dealing with anger

[trippingdaisy]

On saturday, a guy grabbed me, shall we say 'innapropriately'. I was annoyed but I ignored it. 1 minute later I had to walk past him again, and he did it again, but worse, so I turned around and yelled at him. after saying something to me which I couldnt possibly repeat here, he held a glass bottle to me and said he was "going to rip my throat out with it".
No-one did anything, which makes me a little mad, but at the same time I wouldnt expect someone to put themselves in danger for me, but some people were laughing. yes, laughing. I'm so angry and I feel so embarrassed. I dont know, I guess I'm not looking for people to send me energy or anything, but if anyone has advice on how to deal with anger, I would really appreciate it. everytime I think of this incident my blood boils, and I start crying again. dammit, I'm crying now. this is the second time in two months this has happened to me. I dont know why, I guess I either just provoke that sort of reaction in people. or I'm a psycho magnet. I just want to let it go and forget about it completely. I hate being angry.

[MoonDragn]

get a pillow and wack something with it til the anger flows out. or go outside and swing a stick at something. Pretend its the guy's head...

[trippingdaisy]

get a pillow and wack something with it til the anger flows out. or go outside and swing a stick at something. Pretend its the guy's head...

laughing already, moondragn, thank-you ;)

[Tea Leaf]

I think you acted wisely confronting the guy. You deafened yourself. I wouldn't have waited until he did it again!
As for the anger -will you see this guy again? If so I've get a come back ready. If not, I think you acted great! I would try to accept your reaction. People can be horrible but you didn't take it... I don't know if I'm helping. :)

[trippingdaisy]

I think you acted wisely confronting the guy. You deafened yourself. I wouldn't have waited until he did it again!
As for the anger -will you see this guy again? If so I've get a come back ready. If not, I think you acted great! I would try to accept your reaction. People can be horrible but you didn't take it... I don't know if I'm helping. :)

of course you are helping! my own aggression probably escalated the situation further. after he groped me I told him that in no uncertain terms that the next part of him that touched me, he wasnt getting back. thats why he held the bottle to me. Its unlikely I'll see him again- even if I do, he was so drunk that I doubt he would recognise me. I was just really humiliated, while he was doing that to me and having everyone standing around and laughing at me like I was the afternoons entertainment. I feel much better today. at the end of the day, I didnt get hurt, and thats how I'm going to look at it. my SO said he felt sorry for me that it had happened, but I should have expected it being there in the first place. I was mad at him for that at first, but he's probably right thinking about it.

[MoonKnight]

Click here to find an instructor near you, so that you can defend yourself against guys like that. (http://inosanto.com/wrapper.php?pageNum_Recordset1=0&totalRows_Recordset1=313&file=instructorlist.php&osCsid=7f17eb1742c55eb6f044ce2786620731&osCsid=7f17eb1742c55eb6f044ce2786620731&osCsid=7f17eb1742c55eb6f044ce2786620731&osCsid=7f17eb1742c55eb6f044ce2786620731&osCsid=7f17eb1742c55eb6f044ce2786620731&osCsid=7f17eb1742c55eb6f044ce2786620731)

[semi]

Moonknight has great advice. Martial arts will not only allow you to defend yourself against jerks like that, but you will also learn anger management skills applicable to any situation.

[trippingdaisy]

Moonknight has great advice. Martial arts will not only allow you to defend yourself against jerks like that, but you will also learn anger management skills applicable to any situation.

Its funny, but I was just thinking that exact same thing. I dont have a problem with anger unless in a situation where I feel physically threatened, but even then I believe its incredibly important to control it- but I find it hard.
I guess I should have been listening to my dad all these years (he taught martial arts- now teaches salsa!), I've done martial arts with him before, at home and in his classes, but then I got sick, then well I was well enough to resume, I had just lost interest, though to be fair I was only 6!
I think it might be a good idea to begin a class, though.

[Xander67]

OMG where did this happen Trip?

Anger release........ Deep Cleansing breaths, Beat your bed with the pillow!

If he does that again, you should file a complaint... or press charges......
him grabbing you like that is sexual harrasment at minimum...

if his intent was to harm you then that is sexual assault.. or asssualt...
and the thing with the glass... that is threatning, makeing threats on your life...
this should be reported if it was at work... if you were in a club or a restaurant, you should let the owner of the establishment know what happened... or the police .

this is a serious matter!

[trippingdaisy]

OMG where did this happen Trip?

Anger release........ Deep Cleansing breaths, Beat your bed with the pillow!

If he does that again, you should file a complaint... or press charges......
him grabbing you like that is sexual harrasment at minimum...

if his intent was to harm you then that is sexual assault.. or asssualt...
and the thing with the glass... that is threatning, makeing threats on your life...
this should be reported if it was at work... if you were in a club or a restaurant, you should let the owner of the establishment know what happened... or the police .

this is a serious matter!


I dont know this idiot, personally........
what happenned was I was at at writing workshop. during the hour break, I went to find my friend. I had literally walked through the door, (of abar- my friend is uually there on match days. when this guy grabbed hold of me. (so I had been there all of oooh... 70 seconds?). Like I said, I retaliated., and the guy took offence to that

I know its a serious matter, and I would like to reort it, but its kinda hard when the owner of the establishment is saying its your fault for being "over reactive" about the situation.

I would also like to say how cool it is that most of the people who have replied to this thread are guys. thats not to say the girls havent been wonderful (which they have) but it re-establishes my faith in men.


mwah!

love Trip xxx

[Xander67]

shhh, don't tell anyone there are still Nice Guys around...:wave: