For the Mothers and Crones

[~Macha~]

I was meditating on the whole Maiden, Mother, Crone thing last nite. I am 21 and I have a 7 month old (Vivi!!!). Having a child, does that automatically put me in the category/status of Mother, or am I still a Maiden, in that I am subject to no man? Does Motherhood come with expereince or does it just come with the birth of a child? What is y'alls opinions and experiences?

[Rick]

Guess I'd have to ask... do you feel like a mother? In other words, I'm not sure that such change is marked by an event, or a date on the calendar, but rather by how you perceive the changes in yourself...

[Bec_W]

Rick makes a good point. I don't think giving birth automatically makes you a mother, I also don't think that it's a pre-requisit. I know a few woman who fall into this category and don't have children.

[Jenne]

ITA...it's a stage in life, not necessarily life experiences at this particular point in time, tho those tend to be your best sign of where you MIGHT be...

If that makes any sense, lol.

[Rhianna813]

I think it's a little of "all of the above". Part of the Maiden-Mother-Crone division is that it does follow the natural cycle of a woman's life and honors all aspects. On a purely physical level it follows our horomonal changes related to menstruation. Maiden is either from birth or perhaps first blood. Mother is when you give birth. Crone when you stop bleeding. For many women no one ever stopped to mark these milestones or celebrate the rites of passage.

But in reality not everyone fits the physical aspects of these, especially the Mother part. Some women may never have children or want to. Some may have them early and some late in life. I didn't have a baby until I was 35 but I felt I had transitioned into the Mother aspect before that point.

To me the Maiden aspect is using most of your energy to care for yourself, learn about yourself in the world, and grow as an individual first. The Mother aspect started to come about for me when I felt comfortable in my own skin and began to want to "mother" other aspects of my life. Not smoother them just be a caretaker. This could be a career, a home, a Coven, a marriage, or community involvment.

So I think it's a wonderful idea to acknowledge the physical transition that occurs when you reach one of these milestones. But on the spiritual level only you can really know where you're in the cycle and perhaps the transition is not so clear cut.

Rhianna

[djc114]

I'm 27 and never having kids. I feel I am past the "Madien" stage and even though I don't or won't ever have kids, I feel I am in the "Mother" stage. I also feel I have a teensy weensy like 0.0000001% "Crone" in me too.
I equate the phases with knowledge. The "Crone" part of me is the part that keeps stiving to learn new things and wants to know everything.

[Jolantru]

I often wonder if the Mother and Crone aspects come either with physical/biological maturity or emotional/spiritual maturity.

My experiences seem to tell me diverse different things. For one, I am 29 and I have a little girl. However, to my younger friends, I am regarded as "Mom" but I have a feeling that I am actually more like a "Crone". Indeed, I am there as "den mother", listening to them, offering comfort and advice. So, in this case, I straddle between the "Mother" and "Crone" aspects. I sometimes feel like a Crone.

Yet, when I talk to my older friends who are in the 40s, I feel like a "Maiden". *lol*

So, I agree that the Maiden-Mother-Crone aspects are interchangeable. We are sometimes Maidens. We are sometimes Mothers. We are sometimes Crones. Indeed, I have met younger women who come across as strongly "Crone".


Jolantru

[~Macha~]

I was thinking the same thing with the interchangabilty of the titles... I just wanted to get other people's opinions on what they thought/felt about the whole "title" thing. Because I recall on of the members (I can't remember her name, but a scene from "Pete's Dragon" was her avatar for awhile) had a quote about the joys of cronehood something. So, yeah, I see how they are interchangeable.

[peggarty]

Well I guess I'm at the mother stage still. My kids are growing up - they're in their teens - and I'm in my thirties. I don't feel old enough to be the crone, although, if wisdom comes with age, I'm not sure I'll ever get there. lol. Seriously, I think although I still feel very much the mother, I think that the crone is beginning top make her prescence felt. Just in little ways.

[Romani Vixen]

I think it's mostly mentality. In some respects we are all three... but which one predominates you? I've known women who never had children, but they were still 'Mothers' in that they took care of everyone else.

Why don't you meditate on each of the three forms (I also used to use Warrior in addition for a four-fold goddess). See where they are you and you are they.

I am a maden in that I don't have any children of my womb that I care for, I can also have the mentality of a young woman at times (I'm working on growing up lol). I am Mother in that I care for my animals and friends as a mother. I am Chrone in that I just lost one of my falopian tubes. But over all at this point in my life, I am more Mother than any of the others.

The metaphor of the three-fold Goddess (or four-fold if you choose) is partly about a woman's current place in the reproductive cycle (when talking about the traditions that most Pagan faiths emulate or duplicate, reproduction is essential), but it's also about learning and growing as an individual, and the vital entegration of all of the things that the multi-fold goddess represents.

[Romani Vixen]

I often wonder if the Mother and Crone aspects come either with physical/biological maturity or emotional/spiritual maturity.


Jolantru
In my oppinion, it's both. Of course to be a mother physically you *should* have the emotional and spiritual maturity.

Culture also has an impact. For example, most girls become physically able to bear children between 10 and 15 years old (rough guestimate on my part). 500 years ago, many girls would be getting married and bearing children around that time. They were raised to have the emotional maturity by that age (not that it's that easy, but still...). Our culture has changed so that women start having children between 18 and 30 (again, guestimate), if at all!!! And emotional maturity may or may not go with it (it's a personal petpieve of people having children deliberately without even thinking weither or not they're ready to properly raise a child).

[Lady Jade]

For myself, even though I had children when I was 20, I didn't feel like a mother until I was about 29 or 30. I believe that it's less chronological and more in what you have learned about life and yourself.

[Teresa]

I often wonder if the Mother and Crone aspects come either with physical/biological maturity or emotional/spiritual maturity.

My experiences seem to tell me diverse different things. For one, I am 29 and I have a little girl. However, to my younger friends, I am regarded as "Mom" but I have a feeling that I am actually more like a "Crone". Indeed, I am there as "den mother", listening to them, offering comfort and advice. So, in this case, I straddle between the "Mother" and "Crone" aspects. I sometimes feel like a Crone.

Yet, when I talk to my older friends who are in the 40s, I feel like a "Maiden". *lol*

So, I agree that the Maiden-Mother-Crone aspects are interchangeable. We are sometimes Maidens. We are sometimes Mothers. We are sometimes Crones. Indeed, I have met younger women who come across as strongly "Crone".


Jolantru
I think it comes with the emotional/spiritual maturity and also knowledge and wisdom play key parts.

[chevydevil]

Personally I am 22, but I have felt and acted like a mother to many people in my life since I was 17. I have not yet had any children and won't for a few more years so that I can make my life. However in my heart I'm not waiting because I want to be free, etc. I am waiting because I want to be able to provide the best for any children I might have. Wow.. I sound old again.

[AutumnFire]

Some of it is age, but alot is your own maturity level, both spiritually and physically and alot of it has to be with experience and sometimes not age at all. For instance I know people who are nurturing, caring, compassionate and love to "mother", yet have no kids. I think of them as the mother phase because of that part of their persoanlity. I am an ole 49 year old Crone, but will always be a mother and at times with my mate even still feel like a blushing maiden!I know some who are young in age but Crone in wisdom. So some of it is age, but alot is more to do with personality and who you are. I hope I am not rambling. i just got done working almost 48 hours straight on the apartments..couldna sleep..and now am worn out, so forgive me if I ramble...blessings

[peggarty]

I think women in general, can feel like all three aspects of the Goddess at varying times, depending on what they are doing and who they are with etc. I'm not sure how men are affected though - if at all.

[DragonsChest]

I am definately in the Mother phase, and will be for quite awhile, I feel. My life revolves around caring for others and their requirements. I think I'll feel ready to enter Cronehood when I can relinquish some of my responsibilities to my children, my husband (who I "mother" a lot, as well), my workmates and their problems..., and can focus on myself a bit more. Although I believe we retain vestiges of the Maiden and Mother when we enter the Crone stage -- it's not as if we just turn off a valve and that doesn't come out anymore.

JMHO.