x_pixiedust_x
January 26th, 2005, 05:32 PM
Hey guys, We'll I just copied this from my livejournal because I wasn't really sure how to explain the situation to you guys. I think it explains it ok, if you have any questions ask. Well...I don't know.
Last night was wierd.
Went to Katherines for the bbq but practically just after I arrived I receieve a message from Dad (parents are still in Lorne but come back Sunday or something) telling me they wanted me out by february. This is only four days away. I knew they were serious this time because usually its mum who threatens, and other things they said. Decided I couldn't stay at Katherines. I told everyone I felt sick and went home.
Talked to Shani on the phone, wanted to catch up or something but she was near the MCG with Jason and it seemed to far away. Tried to sleep (it was only about 7pm at this stage) but decided sleep wasn't going to happen. Ended up doing exactly the same thing I did last wednesday, getting stoned at Marks. Claire said I could crash at hers for a while. I also have a few other people I can stay with until I find somewhere more permanent. I hope I get the job at the hurstbridge fruit shop, rent in Diamond Creek is very cheap and its only two stations away, so I would move there.
I have to pay my car rego on feb seventh. I don't know if I will be able too. There is no way in hell my car will get a roadworthy so if I don't pay this I will loose my car. Its going to be a long time before I can afford a new one.
I have a few days before my parents arrive home to sort out what I am going to be doing. I think I will start packing tonight. No matter how much I try and plan what I'm going to do, I really can't see past the present moment. Although I'm forcing myself to get up, go to work, continue on with the things I have to do to get by, I feel like I could just sleep all day.
I am worried about my health. My ambulance membership runs out soon and I have to pay for a new one myself. I don't have $50 to spare. I haven't been to the doctor in at least six months because I can't afford it, and now I need to go but it just isn't possible. I don't have my own medicare card yet so bulkbilling isn't an option. I don't know what I'm meant to do, I've never been independant before. So many things have to be thought about and I don't know what I'm doing.
It's not easy to keep motivated but I'm holding onto all the optimism I can, knowing that things will work out and I will find a way. I have faith in myself to know that even if I do end up living in a dingy flat off bread and water I can still be content, and do things in my own time. Nothing ever stays the same, things are always changing.
I can see that my parents feel I have to learn things the hard way and I know things will change in the future and they will still love me but I also know this changes everything, and there will always be that anger there. We have very different views on life. Nothing can get rid of that anger.
Last night was wierd.
Went to Katherines for the bbq but practically just after I arrived I receieve a message from Dad (parents are still in Lorne but come back Sunday or something) telling me they wanted me out by february. This is only four days away. I knew they were serious this time because usually its mum who threatens, and other things they said. Decided I couldn't stay at Katherines. I told everyone I felt sick and went home.
Talked to Shani on the phone, wanted to catch up or something but she was near the MCG with Jason and it seemed to far away. Tried to sleep (it was only about 7pm at this stage) but decided sleep wasn't going to happen. Ended up doing exactly the same thing I did last wednesday, getting stoned at Marks. Claire said I could crash at hers for a while. I also have a few other people I can stay with until I find somewhere more permanent. I hope I get the job at the hurstbridge fruit shop, rent in Diamond Creek is very cheap and its only two stations away, so I would move there.
I have to pay my car rego on feb seventh. I don't know if I will be able too. There is no way in hell my car will get a roadworthy so if I don't pay this I will loose my car. Its going to be a long time before I can afford a new one.
I have a few days before my parents arrive home to sort out what I am going to be doing. I think I will start packing tonight. No matter how much I try and plan what I'm going to do, I really can't see past the present moment. Although I'm forcing myself to get up, go to work, continue on with the things I have to do to get by, I feel like I could just sleep all day.
I am worried about my health. My ambulance membership runs out soon and I have to pay for a new one myself. I don't have $50 to spare. I haven't been to the doctor in at least six months because I can't afford it, and now I need to go but it just isn't possible. I don't have my own medicare card yet so bulkbilling isn't an option. I don't know what I'm meant to do, I've never been independant before. So many things have to be thought about and I don't know what I'm doing.
It's not easy to keep motivated but I'm holding onto all the optimism I can, knowing that things will work out and I will find a way. I have faith in myself to know that even if I do end up living in a dingy flat off bread and water I can still be content, and do things in my own time. Nothing ever stays the same, things are always changing.
I can see that my parents feel I have to learn things the hard way and I know things will change in the future and they will still love me but I also know this changes everything, and there will always be that anger there. We have very different views on life. Nothing can get rid of that anger.