relationships : age

[The High Queen of Faerie]

is age important to you in a relationship?



it's not that important to me at all... i'm mature for my age, and i don't get along with the kids my age (conflict of interests... they do drugs, i don't, etc). all of the people i have been interested in have been 2+ years older than me, in the least. it hasn't really been bad for the relationships i've been in, we got along fine. i don't really believe a person is their age.

what do you think?

[Fang of Loki]

I voted "Kinda".

It depends on the age difference for me.

[Nightcrawler13]

It really does depend on the age difference to me. Granted, I'm 16...so even 3 years or so seems like a big difference.

[The High Queen of Faerie]

I voted "Kinda".

It depends on the age difference for me.
how much would be uncool for you? :)

[Marishae]

I think it depends on the age you are... when you are younger, 2-3 years can be a big deal, but when you get older, it's not much anymore... however... when you're older and start getting over 10 years difference... that much tends to matter to me... But, it all depends on the people involved... if it clicks, it clicks... age regardless... but... I don't know... I'm still uncomfortable with couples where the age difference is so great that the youngest one is young enough to be the older one's kid... that to me is just too much...

[Flaire]

Kinda.

[Tsuchimaru]

I voted "Kinda".

It depends on the age difference for me.

Same here. Being with someone 20+ older than me would be pretty creepy. Currently, my girlfriend is 2 years younger than me.

[QUEEN OF THE DAMNED]

I'm an idiot and selected the wrong one. I meant to say 'kinda' and said 'yes' instead, so please dont count that vote in yes. I know I suck. My fiancee is 6 years older than me, we have been together since he was 23 and I was 17. Back then it made alot of difference eg. going out, now it hardly makes any, except that I seem to have more energy than him and want to go out all the time.

I think it depends on the people and their maturity levels.

[Zophael]

what Marishae said

[Keroberos]

I'm an idiot and selected the wrong one. I meant to say 'kinda' and said 'yes' instead, so please dont count that vote in yes. I know I suck. My fiancee is 6 years older than me, we have been together since he was 23 and I was 17. Back then it made alot of difference eg. going out, now it hardly makes any, except that I seem to have more energy than him and want to go out all the time.

I think it depends on the people and their maturity levels.

I'm kinda in the same boat as you, my fiancee is 8 years older than me and my friends had a serious problem when we started dating, actually it was only the friends who cared about stuff like that. I think that anything over ten years older is too much, that is just how I feel though. Basically if you can emotionally handle a relation ship with someone a good deal older than you it's fine. The thing is whether you're legal or not, and whether your parents care or not. I was over 18 when I started dating my fiancee, so there wasn't a problem. But if you date an adult when you are still considered a minor, and you have sex, if your parents find out and get mad they can have him arrested for statutory rape no matter if you consented or not. That's really the only problem I think. And I agree that I'd never date anyone the same age as my dad, that a little too electra complex for me.

[SilentDreams]

I voted 'Kinda'. Only because while I try to be very liberal and okay with all age types a 10 year old and a 50 year old aren't going to be "cool" with me. I'm okay with going older and younger than me but not too much. For one thing I'm 17 so I'm limited on how much younger before it gets gross. With older I'm more willing. I have no set age but I guess anything under 28 is cool. Granted this is just what I say now, of course with getting older it will change and these are just "predictions". I can never be sure who I'll fall in love with, regardless of age.

[Rowan Darkmoon]

I voted "kinda." It is and it isn't. For me, I try to go by the rule of divide your age in half and add 7. That tells you how young you can go, as long as it's above 18 if you are above 18 of course. R.S. is four years older then me, which is well within my personal acceptable range. :heartthro

However, I have relatives that are in their mid to late 40's that have spouses that are 20+ years older then them, and they have no problems. I think that as you get older, the importance of the age difference drops dramatically.

[Faeawyn]

Age doesn't matter to me. Its maturity and compatibility. I'm 42 and my husband is 29. We've been together 10 years and its working beautifully :)

[Celtique]

It simply depends on the people. I myself am 22 and my S.O. is 35. *shrug* It works perfectly. Why fix what isn't broken?

[butterflydreams]

I voted kinda. I think age doesn't matter all that much when you get to be older. At my age, it is sort of important to me. I wouldn't want to date anyone over a year younger and woundl't want to date anyone 30 or older (I'm 23). My SO is 12 days older so that works out pretty well.

[Ninjakitten]

Pretending I'm not fully taken for just a moment (by a man 4 years my junior), I'd say I wouldn't date someone old enough to be my dad (or too close), and I wouldn't date much younger than my junior (like, 8ish years). It would mostly depend on the person, though. Then again, I already dealt with being called a cradle robber the first couple of years I started dating my present fiancee, LOL!

[Druchii]

My girlfriend is 23 and I am 30. No problems yet. :)

[Earthy]

It doesn't bother me.All my past boyfriends have been at least 10 years older than me, though my SO is 3 years younger.
I think it depends on the person, i;ve fancied people who are 20 years older than myself, though they haven't acted it.
I've always been older than my years anyway.

[Psyche Ague]

Well, I'm 20 and I'm certainly not going to have too much in common with a 50 year old, so yeah, I suppose it kinda matters to me. I'd like someone close enough in age to be able to relate to my life.

[arctic splash]

Age isn't a *huge* issue for me, as long as she's mature enough to know what she really wants and not be fickle (at least when it comes to a relationship), and as long as she's a child at heart and doesn't mind going out to play.

[boerbabe]

I marked no, but it also depends. With teenagers and young adults, it can because you don;t have the same options of places to go out, ect.

But there's also 18 years between my parents, and they have the most beautiful marriage I've ever seen. I've never dated anyone my own age,a dn never had interest in doing so until recently, and now its about being on common ground and interests rather then age anyway.

[RubyRose]

I don't think age should come into it, unless is a big age gap.

[Fane Ayuma]

i prefer older women, not in the usual boys fantasy way, but because im way older in my mind then my actual age.Most of my friends are anywhere from 21 to 30, and i like it that way, people my own age bore me mostly.

[MoonDragn]

I've dated women 9 years older than me and ones 12 years younger. I don't think age matters as much as compatibility. If you find the right person and your chemistry is right, its going to work no matter what.

[HorseCrow]

No, it does not matter to me.

[misty]

I voted "kinda." I am 26, almost 27 and my husband is 3 years older than me. It has never been an issue. My closest friend is 40. A lot of my guy friends are older than me by 6 or 7 years, although I do have some friends who are a bit younger than I am.

[soilsigh aingeal]

If it is two consenting adults I have no problem with it. It's not my personal preference but I don't have issues with it. I do see a problem with a grown man or woman feeling the need to be with a teenager. If it's that strong, they can wait it out, if it's meant to be, it'll be. I just think it's sick and pedofilish.

[Lupercus]

:heyalove: It used to be important when i was younger. Now that i am "mature" (whatever that means) age has lost all importance to me- the real test is the level of commitment- not the outward trappings.

[lia_amberwolf]

it all depends. When you are a teenager i believe you should keep to the "2 year rule" only be with ppl two years younger or older, otherwise problems can insue. but other than that, love is love and you should be with whoever the heck you want. my HP and HPS are almost 10 years apart. and for those of you who are Wiccan, you KNOW the age difference between Gardener and some of his "ladies".

[Kyra Kismet]

I like older men...about 5 years older

[Aquarian_Moon]

Hmm... I guess that 'kinda' might have been a better voting choice, but I picked 'other' anyways. I truly don't feel like age makes any difference whatsoever for a relationship, so long as both people are mature enough to understand how and why they're getting themselves involved together on an intimate level. It's funny though, because I'm 23 and would never date a 17 or 18 year old, even though it's quite possible that this person would be mature enough. I suppose it's just the uncertainty that would come along with it, or something. Not trusting my own judgement, because the (girl in my case) would be too young for me to know for sure how she's feeling things. It probably has a lot to do with the way society is structured also, with all of its underage laws and everything.

I would happily date a 30 year old though, if there was some strong spiritual connection there. Not much higher however, cuz I would simply be worried about her dying before me (likely, in any event), and me being left alone for many extra years :( Unlikely for me to ever take this route, at least right now anyways, but you never know what life brings you, so...

[Mab]

Other.

Depends on when the age gap is. 16-21 is a big diff b/c there is a lot of changing & growing that takes place between those years.

As for me, I'm 30. My soulmate is 8 years older than me. My ex's gf is 10 years younger than him. Personally, I don't think I could go more than 10 years older than me......except in the cases of Bono or Toby Keith. I'd make exceptions for them.

[soilsigh aingeal]

Personally, I don't think I could go more than 10 years older than me......except in the cases of Bono or Toby Keith. I'd make exceptions for them.Yeah, I feel the same way about certain people :lol:

[boerbabe]

hehe I think we all have a few of those people!

[Mouse]

I voted kinda because although i dont think the age gap matters within the relationship, socially (friends, family, workmates) it can do a lot of damage.

My partner is 25 years older than me, infact im younger than his daughter, and between us there is no problem with it that we have not been able to get past. It never felt wrong or gross or any of that and in time our families grew to accept us.

Then again, different strokes for different folks.

~miriam

[Whispers]

Age doesn't matter to me, my hubby is 7 years older than me, so there's not a big age gap there.

[Fang of Loki]

how much would be uncool for you? :)

Well, I'm 27. So, I imagine that the youngest I would go for would probably be 19 or 20. Maybe, even older than that.

But it depends on the person and their level of maturity too.

[Know Your Rights]

I say no... it doesn't matter. Simply if the two people involved care about eachother, than I don't see the problem. If, say, it's a teenage guy and teenage girl, so long as their both mature... though I would say, be careful for the legality of everything.

[charmedkisses1]

It really depends... I think a 8 year window is fine... but, if I was so 50 I wouldn't date a 35 year old (or vice versa) :lol:
But I'm almost 17 and I prefer at least a few years older or one year younger (it's weird, I can't stand guys my own age lmao... maybe I just havben't met the right one)

[Valkie]

I voted no... but now I'm realizing that it's really a kinda.

I don't think that it's ok for a teenager to date someone who is more than a few years older, just because there are so many mental changes that happen during that period of time. Those years can make a huge difference. Friendships are fine...

I know that I've always gravitated toward people who were older than me... Hubby is only about 1 1/2 years older than me. Of the 3 people I consider my best friends: one is a few months older than me, one is 7 years older than me, and the last is almost 17 years older than me. I don't think about the age, all I know is if I can trust them and are comfortable with them. You can't put an age limit on that.

[Shanti]

As long as its legal, age doesnt matter anymore than color, or religious beliefs or anything that makes us differant from one another.
When it comes to love, I feel that love doesnt discriminate, people do. :)

[Niamh celtic mist]

I believe it is up to the couple...If it works for them ...great. As long as they are both of legal age..its their business. My hubby is 6 years older than me and thats not a problem... :broomride

[wakywitch]

I voted kind of.
Had a relationship with a man last year who was 9 yrs younger than myself.
I am 39.
:ggrief: He was immature alot of the time.

I know 25 yr olds who are alot more mature than he was.
Guess it would depend on the person.

[Antoninus]

Its not the age that matters, but the maturity level

Ive met 40 year old guys that had the maturity level of a 14 year old. And Ive met 16 year old girls that had the maturity level of a 50 year old woman.

Age doesnt mean squat. Its how mature you are.

[Bainidhe Dub]

Age means nothing to me, unless we're getting into .. me being older. *wrinkles nose* It is a rare thing when I find someone my own age (24) or younger that is mature and is not dedicated to goofing off, drinking 24/7, doing drugs or what have you. Males my age aren't even sure most of the time what the hell they want.

Dating someone older than me is nothing. 8 years, 10 years, 18 years.. none of it bothers me. The bond I can have with someone older is stronger, I feel, because there IS more in common. I'm able to discuss music, art, books, every day life.. talk about problems, whatever.. and they have the maturity and patience in that.. if I'm flustered, unsure of myself, they let me work over things, give me room, they let me explain in discussions/debates, without flying off the handle and starting an argument, simply because they failed to listen (as most younger men that I know have done).

I'm not saying younger men aren't mature. I know several offhand, here at MW, that are extremely mature for their ages. *shrugs* I suppose it's just all in how you look at relationships and what you want from them.