Don't know how to get peace

[Lady Ismenia]

He embarrassess me in public, he is mean and then super nice, he stays out till 2am or moe , he turns off his cell phone, he comes home dead drunk, he flirts with everyone he sees whether I am with him or not , he does not love me, I don't even think he loves our daughter , he just needs a place to live, and money, I bought a car Jan 31 2005 he wrecked it and we only had liability and he was at fault , now I have no car and the money is a loss, since I was 14 years old he has been in my life off and on and all we did was (well you know) and he never bought me anything took me anywhere, why can't I let him go , why can't I go back to being by myself, yes it was kinda miserable , but he makes me more miserable, I am beating myself up over this and my health is declining , I am at my wits end , I don't know what to do and i don't feel i have the strength to do what i need to do please help me :bangyourh

[Faeawyn]

I'm so sorry. It sounds like you're just very scared right now. Scared of what would happen if you left him...scared of how you'll feel if you're alone. Fear is a powerful thing. It can also be a powerful tool to control someone. What kind of father is he? I'm assuming not so great considering what you've said so far :(

[Lady Ismenia]

I'm so sorry. It sounds like you're just very scared right now. Scared of what would happen if you left him...scared of how you'll feel if you're alone. Fear is a powerful thing. It can also be a powerful tool to control someone. What kind of father is he? I'm assuming not so great considering what you've said so far :(


He is supportive and stern but if we broke up he would leave and not look back

[KaliGiri5]

you are putting him as being more important than yourself
or loving him more than you love yourself.
been there..
you need to cut him out and don't look back.
if you stay..it's only a matter of time before you have to let go anyways.
it will effect your physical & mental health to hold on to him.
you'll end up resenting him in the end and go through a phase where you analyze yourself over & over as to why he couldn't love you the way you thought he should.
another will come and will be better to/for you..
how a woman messes up is when the other comes..she still hold on to the negative guy
I guess in hope that he will come around and change his ways.
the good one is often over looked while we daydream over the old one.
all I can say is...another man can love you the way you want
don't go looking for his twin either..a man who looks or acts like him or reminds you of him..
that is a pattern and you need to be able to see that to avoid it.
imagine if this was your daughter's relationship..you see her man treating her like this..
what would you want for her?..what would you tell her to do?

right now i'm in a totally different situation that I have to get myself out of.
the other was the father of my daughter and was always out in the streets..clubs
and anywhere that had women.
he loved to party..and I was always with him until I got pregnant..
the one I have now is never in the streets..always at home with me
he doesn't chase women(which I thought was impossible for a man)
BUT..
he's abusive
:fpoke:
so I have to remove myself from him.
I left once already but it didn't work out and I had to return..
he's so full of himself that he assumes i'll never leave..
I waited 8 years for him to change...
he changed from physical to mental abuse and his words cut through me more than any physical object he could use.
he broke my spirit to tell the truth.
they never change.

[QUEEN OF THE DAMNED]

hold on...mood swings like that and alcohol in the mix whoa...get outta there. I think you are wasting your time. Sorry to be so blunt, but from what you have mentioned there are too many bad signs. Have you done an abusive relationship quiz? (it doesn't have to be physically abusive to be bad for you) :hugz:

[Lady Ismenia]

Thank you so much I am making arrangements now to get out of this now I am getting out before it really goes sour.

[malice]

im sorry that you are going through a lot of shit right now. you sound like you really dont deserve the stuff he does to you. the only advice i have for you is try to phase him out of your life, but i know that's stupid advice, because something like that is probably easier said than done. i hope things get better, because i know what its like to put up with a guy like that.

[ObsidianSunrise]

Energies on the way!