Major help re: Hekate

[Ishna]

Howdy ya'll,

It's been a while since I visited MysticWicks, but it is home to the largest group of Hekate worshippers I've come across so far, and I need some help. :(

Last time I was here I was going through quite an emotional upset and posted some prayers here at MysticWicks:

http://www.mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?t=64507

The first of those prayers was a call for help, and the last... well.

I am still no closer to a resolution. I've explored other parts of my spirituality, but She won't let me go, even though She is not as close to me She once was.

I am frightened that if I approach her again more animals will die. My greatest fear with regards to religion is of me causing something bad to happen (pathetic, I know), and it has held me back from doing almost anything spiritual, including meditation. The only thing I have ever done on my own as far as religion goes is worship Hekate, and I haven't done that in a long time. I want to, but I am so afraid.

At the same time as I fear Her immensly, I am still awed by Her, I am not repulsed. I don't feel that She is malicious, more that She is fed up with my indecision and my seven-year long procrastination.

It would be so much easier to just convert to something monotheistic. :(

Hoping for some help,
Ishna.

[Mithrea]

I'm not sure what you are asking for. What do you mean "more animals will die"?

I read your Altar thread. Do you think she is killing dogs to get your attention?

[Ishna]

Hi Holly,

Sorry if my post came off as being a little weird--these are difficult things to talk about!

I guess I'm just looking for a bit of support, a bit of reassurance that although times can get a bit dark with her (okay, quite dark) she's not all doom and gloom.

What I mean by "more animals will die" (gee that sounds bad, doesn't it? o.o) is that death is one of my greatest fears I guess... and it just seemed strange that when I attempted to get closer to her again that I seemed completely surrounded by death. I think I need to come to terms with death if she will have me... but to come to terms with it I guess I fear that she will show it to me again if I approach her.

I know that death is a part of life but I fear it no end. Moreso, I fear _causing_ it (and yet I'm not a vegetarian--figure that one out? :P).

Who knows, maybe it was all just a co-incidence.

Ishna.

[Athena-Nadine]

Hi Holly,

Sorry if my post came off as being a little weird--these are difficult things to talk about!

I guess I'm just looking for a bit of support, a bit of reassurance that although times can get a bit dark with her (okay, quite dark) she's not all doom and gloom.

What I mean by "more animals will die" (gee that sounds bad, doesn't it? o.o) is that death is one of my greatest fears I guess... and it just seemed strange that when I attempted to get closer to her again that I seemed completely surrounded by death. I think I need to come to terms with death if she will have me... but to come to terms with it I guess I fear that she will show it to me again if I approach her.

I know that death is a part of life but I fear it no end. Moreso, I fear _causing_ it (and yet I'm not a vegetarian--figure that one out? :P).

Who knows, maybe it was all just a co-incidence.

Ishna.
I don't think you need to come to terms with death so She will have you. I think She has come to you because you need to come to terms wth death. :) When it is time to confront our greatest fears, we often find ourselves surrounded by them. :hugz: Strength and courage to you.

[Ishna]

That's a good point, Athena-Nadine. :)

Ishna.

[Nepheria]

I am frightened that if I approach her again more animals will die. My greatest fear with regards to religion is of me causing something bad to happen (pathetic, I know), and it has held me back from doing almost anything spiritual, including meditation. The only thing I have ever done on my own as far as religion goes is worship Hekate, and I haven't done that in a long time. I want to, but I am so afraid.

At the same time as I fear Her immensly, I am still awed by Her, I am not repulsed. I don't feel that She is malicious, more that She is fed up with my indecision and my seven-year long procrastination.

It would be so much easier to just convert to something monotheistic.

1.) How could you convert to something monotheistic if you believe she's been making "bad" things happen in the first place? It's not possible, not if you already truly believe in her. (Unless, perhaps you were going to believe in her alone).

2.) Hecate is not all gloom and darkness. She's a wonderful Goddess, and she's helped me through the most depressing times of my life! Yes, she is a dark Goddess, and her nature is to teach you about your own fears, and how to overcome them. But she's not going to rock your world and start killing off any animals just to make a point.

My adorable Rat familiar died after 6-7 years of being with me. She lived longer than most rats, but got a tumor in the last year which ended her life. You want to know what I did when I saw her white blood covered body panting in the cage? I cried out to Hecate and Morrighan, and I asked them both to help her. Marilyn didn't die instantly, but I felt her pain slipping away. I would never blame her death on any Goddess--only that it was meant to happen, and it was her time to go. And yes, I cried when my rat died I loved her so much.

It really sounds like you are creating your own fear of the Goddess. It seems like there's too much distance between you and her--because you're afraid to get close. When what you need to do is get close to her. You need to know her, and overcome the self-created fear. Trust me, the closer you get to Hecate the better you will understand her nature, and understand whatever lessons it is that she is trying to teach you. :)

Well Wishes and Blessings,
Nepheria.

[Ishna]

Thanks Nepheria for your insight.

And to be honest with you, I haven't really decided on an outlook on the divine, ie. whether I'm a polytheist or a monotheist, etcetc. That sounds terrible... But I don't feel like I've made a committment to any particular path or view yet. When I say I could become a monotheist and that it would solve some problems... I could put my faith in one divine entity such as the Sikh view of the divine. As a result I wouldn't have to worry about Hekate.

But, that all said and done, I can't deny the experiences I've had with Hekate, and I am leaning in the direction of a kind of monolatry, I think. I am the ultimate fence-sitter. :P

And as for you second point, you make a good point. Another friend has told me: Are you so self-centered as to think the world revolves around you to that kind of degree? Although harsh, her intentions are good, and hey, it's true.

I've taken up someone else's idea of praying to Her at bed time and asking for some guidance in my dreams. We'll see what happens.

But I am feeling much better about my religion.

I am however very curious to find out what exactly Priestesses of Hekate do. :|

Bright blessings,
Ishna.

[Darakash]

hello,

I am not responding to any specific post here, but agree with many of the replies you have already received..especiallly with Nepheria and her assertions about the nature of Hekate/Hecate.

Hecate is not technically my matron, but I have interacted with her due to the fact that she is my husband's mom. I say "mom" on purpose. Yes, she is certainly not a goddess of sweetness and Light and such...but I have never felt such a mothering, loving presence as I do with her. To me, she comes as cold (literally) as in I feel cold and goosebumps/chills...which is wierd for me since my own matron is sekhmet (who is pure fire). Yet, she is clear and so much ever-present, that I envy my hubby and his relationship sometimes. She, to me, is the ultimate mother.

So long post a little shorter, I think that while you havent decided on how you view deity/divine, and that is totally understandable...you may actually be dealing more with what you feel internally when you are afraid and such about her, than actually reacting to her true nature...just my opinion of course...but I also think that the very fact that you question the nature of given deities would preclude a monotheisic approach...or even universal source of divinity on some levels...I am not saying this would be wrong or incorrect; just noting that sensing individual characteristics in given deities woudl be kinda odd with those choices....I wish you joy and love and luck on your search and journey.
Senebty, DK

[DandelionDame]

Ishna, I definitely relate to a lot of what you've said; confusion, hesitancy, and lots and lots of fear! A good thing to think on is this: what drew you to Hekate in the first place? How do you feel when you try to connect with her or contact her?

Hekate made herself very known to me this past Fall, much to my surprise (I had decided to pretty much give up on the whole personal-connecting-with-deity pursuit indefinitely and focus on what I could feel and see, like plant and stone medicine). It was exciting, but I took things slow, did my research ("Hekate in Ancient Greek Religion" by von Rudloff is a GREAT resource for scholarly, documented Hekate related stuff, really works the ol' critical thinking muscle!) and spent some time filtering out what did and didn't resonate with what I was learning from and about her. For me, the fear started to feel almost illogical, but it took a while!

She's not all sunshine and daisies and bunnies, BUT she's not all darkness, gloom and doom either (as many have said)! Historically, she actually had power and influence in Earth, Sea and Sky, not just the Underworld, so she's much more versatile and diverse than some give her credit for. Just something to think about! :)

I've found that setting aside some time to just quiet your mind and focus on Hekate, maybe light a candle and some incense, and just TALK to her, voicing all of your concerns, reservations, fears, hopes and desires can work wonders. I doubt she'd get mad if you confessed you're a little scared of her if you explain why. Then simply listen and see what happens. Be observant of any unusual things that happen for a while, positive or negative. She communicates differently with different people, so tune in a bit more to goings-on around you.

Hope this helps!



Thanks Nepheria for your insight.

And to be honest with you, I haven't really decided on an outlook on the divine, ie. whether I'm a polytheist or a monotheist, etcetc. That sounds terrible... But I don't feel like I've made a committment to any particular path or view yet. When I say I could become a monotheist and that it would solve some problems... I could put my faith in one divine entity such as the Sikh view of the divine. As a result I wouldn't have to worry about Hekate.

But, that all said and done, I can't deny the experiences I've had with Hekate, and I am leaning in the direction of a kind of monolatry, I think. I am the ultimate fence-sitter. :P

And as for you second point, you make a good point. Another friend has told me: Are you so self-centered as to think the world revolves around you to that kind of degree? Although harsh, her intentions are good, and hey, it's true.

I've taken up someone else's idea of praying to Her at bed time and asking for some guidance in my dreams. We'll see what happens.

But I am feeling much better about my religion.

I am however very curious to find out what exactly Priestesses of Hekate do. :|

Bright blessings,
Ishna.

[Ishna]

Well, not much has happened since I've been asking before I sleep for a sign.

Except last night I had a nightmare.

Perhaps my time with her has expired.

Ishna.

[BlackMagicalCat]

Howdy ya'll,

It's been a while since I visited MysticWicks, but it is home to the largest group of Hekate worshippers I've come across so far, and I need some help. :(

Last time I was here I was going through quite an emotional upset and posted some prayers here at MysticWicks:

http://www.mysticwicks.com/showthread.php?t=64507

The first of those prayers was a call for help, and the last... well.

I am still no closer to a resolution. I've explored other parts of my spirituality, but She won't let me go, even though She is not as close to me She once was.

I am frightened that if I approach her again more animals will die. My greatest fear with regards to religion is of me causing something bad to happen (pathetic, I know), and it has held me back from doing almost anything spiritual, including meditation. The only thing I have ever done on my own as far as religion goes is worship Hekate, and I haven't done that in a long time. I want to, but I am so afraid.

At the same time as I fear Her immensly, I am still awed by Her, I am not repulsed. I don't feel that She is malicious, more that She is fed up with my indecision and my seven-year long procrastination.

It would be so much easier to just convert to something monotheistic. :(

Hoping for some help,
Ishna.
HI,I dont know if this will help you or not and I must admit I dont know Hekate,the Goddess you worship,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,but remember this precious child,,,,,,,,,,,,,Love is stronger than death,the fire cannot quench it,and the floods cannot drown it,,,it is eternal and nothing is greater than love..God is love.My prayers are with you. :steppy: :steppy:

[BlackMagicalCat]

Well, not much has happened since I've been asking before I sleep for a sign.

Except last night I had a nightmare.

Perhaps my time with her has expired.

Ishna.
Hello again,I see your still troubled,this is just my opinion and maybe it will help,,,,,,,,Maybe your not cut out for the dark side of things,Fear doesnt come from God,in my personal opinion i wouldnt want to serve out of fear,but willingly out of love.There is a good fear and that would be more like respect,sorta like as a trck driver I fear the Hwy
Patrol,im not admitting i speed either,HA HA,but I respect them.They have authority over me and I recognize it.Thats a good fear.It keeps me out of trouble.The things that have always made me feel good are acts of kindness,mercy,compassion and love.To me these things are like light that repells darkness,When I die I will die with a heart filled with love for others and I trust that God will be merciful to me like I have been to others.,,,,Also when I have been confused or bummed out,I have found myself praying for others and being uplifted just by putting others first.Well you should know im a christian and I admit since joining mystic wicks Im going through some changes and I have a newfound respect for witches and pagans and I dont know why.I love everyone here a lot.They are my friends.,,,well gotta go and I dont have all the answers and I may not always be right,but remeber this,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,If you sow kindness,you will reap kindness,if you sow love,you will reap love,if you sow mercy,you will reap mercy,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,one of my favorite christian heroes is mother Theresa, the catholic woman who judged no one for there religion but spent herself feeding the hungry. im not sure i spelt her name right.,,,,,,,,,,,,And lastly if you see an angry judgemental bible thumping christian foaming at the mouth and condeming you,ignore them,you are a better person than them.I used to be one. :smile: love you.

[Ishna]

Hello again,I see your still troubled,this is just my opinion and maybe it will help,,,,,,,,Maybe your not cut out for the dark side of things,Fear doesnt come from God,in my personal opinion i wouldnt want to serve out of fear,but willingly out of love.There is a good fear and that would be more like respect,sorta like as a trck driver I fear the Hwy
Patrol,im not admitting i speed either,HA HA,but I respect them.They have authority over me and I recognize it.Thats a good fear.It keeps me out of trouble.

Interesting posts, Azzeenasman.

Fear is a human survival emotion, imho.

I wouldn't want to serve anyone or anything out of fear, either.

And as for your truck driver respecting the highway patrol, I can relate to that. What I am trying to do is ask Hekate if it's okay for me to ride on her highway. And at the moment I'm not sure she wants me to, but then it could all just be in my imagination, my fear.

Bright blessings,
Ishna.

[BlackMagicalCat]

yes ,fear is a servival emotion(your talking to an ex marine)but perfect love casts out fear,it has been my experience that when there is an evil spirit of some kind,there is an overwhelming feeling of fear that grips you thats dificult to shake,the enemy is agressive and the bible says the devil as a roaring lion walks about seeking whom he may devour,i,have experienced when i felt the presence of God an overwhelming love and peace,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,my peace I give unto you the Lord said,not as the world gives,the peace and love that flows from the heart of Christ to us is awsome and cannot be conquered,it passes all understanding and keeps you through the storms of life,and its free to whosoever asks for it.,,it is also a deffence against the wicked one and will keep you safe always,well gotta go friend and ill check back to see if you wanted to go on with this discussion,,my prayers are with you.

[Ishna]

I have also experienced the peace and love that comes from the Divine. However there are also mortal issues that I need to face and overcome.

Blessings,
Ishna.

[BlackMagicalCat]

then blessings to you,may you find what you seek,

[alesay]

ok, i'm not one who worships Hekate but i do worship the morrigan who is considered dark to some i guess. Though she's never been dark to me... My advice and you can take it for what you want :D Is that you need to make up your mind. Not to sound harsh or inconsiderate, but i read your posts and you say "i want to ride one hekates highway" but then you are worried that she's killing your dogs or is maybe a little to intense for you. Like someone has previously said, you need to figure out why you were drawn to her, and from that if you want to persue your relationship or not... At first i was drawn to Aphrodite, because she had always interested me since i was little... And now i'm worshiping a Celtic war goddess?! HAHA could you get any different? I think that the major problem is you need to figure out if Hekate is what you want, who you want to follow or not... That is where you have your dilema... Take some time out to yourself... see if you see an essence of her in everything whereever you are... Then you'll be ready to know if you want to follow her... No wishy washing... It's all or nothing babe, maybe that's what she's trying to tell you :) good luck!! i hope you find your answers