Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!

[Rævyn Cigány]

I just need to vent. My best friend in the whole world is digging herself a hole and doesn't even realize it. Her fiancee is the lowest form of creature, calling her HORRIBLE names in front of their 21 month old son, he takes off for days at a time and doesn't carry any of the responsiblity, financial or otherwise, of the relationship. My best friend has been paying every single bill, PLUS, the fiancee has a nasty little "daily" habit, that she's trying to keep up with as well, and if he doesn't get his pot, Gaea forbid, he turns super ugly. He has never hit her, thank the Goddess, but the verbal stuff I think is worse than the physical. And on top of all this, they have these long talks and he swears up and down that things are going to get better, but within a few days, he's right back to his old tricks and she's right back to crying herself to sleep. And here I am, her best friend, and I can't do a damned thing about it. :scream::scream::scream::scream::scream:

Okay I'm done now....sorry....

BB

Rae )0(

[Yvonne Belisle]

Send her my way I left that type of situation when my eldest was 3 and I am still dealing with the after affects! My eldest is now 12 and I am consistant so it is far deeper than one may think.

[Margie]

I was in a similar situation also and I'm afraid all you can do is "be there" for her. She needs to realize this for herself and decide what is best for her and her son. No one can tell her how bad he is...she has to decide that all for herself.

Does she defend him or does she realize what he's doing to her? If she does realize how he's killing her spirit I don't think it will be long until she takes action-as long as she knows you and her family is on her side and suppoert her.

Prayers and Strength to your friend.

[Lilu]

:( :( :( That's horrible :( :( :(

I agree with Margie... just try and be there for her, and teach her through example (ie. don't let him rubbish you and tell him it's disrespectful when he says awful things to your friend etc). The time will come when she realises that this is no way to live, and that it's time to help herself, and she is going to need your support when it happens :) Good luck!

BB
Lilu

[Fawn]

I just had to confront a friend over this too. :)

I asked her If when she dreamed of children did she ever see herself raising them in such a manner? No she replied so I asked her to get her hubby to go to parenting classes with her. She did they are and I babysit for free while they attend.

[Faery-Wings]

Originally posted by Fawn
I just had to confront a friend over this too. :)

I asked her If when she dreamed of children did she ever see herself raising them in such a manner? No she replied so I asked her to get her hubby to go to parenting classes with her. She did they are and I babysit for free while they attend.

That is great news Fawn, I hope that it helps them long term. :)

Sadly I have a freind too, who's husband is a major d*** Head. Thay have a son, 3, who has cystic fibrosis. He helps next to nothing, can't keep a job, is a slime to her, and she is pg again. Which is making it worse. I know she would have left him if not for the seriousness of her son's health and the amount of help she needs with that.

I have to tell you, my hubby can drive me crazy too, but in comparison, he is a saint.:D (sometimes he he).

Rae, has your friend suggested some sort of counseling- NA or some anger program? The thing that is most scary is that this child is going to grow up thinking that being rude to women inthe right way. :(

Good luck to your friend. And hugs to you- I know how hard it is to witness this and not be able to do anythign to help.


Chris

[emraldshadowcat]

I'm sending positive energy to her and her son. I hope things get better for them:wah:

[Lavender]

Unfortunately, all you can do is to be a good friend & give her the support she needs. She has to decide for herself when enough's enough!

[Arduinna]

(((HUGS)))

I know how hard this is. I am going through the same thing with a close friend. I wish there was something we could do. You are right though, we can't do a dang thing about it. :-( It is so frustrating and painful to see a friend treated so badly.

Vent away! We all need to sound off sometimes.

[Myst]

Sometimes people have to hit rock bottom before they can move forward. What a great friend you are to be there for your friend and care for her so much.

Rant away, we won't mind :)

[faeriedust]

you just described my daily life. the life of your friend that is. i am dealing with the same thing from my husband. my advice.. just stand beside her no matter what. i am just now getting my courage to leave. you are doing so much by being her friend and if and when she decides to leave, it will give her so much more strenght knowing your there for her. i have lost all my friends and family due to the way my husband treats me. just never let you friendship go, beleive it or not it will help he do the right thing.

[Margie]

How is your friend doing? Do you have an update? Any change? How have you chosed to act towards her regarding this?