A question for parents

[pawnman]

I'm a father-to-be. I'm very excited, but also a little worried. I don't have much experience with kids, especially babies. I'm an uncle, but those kids live something like 2000 miles away (I'm in Ohio, they're in Colorado). I only see them once a year or so.

So, here's the question:
What do you wish you had known when you first became a parent? What are the things no one told you, and you had to figure out on your own? What did other people tell you that turned out wrong? What did other people tell you that turned out right? What would you tell someone getting ready to be a father (or mother, for that matter)?

[Shanti]

Ok heres my take on the reality side for me anyhow,
Children are more work than anything else. Your no longer a 'you and I', you are an us. The child comes first because his/her needs are greater as they are dependant on the parents for literally everything. You get the flu, you cant lay in bed and drink plenty of liquids. The baby needs diapers changed and feedings and attention. You dont get time off from parenting. You dont get a pat on the back either. Children push our limits, tax our nerves and need us more than anyone ever will. Its hard, stressful, demanding work. Its not the joyful, 'a baby will bring you closer together', kinda thing. Its pure responsibility 24/7. Its exhausting too.

But, watching them grow, seeing them change and become little people, then grow to an adult, knowing you were there for them, makes it all worth while.
The feeling of holding your child in your arms makes it worth it.
Knowing that they love you, makes it worth it.
Loving them, makes it worth it.
Just having the honor to know them, makes it worth it.

Its all wonderful because its all done for love. :)

[Shanti]

Oh and congrats!!!! :)

[VelvetBlade]

My advice...take all the advice you get, and throw it out the window..lol. Every child is different, every parent is different and the greatest gift you can give to your child and yourself is to learn what works for you...and use it!!

~AW ( mother of 4 )

[Temptation]

What I have learned is that the best thing is to listen to everyone's advice and go with what your gut tells you to do. Trust your instinct no matter what all the "helpful" people tell you is best.
Don't worry, you're gonna be just fine.
Oh, and the only thing people told me that turned out to be right on target was the old "You're life will NEVER be the same again." :lol:

[Temptation]

Silly me forgot to congratulate you!

So, congratulations Pawnman :abanana:

[pawnman]

Thanks for the input folks.

So, no one has quick tips like:
"X gets baby vomit out of clothes"
"You can tell the bottle is warm enough when..."
"Brand y is the best diaper/baby lotion/pacifier"

I do appreciate the input. Perhaps I should have been more clear in my question. See, I've never been a parent. So I don't know the difference between Huggies and Luvs, between the store brand and Gerber, what temperature a bottle should be (or even the best way to warm it...can you put them in the microwave, or do you always need to boil them?)

With that in mind, any other advice? Anything you wish someone had told you before you brought your first kid home?

[Shanti]

Pawnman, when it comes to products, your best to try differant stuff and find your own favorites!! Heck I like Huggies, my DIL likes Luvs and my SO likes Pampers!!!!
My kid liked a rubber binky, my grandson a nylon binky and my youngest daughter never took a binky!!!
Heck even when it comes to burping a baby its all differant. Some are over the shoulder burpers, some sit and burp, some only burp when they want to . LOL

:)

[Temptation]

Ok, so you wanted practical advice.

Pampers was always the best brand for me. I tried others but none were as good as Pampers.

Using a microwave is not recommended to warm bottles because it doesn't warm the milk evenly. Best to use one of those bottle-warmer thingies.

Breast-feeding is the best thing for your baby (althought that's not something you have to worry about ;) )

When you bring baby home from the hospital make sure you have lots of diapers and lots of little baby wipes. Also lots of clothes like jammies and baby vests and baby socks. You'll go through those faster than you can wash them. :lol:

I don't know what else to tell you, it's been a while since I've had a baby in the house.
I'll post more later if I think about other stuff.

[zehava]

congrats!!! :D

-bottles: i never had a microwave or a fancy-shmancy bottle warmer with my first, so i just boiled a pot of water and stood the bottle (top off) in the hot water (AFTER i took it off the stove)... checked the temp by dropping a bit on the inside of my wrist every few moments. the right temp was when it felt just slightly warm on my wrist. if you plan to bottle feed for whatever reason, try to keep extra ready-to-go bottles in the fridge at all times. lol.

-diapers... buy the smallest bags at first and find out what works for you and baby.

-wipes, i personally found the unscented to be the best (less chance of rash with my kids), but again, experiment.

-clothing... i was a big fan of onesies... just one article of clothing to struggle getting on a squirmy baby. lol.

other advice... FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS. forget what the books say, forget what your mom says, forget what we here say... you'll be the parent and your instincts will usually be right about your child... you'll know that baby better than anyone, don't let them tell you otherwise :D it's nice to have a sounding board, it's nice to get ideas and advice, but if they don't jive with your guy instinct, don't listen ;)

-z

[Loralienn]

Here is some practical advice from what worked for me. :)

In the first few months, I learned quick to follow my mom's advice: Nap when they nap! Don't stress about not having time to vaccuum or clean the bathroom, get some sleep. Once the baby starts sleeping through the night you will have more time and energy. I also freezed a bunch of casserole-type meals before I had her, so on a rough day I could pop one in the oven and not worry about food.

For me, a baby swing was a blessing. I would highly recommend one if you have the room for it. I could put my daughter in it for 15 minutes while I started some laundry or heated up bottles, whatever -- and she would be perfectly content. I had one that ran on batteries and got 2 sets of rechargables so I never ran out of juice when I needed it.

I also got a lot of practical use out of a baby carrier / carseat combo (where you can snap the infant seat into the car without having to rebuckle it every time, or unstrap the child to carry it in). That way, when she fell asleep in the car, I could carry her into the house without waking her. Just make sure that the base is correctly fastened and the seat snaps fully into the base every time or it can be dangerous. She also loved taking naps in the infant carrier part of the seat -- it was smaller than her cradle and she liked the snug feeling and slight recline.
Hope some of that helps :)

[Darakash]

What would you tell someone getting ready to be a father (or mother, for that matter)?

I had zilch experience with babies myself, when I had my daughter, I was a youngest child and like you, lived pretty far away from all my neices and nephews...but:

1. You will not "break" the child! I remember being a bit overly anxious abbout that!

2. In terms of dressing and comfort, think of your child as a mini-you....if you are warm enough in a short sleeve shirt and shorts, so will the kid be...I say this because, I have seen sooo many parents either bundle up their kid like nanook of the north in 70 degree weather while they are in shorts, or the opposite, and that doesn't work too well!

3. If mom is willing, breast feed for a minimum of 6weeks/two months; but in terms of forumula, I would say that Similac is the best, unless the doc recommends something else.

4. Bottles: I found the kind with thte plastic inserts best in terms of no-air and also convenience, cleanliness, etc.

5. My daughter was an early talker, and I honestly think one of the reasons was that when she was awake I was constantly talking to her and singing to her, etc. It is great, cause, when you talk to yourself, people think your are crazy, but you can carry on a conversation with your infant, and nobody looks twice! HEE HEE...

6. Probably most important thing I learned was that while their are guidelines for "milestones" (rolling over, pulling up, starting solids, getting teeth, yada yada) each kid has their own time schedule and will do things when they are ready....if some physical milestone seems months behind, it MIGHT be worth asking your pediatrician, but generally, kids will do things when they are ready, so enjoy!

Congratulations! It is work, but sooooooo much fun!
Dk

[Faeawyn]

1. You can't have enough burp rags. I used cloth diapers for burp rags, but now they actually have terry ones. You'll go thru at least 6 of these a day. Every time baby eats, he/she will most likely spit up and you'll be wiping up baby gunk all day long. Always have one on your shoulder when you burp them...milk comes up and over :lol:

2. Absolutely yes on the swing. It's a parents best friend.

3. I'm a huge advocate of pacifiers. I had one in the car, 2 in the diaper bag, one in my purse, in the crib....you can't have too many. It can calm a fussy baby when nothing else can. Some babies are hesitant to take one..believe it or not...just hold it in the babies mouth until they get the hang of sucking and holding on.

4. I had no problems microwaving bottles. You just have to do it with the top off....then shake the bottle every 15 seconds or so to redistribute the milk. I used to test on my wrist for the right temp. You'll feel it when it's too cold or hot...but you'll feel nothing when it's just right (body temp). HOwever, my best friend just had a baby and the doc told her she didn't need to heat the bottles...so she just gave her baby the bottle room temp and never had any problems. :whatgives: Never heard of that, but apparently, it's the new thing.

5. Believe it or not....you'll actually learn your babies cries. It will be frustrating at first, but you'll get the hang of things :)

6. Make sure they teach you how to properly swaddle a baby at the hospital. Swaddling is wonderful for calming a new born.

Congrats again :)

[MorningDove030202]

My husband says:

Fatherhood is the hardes most dificult job that you will ever love, and the first time your child tells you that he or she loves you will make it all worth it. Also, even if you wife says she doesn't need any help, help her anyway.

My thoughts:

Sleep deprevation....I wiish someone had realy warned me how bad the sleep deprevation gets. Also, if your wife (?) plans to brestfeed rent or buy a good quality pump so that she can get a brake and have some no baby time at least once a week for a hour or two. I think the other thing that's been hard on us is the lack of grandparents and family near by to babysit. I saw a listing of 2004's best movies and I realized I had nto seen any of them! So, make sure you have close friends or family that can babysit so you and the wife can get out by yourselves. And I'll paraphrase Dr Phill: The best thing you can do for your kids is to take care of your relationship with your spouse.

As far as parenting goes, every family is differnt, you might have your heart set on a certian kind of parenting, and it doesn't work for you or your child, don't feel guilty about it, try something else.

Dove

[Temptation]

HOwever, my best friend just had a baby and the doc told her she didn't need to heat the bottles...so she just gave her baby the bottle room temp and never had any problems. :whatgives: Never heard of that, but apparently, it's the new thing.



Yup. My sister did that with both her children and they didn't mind at all. :)

[Gwenhwyfar]

Baby swing was a life saver, and if your baby likes a soother make sure you keep lots of extras around...those things dissapear fast and theres nothing worse than running around like a chicken with your head cut off in search of one. I remember bottles with no plastic baggie inserts were a nightmare, and super nasty if lost and then found a few days later...yuck!..ummmmm, if you cant get the kid to stop crying theres a good chance he/she needs to burp. Id buy your wife a breast pump unless she's comfortable with breastfeeding in front of company (if shes breastfeeding), the ones that do all the sucking for you are the best in my opinion, the manual one I tried just sucked. (pardon the pun.) I watched a crapload of movies the first three months with my daughter, the first couple months were easy, all she did was eat, sleep and fill her diaper. Im sure youll do great Pawnman, congradulations! when in doubt I always called my mom.

oh, and if shes breastfeeding...get nipple cream!(cant remeber what its called, sorry).

[Gwenhwyfar]

1. You can't have enough burp rags. I used cloth diapers for burp rags, but now they actually have terry ones. You'll go thru at least 6 of these a day. Every time baby eats, he/she will most likely spit up and you'll be wiping up baby gunk all day long. Always have one on your shoulder when you burp them...milk comes up and over :lol:

2. Absolutely yes on the swing. It's a parents best friend.

3. I'm a huge advocate of pacifiers. I had one in the car, 2 in the diaper bag, one in my purse, in the crib....you can't have too many. It can calm a fussy baby when nothing else can. Some babies are hesitant to take one..believe it or not...just hold it in the babies mouth until they get the hang of sucking and holding on.

4. I had no problems microwaving bottles. You just have to do it with the top off....then shake the bottle every 15 seconds or so to redistribute the milk. I used to test on my wrist for the right temp. You'll feel it when it's too cold or hot...but you'll feel nothing when it's just right (body temp). HOwever, my best friend just had a baby and the doc told her she didn't need to heat the bottles...so she just gave her baby the bottle room temp and never had any problems. :whatgives: Never heard of that, but apparently, it's the new thing.

5. Believe it or not....you'll actually learn your babies cries. It will be frustrating at first, but you'll get the hang of things :)

6. Make sure they teach you how to properly swaddle a baby at the hospital. Swaddling is wonderful for calming a new born.

Congrats again :)
Once my daughter had a cool bottle she wouldnt take them warm ever again after that.

[Loralienn]

After I stopped breastfeeding, I also made formula with room temperature water -- daughter liked it just fine and it was WAY easier. I used the powder stuff and would just throw together as much as she would eat. She was very good with eating though, never had much of a gas or spit up problem. And I second the plastic-insert suggestion! I saved so much time from cleaning formula out of corners of the regular kind.

One other thing I have heard, my sis in law's baby had major gas problems. When she started transitioning to a couple forumla feedings a day, her ped. suggested a drop or two of the baby liquid gas stuff mixed into each bottle. I guess it cuts down on the air added from shaking it up.

[Aleigh]

Congratulations!!!
However, my best friend just had a baby and the doc told her she didn't need to heat the bottles...so she just gave her baby the bottle room temp and never had any problems. :whatgives: Never heard of that, but apparently, it's the new thing.

Yeah, both of my boys would rather have the bottle cold (right out of the fridge), than warmed up. Go figure. I bought one of those little bottle warmer thingies and never got to use it. :p It was weird, because my youngest was breast fed exclusively for 6 months and then when we started introducing formula he didn't want it warm. :confused:

As far as formula, I think different brands are better for different babies. Both of my kids did alright on Similac but would constantly spit up any other brand. My nephew does just fine on Enfamil and spits up Similac. My ped says it's different with each kid, as long as it has the recommended ingredients they're all fine.

We used cloth diapers for burp clothes and our rule was to try to keep at least two in every room, because one would always get carried off by accident. You can NOT have too many of those things around the house. :lol:

We tried a bunch of different diapers and found that Pampers worked best for our kids. But my nephew has really fat legs, and Huggies work better on him. It think they're shaped a little different and different brands fit different body shapes. :whatgives


I never found any brand of wipes I really liked. They all either gave our kids rashes or dried out 5 minutes after you opened the package. We make our own now with paper towels, baby wash, baby oil, and water. We cut the roll in half, then each half in a tupperware container (size 6 or 9, not sure which , but it's obvious when you look at the different sizes) then pour a cup and a half of hot water (you let them cool down before you use them) with 1tbsp of oil and 1tbsp baby wash mixed in over the paper towels. Once the cardboard core gets wet you can pull it right out and then pull the towels out from the middle of the roll. They work great. Which reminds me...baby oil apparently serves no useful purpose other than for making baby wipes. I have never needed it for anything else. LOL

Oh, and you can never have enough onesies. I got to the point where if it didn't have a snap crotch, my kids weren't wearing it. LOL They're awesome.

[Gwenhwyfar]

I remebered something els about wipes...some have nice little patterns on them, teddy bears and such, dont fall for it! the patterns are actually teeny tiny holes in the fabric of the wipe and when you use them all the "stuff"" comes right through the holes...its just wrong. lol.

[Deranged Hermit]

Congrats! I don't have any advice about products, it's been awhile since mine were babies. The one thing I wanted to say was, when it comes to when to wean and potty train, don't listen to anyone else, including the doctor. You and your child will know when the time is right for these things.

[Valkie]

mmm... advice huh? Disclaimer: these are all things that were true with all 3 of mine... but kids are different so it may not be so with yours.

1. Start stocking up on diapers. No one ever tells you that the baby will go through more diapers the first month than you can imagine! What would last you month when he's older, might last a week that first month.
2. I could always tell if the bottle was warm enough if it was the same temp as the skin on my wrist. If the formula is too cold, you'll know because the baby will keep spitting it up.
3. Best burping position: sitting straight up with one hand supporting the front of the chest and head, leaning slightly forward, and patting the back.
4. on the subject of burping: if you bounce the baby on your knee, you can usually hear her stomache knocking if she has gas (good way to test if there is serious screaming and you can't figure out if its because of gas.
5. any diaper rash cream with zinc usually works good for regular rashes. After learning with my first, I also kept a tube of Myclex handy for the occational yeast infection.
6. Plan on someone bunking with baby for the first couple of months. It makes night time feedings much easier.
7. cloth diapers make great burp clothes.
8. all formula have to follow the FDA's regulations for infant formula. There is a bit of a difference between brands (expecially between regular formula and the once that have the DHA and RHA added), but not enough to make a difference in how you child developes if you choose not to beastfeed. Don't feel guilty if you choose the $8 generic formula over the $20 name brand that they used in the hospital.

[MorningDove030202]

Better yet, use cloth diapers, I loved my Fuzzi Bunz and I bought most of them used at ebay or new but seconds ..

Dove

[butterflydreams]

I think the best advice anyone gave me was "sleep when the baby sleeps. I'm sure someone else said it but it's so true!

Different babies do well with different kinds of formulas. I had to try many different brands including the really expensive stuff and the thing that ended up working the best for my daughter was Good Start. It has some kind of proteins that is supposed to make it easier to digest. worked for me.

I loved the baby swing! My baby was colicky and the only time I could really get a chance to do anything for ever a quick half hour was when I was able to put her in her swing and let her watch a Baby Einstein movie. I don't advocate putting a baby in front of the tv all the time but for a quick half hour those movies are awesome. Baby Einstein was the only kind of movie she would watch. the music on them really calmed her.

If your baby ends up being tall and skinny, huggies ultra trim or baby shape is a really good brand. Basically you just need to find different brands that work well and fit your baby's shape. Unfortunately the Walmart brands always leaked for me.

If, I mean when you get stressed out with the baby, ask your wife to take over and vice versa or take a step outside (where you can still see the baby or make sure that he/she is in a safe place and go take some deep breaths and calm down.

Follow your instincts. I'm sure you'll do what's right. Congrats again!

[Faery-Wings]

Wow, I can't think of anything else.
Basically, it comes down to try a bunch of different stuff and see what works best for you both.

And remember, once you have it all figured out, they will change it on you!

Congrats!!
You are such a sweet and excited dad to be. :)

[morrigan]

I'm a father-to-be. I'm very excited, but also a little worried. I don't have much experience with kids, especially babies. I'm an uncle, but those kids live something like 2000 miles away (I'm in Ohio, they're in Colorado). I only see them once a year or so.

So, here's the question:
What do you wish you had known when you first became a parent? What are the things no one told you, and you had to figure out on your own? What did other people tell you that turned out wrong? What did other people tell you that turned out right? What would you tell someone getting ready to be a father (or mother, for that matter)?


i have 3 children ( 9, 7 and 3 weeks) what i have found is this..
1) sleep whenever you can as sleep deprivation sucks big time.. dont feel bad if you need to take a nap during the day while the baby sleeps..
2) dont worry if you dont get all the house work done everyday do what you can the rest will wait....
3) enjoy everything parenthood brings, embrace the experience (including it sleepless nights and dirty diapers) babies grow up so quickly if you blink you'll miss it
4) take lots of pics
5) most important chamomile tea works wonders for colic.. (babies hate the taste and may protest at first but it doesnt take them long to realise it makes them feel better and calms them down.. it works like magick)
congrats to you and mrs pawnman..
Blessed Be ~Morrigan~

[Sleet]

Here's what I wished I knew:

- While adivce from mothers-in-law and doctors is great, trust your instincts. They're usually right.

- The best brand of diapers will be mostly determined by the shape of your baby's butt. No joke. Our kids wore papmers, but our friends' kid couldn't wear them because he had no roundness to his backside, and they just kept sliding off. Huggies worked a lot better for them. It was hilarious for us to figure this out - "Why don't these diapers stay on?" "It's because your kid has no ass to speak of, bud."

- Sleep dep sucks, but is largely unavoidable. Severe sleep dep is downright dangerous. It's not funny, it's not a rite of passage; it's dangerous. Find ways to minimize it.

- Having said that, you'll eventually be desperate for some grown up time if you sleep every time the kid sleeps. Don't feel guilty taking 30 minutes to play a video game or some other diversion instead of sleeping once in a while when the kid's zonked.

- Heat a bottle (whether expressed breast milk or formula) by floating the prepared bottle in a coffee mug of hot water for a couple of minutes.

- Remember that the mom is still your S.O., not just the mother of your child. Find ways to remind yourselves of that. (Hopefully this is applicable. Apologies if not.)

- The housework will go to hell. Expect it, embrace it, tell judgmental in-laws and acquaintences that if they don't like it, they can come over and mop the floor their own darn selves.

- Do NOT feel guilty if you don't bond with the child immediately. Many people say "It's a lot of work, but one coo from teh baby and it's all worth it!" For some that's true, for others it's a crock, and it can make you feel guilty and horrible if it isn't. This little bundle of something just caused an absolute detonation in your life, and it takes some getting used to. I say this from experience. Hang in there - the heart-melting will happen, even if it takes a few months, or longer.

[Faery-Wings]

The best brand of diapers will be mostly determined by the shape of your baby's butt. No joke Too true. *nods* People who don't have kids usually laugh whenthey hear it, but yup.
The housework will go to hell. Expect it, embrace it, tell judgmental in-laws and acquaintences that if they don't like it, they can come over and mop the floor their own darn selves.


A poem that was sent to me after #1 was born- words to really llive by. And when #2 came- no problems! The same house cleaning standards had fallen by the wayside a long time before. :D
Babies Don't Keep

Cleaning and scrubbing
Can wait till tomorrow,

For babies grow up
We've learned to our sorrow.

So quiet down cobwebs,
Dust go to sleep,

I'm rocking my baby,
And babies don't keep.

Heat a bottle (whether expressed breast milk or formula) by floating the prepared bottle in a coffee mug of hot water for a couple of minutes.

And on the road, bring a thermos of hot water. Plop the cold bottle in the thermos and voila! No having to search for a restaurant willing to give you a cup of hot water.

[LacyRoze]

Patience, patience, patience....
So the dishes didn't get washed,, big deal.
So the beds didn't get made,,big deal.
So the house looks like a tornado hit it,,who gives a flying fig.
You have a wonderful new life in your hands, enjoy every second of it!!!

Don't be afraid to say no when someone calls wanting to see the new bundle of joy. If the baby or you are napping, it's just not a good time for visitors. Don't cater to others schedules. You decide when is best to have company.

The proud grandparents are there when the bundle of joy arrives home. Of couse the grandmothers think they know the best way to do everything for the baby. Let them have their fun while they're there. You can always go to your way once they leave. This deters alot of stress...

Most important.....have fun with your new angel. Every moment is precious so go ahead and sing and talk to the baby. Get to know every inch of the wee one. Make a pallet in the livingroom floor and have the whole family on it with the baby, just laying there together feeling the warmth and love and happiness that being a family brings......:hearthear

[Valnorran]

What would you tell someone getting ready to be a father (or mother, for that matter)?
Everything Bill Cosby said about kids and parenting is absolutely true.

[DragonsChest]

Uh, let's see. Off the top of my head.

1) Onsies are your best friend, and also the footed sleepers.

2) Swings are best when you don't have to hand crank them to keep them going. Get an electric one if you can.

3) Pacifiers are great. Have them everywhere, and if they fall on the floor, you don't really have to sanitize them. A little dirt won't hurt. The little clip thingies to keep them from dropping on the floor are cool.

4) Lots of diapers. Lots. By the way, lots.

5) When our son was fussy at night, sometimes we would swaddle him, and start a washload of towels, place a blanket on top of the running washing machine and put the baby on top of that. Sit in a chair in front of the washer so the baby can't roll off, and put your head down on a small pillow. The motion of the washer and the warmth it emitted, rocked our son to sleep every time. And we always had clean towels. I didn't mind sleeping in a chair -- because I was SLEEPING! :sleepy:

6) Allow the munchkin to go diaperless as much as possible. The fresh air helps to keep down diaper rash.

7) Let your dogs lick the baby. Their germs won't kill him, and the kid loves it. At least, both of mine did. We've got pictures of them with Zwiebak biscuit all over their faces, with a dog on either side doing the clean up. And the kids are laughing! My MIL nearly died. Another perk.

8) Enjoy your baby. They are gifts. :hearteyes

[soilsigh aingeal]

1. skip the newborn size diapers, ok, maybe 1-2 packs but babies grow so fast you might end up wasting them if you have too many. And if you have a big baby, chances are you won't even use them.

2. if you're going to use bottles, instead of going straight for one kind of bottle and stocking up, buy 2-3 each of a few different kinds (different nipples too). Some babies won't take some nipples. My daughter took any kind, when my son was born, he wouldn't take the ones I had bought for him.

3. I agree with taking a lot of "advice" and throwing it out the window as all babies are different and you'll have to hang in there. Don't get frustrated if someone tells you somehting will work and it doesn't. A lot of it will be trial and error.

4. As for different products, like diaper rash stuff, lotions, etc. For diaper rash cream, I swear by some stuff called "Butt Paste" I forget who makes it, it's a little pricey but it works better than anything else for my kids. I would suggest, instead of stocking up on one particular brand, buy a bunch of sample packs, see which one works best. Some babies are allergic to different ingredients. Same thing goes for diapers. My daughter got a rash from store brand diapers. People thought I was being stuck up but she REALLY got a rash from it, she's got extremely sensitive skin and will break out from a number of things. With her, I ended up using regular Dove soap for sensitive skin.

5. Practice singing and dancing at 3 am.

[FlyingBear]

Let's see here... our daughter is 13 months old. What can I suggest?

I'm still breastfeeding, and it's done wonders for her. I'm a tremdous advocate of breast feeding so check out these links...

http://www.kellymom.com/index.html

http://www.lalecheleague.org/home_intro.html

Also, your gf's body is going to be different after pregnancy and it might take a while for the hormones to even out. Don't expect that your sex life will go back to normal for at least a year. It's surprising how something so teeny can wear you out.

Get up at night and do you part of the baby handling. Even if it's 3 am and you have work the next day, get up and change that diaper!

Sleep when the baby sleeps! Seriously! I never thought I'd miss it as much as I do.

Corn starch makes an excellent baby powder. It's very gentle on that newborn skin and costs next to nothing.

Read these links as well....

http://www.drjaygordon.com/

http://www.askdrsears.com/default.asp

http://babyzone.com/

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/


Good luck!

[Sleet]

Oh, one more thing. If you can afford it, TiVo or a subscription to NetFlix. For the first six months to a year, when you're up with the kid for all hours of the night, having something to watch on TV is a good idea.

[soilsigh aingeal]

oh yeah, there's no such thing as normal after you have a baby.

[DragonsChest]

Another thing: get a comfortable recliner chair if you don't have one. There are nights where you and the wee one can fall asleep better and deeper using a recliner. My hubby, Vetteman, used to plonk the kiddo on his chest and gently pat the diapered bottom, til they both fell asleep. The warmth of his body and the sound of his heartbeat really calmed them. :abored:

I used to worry that Vetteman would relax and let the baby roll off or slip, but that never happened, and after watching him a time or two, Vetteman may have been asleep, but he was never "off duty" -- whenever the child moved, VM arms were immediately up and around the baby, and his eyes never opened!

[LacyRoze]

Another thing: get a comfortable recliner chair if you don't have one. There are nights where you and the wee one can fall asleep better and deeper using a recliner. My hubby, Vetteman, used to plonk the kiddo on his chest and gently pat the diapered bottom, til they both fell asleep. The warmth of his body and the sound of his heartbeat really calmed them. :abored:

I used to worry that Vetteman would relax and let the baby roll off or slip, but that never happened, and after watching him a time or two, Vetteman may have been asleep, but he was never "off duty" -- whenever the child moved, VM arms were immediately up and around the baby, and his eyes never opened!
I second this . We did this with all 3 of our children. Even now when my toddler is sick, the recliner is the only place I can get her to sleep and it beats being up all night...:clapping:

[FlyingBear]

There's an awesome chair out there called the Glider and they are sooooo comfy! Had I known at the time, I would have gotten one for DD and I immediately! I back the comfy chair notion, cause there will be nights when the wee bairn will only sleep cuddled up next to you. Saves for sleeping upright, which I've been doing for a while now.

[LightDancer]

I nursed my kids and they refused the bottle, so I can't give any advice in that area.

-It's always fun to dress up babies in cute outfits, but be warned they won't stay clean. Newborn poop shoots out like a cannon, and at that velocity when it hits the diaper it's pushed right up their back (or front), very messy, that and the spit up. Carry an extra sleeper when your out, just in case things get really messy. This stuff usually comes out in a cold water wash

-if your wife is nursing, buy Lanoline. Cracked nipples are not fun

-swings are good! get one

-if your not sure how much clothes you should put on when going outside, look at what your comfortable wearing outside, and add an extra layer for the baby, like a onsie. You can tell if they are to hot by feeling the back of the neck.

-newborns are not crazy about baths. expect a fuss the first few times you bathe the baby.who knows you may end up with a water baby;)

-you can tell if a baby is sick by the colour of it's snot. If it's clear, just a runny nose, if it's green or yellow they are sick, gross but useful.

-don't go crazy with the Lysol, it builds up the immune system if everything (excepting of bottles) isn't sanitized like crazy

-don't buy really expensive baby clothes, they don't wear them for long enough to make the expense worth it


That's all I can think of. CONGRATS!!

Jamie

[LightDancer]

There's an awesome chair out there called the Glider and they are sooooo comfy! Had I known at the time, I would have gotten one for DD and I immediately! I back the comfy chair notion, cause there will be nights when the wee bairn will only sleep cuddled up next to you. Saves for sleeping upright, which I've been doing for a while now.

I have the most comfortable gliding rocker, it was a life saver when the kids were babies. It is now 5 years old and breaking :wah2:

Jamie

[lynn271]

Don't freak if the kid's stats don't fall within the "normal" range on *THE CHART* at the doctors office if the kid is obviously healthy. For example, I was told the baby would triple her weight in the first year. No, it took almost three years, but she was and is the healthiest kid I've ever heard of.

If the swing doesn't work and you're desperate to get some sleep, try taking the kid for a quick drive in the car. Sometimes they'll zonk out before you even get out of the driveway.

I second making sure there's something on TV to watch during late night feedings.

[~*Ginger*~]

Chamomile is good.

[VelvetBlade]

I always used a microwave to warm bottles. Just make sure you shake it real good and try a few drops on your wrist. It should be warm, but not hot.
I always loved pampers...they smell the best (before use, of course)
Swing...oh how I loved my swing!! Oh and carseat...get a good one and use it!
Babyfood..make your own. I only used the jar stuff when I was going out and had to have some with me. Just blend whatever you're having before you season it and add a little of the juice or broth. And you can freeze it in individual containers and take out what you need for the day the night before.

And remember...no matter how careful you are..the baby will eventually get diaper rash, and probably thrush too. And gas..and diarhhea, and constipation. None of it is an exact science.
And best of luck !! I almost miss those newborn days!!

~AW

[pawnman]

I always used a microwave to warm bottles. Just make sure you shake it real good and try a few drops on your wrist. It should be warm, but not hot.
I always loved pampers...they smell the best (before use, of course)
Swing...oh how I loved my swing!! Oh and carseat...get a good one and use it!
Babyfood..make your own. I only used the jar stuff when I was going out and had to have some with me. Just blend whatever you're having before you season it and add a little of the juice or broth. And you can freeze it in individual containers and take out what you need for the day the night before.

And remember...no matter how careful you are..the baby will eventually get diaper rash, and probably thrush too. And gas..and diarhhea, and constipation. None of it is an exact science.
And best of luck !! I almost miss those newborn days!!

~AW


Anyone know how to strap a car seat into the back of a pickup truck? I only have the little, fold-out "jump seats", not a full back seat.

[Wintersteel]

Anyone know how to strap a car seat into the back of a pickup truck? I only have the little, fold-out "jump seats", not a full back seat.


Umm I don't think that seat will work.. you may need to re-think your choice of vehicle.. I don't know what state your in.. but some have some fairly strict guidelines, for babyseats and restraints.. you could contact your local DMV for some guidelines..

As far as advice for a new parent:

1. When taking baby on outings, bring at least two -three changes of clothing.. You never know when they are going to soil a whole outfit, or two.. with spit-up, vomit. and other lovely baby messes..

2. Get a baby sling.. or a Snugli, looks like a baby backpack.. you can wear on your front or back.. My daughter loved this.. I could be close to herand still get my chores done.

3. For the breast feeding mom.. lots of nursing pads.. clothing that makes breastfeeding easy.. they have some great sleepwear, that have special snaps and support...

4. Don't be a germ freak, or worry about making noise when the baby is asleep.. Don't sanitize every surface in your home, or worry if you are sick around the baby, the baby has to build up an immunity to germs.. And don't have the house crypt silent when baby is sleeping.. you can't always have that kind of environment.. So don't let the baby become a light sleeper.. you'll never get any sleep, or housework done..

5. Also you could pick up this book, someone gave me a copy after my daughter was born..What to Expect the First Year, by by Heidi Murkoff, Sandee Hathaway, Arlene Eisnberg

6. Biggest piece of advice.. Don't stress.. you will be a natural.. instincts should kick in..

And hey if I can have a baby at 17years old and raise her to the age of 14 ,you will be just fine _happydanc

Congratulations again... hope to see some pics after the baby is born..

Love and Light!

Wintersteel

[Rhianna813]

Thanks for the input folks.

So, no one has quick tips like:
"X gets baby vomit out of clothes"
"You can tell the bottle is warm enough when..."
"Brand y is the best diaper/baby lotion/pacifier"

I do appreciate the input. Perhaps I should have been more clear in my question. See, I've never been a parent. So I don't know the difference between Huggies and Luvs, between the store brand and Gerber, what temperature a bottle should be (or even the best way to warm it...can you put them in the microwave, or do you always need to boil them?)

With that in mind, any other advice? Anything you wish someone had told you before you brought your first kid home?

Hi Pawnman,

I havn't read through the whole thread but I think I can offer a great book recommendation for a first time parent. The book is called Baby Bargains and it's like the consumer reports for the baby world! Chapter by chapter it covers everything from maternity clothes to diapers, car seats, strollers, high chairs, and more. It tells what types are out there, reviews them, and rates things for safety, user friendliness, and price. It tells what brands or items are total saftey hazards or total rips offs!

Once you are armed with this knowledge you can create a great Baby registry, go shopping, or better yet hit the garage sales! My copy of this book is highlighted, bookmarked, and worn because I used it so much.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/1889392146/qid=1108594587/sr=8-1/ref=pd_bbs_1/002-2082596-6743204?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

Congratualtions and blessings to your family!! :abanana:

Rhianna

[Rhianna813]

Anyone know how to strap a car seat into the back of a pickup truck? I only have the little, fold-out "jump seats", not a full back seat.

DH drives a pick up truck with our car seat. I am pretty confident that the type of fold out seats you are talking about can not be used legally with a car seat. Although it is not ideal to use car seats in the front of a car or truck it is legal ONLY if there is no airbag.

If there is no airbag (or the airbag can be turned off) you need to use the carseat rear facing. Rear facing only with an infant car sear and rear facing for as long as physically possible with a todler car seat. So the baby is facing the seat and not the front window. If you have seatbelts that cross over your chest the car seat will come with an adapter to adjust this. Yes, this all sucks when you only have 2 seats in the pick up but it's the only safe way to go.

Hope this helps!! I have been a first time for parent for 15 months now hehehehe I didn't know ONE thing before I started.

Rhianna

[Rhianna813]

Let's see here... our daughter is 13 months old. What can I suggest?

I'm still breastfeeding, and it's done wonders for her. I'm a tremdous advocate of breast feeding so check out these links...

http://www.kellymom.com/index.html

http://www.lalecheleague.org/home_intro.html

Also, your gf's body is going to be different after pregnancy and it might take a while for the hormones to even out. Don't expect that your sex life will go back to normal for at least a year. It's surprising how something so teeny can wear you out.

Get up at night and do you part of the baby handling. Even if it's 3 am and you have work the next day, get up and change that diaper!

Sleep when the baby sleeps! Seriously! I never thought I'd miss it as much as I do.

Corn starch makes an excellent baby powder. It's very gentle on that newborn skin and costs next to nothing.

Read these links as well....

http://www.drjaygordon.com/

http://www.askdrsears.com/default.asp

http://babyzone.com/

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/


Good luck!

HI again Pawnman! I agree with much of what Flyingbear wrote! So much of parenting is about following your instincts and just "being there" for your child and GF. I am into Attachment Parenting which seems like a newer style but advocates many older and globally used parenting methods. Not all aspects appeal to everyone but the philosophy is a good one and really promotes bonding with your baby. Check out the above links to read more and see if you and your GF are into it. If yes, this gives you a good place to start.

Books by Dr Sears are awesome! The Pregnancy Book which is a month by month guide is so much better than the What To Expect series. They also have The Birth Book, The Baby Book, and many others. I am now reading the The Discipline Book which gives a lot of advice for positive discipline.

Rhianna

[VelvetBlade]

Wintersteel mentioned not to worry about making noise when the baby is asleep. I used to purposely put the baby to bed in the living room during the day...with the tv on, phone ringing, kids playing etc. It helps them learn to sleep through noise and not to wake up at a pin drop. Great advice...

~AW

[pawnman]

Umm I don't think that seat will work.. you may need to re-think your choice of vehicle.. I don't know what state your in.. but some have some fairly strict guidelines, for babyseats and restraints.. you could contact your local DMV for some guidelines..


Man, would I love to rethink my choice of vehicle. We were going to buy a new one after I graduated from Officer Training School, but we're thinking we may have to wait a while now that we have a baby on the way. But at least it's not our only car, we also have a VW Beetle. What a joy it will be to arrange a car seat in those cramped conditions...

I guess that just means the wife will need to do the baby driving...she usually won't let me drive her car.