Tired of the loneliness

[LadyAutumnCat]

Hello friends,


I am tired, tired of so much, but the loneliness is the worse. I have thrown myself into my spirituality like never before, I'm a former athiest who dabbled in the craft for a while, then just went full on into athiesm. I came home after a long absence from my beliefs thanks to one of my classes in college, the Goddess came into me and that day I had a wonderful epiphany and my life changed forever. I found what I was looking for after the death of my greatest friend and thought I can cope, I have found what was missing, I will make it. My fiance was in England at the time, when he came back home, he broke it off with me, after almost six years, a home and pets. It's been over six months and I'm tired of the pain. Of loving him so much and everyday wanting him back. He does not want to lose my friendship, still loves me and tells me he thinks about me all the time, but he's going through a depression, he needs to look within. I'm tired of looking within and waiting, I'm tired of hurting and missing all that I had.
I don't know if I have a point here, but I ask Goddess to bless me and alight me on my path. I just can't find my way, or is this misery and pain my way? Last night, I stood out in the rain, there was no visible moon and all I felt was emptiness. I wanted the full moon to bathe me with light, but it's not her time. Will I always feel so empty and vacant? When will the moon shine down on me again?
I'm tired............

[Lavender]

LadyAutumnCat, I wish I could just reach through my computer & give you a big hug. I will include you tonight when I burn my incense. I will send you all the strength I can. I wish I could do more.

hugs!

[Dria El]

I know how you feel. I've been alone for a few years now and though you never quite 'get over it', it does get better.

I'll keep you in my thoughts...

Blessings to you...

[Emy]

Ohhhh LadyAutumnCat, really wish I had the cure for you... but I don't , however don't worry, things will change, things WILL get better! I am sending you positive energy hope that it helps, and I am gonna look through my BoS and see if I have got something in there for you, just little thing that might help you...

Brightest blessings, may the Lady make sure that you really can feel her light shining upon you once more... beause you know she is shining down on you... she is...

[monark0208]

Ladyautumncat:

hello. I know exactly how you feel. our situations are similar, only i left him for the better of my kids.

i can identify with your feelings of loss, sorrow and weariness.

perhaps if we were to talk or get to know each other, we could help each other through this???

from the small time that i have been on this board, everyone has been positive and helpful.

i know that after a while you just get tired of hearing happy thoughts but,

"We can all get through to tomorrow"

i believe that there is a greater power that watches over us. and that every good or bad time is an experience to learn and grow.
we just don't see it at the time.

if you read the replies i am sure everyone will send you, you will realize that you are NOT ALONE.

please contact me we can walk this path together!

monark
my email and aim are in my profile.

remember, you do not need your eyes to see, or your ears to hear that which is all around you and deep inside.

[LadyAutumnCat]

Thanks for all the thoughts and kindness, I am still depressed of course, but what can I do? It's a part of life, right? I wanted to thank all of you for your thoughts, words and blessings, they mean the world to me!!

Monark0802 if you would like to share with me I would love too, I am just too tired to pm right now, about to go to bed. But please contact me.

to Emy, Dria El and WildChild, thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time out to think of me, burn incense etc. You don't know how much you touched my heart.

I love you all!!

[Sequoia]

ooooh lady autumn cat. . . .*HUGE HUGE HUGGLES* I"m sending positive energies your way *HUG* oooh I hope it's gets better soon for you *HUG*

We're all with you, we're all here for you. If you'd like, you can AIM me anytime ^_^ *hugs*

take care!!!!

[Xander67]

HI Im new here too and I am in NJ
if you need someone to talk to I am here
Xander

[Starlight]

ohh poor dear! Sometimes there are ups and downs in life and I believe that that is fair but when someone like yourself has been delt with more downs than ups.......Things will get better no matter how hopless things may seem. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. :)

[lavendermoon]

LadyAutumnCat

I know how you are feeling, I too have lost two great friends, one being my dad. I lost my father in law, my dad, my mother in law and step mother within a year. Two passed within a week. It gets better, it takes time. I hope the pain is getting better, I will light a candle for you tonight, this is our night. Their is someone else out there for you, and you will find him someday. Take your time he will come. :rolleyes: I am on my third :D, If you still need to talk, I am also here. Blessed Be!

Lavendermoon

[phoenixsong]

**HUGE big giant hug**
Even when you can't see the Moon, she's there.

[LadyAutumnCat]

THanks to everyone who took the time to respond, I'm still down and lonely. I look how I feel, haggard. Sometimes I look in the mirror and don't recognize the person looking back at me. I don't know what's wrong. I'm lonely, tired and missing my past, the happiness and the friends I've lost along the way. I am glad that I have people here who are kind enough to reach out and care.

THANK YOU!!!

[bansidhe]

Originally posted by phoenixsong
**HUGE big giant hug**
Even when you can't see the Moon, she's there.

even during the daytime! :)
*huge bansidhe huggles*