that it isn't specifically the church itself. I know people who've been to many churches and still don't feel right and can't find their place and feel completely faithless. If they feel faithless I don't understand why not search somewhere else. Even if somewhere else, is just simply a different denomination of Christianity. If I felt faithless, I don't think I could continue to search the same places for answers, I'd have to look in other places as well.

[Akhkharu Asgard]

Perhaps its the rules of the chruch they do not agree with. Every church can create its own rules. I've been to a few in my day and seen different rules and such and big groups suddenly leave. Perhaps that is the problem. And perhaps they are the most comfortable with a monotheistic faith where all they have to do is believe in Jesus and all that. It might just be the church.

[zehava]

well, my parents are very comfortable being Christian, and they are still searching for a church they feel comfortable in. every church has a different 'feeling' to it, even if the beliefs are the same or similar to the church next door. and every church changes as new people join and old people leave, kwim?

so they don't search outside of their choice of religion because it's not the religion itself they are uncomfortable with.

-z

[Rudas Starblaze]

my biggest problem is im a night owl (this is too early to be awake aaahhhhhh!). most churches arent open in the middle of the night! :rotfl:

[Athena-Nadine]

Because I don't think they feel any need to search for a new religion. The one they have fits them just fine. They just don't care for some churches. Why should someone seek out a new religion and leave their god(s) just because they don't like their house of worship? Should Wiccans who don't care for some covens not be Wiccan anymore?

[Lunamoth]

Perhaps it's the "flavour" of Christianity that isn't speaking to them. The word "Christian" is so broad. Or perhaps they aren't comfortable with the congregations they encouter, the actual people in this church or that church.

[audi]

::nods:: i would have to agree with the 'fear of the unknown' if they want religious peace enough i think they will be willing to look 'outside the box' ::shruggs:: :fishtank:

[arctic splash]

I don't think it's usually about fear; it's more that Christianity really speaks to them, they feel an amazing connection with Jesus and his teachings, but they have a hard time finding a church that feels right to them.

[Athena-Nadine]

::nods:: i would have to agree with the 'fear of the unknown' if they want religious peace enough i think they will be willing to look 'outside the box' ::shruggs:: :fishtank:
Some people don't need to "look outside the box."

Why is it that it seems to be automatically assumed that if one doesn't seek to change one's religion at the first sign of conflict, one is often seen as weak, afraid, or close-minded? Has it never occurred to anyone that there are people who are deeply loyal to their god(s) and their religion so choose to look for their place within it instead of outside it?

I've been the same religion for over 20 years. I have not always been happy with everything, and I have questioned occasionally. I have never, not once, looked outside of my religion for an answer before attempting to exhaust every possibility of finding one inside it. *...shrugs...* My loyalty to my gods and the desire to serve Them is the entire basis of my religion, just as a Christian's loyalty to his/her god is the basis of his/hers. I am not going to seek to abandon Service and proper piety to Them just because I'm not comfortable with some mundane details.

I find it insulting that so many people here seem to think that the more conservative of us can't find "religious peace" without being willing to abandon what we believe in, and that we're automatically accused of something negative like "fearing the unknown." Has it ever occurred to you that those "unknowns" hold no interest to us, and that the fact that we find them completely meaningless has nothing to do with fear? Personally, I don't see how anyone can be so fickle and have religious peace. Spiritual peace, maybe, but not religious. *...shrugs...* But of course, that's just me.

[IvyWitch]

There's a difference between being displeased with a church and being displeased with God. I don't happen to like the church I go to, but there are so many other places out there that I can to to instead. I don't feel like I need to find a new religion, just a better group of people to share it with.

Really, you can't assume that if someone doesn't like a church that means they they're automatically displeased with Christianity and thier own faith.

[soilsigh aingeal]

Really, you can't assume that if someone doesn't like a church that means they they're automatically displeased with Christianity and thier own faith.I'm sorry, I've been doing a lot of this lately, I should have emphasized that it isn't specifically the church itself. I know people who've been to many churches and still don't feel right and can't find their place and feel completely faithless. If they feel faithless I don't understand why not search somewhere else. Even if somewhere else, is just simply a different denomination of Christianity. If I felt faithless, I don't think I could continue to search the same places for answers, I'd have to look in other places as well.

[soilsigh aingeal]

I find it insulting that so many people here seem to think that the more conservative of us can't find "religious peace" without being willing to abandon what we believe in, and that we're automatically accused of something negative like "fearing the unknown." Has it ever occurred to you that those "unknowns" hold no interest to us, and that the fact that we find them completely meaningless has nothing to do with fear? Personally, I don't see how anyone can be so fickle and have religious peace. Spiritual peace, maybe, but not religious. *...shrugs...* But of course, that's just me. If I have insulted you in any way, I am sorry, that's not what I meant in any way. I know that different Christian denominations look at others in different ways, for example. My friend's mom told me when I was younger that I would go to Hell because I was not Catholic... I was Methodist. I understand that they may feel connected with Christianity.

[Athena-Nadine]

If I have insulted you in any way, I am sorry, that's not what I meant in any way. I know that different Christian denominations look at others in different ways, for example. My friend's mom told me when I was younger that I would go to Hell because I was not Catholic... I was Methodist. I understand that they may feel connected with Christianity.
No, you didn't offend me. :) It was just a general statement made toward a growing trend I'm seeing. It wasn't even really directed at the post I quoted. I just quoted that post so mine would make sense.

[Athena-Nadine]

I'm sorry, I've been doing a lot of this lately, I should have emphasized that it isn't specifically the church itself. I know people who've been to many churches and still don't feel right and can't find their place and feel completely faithless. If they feel faithless I don't understand why not search somewhere else. Even if somewhere else, is just simply a different denomination of Christianity. If I felt faithless, I don't think I could continue to search the same places for answers, I'd have to look in other places as well.
AH. It all makes sense now! :D

I've seen this in people I know as well, and from what I've seen the constant yearning and disappoinment in not finding a church they feel at home in often causes the feelings of faithlessness. A lot of that stems from them feeling like they have to go to church, I think. But all of these people would be shocked to be told that they should look elsewhere, or leave their religion altogether.

I don't know. Faithlessness happens in every religion, to everyone, occasionally. Gods know there were times that I just didn't feel it. As far as Christians go, though, I don't know that I could call it fear of the unknown or even a matter of fear of Hell and Damnation. They just don't think it's possible for there to be any other gods other than their Own. They can't even conceive of the notion. So really, for them to look outside their religion would go against everything they believe. And whether they were taught to believe it or believe it in their own right, that's what they believe.

The issue with Denominations is similar, I think. There is a lot of infighting between Denominations, and there always has been. A Catholic is a Catholic, and that's all there is to it (just ask my husband, who still calls himself Catholic, even though he's more agnostic than anything else :lol: ). So when someone is unhappy with their church and their Denomination, it is often a very stressful time for him/her. These people often feel as if they have failed god, themselves, their families, and their communities. Sure, some of it can be attributed to "brainwashing," but most of these people honesly believe in their god, and fight serious amounts of guilt for questioning their faith. At least, this is what I've found in my experience. But I grew up in a very liberal city, and none of the Christians I've known have been "Burn in Hell" fanatics. :)

[MoonDragn]

Ever notice some people just treat church like a social club? they could care less about god they are just there to socialize. Some treat it as a place for dating.

[TornadoAli]

I think most folks will, in time, if they're really unhappy...

[Calen]

AH. It all makes sense now! :D

I've seen this in people I know as well, and from what I've seen the constant yearning and disappoinment in not finding a church they feel at home in often causes the feelings of faithlessness. A lot of that stems from them feeling like they have to go to church, I think. But all of these people would be shocked to be told that they should look elsewhere, or leave their religion altogether.

I don't know. Faithlessness happens in every religion, to everyone, occasionally. Gods know there were times that I just didn't feel it. As far as Christians go, though, I don't know that I could call it fear of the unknown or even a matter of fear of Hell and Damnation. They just don't think it's possible for there to be any other gods other than their Own. They can't even conceive of the notion. So really, for them to look outside their religion would go against everything they believe. And whether they were taught to believe it or believe it in their own right, that's what they believe.

The issue with Denominations is similar, I think. There is a lot of infighting between Denominations, and there always has been. A Catholic is a Catholic, and that's all there is to it (just ask my husband, who still calls himself Catholic, even though he's more agnostic than anything else :lol: ). So when someone is unhappy with their church and their Denomination, it is often a very stressful time for him/her. These people often feel as if they have failed god, themselves, their families, and their communities. Sure, some of it can be attributed to "brainwashing," but most of these people honesly believe in their god, and fight serious amounts of guilt for questioning their faith. At least, this is what I've found in my experience. But I grew up in a very liberal city, and none of the Christians I've known have been "Burn in Hell" fanatics. :)

It is a stressful time! I was raised Catholic, and I got confirmed this month. That was just the way I chose to deal with what you might call a religious conflict of interest between my family and myself. It's a big deal. I didn't have any sleepless nights during the time when I was first learning about Paganism, but that's because I had felt for a long time beforehand that what I was getting in church was not the end all be all of my spirituality. I can understand how other people who were raised in Christianity (or any other religion) might have a hard time even learning about other ways, because they'd feel like they were doing something wrong.
When I read the first post, I wasn't really sure whether it meant that the people who were being referred to had lost their belief in the Christian God, or just didn't like their particular church. Very different problems, with different solutions. If they have lost belief in God, they either need some serious soul-searching, researching, or accepting that they are athiest. If they just don't like their church, they should try to find another one at the first opportunity. Group dynamic makes a huge difference.

[soilsigh aingeal]

AH. It all makes sense now! :D:bigredblu I keep doing that! I think of something and type it, and it makes sense to me, cause I know what I'm talking about. :lol: Anyway, thanks for your opinions and bearing with me!

[Athena-Nadine]

:bigredblu I keep doing that! I think of something and type it, and it makes sense to me, cause I know what I'm talking about. :lol: Anyway, thanks for your opinions and bearing with me!
Aww, don't worry about it. I do it al the time. :T