MammaStar
October 7th, 2001, 01:39 AM
I've been feeling a little, well lack of a better word, scatterbrained lately. Lot's of things going through my head. I know most of it is probably my reactions to the whole WTC seeing I live so close to it and all.
But especially for the last few days, I've been thinking about a friend of mine who died 11 years ago. He was a good friend and his death was unexpected & tragic (he was hit by a drunk driver while crossing the road up at college). I loved him dearly, but never really got to tell him when he was alive. I've named my son after him, etc. I used to visit his grave religiously at least 2x a year (his b-day & the anniversary of the accident). Sometimes more, and just sit and talk to him.
Today, I got the urge to go again. Weirdly enough, the date of his passing was Sept. 12, and while I was freaking out about all this destruction last month, sitting at my desk at work, typing the date, caused me to remember it was THAT DAY. I didn't go this year, I like to go alone, well, just cause I do get emotional when I visit. I went today. When I visit I always bring a pink rose. I placed one in his casket at his wake from my garden all those years ago. But this time I added a note to him too.
I found his marker and just fell to the ground in tears. I cried. Hard. for like 5 minutes. Then just started talking to the air, which really, I was talking to him. At one point, I was sitting there. Quiet. Almost like I could hear his responses (i did, at least in my head of what I thought he'd say *shrug*). When I noticed this HUGE, and i mean HUGE flock of crows there. There were like 30 of them all cawing & flying from tree to tree. I've seen crows in small groups before, never like this. It unnerved me for a bit. But then realizing that I associate crows with the Crone & her with passing into Summerland, well it kind of made sense. To me at least. Have any of you experienced something like this before? Was this a freaky thing, or am I just looking into a flock of birds hanging at a cemetary too much?
I gotta admit, after visiting Andrew (his name), I started to feel better. I was hyper the rest of the day. Eschallet thought I was nuts, but he was happy I was goofy for the day. Am I a strange one, or is this common for folks like us?
But especially for the last few days, I've been thinking about a friend of mine who died 11 years ago. He was a good friend and his death was unexpected & tragic (he was hit by a drunk driver while crossing the road up at college). I loved him dearly, but never really got to tell him when he was alive. I've named my son after him, etc. I used to visit his grave religiously at least 2x a year (his b-day & the anniversary of the accident). Sometimes more, and just sit and talk to him.
Today, I got the urge to go again. Weirdly enough, the date of his passing was Sept. 12, and while I was freaking out about all this destruction last month, sitting at my desk at work, typing the date, caused me to remember it was THAT DAY. I didn't go this year, I like to go alone, well, just cause I do get emotional when I visit. I went today. When I visit I always bring a pink rose. I placed one in his casket at his wake from my garden all those years ago. But this time I added a note to him too.
I found his marker and just fell to the ground in tears. I cried. Hard. for like 5 minutes. Then just started talking to the air, which really, I was talking to him. At one point, I was sitting there. Quiet. Almost like I could hear his responses (i did, at least in my head of what I thought he'd say *shrug*). When I noticed this HUGE, and i mean HUGE flock of crows there. There were like 30 of them all cawing & flying from tree to tree. I've seen crows in small groups before, never like this. It unnerved me for a bit. But then realizing that I associate crows with the Crone & her with passing into Summerland, well it kind of made sense. To me at least. Have any of you experienced something like this before? Was this a freaky thing, or am I just looking into a flock of birds hanging at a cemetary too much?
I gotta admit, after visiting Andrew (his name), I started to feel better. I was hyper the rest of the day. Eschallet thought I was nuts, but he was happy I was goofy for the day. Am I a strange one, or is this common for folks like us?