Teasing and taunting led girl to end her life

[Kaylara]

Pressures that prompted mass shootings also spur quiet suicides

By George Hunter / The Detroit News

LINCOLN PARK -- Twelve-year-old Tempest Smith sat alone in her bedroom one chilly morning late last month and gazed into the mirror. Shortly before her classes were to start at Lincoln Park Middle School, she kissed her reflection goodbye.
The lipstick smudges still adorn Tempest's mirror, sad reminders of the day the tall, troubled girl slipped a leopard-print scarf around her neck and hanged herself from her bunk bed.
Tempest's journal, discovered under her bed after her Feb. 20 suicide, offers a glimpse into a problem family and friends didn't fully understand: the incessant teasing she faced every day about her shy demeanor, choice of clothing and religious beliefs that made each day of school -- then eventually life itself -- unbearable.
Everyone is against me. Still, death will come sooner or later for me. Will I ever have friends again?
The haunting, hopeless feelings Tempest privately expressed in her daily journal are shared by an increasing number of children. Although older teens commit the bulk of suicides, at least 300 children ages 10-14 kill themselves annually nationwide. The number of suicides in that age group has tripled since 1995 in Michigan.
Taunts alone usually won't cause a child to commit suicide, experts say. But combined with other problems, constant ridicule by peers can be enough to push a kid over the edge. Teasing and bullying is a constant thread running through school violence.
On Monday, a ninth-grader at Santana High School near San Diego shot and killed two students and wounded 13 others; classmates said the 15-year-old was often picked on. And at Columbine High School in 1999, two students who'd been teased for years gunned down 12 classmates and a teacher before killing themselves.
But for every violent episode that makes headlines, there are more than 2,000 U.S. children each year who, like Tempest Smith, quietly decide they can't take it any more.

'Jesus luvs u'
Tempest often spent hours in her bedroom writing poems and other reflections in the small notebook she kept beneath her bed. The notebook was a birthday gift from her mother. It had a picture of pop star Ricky Martin on the cover.
Tempest, a tall, slim blond who got her name because she was born during a violent storm, wrote about typical youthful concerns: crushes on boys; her dog, a shar-pei named Buddy; trips to her grandmother's house. She wrote about family, calling her mother, "the best mom ever."
She also wrote about the pain she increasingly endured during school.
He said some things to me. It all made my skin boil. Afterward, my head ached.

John T. Greilick / The Detroit News

Denessa Smith sits alone in her dead daughter's room. Tempest Smith, 12, killed herself in her Lincoln Park bedroom last month after being taunted by classmates.

[Kaylara]

Although Tempest had a few friends, many of her classmates had teased her constantly since elementary school. They teased her because she wore dark "Gothic" clothing to school. They teased her because she read books about Wicca, a pagan religion often associated with witchcraft. Her classmates often taunted her with Christian hymns.
Now people aren't chanting Jesus luvs u. They're singing it.
"Tempest was her own person, and the kids made fun of her a lot," said classmate Shayna Obiyan, 12.
Tempest didn't smile much at school, said 14-year-old Jason Pate. "She seemed sad all the time," he said.
Life at home was different, said Tempest's mother, Denessa Smith. "She was very talented," Smith said of her oldest child. "She liked to play the flute and write poetry."
Smith, who raised Tempest alone, wasn't concerned when her daughter became interested in witchcraft. "She asked me if I'd buy her some books about Wicca, and I said I wanted to read them first," Smith said. "The books all talked about love and nature. I didn't see anything wrong with that."
Tempest would get moody sometimes -- "but what 12-year-old girl doesn't?" wondered Smith, an administrative assistant at McDonald's Corp. in Taylor. "I knew she was being teased at school, but I didn't know it bothered her that much. She never told me."

'Her lips were blue'
Feb. 20 was a half-day at Lincoln Park Middle School. Tempest wasn't due in class until noon. She woke up around 10 a.m., showered, then donned her usual outfit: black pants and a black shirt. Then she ate a bowl of Frosted Flakes and watched television.
Because of the late school day, Annette Crossman, a family friend, offered to drive Tempest to class while her mother was at work. "She seemed perfectly normal," Crossman said.
After breakfast, Tempest went to her bedroom. "At around 11:30, I hollered that it was time to go," Crossman said. "She didn't answer."
Crossman noticed that Buddy, the family dog, was acting strangely. "He was walking around in circles and whining," she said. "That's when I knew something was wrong."
When Crossman rushed to Tempest's bedroom, she found the girl hanging.
"At first, I didn't believe what I was seeing," Crossman said. "Then it hit me, and I got a knife and cut her down. Her lips were blue; I was freaking out."
She called for an ambulance, which arrived within minutes. Tempest was rushed to Henry Ford Hospital in Wyandotte.
Crossman called Denessa Smith at work, and Tempest's frantic mother raced to the hospital. "When I got there," Smith said, "the doctors told me Tempest was probably brain-dead, but that they couldn't make an official prognosis."
A helicopter transported Tempest to the University of Michigan Hospital in Ann Arbor. At 5:30 p.m., doctors told Smith her daughter was suffering irreparable brain damage, due to asphyxiation.
At 10:55 a.m. on Feb. 21, after more than 50 organs were removed from her body for donations, Tempest Smith was taken off the hospital's life support system.

Students express grief, guilt
Do you want to be around me? Ever will I live in peace?

John T. Greilick / The Detroit News

Tempest's journal, above, reveals a deeper pain than many knew she felt. At her funeral, students who used to tease her expressed guilt and sorrow with notes, below.





Students at Lincoln Park Middle School are now trying to find peace themselves, haunted by the feeling that they may have driven their classmate to end her life. Many of Tempest's classmates have told teachers and counselors they feel responsible, because they teased the girl so ruthlessly. More than 100 students showed up at Tempest's funeral last Saturday, bearing cards and placards expressing their grief -- and guilt.
"I'm sorry if I said mean things to you," one of Tempest's classmates wrote. "I didn't mean them. It was the easiest way for me to hide what was wrong with me."
"I am sorry that it led to this," was the message written on a placard. "None of it should have happened. If only they had understood, then you would still be alive."
Lincoln Park school officials and grief counselors have been working with the students.
"The last thing we want to do is make our students feel guilty," said Lincoln Park Middle School Principal Robert Redden. "But, maybe there is a lesson to be learned here: that we should strive to treat each other with more kindness."
More than 2,000 school-age children -- age 19 or younger -- take their own lives each year, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
And while the numbers are small, the rise in suicides by children ages 10 to 14 is particularly troubling, health officials say.
Only four Michigan children in that age group committed suicide in 1995. In 1998, the most recent year for which statistics are available, 13 children in the state had taken their lives.
While there are no simple answers, health officials believe that teasing can send an already troubled child over the edge.
More than 90 percent of people who commit suicide suffer from clinical depression, said Lanny Berman, executive director of the American Association of Suicidology in Washington, D.C. "Often, it's these mental conditions that cause children to be teased in the first place," Berman said.
Jean Vasquez twice attempted suicide by slitting her wrists when she was in middle school. She still has the scars on her wrists, reminders of her difficulty dealing with the relentless teasing she received as a child.
"If you're a little different, some kids can make your life an absolute hell," said Vasquez, now 35, of Detroit.

Are schools responsible?
Anybody here to hear me? No one will stay near me.
Educators who fail to hear the distressed cries from students who are harassed now face litigation, after a 1999 Supreme Court ruling held a Georgia school district liable for monetary damages to a fifth-grader because of the district's indifference to a pattern of sexual harassment.
There have since been a number of similar lawsuits, said Michigan Association of School Boards legal council Brad Banasik. "The Supreme Court case opened the door," Banasik said. "But, the person bringing the lawsuit has to prove that a teacher or other administrator actually saw the harassment."
Robin and Carl Zaas lost a lawsuit against the Northville district last year, after the couple failed to prove their 9-year-old daughter's teachers were aware of any allegations of harassment by other students.
But similar suits have been successful. In 1999, a Seattle teen with cerebral palsy was awarded $300,000 in an out-of-court settlement, after the boy sued the school because he said his teachers were indifferent to his classmates' taunts about his medical condition.
Denessa Smith isn't sure if school staff knew about the teasing her daughter received.
"Tempest said she told her teachers about it all the time," Smith said. "I have to wonder if someone in the school couldn't have stopped it."
School administrators weren't aware of the problem, said Principal Redden. "If the teachers don't actually see the teasing, there's not much they can do," he said.

Not too late
Death -- why does it come? Ever will I die? No, no, I will live hopefully.
Educators are becoming aware of the often devastating effects of teasing and bullying by students, and some schools are setting policies that deal with the problem. In one Oakland, Calif., district, students have a "consulting teacher" they check in with twice daily, who resolves any conflict before allowing them back to class.
And in New Mexico, Chelwood Elementary School Principal Jack Vermillion last year instituted an "anti-bullying" program.
"Experience shows that about 15 percent of students do the teasing; 10 percent are teased; and 75 percent are glad they don't get teased," Vermillion said. "This program focuses on getting that silent majority to speak out when they see a classmate being teased or bullied."
Such programs seem to work. Vermillion said he usually suspends between eight and 10 students a year for fighting; during the first year of the effort, he suspended just one. And, in Norway, bullying behavior reportedly dropped by 50 percent after a program was instituted in schools there.
Although Tempest Smith is gone, it's not too late for educators and students to open their eyes to the consequences of teasing, Denessa Smith said.
"You never know -- something you say might be the one thing that pushes them over the edge," Smith said
Tempest would've been surprised at how many of her classmates cared about her, said seventh-grader Shirley Kovacs.
"I was sad when she died," Kovacs said. "The whole school was sad."

From: http://www.detroitnews.com/2001/schools/0103/07/a01-196600.htm

Kaylara

[Dextra]

I'm still in tears from reading that, Kaylara.

I understand what that poor girl went through. I went through hell in middle school myself. I was always the quiet type when I was younger and I seemed to become the scapegoat for everyone to pick on. I had no friends. People constantly started rumors about me, which I won't get in to. But I know all about the "Jesus loves u" remarks.

Schools need to do more to protect their students from being tormented! My mother had several conferences with the administrators of the middle school I attended, but it did no good. I was attacked by 5 girls in a stairwell, and 2 of them got a 3-day suspension. The other three got off with a warning. It went further than that though. Most of these kids lived in my neighborhood and I couldn't leave my house for fear of being attacked. My mother had to drive me to school everyday because I couldn't ride the bus, because I would've been attacked there too. We got restraining orders against the "ring leader" of the whole thing and her sister. But the school would do nothing. They said that it wasn't a serious problem.

I spent two years in therapy and suffered from severe clinical depression because of it. And suicide crossed my mind more than once. I was only 13 years old. And the whole thing started because the "ring leader's" boyfriend broke up with her to go out with me. I was put through hell for something as silly as that. My belief in witchcraft was never discussed outside my house until this started. You see, the girl that started it all was my best friend. We grew up together. So when she got her panties in a bunch and decided to torment me, that was her best weapon.

But, no matter how bad I was tormented, no matter how many times I had to leave school in the middle of the day in tears, no matter how many times I got beat up, the school decided that it wasn't that big a deal.
Kids can be cruel. And kids that are middle school age are the cruelest creatures I've ever seen. And as times get meaner, so do they. I fear for my children when they reach school age. I can't help but think of the hell that they could potentially be put through. And I shudder when I think about how the school will ignore it if it does happen.

[bluecat]

This is one of those things that just rips your heart out and throws it on the ground so it can stomp it with it's nasty waffle boots.

I am always at a loss for words when this kind of thing happens. I was VERY recently involved in an online discussion with someone who claimed to be a Xian and wanted very much to "convert" me, win me back to Jesus. The problem is from everything I have ever seen and what I read here there was no Xian love expressed at all towards this girl until it was too late and then it was just out of guilt.

I wonder what the fella who left rings on my table would say. I would venture to guess that he would blame everyone but the students who taunted the girl, including and especially the parents for allowing her to "explore" the works of "Satan." It seems to me that their "Satan" has done some very nifty handiwork thru the hands and mouths of many good "Xian" folks who now want the whole thing to just go away so they don't have to remember it and be reminded of what they have done.

I am sure that they will all be fed neat little "Jesus" rationalizations for what they did by their clergy and the mother will probably find herself the target of many recriminations.

That is all I really have to say, what I am thinking at the moment is pretty vile and should not be put into words.

Steve

[Yvonne Belisle]

THANK-YOU You have just given me a weapon to use in dealing with my children's schools. My two older boys have a lot of problems with teasing. The younger one who is about to turn 11 spent the week before his birthday last year in a hospital for threatening suicide. He was being teased and he is Christian so it wasn't that. He is allergic to soap products and suffers enuresis so he often has a bit of an odor. We do all we can waking him at night and showers in the morning but it isn't always enough so he is teased. He also has difficulty reading so is in remedial reading. My older son has a very bad over bite leading to the nickname "beaverboy" the school put him in special education because he fights a lot. He fights because he is being teased. Both boys are going to be in glasses very soon which will lead to more teasing and the school won't do anything!!!! I have been very disturbed by this but have lacked the means to take it from an overprotective parent in the schools eyes. This tragedy may be the means to preventing another one. I am crying with gratitude as I read this. Again thank-you! Please note two days ago the younger boy came home crying that no one likes him asking if we could move now.

[bluecat]

I applied my anger and rage and sent it to another direction.

http://www.bluecatsden.com/teasing_and_taunting_led_girl_to.html

[Earth Walker]

This is the reason I despise any patriarchal fundamental
religion...they sit on their high-horses of "morality"
looking down at other people, and pretending that
their poop don't stink. :meanface: :smash:
The right-wing fundamentalists only have one basic
tenet: "Do as I say, Not as I do." :rolleyes:
REMEMBER
********************************************
The Christian Right are not.
The Moral Majority are neither.
;) :cool: :D

[bluecat]

Originally posted by Mystique
This is the reason I despise any patriarchal fundamental
religion...they sit on their high-horses of "morality"
looking down at other people, and pretending that
their poop don't stink. :meanface: :smash:
The right-wing fundamentalists only have one basic
tenet: "Do as I say, Not as I do." :rolleyes:
REMEMBER
********************************************
The Christian Right are not.
The Moral Majority are neither.
;) :cool: :D
:smash:

[Kaylara]

Well, I was saddened and sickened by this article, which is why I posted it. (Thank you Bluecat for the page you put up... I will be posting the same on my page.)
I printed the article out and showed it to my soon to be twelve year old brother who is picked on quite badly at school. He got very upset, and expressed how wrong he felt it was that this person went through all that she did. He also said how horrible it was that those people who picked on her only felt sorry for it because she died.
Now the school has "guilt councilors" to keep this girls tormentors from feeling guilty about her death. I'm sorry, but they should feel guilty. Maybe they won't tease other people now. I wish that people who make fun of other people could feel what it is like to be picked on. How much it hurts, how long that hurt lasts. How their words stab deeper than any knife. I am sorry for this girl because I went through the same thing that she was going through. I came close to killing myself many times when I was the same age as her, for the same reasons. I wish that she didn't do this, I cry for her family and for her, and for all of the other children who are hurt in this way.

Kaylara

[Sephiroth]

that put me in tears. now i need my anti-depessants again. i hate to hear of deaths and killings for every time i do i go sit in the mat-su river not to far from were i live and pray for ther souls to have a good journey and a safe one.

(a tear falls)

[Armitage]

I don't think Christianity should be blamed, just the narrow-mindedness of people and the unseeing-ness of the education system.

[bluecat]

I tend to disagree with you Armitage, I have seen too much of this "One way only" thing.

I am of opinion that they will eventually look upon themselves as the victims and blame the mother, anything to shift the responsibility.

I don't mean to sound bitter, but experience is a rough teacher.

Steve

[Earth Walker]

:cool: Today we have right-wingers trying to make
themselves look like the victims while they persecute
others...a good example is Duhmbya; he is pushing
to make christianity the sole religion in the U.S., he
wants to overturn Roe vs Wade, wants to make
homosexuality a federal crime, no special(equal)
rights for people wanting their rights & freedoms,
tax-cuts for the rich & tax hikes for the rest of us. :mad:
Vicente Fox of Mexico, whose actions have sent many
lesbians, gays, transsexuals, transgendered, native
peoples fleeing to Canada for safety.
Pauline Hanson in Australia, giving rants about how
she considers the Aboriginies less than human, she
wants a white-only society. :bad:
Stockwell Day in Canada, with his Racist/hatemongering
remarks, the same for the Canadian Alliance.
Not to mention other right-wingers elsewhere, and
Muslims, their attitudes towards women and other
people.:smash:
:D :bigredgri :)

[Armitage]

Blue- But not *all* Christians are like that, and not all believe theirs is the only right way. Matter of fact, a friend of mine who is entering seminary told me that those people are wrong for proselytizing, and are going against the bible. those that do so are what I mean by narrow-mindedness, too set in their own way and what they are told to do, to think for themselves and see who they hurt.
I'm not trying to start an argument, so please don't take this the wrong way. ^_^

[bluecat]

Armitage,

I understand that and also understand that there are plenty of "One Way" Pagans out there. I was emphasizing that I am seeing TOO MUCH of the One way thing out there, especially lately and where I am.

I was not offended.

BlueCat

[Kaylara]

Tempest is being honored by the Witches Voice...

Please visit:
http://www.witchvox.com/

Thanks,
Kaylara

[bluecat]

This is an excerpt from and e-mail I just received:

"... this same school district was sued in 1999 by the
ACLU and Crystal Scheifferly after the high school principal banned all things Pagan as 'gang symbols' and specifically banned (upon pain of expulsion) young Pagans of faith such as Crystal from wearing their
religious symbols. No one school district that I am aware of, ever received more educational materials concerning the beliefs and practices of Pagans
than did this very district."

I have added the bold

Steve

[Niamh]

I'm still fairly speachelss after reading that article. Wow. It makes me so upset! I was taunted in school for being a tall smart redhead... but at the time had not started studying paganism, so I can't relate to having schoolmates tease me so. How awful for her poor mother!

[Dragonmother]

Dear Mr. Hunter;
Thank you very much for the attention you gave to this news item. What might have been a barely noticed item, became, in your hands. a grief-stirring essay on human fragillity. If you can, please forward this letter on to the school at which this tragedy occured, for me. Or, if you are not willing to do that, may I ask you for the snail-mail address?
Sincerely,
Shawn Longino

To whom It may concern;
First, let me offer my condolences regarding the tragedy that occured in your school.
I wish to address this quote from Mr. Hunter's article about the incident;
" ...Lincoln Park school officials and grief counselors have been working with the students.
***"The last thing we want to do is make our students feel guilty," said Lincoln Park Middle School Principal Robert Redden. "But, maybe there is a lesson to be learned here: that we should strive to treat each other with more kindness."
I feel that the students who feel guilty know why they should. To deny them this emotion is to deny them an enormous tool in reaching maturity. In my opinion, the experience of death at an early age goes further towards creating a truly compassionate human being- in no other way is the fragility of human life so clearly shown. Knowing that you had a hand in another soul's demise just might make you more careful of the rest of the souls around you.
As teenagers, my sister and I were teased relentlessly. I reacted by withdrawing my attention, and becoming oblivious to my peers- and, unfortunately, to my teachers also, whom I percieved of as being incapable of protecting me. My younger sister was teased to the brink of suicide. I believe neither of us ever regained fully the self-confidence that we were born with.
There are many tragedies happening in the world around us. You have an unparalled opportunity to educate an entire school's worth of human beings, and incalculate a true sense of compassion. Don't waste your time by putting bandages on the boo-boos. They, and we, all deserve better than that.
Sincerely,
Shawn Longino
Chicago Ill.

[Yvonne Belisle]

I sent a letter to my childrens school. The following is the reply they sent me, keep in mind when I have complained about teasing I've been told that it is normal and that the kids need to work it out together.
========================================


Thank-you for this thought-provoking writing. As you may know, I've always
felt that character education is an important part of each student's daily life
at school. It begins with the teacher and the lessons seem to be present each
and every day. I feel I've done my utmost to try to create an atmosphere in
my class where every student is respected. In other words, I have never
accepted teasing and have always dealt with it as promptly as I could. If you
would like to discuss specific circumstances with me involving Demetri, I would
be glad to meet with you at your convenience. Ernie Guimmayen



=========================================
Doesn't that just make you feel that the schools are oh so safe???

[Sephiroth]

sounds like the schools dont care about the students at all just the fact that they teach and get paid for doing it. im 18 years old and im taking care of my friend jessicas 6 year old boy. and hes a hell raiser i agreed with the teacher about that, but the teachers i think dont care about the students at all. only to make there school look good so they keep getting grants each year. but schools should try harder at keeping the peace at schools, because of the fact that one kid can get kicked out for the week and the person that started it all is still in school. whats the student that got kicked out going to do. he/she is going to think i got intruble for something i didnt do and be more pissed than he/she was in the first place. and maybe even start shooting up the school

[Dragonmother]

Originally posted by Sephiroth
sounds like the schools dont care about the students at all just the fact that they teach and get paid for doing it. im 18 years old and im taking care of my friend jessicas 6 year old boy. and hes a hell raiser i agreed with the teacher about that, but the teachers i think dont care about the students at all. only to make there school look good so they keep getting grants each year. but schools should try harder at keeping the peace at schools, because of the fact that one kid can get kicked out for the week and the person that started it all is still in school. whats the student that got kicked out going to do. he/she is going to think i got intruble for something i didnt do and be more pissed than he/she was in the first place. and maybe even start shooting up the school
Jeez, I hope not! That, unfortunately, is part of YOUR job, to teach a child how to deal with frustrations. In fact, I can recomend a book- "Raising the Optimistic Child" http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0000546GL/qid=984539191/sr=1-2/ref=sc_b_2/105-8054577-6097554
NOt affiliated, yadda yadda... but, I am using this with my kids right now, I don't want them to go thruogh what my sister and I did, as in my post up above- Or, if fate leads them that way, I want them to have better tools to deal with it.
About schools...
If you really want to get the school on your kids side, they CAN be bought. Volunteer- if you have the time, of course, I know that's the toughest part, but any school anywhere will be pathetically grateful for your time. At my kids' school, I am a big celebrity whenever I walk in, because of the time I spent there, and most of that was three years ago! Let me tell you, as my boy gets older and starts getting into trouble, its more and more useful.
Where I live, in Chicago, the schools are in a desperate scramble for funds. The teachers are paid lower than out in the suburbs, and have very limited materials allowances. Every teacher My children have had, has ended the school year paying out of pocket for paper and making copies of teaching materials. The grants bring the school funds to merely below level, instead of abysmally bad. If it seems like they are money grubbing, it's really because they are grubbing for money. And it's only going to get worse.
Have you ever seen that slogan of the Quaker schools - "It will be a great day when our schools have all the money they need and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber"?

[Sephiroth]

i volenteer at the school that he goes to. im a 2 grade volenteer teachers aid at the school. thats how i heard about it in the first place, but i know how to raise kids i came from a family were that was the main objective of the family was to raise the family as one.

[Yvonne Belisle]

We definitely need more volunteers at the schools. I think what both of you have done and are doing is fantastic. Sadly enough the more double working parent families there are the fewer volunteers are available. Ironically enough the school replied with 'we have always been concerned about this issue and quick to react'. I'm angry but can't do much but because of these tragedies policies are changing. With any luck some good can come from this horror.

[lynx]

If there was an ikon with steam coming out of it's ears, it'd be right here ( ).

Schools of today are crap. I went to them. I can say that due to the people in them. Children with no respect for life. (If you can not respect people then gol darn it, respect life itself. Com' on people, get it to gether.)

Sure schools try their best, but you show me a teach who cares and I'll show you a student who will learn and live. That is our problem. Address it.

Sure teachers try to act all heroic and crud, but if it is not for the truth, it's nothing. Truth being, life. When you can pay attention to the minds and soles that look at you every day, then you are a teacher. Untill then forget it.

I myself saw that a teacher was not being true. Teaching as one should, with respect to themselves. She allowed my classmates to walk all over her. That is where she failed. She had to do the walking. Still to this day, she fails. I questioned her to my princepal, and was told that I was being to much of an adult. Com'on now. What is that supposed to mean. I'm the only adult in the room? You think about that. I was 12 years old and I could see her failures. No one listened. Still no one sees.

Our children need love. Be it hard love. My son, who I love dearly, has learned the true extent of my teachings as to so far. He dared call me a female dog. I smacked him. I will not lie. I popped him right across the mouth. I explained how he made himself look as though he was crud under his feet. To dis-respect himself like that by calling someone else a name of un-truths.

He to this day will not call me any names but mommy. And that word has since then crossed over his lips never. By showing him his wrongs to himself, I helped to raise him one step closer.

This to me was and is not abuse. I do myself so that he can see that I love and cherish him. I do not expect a teacher or any one else for that matter, to do it for me. I showed him today, that I am here.

He is only two, he will be three in April. Teaching is showing love and most of all, respect for thy self.

Rest those soles who have departed. Know this that thou shal be remembered as light......

Blessed be...

Lynx

[Lady Tana]

for a long time i tried to stay away from posting on this thread...
this one hits too very close to home..
i am having the same problems with my 11 year old and have started him in councling because of my fear for him.
the teasing has got to the point that there is a war every morning before school and he will not ride the bus because it is so bad... and the worst part is that no one will do anything to stop it at school. mayhaps i will print this off for them to read and then i can read them the riot act... for all the good that i believe it will do...

[Fairywolf]

I am very sad with all the violence and hate in the world to day but when all you see is violence and hate how can you show anything else? I belive that children are the crulest people in the world and the reason I belive this is because they don't know any better. It's not because they have bad parents or uncareing parents it's because noone wants to show them how to treat others. I want children very much but I have some problems conceiving them but sometimes I am unsure I want to bring a child up in this hate filled world. I don't want them to suffer the way I have to suffer with narrowminded people. I hurt enough for everyone I don't want another to hurt as well.:(

[Dragonmother]

Originally posted by Lady Tana
for a long time i tried to stay away from posting on this thread...
this one hits too very close to home..
i am having the same problems with my 11 year old and have started him in councling because of my fear for him.
the teasing has got to the point that there is a war every morning before school and he will not ride the bus because it is so bad... and the worst part is that no one will do anything to stop it at school. mayhaps i will print this off for them to read and then i can read them the riot act... for all the good that i believe it will do...


Yes! print out that article, and bring it to the school. Tell them, in your sweetest voice (And tuck those fangs back in) that you would hate to see an article like this one written about OUR school...
BTW, I got email back from Mr Hunter, the reporter. He gave me the school's snail-mail address, and said he would rather not forward my letter himself, as he isn't real popular there right now...

[Witchbourne]

Originally posted by Kaylara
Pressures that prompted mass shootings also spur quiet suicides

By George Hunter / The Detroit News

LINCOLN PARK -- Twelve-year-old Tempest Smith sat alone in her bedroom one chilly morning late last month and gazed into the mirror. Shortly before her classes were to start at Lincoln Park Middle School, she kissed her reflection goodbye.
The lipstick smudges still adorn Tempest's mirror, sad reminders of the day the tall, troubled girl slipped a leopard-print scarf around her neck and hanged herself from her bunk bed.
Tempest's journal, discovered under her bed after her Feb. 20 suicide, offers a glimpse into a problem family and friends didn't fully understand: the incessant teasing she faced every day about her shy demeanor, choice of clothing and religious beliefs that made each day of school -- then eventually life itself -- unbearable.
Everyone is against me. Still, death will come sooner or later for me. Will I ever have friends again?
The haunting, hopeless feelings Tempest privately expressed in her daily journal are shared by an increasing number of children. Although older teens commit the bulk of suicides, at least 300 children ages 10-14 kill themselves annually nationwide. The number of suicides in that age group has tripled since 1995 in Michigan.
Taunts alone usually won't cause a child to commit suicide, experts say. But combined with other problems, constant ridicule by peers can be enough to push a kid over the edge. Teasing and bullying is a constant thread running through school violence.
On Monday, a ninth-grader at Santana High School near San Diego shot and killed two students and wounded 13 others; classmates said the 15-year-old was often picked on. And at Columbine High School in 1999, two students who'd been teased for years gunned down 12 classmates and a teacher before killing themselves.
But for every violent episode that makes headlines, there are more than 2,000 U.S. children each year who, like Tempest Smith, quietly decide they can't take it any more.

'Jesus luvs u'
Tempest often spent hours in her bedroom writing poems and other reflections in the small notebook she kept beneath her bed. The notebook was a birthday gift from her mother. It had a picture of pop star Ricky Martin on the cover.
Tempest, a tall, slim blond who got her name because she was born during a violent storm, wrote about typical youthful concerns: crushes on boys; her dog, a shar-pei named Buddy; trips to her grandmother's house. She wrote about family, calling her mother, "the best mom ever."
She also wrote about the pain she increasingly endured during school.
He said some things to me. It all made my skin boil. Afterward, my head ached.

John T. Greilick / The Detroit News

Denessa Smith sits alone in her dead daughter's room. Tempest Smith, 12, killed herself in her Lincoln Park bedroom last month after being taunted by classmates.





I know about school torture from classmates...i was one
of them that was torture by classmates as a child and
some parts of me sufers so when i read about Tempest
Smith....they killed her by they torture and it was near
they killed me...but i survived it but this girl dident....and
i know that there are someone in this minute in some
part of the world that are thinking to end themself
becouse of what classmates do and say to them...see
we need to see the seriousness in all this and there
most be better controls and teaching about this in schools so that no more children has to die....

and i want to say to Tempest Smith whereever she are
now....that your death will not be for nothing...you have
been printed in to the mind of many and thanks to this
have prevented the viloence in some schools....may all
light be with you dear child and i will remember you
allways and so will many with me.....Blessed be......

tears all this tears over unnesesary violence and death
********************************************

[Lilu]

I was a fat kid, so often picked on because of that. I was lucky though, I had "popular" cousins and friends, so I wasn't teased as much as I could have been. I also had a large group of friends who were also considered "odd" and were picked on - we banded together and took the pain together, and together we learned a lot. We went right through "high school" (grades 7-12 in Australia) together and in our senior years (11-12) we became "the popular kids".

It wasn't because we were all the skinny, beautiful, extroverts (though we were all attractive) - it was because we were empathetic, compassionate, and friendly, and we treated everyone with respect.

Our school was one of the better ones. We were very small, only about 150 students in a rural country setting. So everyone knew everyone, and myself and a lot of my friends made it our business to know what was going on in the lower grades because bullying was beginning to be a problem, and the teachers and principal weren't doing anything about it.

Kids were being held down and having pens jabbed into their legs, having their heads rammed into brick walls, and countless other horrors. I sat on the student representative council and had the opportunity to see just what the teachers and principal were doing about it - in one word NOTHING.

It was the senior students like myself who did what we could. We made it known to the lower grades that if they were having a problem they should come to one of us and tell us. We took reports, and then we approached the bullies. Usually it worked to put an end to the bullying because there was always one of us who this bully looked up to. But it was a sad situation, and I hate to think that it continued after we graduated.

It wasn't our responsibility to do anything, but we did it anyway. Needless to say, I wasn't well liked by the principal and especially the vice-principal, who we called "Noddy" because all he ever did was sit there and nod at you like he agreed with everything you were saying, and then didn't do anything about it. He did this to my Mum even! It was she who named him "Noddy".

I think I'll print this out and send it to my old school.

lilu

[Lilu]

Not to add to the good old American "sue everyone" attitude... but I wonder if you kept records. Had your children write down who teases them, what they say, and when, and keep this for a month or whatever. Contact the parents of these students and tell them that your child is being verbally abused by their child and what they are saying.

Also go to the teachers and the dean/principal (whatever you call them in the US) and approach them. I'd have them sign something saying that they've been made aware of the problem and promise to work toward putting a stop to it.

Then sue the pants off all of them - especially the parents of the kids - for verbal abuse. Sometimes you have to hit them where it hurts - the money.

lilu

[Yvonne Belisle]

You have an excellent point!

[KyGreenWitch]

To Tempest Smith's mother -

I bid you strength in a vulnerable time. I will send healing your way, if you wish. I was always made fun of because I never quite "fit in". My home life was miserable because I was always misunderstood. I contemplated suicide, and had tried but I just couldn't do it. It was very painful for me growing up. I'm sorry it was so painful for Tempest. Now so it is for you.

Know that I am one of many who send you love to help heal that which has now transcended.

Blessed be!

[lynx]

I don't know what annoys me most, the fact that this all had to happen. A young girl just starting into the world was given the feeling that she wasn't wanted or that the pricepal could try and make a lesson out of it.

A young girl was lost, is not that enough? Apparently not to the pricepal (I can't remember his name.) :bad:

Directed to the princepal, not to you guys...(Just so you know I'm not directing it towards you.)

All I can say, If you want to make a lesson out of something, make it out of yourself, pricepal. For your ignorance and lack of observations, you all allowed the murder of a child. And yes murder, when something or someone could have stopped it. Especially the students.

Let them feel the guilt. Let them see the destruction that they have done. That is one of our problems in the world today, no one gets to see the devistation of what they have done.

I say let the little darlings see in person what they caused a fellow classmate, child and human-being to do.

(weeping)

In tears of agony and rage....

Lynx

[Lady Tana]

Originally posted by Dragonmother

Yes! print out that article, and bring it to the school. Tell them, in your sweetest voice (And tuck those fangs back in) that you would hate to see an article like this one written about OUR school...

I printed it, took it to school and wouldnt you know it, they said just the samn damn thing that the principal in Tempists school said... "If we dont see it going on there isnt much we can do about it". I am so mad at them right now. They then had the audacity to take my son out of class today (him and the boy that has been teasing him the most) and took them to the principals office and my son was basically told that if there was any more fighting at school because of this incident that they would both be suspended. WHAT ANYMORE FIGHTING?!?!? My son has never laid a finger on this other child, even though this boy has repetidly pinched, punched, bullied, teased and tortured him. (I would have probably punched his lights out long ago). So as of Monday I have an appointment with the principal, the school counselor and my sons teacher. (Why do I feel this is a 3 against 1 issue here??)
Anyone have any suggestions on how exactly I should handle this... even though I work customer relations all day long, this is different, I'm not sure if I will keep my cool with these people and I dont want to go off on a tangent and alienate myself or my son anymore that already. (there was the issue with the christmas songs last year which just about did him in)
I want them to understand that when I read the story about Tempest that I saw my son. Change the she's to he's and take off one year and it is his life. I don't want to create more waves than he can handle with the school and the people in it but I do want the situation stopped.
I do have a feeling that they single him out because of us being 'different'. (different from WHAT?!?! Just religious differences, big whoop!!)
OK OK OK
enough of my tangent here... but Im sure you can all understand.

[Yvonne Belisle]

I added comments about what happened with the shootings. I think it's important that they see that they could be in the news too. None of these schools planned on these things happening they just turned a blind eye to problems. Some schools are starting to put in policies to stop the teasing and fighting but it is too little too late for those kids. Don't stop at just the principal. Take these issues to the school board as well. This is a serious matter but if we don't shove it down their throats I'm afraid they will decide that those were not the beginings of a dangerous trend.

[bluecat]

I just received word that Tempest Smith's organs went to help 50 people. A little good comes out of even things as this.

Steve