Mother in law.....

[IvyWitch]

:fpatricks

Chad and I aren't even married yet, and already she's starting. First, two days after we annouced the engagement and tells her son that she's not giving us a single penny for the wedding, and that we can make my parents pay for the wedding and not invite them (his parents). Now...first of all, Chad's parents are quite wealthy. Like....$5,000 is chump change. My parents on the other hand work 4 jobs between them, and still may not have money to put my little brother through college. You would think she would be happy to help her son get married, but no, not only does she not want to help, she made it clear that she's totally not even interested in going.
So....we decided we're going to have to elope. We just don't have the money to have a regular wedding. We're thinking grabbing about 10 people and going down to Disney to get married. Not a bad idea...not too expensive, intimate and romantic. Well, this still doesn't make her freakin' happy. She doesn't have to pay for it, she doesn't have to go, but NOW she's insisting that there are "finacial considerations", and we have to get married in NY. WTF? I'm sorry, but what kind of legal financial problem could there possibly be that demands a couple get married in the state they live in? Personally I think she's telling him a dirty lie, and is just trying to force him into having the same kind of wedding that his brother had - go down to city hall with dad, sign the papers, go to work and then go out to dinner after work.

:geez: :sadeyes: :2G: :scream:

What the hell is wrong with this woman? Why can't she just be happy her son is getting married? What the hell do I do?

[Black RiverWolf]

tell her to shove it and have the kind of wedding that you want or what ever that can be doen so you will have fun on YOUR day.

[LacyRoze]

You ignore her and do what you and Chad want to do!! It's your day, not hers. I've been in the same boat and it took a long time for me and my in-laws to form a decent relationship. I just stood up to them and told them it was our lives and they could either be a part of it or not but that I would not bow down to them...

[Gwenhwyfar]

Arnt MILs a freakin nightmare?! Id go with the Disney plan just to piss her off. lol. and it would be a great place to get married to boot...so you win both ways! AND you get see Mickey! Congrats on the engagment!

[Semele]

I say do what you want too. If she doesn't want to go or pay then she has no say. Good luck!

[vulfsung]

Have the best wedding you can afford....and pay for it yourself. That's the easiest and best way to get what you want. It's your day, and if you let her bully you into whatever she wants, it sets a bad precedent for the rest of the marraige.

Good luck, and stand your ground.
Blessings on your engagment!!

[Tea Leaf]

Don't listen to her. Not for a second. Do what you want to do. It's your wedding. If you listen to her you will regret it forever. Try to make your and Chad's day special for you both not for anyone else.

[Ceres]

this woman sounds very demanding and difficult to get along with, my sympathies on your MIL to be, but congratulations on your wedding to be! do try not to be too negative around chad, even tho she sounds like she richly deserves it. she is his mother and even if he is agreeing with you about her, it prolly makes him uncomfortable just the same. she will only look worse if u are being fair and understanding.
i am not american, but i think u are right in thinking she is making up reasons to keep u from doing what u guys want to do....perhaps she is hoping to maintain control of her son? i agree with everyone in here - do EXACTLY what u both want to do on your wedding day.

[~SleepyWillow~]

I'm sorry you have to deal with someone like that! I guess I should count myself very lucky from the sounds of yours and other posts. My MIL and I get along famousley..we're very much alike actually..I think she's a terrific woman who raised a hell of a son.

BUT my first MIL was nothing like this...she didn't like me (because Im canadian and white) My ex was straight from Spain and I suppose she wanted her boy to marry a nice Spanish girl. Whatever...I would tolerate her..be kind and mostly let everything go in one ear and out the other. Arguing with a woman who is determined to make you miserable only makes her happier.

Your idea to elope is fabulous! And it doesn't matter a lick where you do it...you could go out to country to a bed and breakfast inn if you wanted to, she would still hate the idea.

I agree with other oppinions here, you do what makes the 2 of YOU happy. This day will be forever in your memories as the day you promised yourselves to each other and it should be filled with happiness and people who SUPPORT you!

After all is said and done..send her one of those little wedding photos...like the ones that say thank you for sharing in our day...except without the little card. :deviltail

[MzNeko]

Just chiming in with the "Do what you want" chorus. :)

Seriously, this is your and your honey's wedding, not hers. I would advise not going into debt if you can help it, but DO go ahead and have the wedding that embodies what you two want, or as close as you can get within your means.

Congratulations and good luck!

[Aine of the Fae]

One more for the elopement bandwagon :D There is no legal or financial reason to get married in New York. In the U.S. each state is legally bound to recognize marriages in other states (the whole gay marriage issue is causing such a huge controversy because of that.)

If you're married in Florida, then you're married everywhere.

As far as financial considerations - is she worried that when she croaks you'll take his inheritance and run with it? If so she may try to push you into a prenuptual agreement with him.

Personally I'd tell her to shove it and go find someone to perform the ceremony tomorrow :lol:

[Mòrag Elasaid Ní Dhòmhnaill]

If she were providing money for the wedding then I would say that she does have some bearing, however seeing as she's not, her wishes and desires matter only as much as the two of you let them matter. If you want to just take a few friends and head to Disney, that is your business.

[IvyWitch]

Well, good news is we've finally got this resolved with his parents.

She made another comment about it on the phone with him the other day, and he got pissed off and told her that she didn't know what she was talking about (as far as having to go somewhere to get the paperwork), and she apparently admitted that she was just assuming that it had to be done that way. So, I think now that he's told her in no uncertain terms that we've got this under control, she's going to stop being psycho.

=)