March 22nd, 2005, 02:03 AM
Lately I've been working with the idea of using my neurtransmitters as spirit guides. I've used John Lilly's model of the metaprogrammer and the human brain/body as a model of existence and Barbara Ann Brennan's technique for minitarizing theself into a light that travels through the body (which actually seems to correspond with current research into bio-photons-emissions of light that occur in the human body).
A couple of days ago I did a vision quest and became this light, working on the premise of being a metaprogrammer that could program my brain. I've done this before, programming the brain to delay reuptake of certain neurtransmitters in the synapses. But this time I wanted to meet the spirit of the neurotransmitter Dopamine. When I encountered Dopamine I basically experienced how it was processed through the brain and I was given a symbol to represent dopamine and told to use that symbol to contact it. When I was traveling with the neurotransmitter, I did feel like I was almost in a cave, except it was comprised of the brain.
In anycase this is some of my current experimentation for writing my fourth book on Inner Alchemy.
March 22nd, 2005, 02:03 AM
I took a bath this time. Very hot water, but no oils in the water. In my desire to commune with dopamine, I wanted to avoid attracting any substances that might be similar, but from an outside source. When I got in the water, I focused first on the symbol, channeling my pain from the heat to the symbol, charging it with energy. I then submerged most of myself, including most of my head, just leaving my mouth and nostrils clear of the water. I vibrated the word Dopamine, five times. In the water, the vibrations were much stronger and the word sounded more like a buzz. Oddly enough Maryam thought she heard me hissing the word. I could hear my heart beat, and suddenly I was dancing around my heart. It was a giant fire. And dopamine showed up, appearing like an old trickster man. Smiled at me in an odd kind of way, fish smile, if fishes have smiles. He watches me dance and occasionally I vibrate Dopamine again. Then he takes me to my brain. The drum of the heart is less loud, slower, but Iím still dancing. In the brain we are again in a cave of wrinkled brain. Synapses fire and I can hear noises, tinkling noises mixing with my heart drum. I feel a massive pressure around my head building up, a wave of heat. He tells me I can trigger him, trigger dopamineÖbut he also warns me to be aware of balance. Everything has itís balanceÖpush carefully. So heís there and heís asking me how long Iíll keep my head in the water. Once and a while I feel tempted to pull it out, I do at one point, but then stick my head back in. Iím going for sensory deprivation as much as possible to focus on the internals. Feel the pressure build upÖbalance it, but not too much. I need an edge to start the synapse. Feel my head against the bottom of the tub, but I keep my nostrils above the water. My breaths are slow and deep, my heart drum steady. Then I feel the synapse fire and dopamine is gone, surging through the network to find the receptors, sirens for his chemical soul. He tells me to work with the others as he leaves, but to come back to him as well. I raise my head out of the water and sit in the tub, not really moving. Iím just starting to feel the dopamine hit. I see what I would guess are hallucinations, some swirls in the air, nothing too fantastic. Call Maryam and she helps me get upÖIím feeling rather high at this point. I dry myself off, my skin tingling, my eyes noticing shifts in reality, slight shifts, but ruptures or ripples maybe in reality. As I write this now, I feel high, my brain is suffused with a pleasant white glow. At the beginning my crown chakra was wide open (still is now), but it had green, a spiral of green rising out of it with a bit of gold coming in. Now itís white, but the spiral is still there. The orgone in the air is thicker than usual, or maybe Iím just aware of more. The pleasure is not painful, just a warm glow, suffusing everything, a kind of numbness, but nonetheless a sensorial awareness of that numbness, paradox perhaps? Whatever it is, feels damn good...but Iím well aware of what dopamine saidÖbalance. Iíll come back to him, but I want to work with the other neurotransmitters, keep his advice in mind.
I recommend for the bath tub deprivation working to have someone on hand, just in case. Have the person watch when you do the ritual, so your head doesnít go underwater and you drownÖitís easy to lose yourself in the meditation. Also having a minder on hand, in case of anything else is good common sense. Iíll be trying some other forms of sensory deprivation with these workings. The goal here is to use the deprivation to focus on the internal workings and specifically with the neurotransmitter, so that you can then induce the neurotransmitter to spark, happen, fire, whatever else you want to describe it. Of course sensory excitatory action/overload of sense could be useful as well, so Iíll probably try that to. Iíll detail those workings as I do them. Why is the bath tub sensory deprivation? Okay technically itís not, but itís as close as you get to a sensory deprivation tank, when you donít have one. The water, even really hot, provides a kind of haze for the senses, a numbing of them, so that you focus more inward and less outward. I kept my eyes closed the entire time, and hearing went toward the inner world, tactile sense focused on the heart/lungs/and brain. I also had the bath curtain pulled, so no light coming in. So, for me, it worked as a sensory deprivation device, as best it could and certainly seemed to get me going on the path I wanted.
April 13th, 2005, 08:40 PM
I've continued one with my work in this area, working with Serotonin and Norepinephrine. If any of you would liek to try out the technique please let me know.
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