Is there treatment for cutting? Do You Ever Get Over It?

[Celestion_Bathorie]

What do You Believe?

As you all know, my name is Zara. I am 16, but most people mistake me for 20. (Whatever lets get on topic.) I've been a cutter for almost 10 years now. I've gone through treatment centers, and placements. I was living at my mom's from birth to the age of 11, while moving many times in-between. My mom was a :cheers: as well as a :alol: and a :smoke: . She went through about 15 different boyfriends all at the same time. She use to :rant: and purposely make me :wah2: . Then I moved to my dad's. He was also a :achug: and a :alol: . He was married so it was a little more stable. I was already cutting for 2 years, my mom had no idea, but by the age of 11, I had been arrested twice, and had a girlfriend, and when your gay at 11, your family hates it. I was also into drugs for relief. My dad's you'd think would be better, but it was worse. His wife abused me just as bad as my mother. She found me cutting one day in my room, and tried to choke me to death, while calling me a lesbian bitch. :alol: . After 2 years of living with an alcoholic and a lunatic, I told him if the only way out was death, then I would do it, and I sliced open my throut, and I've been in my group home ever since. I've been through 2 treatment centers, and I'm still a cutter to this day. The pain never goes away.
My story is probably alot like alot of yours. I believe at least 50% of all teens have tried cutting, or at least thought about it. Do you think there's a treatment?

[LadyTrinity]

I used to scrape my arms with a coat hanger until they were severely raw.. Yikes! I dont know if everyone over comes it.. but I did. I got on anti-depressants! :hugz:

[Celestion_Bathorie]

I'm on those, but they don't seem to help, I'm on mood stablizers too, but nothing seems to work. Maybe there's treatment for some, but none for others.

[Spera]

I did stop cutting. What I realized, well for one my freinds all started copy catting, and my love for them first made me stop. And even more than that, it was the emotional pain was never going to fade becasue I was cutting. Cutting doesn't actually do anything. I mean it's a physical manefestation of emotional scars, and it's nice that we can seee them heal. But I learned it was best to talk about my problems and alow myself to open up, find people who really hear me, and give myself a voice. Sometimes when I'm upset I ahve the urge to hurt myself to draw me out of intense emotion. But I'm generally able to stop the reflex. I just have to calmy school myself that cutting doesn't do anythig more than haem my body any good effect is an illusion.

Good luck.

Gods be with you.

[Celestion_Bathorie]

I did stop cutting. What I realized, well for one my freinds all started copy catting, and my love for them first made me stop. And even more than that, it was the emotional pain was never going to fade becasue I was cutting. Cutting doesn't actually do anything. I mean it's a physical manefestation of emotional scars, and it's nice that we can seee them heal. But I learned it was best to talk about my problems and alow myself to open up, find people who really hear me, and give myself a voice. Sometimes when I'm upset I ahve the urge to hurt myself to draw me out of intense emotion. But I'm generally able to stop the reflex. I just have to calmy school myself that cutting doesn't do anythig more than haem my body any good effect is an illusion.

Good luck.

Gods be with you.

My best friend in the house cuts, and I'm trying to stop her, but it seems that neither me nor her can stop. She's 14 and I'm 16, like I said, and we spend every moment together. Even when I had a roommate that was 4 years younger than me, I still did it, that's what scares me, I don't know if I'll ever stop.

[Spera]

It takes patience. And really really wanting to, it also take being concious of what thoughts trigger your cuting response. For me it was feeling like my family couldn't understand me and that I felt so alone and out of place, and when an episode of life would confim that, I would cut. It's not just a bad habit, there is deep hurt where it comes from and in order to get rid of the phyysical addiction you need to fully feel the emotional pain that you distract with the physical. I know I'm not going to make alot of sense.

[Celestion_Bathorie]

It takes patience. And really really wanting to, it also take being concious of what thoughts trigger your cuting response. For me it was feeling like my family couldn't understand me and that I felt so alone and out of place, and when an episode of life would confim that, I would cut. It's not just a bad habit, there is deep hurt where it comes from and in order to get rid of the phyysical addiction you need to fully feel the emotional pain that you distract with the physical. I know I'm not going to make alot of sense.

that's the problem, i can't tell anyone i'm doing it.... :uzi: :nuhuh: :alol: :bat:

[Spera]

Why?

[Celestion_Bathorie]

I'm in a group home, and that treatment center was the worst. I'm claustropaubic, and I hated being in a small room with no contact for 8 weeks...

[Spera]

But you can tell us. I think it would be good for you to be open and direct and honest with us knowing you don't need to hide here.

[Celestion_Bathorie]

But you can tell us. I think it would be good for you to be open and direct and honest with us knowing you don't need to hide here.

right now, I need to get offline....I have class. :bad:

[Spera]

Me too. Stay safe. *hugs*

[Celestion_Bathorie]

*wink* no problem....(yah right)...lol. u 2.

[audi]

i sent ya a pm hun! *hug* :vanish:

[Aconite]

I myself have never cut, tried to burn myself with a very hot piece of metal while in a shop class in school one day, but never cut. However, i know a few people who cut. One i have known since the day i was born and i love her to pieces. Shes probably been doing it for.. oh who knows how long, years and years. And she hates it and tries to stop. And every time its differnt. One time it was because her boyfriend saw it and made her stop becuase he loved her to much, another ytime it was becuase her cat saw her do it and meowed and had a sad look on her face, another time becuase she was soo sick of it, and in the end its all for the same reason. She doesnt want to do it. And its hard. I cant tell you how to stop, but mabey just,try to think of all the good times in life, and imagen what you'd be missing if one day you cutt too deep. I hope that helped.

[Sage Rainsong]

A friend of mine used to cut herself. She eventually stopped but she had to find different ways to cope. There is a hotline in the thread that is full of them. I hope you feel better.

[i_am_serenity16]

I had a lot of problems that are similar to yours Celestion Bathorie and let me tell you quite honestly I know how you feel. I cut myself for 2 years... and still have impulses to do it now. Honestly the only thing that stopped me was becoming addicted to heroine (WHICH I AM NOT SUGGESTING), as sad as that is... also cutting wasn't doing anything for me anymore... I got to a point where no matter how deep or long the cut was I didn't FEEL anything. I still have scars all over my legs and wear pants ALL the time to cover them up (even in the 110 degree weather). I suggest getting as much help as you can... that's what I'm doing now and honestly even though improvements are taking time, they are IMPROVEMENTS and that makes me feel great. If you want it to it WILL get better, you just have to make it happen. NO ONE IS POWERLESS... I've finally learned that. If you ever need to talk pm me, I know what you're going through.

[Mogget]

Things that really do help-

Finding alternative coping mechanisms that satisfy the need that is being filled by cutting. This is KEY. You wouldn't be doing it if you weren't getting something out of it, so you need to replace what you are getting from it with something else that is not destructive.

Really wanting to stop- it wont work if you are only stopping for someone else's sake, or because society says you should. You have to WANT to.

Find a facilitator to deal with the causative issues- a counsellor, someone to talk to, or if you can find a GOOD one an NLP Practitioner to stop you from being triggered, to help you focus on more positive things etc.

Remove/Reduce the triggers- if this means changing who you hang out with and what you do, then that's the price.

Emphasise in your life all the reasons why you DON'T want to cut, and emphasise all the good stuff in life. What you focus your attention on will fill your attention, so put it somewhere construyctive and useful- get involved in something that excites your interests and passions and gets you motivated about your future.

[Mouse]

you'll probly never stop wanting to cut. But hopefully in time you'll be able to resist.

I managed to stop, but occasionally still have relaspses. the huge ugly purple scars on my arms give me a reason not to too because people look at the scars then look at my pentacle and thats the end of it. After that i can never convince them that it isnt a satanic blood ritual..

The other way to deter yourself is if the scars are bad enough you can have them treated to turn them white quicker and stop them being raised-up. The doc burns them with liquid nitrogen and then sticks needles in them with a solution to help them go away. the scars are then taped flat to your skin and when the tape comes off so does a chunk of the scar as well. It is horribly painfull, 100 times worse than anything you'll ever do to yourself, and for me it is something to cling to when i want to cut, it helps me stop, or at least not go so deep.

Someone once told me that you can give up smoking and 10 years later still crave it. I think cutting is much the same.

If you ever want to talk, about this or absolutly anything, feel free to PM me.
*big hugs*

~miriam

[Celestion_Bathorie]

Those are helpful, thanks.

[Spera]

:hugz:

[trippingdaisy]

I was a cutter for six years (and still had the occassional relapse after that). It would be impossible to stop without starting to deal with whats going on inside you. for me, cutting was about feeling so full of intense emotion, that if I didnt let it out, I thought I would die, and I felt that emotion was being released from the wounds, as well as blood. when I was able to stop cutting, I had found another way to let those feelings out- for me that was talking about it. Spera's right- if you honestly dont feel you can tell anyone about it at the moment, you can talk to us. theres something else you can try which might help, though It may sound a bit odd (I think I have said this in another thread, somewhere).... while you are trying to stop, if you really feel the urge to cut, instead, try squeezing ice cubes in your hands. the cold of them does cause some physical pain, but doesnt cause you any scarring, and can give you the temporary release that cutting does. The fact that you have told us about your cutting is good. If you want to talk about why you are doing it, then there is plenty of people here who would be more than willing to help you, myself included. If you didnt want to talk about it publicly on the thread, then use PM's if you want to. :hugz: to you. you're not alone in this, hugbubble.

[~Broken Lily~]

I don't think you ever get over it. I've been a cutter for 7 years now. I'm on a combination of drugs and in therapy. It seems to be helping. i don't do it as much as I used to.

Me cutting myself is just a small part of a big problem. It took me alot of years to realise that.

[wicked_craft]

i have cut since ive been 11.....since i had things wrong in my life i started that....then yah i havent done it since like 2 months im so happy that i dont right now but there r times where i want to do it, but i cant ive stopped for a while n im glad...

[ravenmyst]

I stopped, I found other ways to know I was alive, things to do, to be proud of

[wicked_craft]

same here, in a way godsmack has helped me stop. their words explain to me how life is and how no ones alone.....i lvoe godsmack so much for this, and some of my friends are helping em through it all...so i just want to say if ne one in here still does it hang in there, if u feel that there is no way out you shoould look for the little things. they could be the biggest help of all...i have!

[ajna]

I don't really know how I stopped. I started when I was about 13 and quit about 3-4 years later. Sure you still feel compelled to do it, just like if you have attempted suicide you will think about doing it later as well, but you have the power to stop yourself from cutting.
I think what stopped me was a mixture of things...my boyfriend at the time telling me to stop prompted it, always aching when I moved from all the scabs and new wounds everywhere, trying to keep my parents from finding out, not wanting to be on medication, accidentally influincing my brother (who was not so subtle about his goings ons), and so on. I got really into burning as well which I don't think I ever got over really, but I control it now and I know to go for help when I can't control it. The hardest thing to do was learning how to cry again. I always hated crying, cutting was my way of crying. When I stopped cutting I had to relearn how to cry if even just a little bit. I still haven't relearned how to cry, not even when I'm in physical pain, but I know I am able to and that's more than I had before.
Oh I have ever so much to say about this topic, but I should probably stop here and try not to bore anyone.

[ajna]

I believe at least 50% of all teens have tried cutting, or at least thought about it. Do you think there's a treatment?

(all that writing and I never replied to you personally)
There is no treatment to cutting, though people can quit. Everyone has different reasons to have started to fi there is ever any treatment in the future, it will be different for every individual. The theme that seems to run through all the stories I've heard is that the person feels there is a lack of emotional support (whether real or imagined). You have an extreme history, and I'm sure you're not the only one. The good thing is, that with an extreme history like that, it means that you aren't necessarily chemically imbalanced (yay!), but you do have alot of history you need to share with someone who loves and cares about you and who will be there for you if you need to talk or yell or throw something, etc. instead of falling back on cutting to express your emotions. Treatment centers are great and all, but I know all that was going on in the back of my mind was "Christ, now I have to pay people to listen to me". However finding someone to trust is hard as well...
Wow, I'm really no help am I?
Just try to be as optimistic as you can be, you're stuck in a difficult place at a *#$@! age, and you can always come on here and rant if you need to.

[CrimsonCat]

My Mom, who is a mental health worker, has this CD with a message to those that want to commit suicide. Yes, I know that you're cutting, but it could kill you.

Anyway, starts off talking about killing yourself. It says, "Go ahead. Do it." And you're thinking, WTF?!!! Anyway, it goes on to say that cats and dogs HAVE to live through life. They can't just go jump off of buildings and kill themselves. Then it says that before you kill yourself, think about what you're leaving behind. Then it lists off a number of things. These include: Your family, your friends, kissing someone and feeling that jolt go down your spine, reaching down a boy's pants, and if you're a boy, reaching up a girl's shirt, french fries, chocolate shakes, pop (or soda), ice cream, dogs, cats, boyfriends, girlfriends, movies, music, computer, TV, nature, reading, clothes, bathing, jewelry, Christmas, Birthdays, Halloween, Fourth of July, Easter (hey, you gotta love the candy), fall, summer, spring, winter, Pagan holidays, hobbies, sleeping, stuffed animals, walking, running, eating, learning, talking, Mirado Black Warrior pencils, sitcoms, TV shows, meeting someone, getting married, having kids, and growing old with someone you love.

If you want to risk killing yourself, go ahead. There's just one more french fry for me, one more chocolate shake, one more soda, a cup of melted ice cream, a dog or cat without an owner or friend, one more available boy or girl, one more seat in the movie theater, one less customer for music, goodbye slower internet, one more unread book, one more spot in the sun, one more blouse for someone else to buy, more water, no holidays, no rings, bracelets, necklaces, no seasons, a homeless teddy bear thumbing for a ride on the side of a highway, no more walking, running, eating, learning, talking, no more Mirado Black Warrior pencils (or even Ticonderoga, for that matter), no TV, one more available husband, no kids, and no one.

You think you're alone here?! Let me put it this way, you're going to get one heck of a shocker if you accidently kill yourself. If you don't think that you matter in this world, I'll come over there and slap you right now. Dead or alive. You have a purpose for being here. Search for it. Maybe it's to help out your friend!!! Whatever it may be, it's yours and you should search for it and embrace it. Even now, who knows. Your story might inspire other people not to cut. You could have even saved someone's life. ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!! You could even tell other people, the whole world even, what cutting can do! The only way you'll ever get something done is by doing it yourself. If you are determined enough, you CAN stop. Prove people wrong. Prove that you can do it WITHOUT drugs, WITHOUT counseling, WITHOUT treatment homes. Help your friend. Do it together even!!!! Whatever you do, JUST STOP CUTTING YOURSELF!!!!!!!!
Pave your road. LIVE your life. Don't waste it.