Sothis*Crowfeather
March 19th, 2005, 04:38 PM
You've blessed me so much, helped me so much, given me so much power, and at my most desperate hour you heard my plea yet again. On Thursday I'd had enough, and once again with tears pouring down my face, I looked up to the sky and cried "I don't get it! I am losing everything I've ever loved, everything in my life is a disspointment, is gray and hollow, it's like I don't feel anything!" I felt like cutting myself just to see if I can feel pain at all. "Please, let what I have planned tonight be exatcally what I need to unwind from all this pain and sorrow" and simply put I begged that if you feel I am ready that I meet someone there, someone who would have whatever the qualities I am currently need in someone right now, even if it was just something that only lasted for a few hours and a few kisses.
So I went, and the moment I walked in the club I forgot my troubles, the music was wonderful, I am not to know if you had any part in that, but I feel like thanking some sort circumstance for tailoring the music as if I where DJing. At some point I remembered my plea to you, and imagined someone who was right for me being drawn to me,( of course I didn't imagine someone I'd known or seen) imagined power in ribbions of green(for drawing toward), red and pink (for innocent passion) and silver( repesenting your protection )drawing this someone to me. And within a few minutes I saw him. And perhaps it was my own desperate longing to feel warmth and affection, perhaps it was that burning personal power that my spirit guides tell me I have but have yet to find, perhaps it was your firey magick singing in me but I swollowed my fear and *I* approced him. And in the time span of a few hours he completly turned around my bitter, resentful approch to romance, shattered my fear and childish fears of intamcy, touching, staring into one anothers eyes, and kissing...all while remaining the perfect gentleman. I was unleashed at last from my stifling fears, and I was running with my every impulse. It was if someone has taken my many fantasys and girlish giggles and breathed form, and life into them,then set them before me and freed a part of my soul...much like the way you breathed life into Osiris, although I don't mean to compare my life to something has enormus as that. And finnaly after years and years of desparing that it will never happen to me I was shown what the perfect kiss really is.
I am not sure what type of relationship we will persue, if any at all,if I even really want that, but I will always treasure the night you have given me, this wonderful drugging side of romance that you have shown me,that I thought exsitsted only in dreams, movies and books, and I know it probley sounds silly to be so happy over a making out in a club with an attractive man, but it meant to so much to me... it suddenly brought feeling and happiness, even giddiness back into my life after so much pain. You've shead such light on a part of my life that has been so chaotic.
Thank you Isis, Goddess!
And if inded a realationship is persued I pray you keep me safe (thank also for providing me with such wonderful guardians to watch over me just in case something were to go too far), that I make the right decions, and for overall happiness and joy.
Agian, Thank you Goddess!
So I went, and the moment I walked in the club I forgot my troubles, the music was wonderful, I am not to know if you had any part in that, but I feel like thanking some sort circumstance for tailoring the music as if I where DJing. At some point I remembered my plea to you, and imagined someone who was right for me being drawn to me,( of course I didn't imagine someone I'd known or seen) imagined power in ribbions of green(for drawing toward), red and pink (for innocent passion) and silver( repesenting your protection )drawing this someone to me. And within a few minutes I saw him. And perhaps it was my own desperate longing to feel warmth and affection, perhaps it was that burning personal power that my spirit guides tell me I have but have yet to find, perhaps it was your firey magick singing in me but I swollowed my fear and *I* approced him. And in the time span of a few hours he completly turned around my bitter, resentful approch to romance, shattered my fear and childish fears of intamcy, touching, staring into one anothers eyes, and kissing...all while remaining the perfect gentleman. I was unleashed at last from my stifling fears, and I was running with my every impulse. It was if someone has taken my many fantasys and girlish giggles and breathed form, and life into them,then set them before me and freed a part of my soul...much like the way you breathed life into Osiris, although I don't mean to compare my life to something has enormus as that. And finnaly after years and years of desparing that it will never happen to me I was shown what the perfect kiss really is.
I am not sure what type of relationship we will persue, if any at all,if I even really want that, but I will always treasure the night you have given me, this wonderful drugging side of romance that you have shown me,that I thought exsitsted only in dreams, movies and books, and I know it probley sounds silly to be so happy over a making out in a club with an attractive man, but it meant to so much to me... it suddenly brought feeling and happiness, even giddiness back into my life after so much pain. You've shead such light on a part of my life that has been so chaotic.
Thank you Isis, Goddess!
And if inded a realationship is persued I pray you keep me safe (thank also for providing me with such wonderful guardians to watch over me just in case something were to go too far), that I make the right decions, and for overall happiness and joy.
Agian, Thank you Goddess!