Baptism ...darnit

[Crow Laylancer]

okay im one of the only open pagans in my school and i am the only pagan in my family and my mom wants to get me baptised ...What do i do?

[Élistariel]

if you are open, then simply sit your mom down and explain your beliefs to her. I'm an in the closet pagan, with half my family working in the baptist church. I got out of it. Of course having to go to college may have had a helping hand in the matter. :D I went to church (a cousin was speaking about the war) for the first time in 4 years. I did NOT belong there. I could feel it. :shaker:

[Viseux]

Your over 16 years old. Politely tell Mom no if you don't want to do this. Hopefully, you can explain your reasons to her in an adult manner and she can except them.
Best of Luck!
and better yet...

Blessings,
Viseux

[Crow Laylancer]

i have allready tried to explain to her my beliefs and she just keeps on saying "thou shall honor thy parents" and that i must honor her and her beliefs, but how am i supposed to honor hers when she doesn't respect mine.It doesn't make sence to me that she thinks she can force honor. And if she does try to make me do this i know i will not be able to do what she is trying so hard for me to do, i will not honor ignorance and force nor will i talk to it if it gets out of hand.

[Eldawen]

In my opinion, you can follow a different religious path and still honor your parents, Xtian or not. i've been openly pagan for two years now (I was 16) and my mom is still stumbling over the idea of her baby girl not being a follower of the same god. Give her time, but also do your best to subtly put your foot down.
Best wishes to ya, darlin.

Blessings,
Eldawen

[IvyWitch]

Just explain to her that honoring your mother and father doesn't mean that you have to obey thier every command.

Also, I would talk to the church leader - if you don't want to do it, explain to him or her that this isn't your chosen path and that you don't feel that it's right to "pretend" to make such a commitment and public statement of faith just to please your parents.

[audi]

did u you know that divorse is 'legal' in the cathlic church if it is to pursue the catholic religion. (example: u get married into a family, convert to catholisism but the hustband/ wife doesnt accept this, that catholic church will allow for your divorse to be approved with out an anulment)
therefore... if the church is so stong about you being able to follow your beliefs, maybe your mom will accept that you must do what you think is right.

it wouldnt work for my mom im sure, but hopefully urs is more reasonable. good luck either way. *hugs* _pounce_

[Londubh]

Tell her better to disobey your parents then be a hypocrite to her god.

[Dragonladyofwater]

Tell her better to disobey your parents then be a hypocrite to her god.

Wow very well said.

I agree with talking to a church leader and expressing your reservations, I would also suggest bringing your mother in with you while you talk to the church leader, asking to postpone rather than 'lie' about having faith is another option. Maybe asking to postpone until you feel right about it would help your mother have time to deal with your choices.

[parintachin5`]

Two parts:
1: "Honor your mother and father": The definition of honor is "To show respect for" (dictionary.com: v. def. no. 2).
This means respectfully listening to them and generally doing as they say, at least insofar as regards them directly.

HOWEVER. Part 2: A baptism is, and I am not nor ever have been raised Christian, but from what I understand, a public affirmation and committment to the faith. Now, this is a matter between you and God. Therefore this is something you should explain both to your parents and the priest. It is wrong to lie, and therefore wrong to be baptised unless you honestly are committing to following a Christian path. Now, your mother does not need to agree with this, and when she starts giving you the same line again, tell her you've already spoken to the priest and that she is free to speak with him/her to get his/her beliefs.

It's hard for any parent to see their child rejecting something important to them; many parents take it as a rejection of themselves, not of their principle. Be patient with them. It's hard, and much easier said than done, but really worth a try.

[Gwyndara]

her faith has no authority over you, if your baptized it doesn't change who and what you are.
worst case senario be baptized simply to keep the peace, but let it be known that it's something you despise and that it's a lie and hipocritical, perhaps when told so, she'll back off.

[PoisonIvy]

Dunno what religion your mom is in,but I was raised in a Baptist church. Not a hoopin' hollerin' one either! And it was up to me when and if I wanted to accept the Lord and be baptized. She shouldn't force you to do it,it should be your choice. Just tell her that. Tell her that you haven't been "called" yet,that you don't feel ready,that someday if you decide to be baptized...you really wanna mean it,not just do it for show. And not just to make her happy or so that she will look good to her friends.

[xarimae]

Hmm...I don't know if I would talk to the church leader or have a meeting between the preacher and your mother and you. In my experience, and it probably depends on the church (most churches in southern va where I'm at are very rude to outsiders), they don't really care what you are and the preacher could side with your mother infront of you. That of course depends on the church leader. But it could be a possiblity that he wants to save your soul and you might have to sit through an "intervention." Again it just depends, but personally would tell my mother the absolute truth, and if she still tried to make me do it, I'd just keep not showing up when it was my turn to be baptized!! Hide in the bathroom stalls!! Sneek out the back!! I just figure, hey if she doesn't want to be mature about it and force you to do something that spritually important against your will, fight as hard as you can to resist. I think, even over the disobeying of parents, that its more important to not "pretend" beliefs, this only upsets you and the gods.

Hope that helps, I've been in the boat before.. I won't tell you how many times I've locked myself in my room till they realized I really wouldn't do what they wanted.

[EJ1096]

Hmm...I don't know if I would talk to the church leader or have a meeting between the preacher and your mother and you. In my experience, and it probably depends on the church (most churches in southern va where I'm at are very rude to outsiders), they don't really care what you are and the preacher could side with your mother infront of you. That of course depends on the church leader. But it could be a possiblity that he wants to save your soul and you might have to sit through an "intervention."

I would have to agree with this It would be a good idea if you know the the church leaeder and they are open. other wise you could get ambushed and it may not go the way it should. But dont give up. fight for your belifs.

If all else fails, if you do get baptized, when they put the water on you
yell "AAARRRGGHHHH! IT BURNS IT BURNS!" then run out of the church ranting incohearently and saying the "devils" many names on your way out. (that would be fun) he he he

[Crow Laylancer]

I would have to agree with this It would be a good idea if you know the the church leaeder and they are open. other wise you could get ambushed and it may not go the way it should. But dont give up. fight for your belifs.

If all else fails, if you do get baptized, when they put the water on you
yell "AAARRRGGHHHH! IT BURNS IT BURNS!" then run out of the church ranting incohearently and saying the "devils" many names on your way out. (that would be fun) he he he


lol yes that sounds like something id do but my mother already said if i did shed punch me in the face... I love me mum.but still i would like to talk to their dude because id like to worm my way out of it through her seeing some sort of thing.And this weekend i allready tried talking to her and she went berserk and took away anything that looked resently pagan in my room ....yes she has gain a very unwelcomed title by me

[Élistariel]

her faith has no authority over you, if your baptized it doesn't change who and what you are.
worst case senario be baptized simply to keep the peace, but let it be known that it's something you despise and that it's a lie and hipocritical, perhaps when told so, she'll back off.

Actually it's a big thing. If you are baptized, you aren't and CANNOT be pagan anymore. It means you accept Jesus as your lord and saviour. You WILL go to heaven (or hell). It's not something for anyone to take lightly.

[MorningDove030202]

Yes, tell her you don't want to lie to her god. Tell her that even if you are made to do it, God (Yaway) will know in your heart that you are not a Christian, and that it won't make any difference. If your parents make you lie, how is that setting a good example? You can also mention that Yahway has given everyone free will and that you have every right to use it.

Good luck!
Dove


Tell her better to disobey your parents then be a hypocrite to her god.

[MorningDove030202]

It only means you accept Jesus if you realy ARE accepting Jesus. A ritual (like baptism) isn't going to turn you Christian, or brain wash you. What's in your heart is more important than the ritual. I'm sure it is a big thing to a Christain, but but baptiism isn't casting a spell on you to be Christian. Heck, I was baptised and now I'm Wiccan. I was 4 at the time and I didn't even understand what it meant, and it scared the heck outa me. LOL But it doesn't chainge your heart, only you can chainge your heart.

Dove



Actually it's a big thing. If you are baptized, you aren't and CANNOT be pagan anymore. It means you accept Jesus as your lord and saviour. You WILL go to heaven (or hell). It's not something for anyone to take lightly.

[Crow Laylancer]

i have decided to get baptised on the means that i recognize jesus as my families savior not mine, and i decided sence im a solitary anyways ill just do another initiation under pele and the hawaiian gods and goddesses after it secretly

[MorningDove030202]

i have decided to get baptised on the means that i recognize jesus as my families savior not mine, and i decided sence im a solitary anyways ill just do another initiation under pele and the hawaiian gods and goddesses after it secretly


Another way to see Jesus is as an Ancestor, one of our cultural heros, so to speak, who has influenced us alot. I don't know if that helps or not, but you must do what you think is right. The Godess will love you no mater what, she is not a jelous God. (As I belive something that qualifies as a God can not be Jellous, the two are mutualy exclusive.)

Dove

[EJ1096]

Actually it's a big thing. If you are baptized, you aren't and CANNOT be pagan anymore. It means you accept Jesus as your lord and saviour. You WILL go to heaven (or hell). It's not something for anyone to take lightly.

So being baptized at the age of like 1 or however old I was with out me knowing anything of the world, let alone some guy named Jesus and becaues my catholic parents wanted that ,means I should just give up trying to be what I feel I am and relinquish my spirit to a faith I dont belive in and to a god I Dont feel anything for, just because my parents told some guy to dump water on my head at the age of whatever months. ? :G

[Druchii]

okay im one of the only open pagans in my school and i am the only pagan in my family and my mom wants to get me baptised ...What do i do?


In my honest opinion, it's easier not to rock the boat. I was baptized catholic, went through the confirmation bit, sunday school.... everything. And for a long time it meant nothing to me, because I was angry, didn't understand it, was made to do it, and felt like it was a waste of time. Nowadays,....mmmm, not so much do I think that way. But ritual, rite, symbolism, or whatever means NOTHING if your beliefs are set within you.
I recently gave up wearing any "pagan" type articles. Not for any reason except that I don't need anything to remind me of who I am. God, whatever or whoever he or she may be knows I am down with them, whether they are this or that or whatever...
Sometimes I think we go through life so worried that someone else will squelch our beliefs, that we lose track of the fact that it CAN'T happen... Your mind is your own.
Period.
I was so devastated here recently when a ring of mine that I rarely took off was broken... it had the Eye of Horus represented on it. But I realized that it was only a symbol of him. And not him. I carry him within me everywhere I go, and need no outer requiem to state otherwise. :) Best of luck to you in whatever you decide to do.

[Druchii]

Actually it's a big thing. If you are baptized, you aren't and CANNOT be pagan anymore. It means you accept Jesus as your lord and saviour. You WILL go to heaven (or hell). It's not something for anyone to take lightly.


Atheists would. :)

[IvyWitch]

Actually it's a big thing. If you are baptized, you aren't and CANNOT be pagan anymore. It means you accept Jesus as your lord and saviour. You WILL go to heaven (or hell). It's not something for anyone to take lightly.
According to the Catholics if you're baptised you're still considered a member of the church whether or not you believe. Yes, there are certain sects that believe once you are "saved" you can't undo it, but you're missing an important piece of theology. Being baptised is NOT the act of salvation - accepting Jesus is a personal thing, and you don't HAVE to be baptised in order for this to be complete. Baptism is generally optional but people do it as a symbol of thier faith.

And, just being baptised doesn't mean you get a feww ticket to heaven, and that you can't ever change your religion. I don't know who told you that, but whoever did hasn't been reading thier Bible at all.

[Crow Laylancer]

In my honest opinion, it's easier not to rock the boat. I was baptized catholic, went through the confirmation bit, sunday school.... everything. And for a long time it meant nothing to me, because I was angry, didn't understand it, was made to do it, and felt like it was a waste of time. Nowadays,....mmmm, not so much do I think that way. But ritual, rite, symbolism, or whatever means NOTHING if your beliefs are set within you.
I recently gave up wearing any "pagan" type articles. Not for any reason except that I don't need anything to remind me of who I am. God, whatever or whoever he or she may be knows I am down with them, whether they are this or that or whatever...
Sometimes I think we go through life so worried that someone else will squelch our beliefs, that we lose track of the fact that it CAN'T happen... Your mind is your own.
Period.
I was so devastated here recently when a ring of mine that I rarely took off was broken... it had the Eye of Horus represented on it. But I realized that it was only a symbol of him. And not him. I carry him within me everywhere I go, and need no outer requiem to state otherwise. :) Best of luck to you in whatever you decide to do.

thanks for that bit of realization its helped alot, and i kinda got that from Pele and Io last night they helped me realize that this is just an exercise of the mind and the will which as long as i keep them in mind will not be broken

[AutumnFire]

I was raised Pagan all my life. so were my kids and now my grand kids, so I am not sure if I can be any help. I will try. First, stand by your beliefs. do not cave in to anyone on what you feel is right for yourself. Try taking your mom aside alone, maybe to a quiet restaraunt(where she may hesitate to make a public scene), and explain how much you love her and how special she is to you. tell her all the positive things she has done for you and how much you appreciate her for it. Tell her you appreciate the fact that she raised you to be independant and think for yourself. Explain your beliefs(compare her to the Earth Mother's ggood qualities if it applies and will help the cause), be firm, but gentle and if she still refuses lovingly tell her you will always be there for her, but must live your own life and walk your own path. she may never totally accept it, but in time it will get easier. Blessings

[Druchii]

thanks for that bit of realization its helped alot, and i kinda got that from Pele and Io last night they helped me realize that this is just an exercise of the mind and the will which as long as i keep them in mind will not be broken


It's just life. :) There are times when we just talk to much about a problem and never do anything about it. I am just as guilty of it as the next person. People can say you are being "untrue", that you are on the verge of living a lie...
Whatever.
Only YOU have to look at yourself in the mirror in the morning.
And most people don't really want to do that.
I mean REALLY look deep down in yourself, not some metaphysical Tori Amos, inscense burning, ritualistic, kind of looking...
But, I mean, DEEP inside. Where there are those damn things that if anyone ever understood it could bring tears to your eyes,... you know?
The kind that transcends category, or type, or even worth talking about, because it is soooo damn close to your gut, it gouges your emotions to deal with it?
When that happens, and you see that,... THEN you can see a lot of other things in life, a lot more clearly. :)

[Crow Laylancer]

It's just life. :) There are times when we just talk to much about a problem and never do anything about it. I am just as guilty of it as the next person. People can say you are being "untrue", that you are on the verge of living a lie...
Whatever.
Only YOU have to look at yourself in the mirror in the morning.
And most people don't really want to do that.
I mean REALLY look deep down in yourself, not some metaphysical Tori Amos, inscense burning, ritualistic, kind of looking...
But, I mean, DEEP inside. Where there are those damn things that if anyone ever understood it could bring tears to your eyes,... you know?
The kind that transcends category, or type, or even worth talking about, because it is soooo damn close to your gut, it gouges your emotions to deal with it?
When that happens, and you see that,... THEN you can see a lot of other things in life, a lot more clearly. :)

as i see it your a very wise person and thanks to you and everybody that put thier say in this it was alot of help

[demitri]

Hard decision. I can not tell you whqt to do, but I pray you make choice right for you.