overwhelmed

[kitty]

ok, this is my first post on this site, but i have been reading other posts and answers to posts like crazy as well as doing my own research. I love the community here! It is open and honest and welcoming and i love it!

my problem is this, i am still searching for my true path and am getting overwhelmed by things. there is so much to learn and figure out! I have read through tons of articles on deities and their origins and none of them feel right. So, i thought 'maybe i just need magick and use of energy without spiritualism' but that didn't feel right. My question is, how do you know which deity is your deity? Did he/she/they choose you or did you choose them? I feel like there is one or more wanting me but i cannot hear it/them. i can sense some larger force and cannot identify it or communicate with it. I have never performed any rituals or spells because i am still so new, but wonder if i should to gain some clarity. i believe that we as humans in conjunction with a larger power can direct energy, but i feel i am missing my larger power counterpart.

Does any of this make sense? I would appreciate responses even if they are only to tell me i am crazy. or you can PM me to discuss this in more detail if you prefer.

[Adrenaline Junkie]

Originally posted by kitty
ok, this is my first post on this site, but i have been reading other posts and answers to posts like crazy as well as doing my own research. I love the community here! It is open and honest and welcoming and i love it!

my problem is this, i am still searching for my true path and am getting overwhelmed by things. there is so much to learn and figure out! I have read through tons of articles on deities and their origins and none of them feel right. So, i thought 'maybe i just need magick and use of energy without spiritualism' but that didn't feel right. My question is, how do you know which deity is your deity? Did he/she/they choose you or did you choose them? I feel like there is one or more wanting me but i cannot hear it/them. i can sense some larger force and cannot identify it or communicate with it. I have never performed any rituals or spells because i am still so new, but wonder if i should to gain some clarity. i believe that we as humans in conjunction with a larger power can direct energy, but i feel i am missing my larger power counterpart.

Does any of this make sense? I would appreciate responses even if they are only to tell me i am crazy. or you can PM me to discuss this in more detail if you prefer.

Just take everything one step at a time. I've been Wiccan for 41/2 years, but I'm still seeking. I'm actually getting into Stregheria (Italian Witchcraft) now.

My matron deity is Aradia. I was always fascinated with her. And on these very boards someone pointed out that, thats how she chose me. Point is, if you think a deity is calling you stop and listen carefully. Look at your fascinations, dreams, relationships, meditations, etc. You should be able to figure it out.

Good luck on your journey and welcome to the community.

[Lilu]

The first thing to ask yourself is what areas have you been interested in, in the past? Greek, Egyptian, Celtic, Aztec, Norse? Any of the above? None of the above? Do you feel more an affinity to animals and nature? If so perhaps you could look into elemental magick? Scott Cunningham has a book on elemental workings called "Earth Power" that has a lot of ideas on working with the elements more specifically than just the God/Goddess.

I think the thing is to sit down and write a list of all your interests and see if there is an underlying pattern. Then work from there, if there is nothing you are interested in yet, perhaps it's just that you haven't found a certain area yet, or perhaps you are a real eclectic person like I am, and need to start making a book of all the different things that ring true for you and incorporating them all into your own special spirituality.

Those would be my suggestions, feel free to PM me if you want to bounce some ideas around - I have many IM systems and there is PM too - look at my profile for the info.

BB
Lilu

[Myst]

Well, I never chose any specific deities or paths until recently. I was just an eclectic witch for several years. Since then I've been into Stregheria, Hellenic Paganism, Faerie Paganism, Celtic Paganism, and now more or less a path I'd call Green Witchcraft. Then again I also like to read about ceremonial and dragon magick too. Don't feel you need to have to choose one path. Maybe you could look into some beginner Wicca books by Silver RavenWolf or Cunningham or anyone else you like, they provide a nice start to this path, then you can read more and learn more as you get comfortable. Maybe someday you'll even choose a pantheon or path, but don't feel you have to :)

[Dria El]

Have you tried meditation?

Btw... Welcome to Mystic Wicks kitty!!! So glad you decided to join us! :)

[kitty]

I want to say thanks for the replies! I had the same idea dria! I bought some candles and a pentacle today and thought since my roomates are gone for the weekend and i have the house all to myself i would do just that - meditate! I have to say though that i am a little afraid, (ok, silly newbie fear coming up) What if i open myself up to allow whatever deity is calling me to come to me and make themselves known, and I get overwhelmed by spirits. and i can't handle them?

What words of wisdom do you have?

[Adrenaline Junkie]

If you call a deity, there is little chance unrelated evil spirits will overwhelm you. If you're in a circle you're protected anyways. It's normal to be a little scared at first, but then you'll feel very comfortable in ritual.

Have fun ;)

[Dria El]

Originally posted by kitty
I want to say thanks for the replies! I had the same idea dria! I bought some candles and a pentacle today and thought since my roomates are gone for the weekend and i have the house all to myself i would do just that - meditate! I have to say though that i am a little afraid, (ok, silly newbie fear coming up) What if i open myself up to allow whatever deity is calling me to come to me and make themselves known, and I get overwhelmed by spirits. and i can't handle them?

What words of wisdom do you have?

Well, I've never had that happen (even outside of a circle). I mean, when you meditate it's not like you're 'calling' anything. Try a simple one like going to your special place (or place of power, or the world tree, whatever...) and ask them to come there. That way you'll feel more comfortable and in control. I wouldn't worry too much about 'things' taking over or being overwhelmed. The only things that have control over you are the ones you GIVE control to. I hope this helps...