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View Full Version : A kind of disturbing story that I just wrote



Jolixte
March 23rd, 2005, 04:42 AM
I just wrote this; not too sure where is came from, and it is kind of disturbing. Forgive any grammar errors, it's 3am.

She flipped her house key over her finger and slid it into the lock. Finally she was at home, and she had an entire week to herself while her parents were out on a business trip. She tapped the door open with her foot as she leaned over and grabbed her bag from behind her. Stepping inside, she flipped on the nearest light switch. The living room was quickly illuminated.

Kicking off her shoes to the sideboard she headed to the kitchen for a sandwich, she was famished. The fridge door squeaked open and she stood back and examined the contents. The little light in the fridge died. “Damn” she exclaimed, with possibly too much emphasis for what it was worth, she just liked the word. “Oh well, not my problem” She grabbed some sliced ham and slammed the door behind her. She proceeded to create and then finish off her crudely made ham sandwich while standing at the island in the center of the kitchen. Such a minor detail to be able to stand and eat like that, but she was glad she didn’t have to deal with the formalities her family placed on her while they were there.

Now what to do, she walked back into the living room. A smile appeared on her face as she looked towards the book case. Walking over, she slid down to her knees so she could reach behind the lowest row of books. “Ah hah, they weren’t all that careful in hiding it, were they” Standing back up, she picked up the thick book she had removed, and she sauntered back into the kitchen.

Sitting at the table in the kitchen she opened the book to the first page. A Study of Advanced Anatomy by Charles Brecher, MD gleamed from the paper in professional looking black type. Flipping slowly through the glossy pages, she settled on one that looked intriguing. The muscles of the human forearm and hand shone from the pages. “I wonder” she said to herself, tapping on her lower lip with a black polished nail. She got up and walked to the knife block in the kitchen.

Taking a few minutes she picked out a long serrated blade. Cheerfully she returned to her book. She studied the pictures then picked up the knife and ran the side of it slowly down her forearm. The feeling of the cold steel against her flesh made the grin on her face widen and her hand shock slightly from the excitement. She eyes glanced back at the page. “I don’t suppose it would hurt that much” She went back to staring at the knife still lying against her skin “but I don’t want to have that much of a mess to clean up, do I?” The familiar, calm voice returned to her thoughts, reassuring her to go on with it. “I thought you were going to let me do it alone, what took you so long?”

She picked up the knife that she had temporarily abandoned. Grabbing the handle firmly in her hand she placed the tip at the top of her forearm. She pressed gently then a little harder. The knife broke the skin and tears showed their brief presence in her eyes before they were blinked away. The calm voice came again. “I know I can do this, just give me a bit” she snapped back while removing the knife and setting it next to the book on the table.

She breathed deeply, cracked her neck, and picked up the knife again. The small wound on her arm bled slightly. She returned the knife point to the small wound and breathed in deeply. Down she pushed with the knife, she gasped, but “No” she had to do this. The table cloth under her arm darkened. Slowly she dragged the knife through her skin and muscle towards her wrist. As the pain surged through her and her vision blurred, she snapped back to her senses. Oh gods, what had she done. She yanked the knife out. The world around her clouded and swayed. Frantically she grabbed at the napkins on the table, anything to stop the blood, but it was too late. The clock on the wall struck 3 as her body slipped from the chair onto the hard linoleum. No one was there to see, no one to hear her last faint cry. And the dark pool around her grew.

Jolixte
March 23rd, 2005, 11:22 PM
Any opinions on the first and probably only short story that I'll ever write? Like it? Hate it? Anything?

argento_occhi
March 24th, 2005, 03:00 AM
very well written. Captivating for such a short story. Fascinating. You should keep writing. I can see a gift there. Loved it. Djehuty liked the medical text.

Bright blessings,
argent

Jolixte
March 24th, 2005, 02:05 PM
Thanks :D

Furi
March 29th, 2005, 10:47 AM
Wow....that was good. I was cringing at the end (don't like knives)!

Jolixte
April 16th, 2005, 08:41 PM
I'm glad you liked it.

greenwitch
April 16th, 2005, 11:17 PM
that was really great, bit frightening, but an awesome story all the same. I loved it :fpeek:

skyler
April 17th, 2005, 12:57 AM
That was really good. I could imagine everything perfectly.

Jolixte
October 23rd, 2005, 09:37 PM
*cough*