View Full Version : Gardening FAQ's

Dria El
October 9th, 2001, 06:53 PM
Gardening FAQs

Q: What do you call a grumpy and short-tempered gardener?
A: A Snap Dragon.

Q: What do you call a country where the people drive only pink cars?
A: A pink carnation.

Q: What kind of flowers grow in outer space?
A: Ipomoea alba, Helianthus annuus, Pentas lanceolata, and Cosmos
(Moonflowers, Sunflowers, Star Clusters, Cosmos)

Q: What do you get if you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?
A: A rash of good luck.

Q: Why don't you ever iron a four-leaf clover?
A: You might press your luck.

Q: What do you call a mushroom who buys everyone drinks and is the life of the party?
A: A fun-gi.

Q: What insect is musical?
A: A humbug.

Q: What do you call it when worms take over the world?
A: Global Worming.

Q: Everyone knows how the Green Giant dresses when he works in the field. But when he goes to a corporate board meeting, what does he usually wear?
A: A three peas suit.

October 9th, 2001, 07:20 PM
hehehe :D:D

October 10th, 2001, 04:19 PM

Dria El
October 13th, 2001, 07:31 PM


October 13th, 2001, 07:43 PM
One good joke deserves another ......

Once there was a beautiful woman who loved to work in her
vegetable garden, but no matter what she did, she couldn't get her
tomatoes to ripen. Admiring her neighbor's garden, which had
beautiful, bright-red tomatoes, she went one day and inquired of
him his secret.

"It's really quite simple," the old man explained. "Twice each day,
in the morning and in the evening, I expose myself in front of the
tomatoes and they turn red with embarrassment."

Desperate for the perfect garden, she tried his advice and
proceeded to expose herself to her plants, twice daily. Two weeks
passed and her neighbor stopped by to check her progress. "So," he
asked. "Any luck with the tomatoes?"

"No," she replied excitedly. "But you should see the size of my

There's one good thing about snow, it makes your lawn look as
nice as your neighbor's.

I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the

Top Ten Signs
You Hired the Wrong Kid to Mow Your Lawn

10.He shows up with a pair of nail clippers and a Ziploc bag.

9. On the side of his mower you notice the stenciled silhouettes of
thirteen cats 8. Stops frequently to nap inside the grass-catcher.

7. Always trying to impress you by stopping the mower blades with
his head.

6. You notice him shoving the last of his clothes into the mulcher.

5. He's fascinated by the details of you home security system.

4. Stops every couple of minutes to smoke some clippings.

3. Somehow manages to mow the hood ornament off your Lexus.

2. Turns a goat loose and says he'll be back in three weeks.

1. No toes.

How do "Keep off the grass" signs get where they are?

"My neighbor asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him
of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden."

Q: What do you get when you cross a canary and a lawn mower?
A: Shredded tweet.

Love and Laughter

March 10th, 2002, 03:18 PM
True, this is an old thread, but I thought these were so funny! (Besides, it's not really old to me since I haven't seen this thread before.)

March 12th, 2002, 01:46 AM
~actually seen, by me, today, on a stump in a well-manicured yard~

"I fought the lawn, and the lawn won!"