I need to rant.

[Sequoia]

*SCREAM!*

Things are too stressful!!!

there's a quasi-friend of mine, an "elder". . . . and older spirit or not (I don't know. I just don't.) I am tired of how she regards me. She thinks I'm too young, she thinks I'm disrespectful r haughty or something like that. (I'm not trying to be. . . . she's talking about something, I mention that I had already noticed, she said it was impossible for me to have, I said I didn't know how I knew, I just knew. . .and for some reason this means I'm being uppity or disrespectful or something since it was "impossible" for me to know and she's an elder to me. . . . I don't think she is, really. . . different, yes. Aged differently, yes. But I don't feel like she's givin me reasons to respect her, really. I'll respect her like every other person, but she's looking for me to screw up or something, I don't know. Maybe I AM trying too hard to be accepted, but I'm not lying, I'm not being uppity. . . I wish she'd just chill.

I'm all achy and I sucked in Badmitton today. I have to spend time with my annoying mother today. I miss my boyfriend. I'm hungry and I don't have money for lunch. I don't want to walk home.

I'm having a bad day. oh, and the kicker? I asked one of my friends (who knows the elder better) if the elder disliked me? and she said "just a little. . ." and then told me about how the elder felt. . . . gods. What the heck did I do to seem uppity?

*sighs* well, I'm just ranting. Needed to tell SOMEBODY . . . . *sighs*

sorry if I've upset you guys. ^_^ hope your day goes better!

~Puma Hime

[Xois]

This "elder" sure doesn't sound like she / he deserves the title!

sorry you are having a bad day hun! *hugs*

it will get better!

[Kaylara]

I agree.
Excuse me.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kaylara

[Ball-Bhreac Ròn]

((((((((((PUMA)))))))))))

[Sequoia]

kaylara -

I second that

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

[Lavender]

Puma, we respect & like you here.

Big Hugs!

[Myst]

Elder *does* mean older in age in its common usage.

If you mean Elder in Paganism that usually refers to someone who is older, more experienced, more learned. Doesn't mean you have to respect them tho huh?

I can see why she might think that's uppity, myself, because if someone did that to me I'd think the same. Maybe if you don't want her to think that don't say you knew about that when she says something a lot? You probably don't mean it to seem that way, but when someone younger always goes "oh I knew that" someone older might think that the younger person is trying to look like they're smarter then the older. Know what I mean? You could stop saying that even if you do think it, or you could let her know that you didn't mean it to seem that way, or you could decide she's not worth wasting your time. I mean obviously just coz she's older doesn't mean you have to respect her at all!

That's just my ideas tho. Sorry you had a bad day.

[Lilu]

While I don't necessarily stand by the "older is more experienced so respect them" ideal, I have to admit that I'd find it a bit uppity if everything I was trying to teach you was followed by an "Oh I already know that"

And it doesn't really show a willingness to learn if you at least don't take time to sit down and consider that maybe your teacher has a point. I think the way you automatically write it off as "of course I'm not like that" is a little uppity in and of itself.

I don't mean it to come across as harsh, but there have been times that you have posted things that I personally considered a little naive - we all have lots to learn, and we can't learn if we don't remain silent for a bit.

Maybe you need to look a little harder at the comments by your teacher - and if you TRULY think that she is out of line, then maybe she's not a teacher/elder that you need to be associating with. Just my 2c

BB and hope you have a better day tomorrow!
Lilu

[Twilight]

well it's like yoda said, you must have patience to learn the way of the force! 'i cannot teach him, he is impatient' and then ben kenobi's ghost comes and says 'i was impatient once too!'

so maybe this elder is just testing you.. they do that sometimes you know. or maybe they're just a jerk! whichever one it is, stick around a little longer so you're sure about it.

- twilight

[zhowlingwolf]

My mother always told me it's o.k. to have a bird land on your head , but it's not o.k. to let the bird build a nest (LoL). I believe
with all my heart that we are all children of the God/dess, all loved
and equal: nobody is above or below. I will try to be respectful to all, however when i don't believe they have my best intrest in mind, I just try to be civil and get along the best I can. You have a lot to offer others the world and yourself, (in my oppinion seeing what I have read) you deserve the best! I can get steamrolled sometimes and don't speak up as I should due to a shy nature; this can be interpreted as "stuck up" sometimes.
May the light be your guide and the darkness be your comfort.
Blessed Be! zhowlingwolf

[Xois]

Down with Elders!


Oh sorry...must be the meds again

As somone who is TOTALLY self taught, I feel like I have a distince advantage (especially the trial and error part) over people who have had "teachers"

But thats just me...maybe I am a glutton for punishment!!! ;)

[Starlight]

I forever dub thee " The screaming when your having a bad day thread"
And to bless it...........AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
:scream: :scream: :scream: :scream: :scream: :scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream::scream:

Ah! That felt rather nice! :)
I feel better to!

[Myst]

Ok, there's nothing wrong with Elders, and there's nothing wrong with having a teacher. Some people get bad teachers, but that doesn't mean they're all bad. Some people just work better with some instruction.

I know you were kidding Xois but I just thought I'd mention that for those who don't :)

[arewynn]

Well if you were not trying to be upity
then try and explain this to the oldie ..
i mean elder..you may find though if this
person dislikes you for no reason there may
be nothing you can do to change this. i am also
sorry to hear you are having a ruff time..but
in these troubling time s remember to be thankful you
still have a mother to be bothered by ..some have not
been so lucky.
hope things pick up for
you hugs and bright blessings
arewynn

[Sequoia]

Lilu- although I admit that at times I am naive, and that I have a lot to learn. . . . I don't always go "oh I know." at all. . . And the way I said it wasn't as though to say "I know that already, stupid." it was more like I was so excited that I observed and understood right, and I was communicating that to her. Also - I never asked her to be a teacher, she simply kind of assumed the role. A friend of mine who was there at the same time understands where I was coming from, although as suggested by others, she thought perhaps I shouldn't mention that I knew it already. I suppose I'm learning. Sadly, one of the things I'm learning, is to keep my big mouth shut. I feel as though lately when I share my opinions, I am considered dead wrong by most, or that I'm being uppity, or other negative things.

Wildchild - thanks!! *HUGS* that makes me feel better.

Twilight - I don't think she's testing me. . . it was more like she didn't expect it, didn't belive it, and thought I was lying. I just felt a sense of joy and wished to share it, but I guess she didn't belive me. I try to be patient, although I know that I wish I could learn and be accepted at a faster rate than most people think I should. . . . I don't know, honestly, what is "right." I just try to go by my feelings.

As far as the elders thing goes. . . . I know several people I consider elders. Yes, they are older than me. But they have demonstrated more than once, patience, good judgement, understanding, wiseness, and the like. These are the kind of people whom I enjoy respecting. Now, naturally I give everyone all the respect I can. Everyone deserves respect. However, I do not feel that she is treating me quite right, and several people also feel this way. I give her the respect I would give anyone else, however, I do not feel I should revere her. She may be a priestess, she may be an elder. She may be physically and spiritually older than me. But she treats me very condescendingly, which I neither welcome nor appreciate. And while I give her respect as she deserves, like I said, I'm not going to hold my breath around her.

Initially, I held a great deal of respect for her and her position. After her behevior, I simply adjusted my reactions. . . . Like anyone else, right?

Well, anyways, this has been a long post. I"m heading to bed. Day was bad, got better, got worse, perhaps now it's getting better. ^_^; hehe

Let's all get rest! it's good! hehe

[Myst]

Sometimes even tho we have the best intentions we have to accept somehow we did present ourselves the wrong way - that perhaps our reactions or wordings had something to do with the reason why we are misinterpreted. For some people, you can explain your actions and intentions all day long and they'll still hear what they hear.

In which case, one has to choose to change their attitude or give up on communicating. I think that's what Lilu meant :D

[Lilu]

Originally posted by Willow Raven
Sometimes even tho we have the best intentions we have to accept somehow we did present ourselves the wrong way - that perhaps our reactions or wordings had something to do with the reason why we are misinterpreted. For some people, you can explain your actions and intentions all day long and they'll still hear what they hear.

In which case, one has to choose to change their attitude or give up on communicating. I think that's what Lilu meant :D

More or less :) Thanks Willow.

And like I said, if you have taken a good look at your own attitude Puma, and think you are acting appropriately (I wasn't trying to say you weren't, just recommending analysis first :)) and truly believe this woman to be condescending, not appropriate etc (and others agree with you) - then I would recommend talking to her about things or not having anything to do with her. After all, like you said, she wasn't asked to teach, just assumed the role - she can just as easily be "un-assumed" :) And like Xois said - you don't NEED a teacher.

BB
Lilu

[flar7]

An elder or teacher figure would do well to respect the student.
Usually they remember what it was like and make allowances.
I cant speak for your case (no one can) so maybe you're right.

The student represents the teacher, the passing of knowledge.
People would know the teacher by the quality of the student.

xois- all people are self taught. you observe others and go from there. but you may have meant in physical things, like doing something for the first time with no one to show you how. Trial and error.

I personally prefer to be taught, less painful than working my own way through it alone. :boing: <love this guy!

[Sequoia]

Well, I'm going to try to give things some time with her. Perhaps she was just having a bad day. Things seemed ok today, and i offered her a "cookie of peace" LMAO which just happened to be her favourite kind of cookies. And I apologized. She said it was ok. *shrugs* soo. . . . I dono lol

I did a tarot reading for her which confirmed some suspicions she had had, LOL so that was a good thing.

oop gotta go! LOL she's here in the lab!