I want to die.

[9-2-2]

I managed to scrape up some cash, get together with some roomies, and get a new apartment. This... it was like a dream come true. I could finally, finally start getting my life back on track again, maybe even get my stepson back.

We have lived here for a week and a half, and we just got our eviction notice. If we do not move out in 14 days, we will get an attorney at our door, and will be forced to pay the rest of the lease (about $10k). Otherwise, we will have 30 days to move out before we're forcefully removed from our home.

Why did we get evicted? My fiance, the man I'm going to marry, was discovered living here. He's a felon, he's not allowed on the lease, not even allowed to set foot on the property. So why did we even move here? Because if we didn't, we'd be living on the streets. It's the only hope I had.

We've got nowhere to crash now. I'm never going to get my stepson back, there's no way out, and I want to die.

[9-2-2]

I've seen there are some views, but no responses. So I'll just flap my blowhole to the empty winds, and ask: "Does anyone need / want a couple of roomies in Wichita, KS?"

[leea silverleaf]

Life is just so hard sometimes. I have walked a very dark road this winter, but with the spring,I am feeling more hope. I know what it feels like to be desperate and alone. I can say that if you hang on, no matter what, you will learn something from this and be able to pass that lesson along. Practically speaking, have you contacted legal aide? Maybe they can offer suggestions. Please, please hold on. minute by minute, if necessary.

[9-2-2]

Thanks for caring. I don't qualify for legal aid of any kind, not even food stamps. I don't qualify for Section 8, welfare, nothing. Otherwise...


We've got nowhere to crash now.

I think my statement speaks for itself. Flat broke, no landing pad, no future, unless we find another roomie... know anyone in Wichita who trusts a felon (who's turned his life around) and an occultist enough to keep us from going homeless?

[CzechWoods]

Thanks for caring. I don't qualify for legal aid of any kind, not even food stamps. I don't qualify for Section 8, welfare, nothing. Otherwise...



I think my statement speaks for itself. Flat broke, no landing pad, no future, unless we find another roomie... know anyone in Wichita who trusts a felon (who's turned his life around) and an occultist enough to keep us from going homeless?

i may sound harsh

not because i dont care. but because i do.

(sorry i am in germany, so no place to offer you just advice)
here goes:

decide what you want.
set priorities

do you want to be unhappy?

i think no. than remove the silly "unofficial bacd luck charm" in your subtitel

i know it is just a tiny step, but take it anyway. how about:
"needing a miracle" or "praying for a miracle" ?

Rick had posted somewhere what to do rune-wise to get a home

If all fails, before you BOTH go to be homeless, get a place to live for ONE of you
once the ladlord trusts you, try get the second under the roof. it can be a way to work

let go of your step-son for now

again, you need setting proiorities although hurtful ones
for now concentrate on one aim only and focus energy on it.

it can only go step by step.

try reprograming your worries (energy drains) into something more sustaining:
try reprograming: i am lost into: i need to be safe

not much else i could offer.

good luck

[Jenne]

I really hope a solution comes along for you soon. Try a college billboard on a campus somewhere--there are usually sublets to be had galore this time of year.

:hugz: and good luck!

[WingedTigerChild]

Wow...that's kind of a stupid reason to get evicted. If he [your fiance] hasn't done anything to the landlord or the property specifically, I'd be rammin' a pole up the landlord's ass. Seriously. I'm pulling for you 9-2-2. :hugz:

[BlackMagicalCat]

Wish I could wave my hand and make your troubles go away,but I cant.Besides,this may be a trying time for you that will benefit you somehow,hardship makes us tough and is used by God to teach and make us and get our attention.So,since im a christian,I will ask the Lord to send help your way and to look upon your situation.Blessings to you.
I agree with tigerchild,it is a stupid reason to get evicted,what goes around,comes around.I hope you find someplace.

[9-2-2]

decide what you want.
set priorities

Why, thank you. I have never heard of the word "priority", apparently, because I've been told, no less than 200 times, to "get my priorities straight" by people who enjoy ignoring the fact that I pull double shifts 3 times a week at my job, and am about to start a second one.

Hold on. Okay. I'm sorry, I just realized that I sounded very rude. CzechWoods, I didn't mean to snap at you, but your speech was the exact kind I've received since high school. Don't get me wrong; I am a very organized person, I adhere to nothing but my priority list. However, regardless of how orderly, prioritized, and ready to go you are, you can NEVER cover factor x: for me, that would be frequent backstabbing, and never having enough time to save up cash because soe jerkoff gets on a power trip and kicks me out for forgetting to take out the trash.


do you want to be unhappy?

i think no. than remove the silly "unofficial bacd luck charm" in your subtitel

I don't want to be unhappy, and I didn't put that subbie there to be unhappy. I put it there as a joke, and I am not stupid and naive enough to think that phrases will crash my life.


Rick had posted somewhere what to do rune-wise to get a home

Magick cannot solve every problem. I've tried that, and haven't succeeded.


If all fails, before you BOTH go to be homeless, get a place to live for ONE of you once the ladlord trusts you, try get the second under the roof. it can be a way to work

I just did that, and I'm getting evicted for it. What we're looking for is a friend in Wichita, or perhaps an MW'er in Wichita who will let us crash for a month. Unless you know of any landlords in the Bible belt who are willing to trust felons, that would be a long shot.


good luck

Thank you for your help. I work hard everyday, and come home to make plans, eat, and sleep. I don't get a lot of enjoyment out of my life, but right now, that's unimportant to me. The only thing that's ever on my mind is getting the job done and doing my best... The only time I have to cry is when I come here.

[audi]

*hugs*

[LadyTrinity]

I don't think any land lords would want a felon in their building.. if it was a past record that he had done time for.. well then the land lord shouldnt have said anything but if he is still wanted or something and there are warrents out for his arrest.. the land lord has every right to do something about it. It is his job to insure that other tenants are safe in their homes :bug:

[9-2-2]

It's all past records, I think about 7 - 8 years ago. He's on probation until '10, but he hasn't any kind of warrant on him.

[Crimson Mage]

"Why did we get evicted? My fiance, the man I'm going to marry, was discovered living here. He's a felon, he's not allowed on the lease, not even allowed to set foot on the property."

This should tell you all you need to know. With all due respect, you knew ahead of time what the rules were, and you chose to break them - then got caught. I dont wish bad tidings on anyone, but if you made the decision to move him in knowing the risks involved and trying to"get around" the rules this landlord set in place and informed you of in advance, you have no cause to be griping about him doing exactly what he said he was going to so under the circumstances. It's all about personal responsibility for your actions, and in this case, as hard as accepting those responsibilities are, you created the situation yourself, and are therefore responsible for it.

[9-2-2]

"Why did we get evicted? My fiance, the man I'm going to marry, was discovered living here. He's a felon, he's not allowed on the lease, not even allowed to set foot on the property."

This should tell you all you need to know. With all due respect, you knew ahead of time what the rules were, and you chose to break them - then got caught. I dont wish bad tidings on anyone, but if you made the decision to move him in knowing the risks involved and trying to"get around" the rules this landlord set in place and informed you of in advance, you have no cause to be griping about him doing exactly what he said he was going to so under the circumstances. It's all about personal responsibility for your actions, and in this case, as hard as accepting those responsibilities are, you created the situation yourself, and are therefore responsible for it.

Thank you for the loving encouragement. I'll invite the rest of you to jump my guns now and try to teach me a lesson.

[Aleannah]

although I don't know anyone in Wichita to help you, I will send energy your way for the best possible solution to your current situation...:hugz:

[Mithrea]

:hugz:

I'm confused. If they want you out because your fiance is a felon, then why will paying the lease let you stay?

[skyler]

:rubhead: I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I wish you the strength to keep going and hope you find some resolution.

[Carickah]

9-2-2,


I understand the situation that you are in. I also understand how hard it looks now. Unfortunately, discrimination against felons on probation, parole or otherwise is not illegal yet. I think your apartment complex manager is a f*cktard. You say you don't qualify for legal aid, why not? Also, many lawyers may be able to do work for you pro bono. It's worth looking into. I will send energy your way. I hope that you can find something.



k

[9-2-2]

:hugz:

I'm confused. If they want you out because your fiance is a felon, then why will paying the lease let you stay?

Paying the lease won't let us stay. If we stay too long, they will make us pay the lease while we still get kicked out. :\

To everyone else... Thank you for your encouragement. It's very hard nowadays to come home from work or wake up to another horrible day to negative attitudes, and people who treat me like a 2 year old, especially at work. u_u It's a long shot, but I will try to get an advance at work and gain the trust of some private landlords. They're risky, but they're all I have.

An old friend from Leavenworth, KS (approx. 160 miles away) came down for a visit, and is helping us out with food.

I know I ask for help a lot, but I want you guys to know, I really want you guys to know, that I work VERY hard and I am about to start my second job on Monday. I work very hard, I don't get a lot of pleasure in life, but when I put my mind to it, when I really focus, I don't let these emotions in my way... I do what I have to, and I play my damned best. Thank you guys so much!!!! :heyalove:

[AutumnWitchie]

Hang in there, girl. I know how hard it can be. Been there. And sometimes, we break rules because we have to/or the rules are asinine. I remember hubby driving on suspended licence because we couldn't pay the fine for a stupid out of date inspection sticker and no exhuast system, and the judge wouldn't drop it. We still had to get to job/take child to doc/buy food/etc and living 18 miles from town it was doubtful we were going to get many rides. Yes, we were "a burden on society" because we were on Medicaid and getting some food stamp assistence. And yes, we've been attacked by the "why don't you just pay the fine" "its your own fault" crowd. Guess what, sometimes things really do happen beyond our control. When you are working a job making $7 an hour and you have rent, car insurance, lights, etc. its hard to save up for anything else. I lived that way for the first 3 years of my son's life. I empathize with you, 9-2-2. Not everyone is capable of empathy.

[9-2-2]

AutumnWitchie, thank you for your heartfelt encouragement. It doesn't do any good to hear criticism as soon as the **** hits the fan. My father does the worst of it, but he's a lot better now.

Don't get me wrong, I do obey the law. However, I do what I have to to survive. I have shoplifted before, after starving for a week with no $$$. I don't do it frequently, and if I can wait out one or two days before acquiring cash, I usually won't do it. I have never pickpocketed or mugged anyone before, but if I were at my wits' end, I would (though mugging is exceptionally dangerous, I'd avoid it where possible). I've driven without insurance to go to work. I have lied on applications and on interviews to get work. I've snuck away lots of chow from previous fast food jobs so that we wouldn't go hungry. If something terribly important has to get done, I will put morals and pride to the background to keep things in from going to hell.

I am completely aware of the consequences of everything I do. I never enter a situation when I am unaware of the consequences, and if things go south, I accept them. I knew that if my SO would have been caught when we moved in here, we would be kicked out. Well, it was this apartment or the streets, and if you're on the streets and on probation, you'll get picked up and thrown in the house downtown. :\

[Lunacie]

Was it just this place that doesn't allow convicted felons to sign a lease? Or is this a city, county, or state law?

[Xenojjin]

It's all past records, I think about 7 - 8 years ago. He's on probation until '10, but he hasn't any kind of warrant on him.

This might give you some weasel room . Its a long shot but you might be able to find a londlord willing to put up with this if you are honest about your situation . The entire reason LL's dont want a felon on their property is mostly insurance issue's and if you can convince him/her that this wont be too big of a risk they might take it under good samaritan values . As I said , this is a longshot totally dependant on luck .

Note - Is it out of the question to move elsewhere ? I live in california and things are getting pretty expensive here so I will be moving to Pheonix Arizona soon . Its in the desert and so it will be extremely hot , but I can withstand it in exchange for the affordability of everthing there . :)

[Lunacie]

Have you checked with these folks about getting a place to live?

Ms. Beth Oaks
Wichita/Sedgwick County CoC
United Way of the Plains
245 N. Water
Wichita, KS 67202
Phone: (316) 267-1321
mailto:boaks@unitedwayplains.org (boaks@unitedwayplains.org)

[ravenmyst]

I am sorry I am not closer, do what you need to to survive, hang in there

[Jenne]

I am sorry I am not closer, do what you need to to survive, hang in there
ITA...hang in there 9-2-2! I'm really hoping for a solution for you soon...:hugz:

[9-2-2]

This might give you some weasel room . Its a long shot but you might be able to find a londlord willing to put up with this if you are honest about your situation . The entire reason LL's dont want a felon on their property is mostly insurance issue's and if you can convince him/her that this wont be too big of a risk they might take it under good samaritan values . As I said , this is a longshot totally dependant on luck .

Note - Is it out of the question to move elsewhere ? I live in california and things are getting pretty expensive here so I will be moving to Pheonix Arizona soon . Its in the desert and so it will be extremely hot , but I can withstand it in exchange for the affordability of everthing there . :)

The problem here isn't insurance. The problem is, once they hear about my SO's background, their brains shut off and they start pissing and moaning without really hearing us out. He has exceptional behaviour (his probation officer will attest to that), and he handles himself better than most of the "normal" idiots I've met. And, because I'm his gf, I must be an "evil", scummy person too. There isn't much logic running around in this freaking state, as you can tell.

I would love to move, but he isn't allowed to leave the CITY. Wichita is the kind of place where you get restrained to city limits for kicking someone's dog (an exxageration, but we have enough judgemental retards here to wallpaper the Taj Mahal).


Have you checked with these folks about getting a place to live?

Ms. Beth Oaks
Wichita/Sedgwick CountyCoC
United Way of the Plains
245 N. Water
Wichita, KS67202
Phone: (316) 267-1321
mailto:boaks@unitedwayplains.org

Actually, I don't know if they cater to felons. But I will give them a shot. :)

[Xenojjin]

delete

[Xenojjin]

I was saying the reason behind why shut off their brains and start acting like idiots even if your SO is a good person . Trust me , most problems like this really do trace back to insuance as insurance companies are not out to help . They are bean counters . I could be wrong , but chances are the company that your Landlord gets his insurance from would increase the amount of money he would have to pay if he openly allowed felons to live there , or worse refuse to cover anything that happened while your SO was staying . ( IC's make bull#### rules like this all the time , you would be surprised at how many things are generally unallowed because of them ) . Thats why they dont give a crap how good of a person your SO is . Your just going to have to find someone that isnt a money grubbing miser.

And thats really retarded that he cant leave the city . Big wtf there . ( you would think that they would want felons to leave eh ? )

good luck to you :)

[9-2-2]

Your just going to have to find someone that isnt a money grubbing miser.

That'll be very tough in a city where the average intelligence equals used toilet paper after a night at the Atomic Burrito. :abanana:

And tougher in a capitalist country.

I've been pulling some scries, using mind control to prevent further damage (i.e., getting gang members away from ourselves, stoppering bill collectors, etc.), trying to turn entropy, screwing events the right direction, etc. It's tough work, and a wonder I can do all that after my job everyday. _handclapp

[wolf]

9-2-2,

Your situation certainly presents some difficulties, but in most states you can't be evicted just for a person being a felon. If your fiance were living with you without being on the lease, that's what makes the eviction possible. His parole/probation can be violated for not having a stable residence, so HE has to take responsibility for himself, while you do so for yourself. You can't fix him, as much as you might want to.

Take things one step at a time.

[Teresa]

Most states have programs that ex felons can go thru to start their lives over and rebuild.Maybe have your BF check out some of these places thur his PO . There has to be someone that will help him obtain a place to live,You just have to go thru the process of searching. I know in NC there was a program called T.A.S.C. They work with people who had records on how to change their way of thinking and helped them find jobs and places to live etc. I am sorry I do not know any thing else but hopefully this can give some kind of direction to look for relief. :hugz:

[9-2-2]

9-2-2,

Your situation certainly presents some difficulties, but in most states you can't be evicted just for a person being a felon. If your fiance were living with you without being on the lease, that's what makes the eviction possible. His parole/probation can be violated for not having a stable residence, so HE has to take responsibility for himself, while you do so for yourself. You can't fix him, as much as you might want to.

Take things one step at a time.

Since when did he need to be "fixed"? o_O

[9-2-2]

Edited, because Czech's post suddenly disappeared.

[rosewoodsea]

i may sound harsh

not because i dont care. but because i do.

(sorry i am in germany, so no place to offer you just advice)
here goes:

decide what you want.
set priorities

do you want to be unhappy?

i think no. than remove the silly "unofficial bacd luck charm" in your subtitel

i know it is just a tiny step, but take it anyway. how about:
"needing a miracle" or "praying for a miracle" ?

Rick had posted somewhere what to do rune-wise to get a home

If all fails, before you BOTH go to be homeless, get a place to live for ONE of you
once the ladlord trusts you, try get the second under the roof. it can be a way to work

let go of your step-son for now

again, you need setting proiorities although hurtful ones
for now concentrate on one aim only and focus energy on it.

it can only go step by step.

try reprograming your worries (energy drains) into something more sustaining:
try reprograming: i am lost into: i need to be safe

not much else i could offer.

good luck Read the Above several more times.... and say that I wrote you the same advise repeatedly~!!!!!~ Renounce the role of victim..be true to your word...skip cheating on the leases...ask Creator for better-ment~ by all that is good and w/holy and wishes for us to succeed I ask that the angels teach you ....personally AND quickly!!!!!!!! Rosewoodsea

[9-2-2]

Well, the first good thing that's happened since all this started... my friend from Leavenworth, KS, will buy us about $10 - 20 worth of groceries since I watched her baby daughter. It's nice to have food. :fpartyfav

[wolf]

If you can't eat, how are you paying for internet access?

[9-2-2]

I'm not. This is my friend's computer. o_O

[ApollaJade]

will your SO EVER be able to leave the city?


anyway
have you heard anything from the one person that Lunacie mentioned?

hang in there..it'll drive you :bug: if it hasn't already...but once it's all over it'll be worth it.

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger"


((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((9-2-2))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Carickah]

I had another thought, it seems almost too simple to have been overlooked, but when you start running out of options, you go back and make sure you've done everything. Has he asked his PO about getting help finding someplace else to live? If the PO is a decent sort, he should at least have a list of resources. And honesty with the PO is always better than him finding out something through the grapevine.

I am sure your bf is a decent fellow, and I won't knock you by standing by his side. I have lived in Wichita before and know what kind of morons there are up there... (had a 1st grade teacher up there try to punish a student for not pronouncing Arkansas her way--Ar-kansas -- when he was trying to pronounce it the right way according to the dictionary -- Ark-an-saw... the principle even called the student's mother... bad move because she was from Arkansas... hehehe)

I am certain that you will get the assistance you need. It may not take the form you are expecting, but watch for it. Good luck and know that you guys are in my thoughts.


k

[Jenne]

I was wondering about that too. Usually they refer you to a halfway house type of thing, that usually has connections as well.

I'm still sending you energies, 9-2-2...:hugz:

[9-2-2]

will your SO EVER be able to leave the city?

anyway
have you heard anything from the one person that Lunacie mentioned?

My SO won't be able to leave the city until his probation is over... after that, we plan on leaving this @#^$%@ state!!! :smash:


I had another thought, it seems almost too simple to have been overlooked, but when you start running out of options, you go back and make sure you've done everything. Has he asked his PO about getting help finding someplace else to live? If the PO is a decent sort, he should at least have a list of resources. And honesty with the PO is always better than him finding out something through the grapevine.

I am certain that you will get the assistance you need. It may not take the form you are expecting, but watch for it. Good luck and know that you guys are in my thoughts.

We're about to go back over everything again (we have until May 15). As to his PO? lol. He thinks that if my SO is having so much trouble getting a job or finding a place to live, he shouldn't have f'ed up in the first place. Peh, that's the typical level of intelligence in this state, enough to be judgemental without helping with the solution. He knows to be 100% honest with him though... I mean, there's no point in not being.

Thank you for your help, guys, and thanks for the energy. I'm starting my second job today, I really hope this pans out... it's a high paying job, but with lots of stress and high expectations. Wish me luck!

[SSanf]

Go to a shelter. Dump the felon. Save enough money to rent the cheapest place you can have a child. Maintain your job. Arrange for state approved child care if it is needed. Get your stepson back and raise that child as you should without all this unneccessary excitement.

Does that mean you won't have everything you want? Yep, sure does.

Does that mean you may need to suck up some personal losses and unhappiness for the well being of someone else? Yep. sure does.

It is called being an adult and a responsible parent.

It is like this. As children we think that it will be great when we are grown and can do what we want to do. That is a childhood fantasy. Most people know that by the time they become parents themselves.

Now is the time to do as you should and not as you please. When did self-sacrifice and putting your children's needs first go out of style, anyway?

If you just cannot do without the companionship and sexual services of the felon, go on a date with him a couple times a week. Let him get his own act together on his own instead of dragging you down and making your child miss the parenting they are entitled to.

When you are both stable you could consider something as old fashioned as, Goddess forbid, a legal marriage.

(Note: When my husband died, I got all the step children as well. I was the only surviving parent of any kind, anywhere for those kids. Did I sacrifice and do without for their well being the same as I did for my own kids? You bet I did! And, I never once brgrudged them the personal cost to myself, either.)

[GEBS]

If you just cannot do without the companionship and sexual services of the felon, go on a date with him a couple times a week.
SSanf, I don't mean to offend you but that was a little harsh. I understand what you're saying. I agree with most of it. I've a family member I said the same thing to but I can't imagine saying such things to someone I know very little about. I have been accused of being too tactful at times though.

9-2-2, I'm confused about your stepson. Is he your partner's child or the child of an ex?

Best of luck to you, 9-2-2.

[wolf]

Ssanf, I think you have the most realistic, best suggestion, presented on this thread.

[Lunacie]

We're about to go back over everything again (we have until May 15). As to his PO? lol. He thinks that if my SO is having so much trouble getting a job or finding a place to live, he shouldn't have f'ed up in the first place. Peh, that's the typical level of intelligence in this state, enough to be judgemental without helping with the solution. He knows to be 100% honest with him though... I mean, there's no point in not being.

Thank you for your help, guys, and thanks for the energy. I'm starting my second job today, I really hope this pans out... it's a high paying job, but with lots of stress and high expectations. Wish me luck!

As a lifelong Kansas resident I've met my share of bozos and losers, but I've also met some interesting and intelligent people. I happen to believe that I'm one of the interesting and intelligent ones. :hmmmmm:

Good luck with the second job. More stress is something you don't really need.


For GreenEyes/BlueSoul: Tyler is the child of her SO and his former mate. 9-2-2 and her SO are engaged but not married yet.

[Carickah]

SSanf and wolf, you two are being quite antagonistic in this thread. The young lady was asking for assistance and knows that the road she has chosen is difficult. She has asked that you not preach to her about her current choices. Yet you persist. I suggest that if you have nothing positive to say, that you butt out.

The young man is trying to make amends for past deeds. Have you not ever made a mistake??? This is the same attitude that keeps our jails and prisons full, because people can't get over the fact that someone can screw up but can pay for his crime... he did his time, dammit!!! now he has been released and is trying to make good on the rest of his life!!!

And this is the same attitude that 9-2-2 is running into in the fine city of Wichita, Kansas. She and her SO are engaged, she loves him, he loves her. They are doing their best to have a life together. We know not the circumstances surrounding his crimes, and frankly, I don't care . Their love is as it should be, unconditional . Is that something that you have forgotten? Now, this thread is for helping hands and hugs. If you wanna heckle someone, I suggest you move elsewhere. Your opinions have been duly noted. Have a nice day!



k

[GEBS]

For GreenEyes/BlueSoul: Tyler is the child of her SO and his former mate. 9-2-2 and her SO are engaged but not married yet.
Thank you for clearing that up for me. The reason I asked is because it was said that she should let him go so that she could get the boy back. I thought that the boy was probably his. I just wanted to make sure I understood correctly.

[Crimson Mage]

It's time for a reality check here folks. I certainly understand wanting to show compassion for another human being, but unfortunately there is a limit to that. I've sat back and been quiet after making a post approx. a week ago and receiving a tersely worded, sarcastic repsonse.
Let's look at the facts here:
#1 We are talking about someone who admittedly has lied to get jobs or housing, stolen from previous jobs, has shoplifted more than once (if its gonna be more than two days till her next check).
#2 She moved her felon SO into a place, and did so knowing she was lying in order to do it. As for her SO and the fact "he has done his time" -- thats simply not true, he has 5 yrs probation to go (2010 by her admission). That adds up to somewhere near 5 years in prison followed by 5 years probation - I dont know what would get you that kind of setnence in Kansas, but here in MA it would have to be pretty serious, especially so if he isnt even allowed to leave the city during the 5 yrs probation.
#3 Everyone this woman seems to come in contact with either is, in her opinion, an "idiot" or has the "relative inelligence of toilet paper". Or, if they fail to listen the the full explanation as to why her SO is a felon, theyre something even worse. Here in Mass its against the city/state ordinances to rent to a convicted felon (mostly public housing projects under city or state management). Due to the ordinances, private landlords are therefore allowed to do the same.
#4 The very first post in this thread speaks of "getting a place, and my stepson back". Now we discover in the post previous to this one, this is not her child, but that of her SO from a previous relationship. They arent married, therefore this is not her stepchild. Now, I live with my SO as well, and her son who has been with me since before he could walk. I treat him as my own, just as I am sure she does the same. Why do I bring this up then? --- simple, its an example of the continuous "half-truths" posted within this thread.
Am I being overly critical here---not in my opinion. Time after time over these last 5 pages of posts different people have brought up valid points and suggestions, only to be met with terse and sarcastic answers from the original poster. She is not in an easy situation to be sure, BUT the facts are the facts, including the facts that brought this situation to a boiling point to begin with -- lying to a landlord, being found out, and getting evicted for it.
Sometimes the helping hand is not the one that gives you the handout, or the crust of bread -- sometimes the biggest helping hand is the one that makes you think about the past wrongs, the Three Fold Law, and spurs you into actions that will break that cycle and finally move you in the right direction.
Thats not an easy statement to type, and it isnt easy to read right now I'm sure. But at the same time, its a drastic situation which in this case means drastic measures must be taken. This post is not out of disrespect in any way, its more about balance. If all this person receives is "hugs" and "good energies", the cycle will never be broken and her woes will never end. I hope that they do, and things make a turn for the better (a BIG turn). In the end though, I am a person who lives everyday by the three Fold Law, and it would be two-faced of me to read these posts and not at least try to bring to light what I see as things that could be much improved with some concentrated effort.

[Carickah]

Crimson Mage,

please look back at the "sarcasm" that has been dished out and I believe that you will note that it has been thrown out to those who have suggested such assinine things as "ditching that felon". Please don't take this the wrong way, but it seems that it is only a defense mechanism. When you get crapped upon enough, you start dishing it right back out. Yes, she has resorted to a lot of things that are not good, however, that is no reason to gas her, line her up in front of a firing squad, put a rope around her neck, lead her to the guillitine, etc. It has been my observation that when someone gives a suggestion that she hasn't tried, she thanks them and then goes and tries it. Somehow, in your week of watching this thread, I guess you've missed that. Oh well. I guess there are some out there who just can't stand to not squat on the people who are trying to make it. I trust you are not one of these and can keep your peice from here on. (-2-2 has heard your rhetoric and it bears not repeating. thank you and good day.



k

[Carickah]

ok, I want to apologize if my tone in the last couple of posts has been a bit on edge, but I just get a little tired of people using the "beat her while she's down" stick over and over again. One person, maybe two, suggesting that maybe she is the cause of her own problems is more than enough. Constantly harping on them is only creating bad blood. Ok, so there has been enough screw up-edness in this thread, how about we start from here out and suggest ways she can get help, instead of telling her how f*cked up she's been. Thanks.


k

[Crimson Mage]

To be honest, I havent missed anything, if you go back far enough, youll see those comments directed at me. I, for one, did not make that kind of comment, and neither did some others.
And, I'm quite offended you'd think I was "squatting on someone", and should "keep my piece" from here on out. The truth is the truth, whether or not its liked or disliked. And, for your information, I'm not out to "gas" anyone -- but can you honestly sit in front of your screen and state anything that I did not quote correctly? I did not make these staments, she did. And sometimes the only love that works is tough love, and someone willing to step up to the plate and say "look, here's what youve done to yourself, and to others --- and you need to change this going forward to make things better for yourself".

[Carickah]

1) I never said you misquoted anyone.

2) You took her statement out of context by disregarding the other part ". So why did we even move here? Because if we didn't, we'd be living on the streets. It's the only hope I had."

3) You came back to kick her while she is down, and that makes me wonder what your motivation was. Simply beating someone to a bloody pulp and then calling it tough love brings to mind the same kinds of things that are called autrocities in war. Ever hear of winning their hearts and minds them burning down their damned huts? That was called tough love, too. Not that I am saying that what your doing is as extreme, mind you, but you seem to want to smear this girls problems right back up in her face. I think that should end. you've made your point. Now, unless you have something to say which is going to immediately help her situation, ie a shelter that they can go to, a landlord who will accept felons released on probation, then get over it and yourself. If you have any more to say, let's take it private or open a thread somewhere other than helping hands and hugs. Respectfully submitted,


Carickah

[9-2-2]

Now, unless you have something to say which is going to immediately help her situation, ie a shelter that they can go to, a landlord who will accept felons released on probation,

That's what I've been looking for in the first place, lol. :)

Wow... I come back, and there's so much hostility here. It makes me wonder if there's as much hostility in other threads on Helping Hands and Hugs? If so, I'm better off getting help from the Catholic Inquisition, because this thread is STARTING TO SOUND LIKE THEM!!! :whatmewor

Let's be civil here. Carickah, thanks for standing up for me, and everyone else, thanks for your help... but let's not turn this into a flame war. I'm not going to name names, because months before, when I did, it only pissed people off, rubbed huge egos, brought excuses to justify rude and assumptive behavior, and got threads closed. If this thread gets closed, I will be VERY pissed off, because there may be MORE people who may have answers or other forms of help. Lunacie was one of many who provided valuable help in this thread so far, and just the thought that at least ONE PERSON other than my SO out there gives a damn helps me go day by day.

Phew. I just wanted to get that off of my chest. I could have been quite honest about how I really felt, but I don't feel like being banned (and perhaps teaching you guys new "words", lol _twohorns_ ). I can be very acidic, spiteful, and cruel simply by babbling for 10 seconds, and that's the same quality that's kept me friendless for years (as well as being different).

I will say right here and now that everyone's suggestions are valid. Not ALL are feasible, but they are valid. There are plenty of reasons I'm not leaving my SO, and here's why:

1) His worth is exponentially greater than the annoyances his background causes. He's a lot older than me, and his experiences in life and on the street have given him a lot of knowledge and wisdom... without him, I would probably have run myself into an early grave years ago. He keeps me from going nuts with fear and worry, and he provides a quality of life that few men have provided me or anyone else. We have beliefs and philosophies that, in all reality, would be considered Satanic, horrible, and stupid in this state I like to call "Jesusland". Get the hint? :) He's already paid for his dues, and he doesn't need to pay again.

2) He is one of my mentors. He is one of my primary spiritual teachers and magickal guides, and has been practicing for 22 years. He and his best friend (my other primary mentor) have both opened my eyes to the greater worlds out there, they've taught me wisdom (without which I'd be a huge f-up), and many new skills and techniques. On the occult basis, it's just STUPID to be a mage alone than to have backup and guidance in a slowly awakening world (and in Jesusland).

3) His quality of humanity is exceptional. Like myself, he believes in doing what you have to in order to survive... because sometimes, that's what you have to do, and there are situations where letting morals and fear of legalities will bring the house of cards crashing down. He prevented me from killing myself long ago, taught me new ways to think, he patiently endures with my horrid stupidities, he puts up with my acidic nature, he selflessly helps others... his qualities are numerous, it's late, and I have work in 5 1/2 hours (this is worth staying up for... and I took a nap already :) )

4) This is the man I'm going to start my family with. Tyler is his son, not mine. I call him my stepson, because "my-SO's-son" or "future stepson" is way too wordy, sounds weird, and he is a stepson to me, in heart, already. My SO wants to settle down, and I want to further myself as an artist and mage. I can do both. I want to come home, and have someone be there for me. I HATE coming home to an empty apartment, or an empty house, and going to sleep with no one to hold. It's not just the sex and the "hi honey, welcome home" crap. This is our FUTURE I'm talking about.


Yeah... I'm just not going to get worked up and do something panicky like begin kicking people to the curb. That' just rash and stupid. I'm no longer suicidal, because I started a second job today, and will at least have more $$$ coming in... the timing is just rotten. So there's another thing looking up.

When it comes to lying and hiding and such, please realize that I don't do it for kicks, and I don't do it on a first resort basis. I do what I have to. If I have to viciously crush retards that get in my way, rejects that try to worsen my life, then I will do it. I was not pampered and raised in a nice world, and I still do not live in one. I fight tooth and nail to protect myself, my SO, and his son, and I do not play nice with folks who think they can dick with us.

There. I don't often do a good job with explaining things, because I don't consider myself having a way with words. Please keep in mind that I'm not the common street thug waiting to jump your kids on their way to school. I'm a pragmatist being run through worse motions, plain and simple. :\

[Crimson Mage]

"When it comes to lying and hiding and such, please realize that I don't do it for kicks, and I don't do it on a first resort basis. I do what I have to. If I have to viciously crush retards that get in my way, rejects that try to worsen my life, then I will do it. I was not pampered and raised in a nice world, and I still do not live in one. I fight tooth and nail to protect myself, my SO, and his son, and I do not play nice with folks who think they can dick with us.
There. I don't often do a good job with explaining things, because I don't consider myself having a way with words. Please keep in mind that I'm not the common street thug waiting to jump your kids on their way to school. I'm a pragmatist being run through worse motions, plain and simple. :\"


Therein lies the key, and my only point is to make you aware those actions lead to repercussions. If you are, then youre making informed decisions, making choices that are yours, and yours alone. Thats the only thing Ive tried to get across here. Just be true to the Three Fold Law, and youll find things improve faster than youve hoped. Not an easy task, but certainly a positive one.

[AutumnWitchie]

Gee, reading some of the replies on this thread makes me glad I didn't ask for help 4 years ago. My hubby lost his job 3 weeks after our son was born. Why? Because he used his company credit card to buy a tank of gas for our POS car and to get formula and baby stuff. No, I did not stock up before my child was born(I can already hear the stupid woman remarks) because I had a high risk pregnancy and was scared. Hubby's contracting company fired him for a policy violation when they had never had a problem before because the company needed to get rid of people because the company was in financial trouble. Did we do wrong? Yes. Was the company unfair? Yes since they had never had a problem when other folks used their cards for taking the spouse out to dinner or buying golf clubs. Would I have done anything I had to in order to take care of my family.....Yes! I was lucky enough to have a great group of pagan friends for support who didn't pass judgement or recriminations. However, my family wasn't like that. I do not have anything to do with my father even now because of his treatment of us. How dare anyone call me or mine "worthless" or tell me to get rid of my hubby. We dug ourselves out over time thanks to friends who encouraged even when they couldn't help. Trust me, harping on about how 9-2-2 has caused this all on her own wouldn't help her at this point. I'm sure dealing with the system is harsh enough. There are a lot of uncaring jerks out there, I've met a few of them. I know about the Jesusland attitude because I live in a small town with a church on every corner. I remember having to get help and it can be humiliating. Some retards thrive on making others feel less than human. Now, feel free to attack me all you want. You'll be giving someone else a break.

[Carickah]

Gee, reading some of the replies on this thread makes me glad I didn't ask for help 4 years ago. My hubby lost his job 3 weeks after our son was born. Why? Because he used his company credit card to buy a tank of gas for our POS car and to get formula and baby stuff. No, I did not stock up before my child was born(I can already hear the stupid woman remarks) because I had a high risk pregnancy and was scared. Hubby's contracting company fired him for a policy violation when they had never had a problem before because the company needed to get rid of people because the company was in financial trouble. Did we do wrong? Yes. Was the company unfair? Yes since they had never had a problem when other folks used their cards for taking the spouse out to dinner or buying golf clubs. Would I have done anything I had to in order to take care of my family.....Yes! I was lucky enough to have a great group of pagan friends for support who didn't pass judgement or recriminations. However, my family wasn't like that. I do not have anything to do with my father even now because of his treatment of us. How dare anyone call me or mine "worthless" or tell me to get rid of my hubby. We dug ourselves out over time thanks to friends who encouraged even when they couldn't help. Trust me, harping on about how 9-2-2 has caused this all on her own wouldn't help her at this point. I'm sure dealing with the system is harsh enough. There are a lot of uncaring jerks out there, I've met a few of them. I know about the Jesusland attitude because I live in a small town with a church on every corner. I remember having to get help and it can be humiliating. Some retards thrive on making others feel less than human. Now, feel free to attack me all you want. You'll be giving someone else a break.

(((Hugz))) and congratulations. And thank you for so exquisitely making my point.


k

[ShadowcatX]

9-2-2 I wish you the best in your situation. I wish I had something more helpful to add.

[9-2-2]

Good f***ing luck has hit.

My SO's dad is getting into real estate. He pulled some strings, and found a retiring homeowner who agreed to put my SO and myself on a lease to rent a house... and she said that once our credit gets good enough, we can buy it from her. :D :D :D

We're moving in tomorrow... man, it's falling apart and nasty, but it's all we have left. It has aluminum siding that's so old it's cracking and chunking off, some windows were blown out, the carpet's torn up, the toilet's cracked, the shower head is knocked off, but some contractors are fixing the damage.

This is great... I'm in such a good mood. She knows my SO's criminal history, but she also knows that he is a good guy. I get paid at the end of the week from my new job, too. I'm not going to rush it, but maybe, someday, we can work toward getting Tyler back after everything gets settled down. :D

I :loveduv: MW!!! :D Thank you to everyone who put forward a helping hand, energy-work, and contact info.

[Jenne]

It's funny (as in weird, not ha-ha) but all along I had this feeling that something like this would happen. *shrug* I didn't say anything (or did I? no, I don't think so...lol) b/c I'm shy about sharing such instincts. But I'm glad that this has come together so well for you. With hard work and dedication, you two will have a home you can be proud of, not just a stop-gap place to stay after you get kicked out!

:hugz: I'm sorry this thread has been so fraught with judgment.

[Penthesilea]

I'm so happy for you! Fixer-uppers can be a lot of work but it can be very rewarding. You will be amazed at the stuff you will learn to do. :thumbsup: :jamsessio :boquet: :ringaroun Happy Dance!

[Lunacie]

WooHoo !

[Carickah]

I am so proud of this!!! It's an outstanding change!!! I know it seems crummy now, but since you have an option to buy, you can really look at it as something your gonna have.



k

[AutumnWitchie]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!! Its just a baby step but baby steps add up! Thats the way we had to dig out, one baby step at a time. I'm so happy for you, 9-2-2.

[Catiana]

I'm glad to hear you've found a place to call your own.

[Yvonne Belisle]

Congratulations on your new home. I think with that many repairs I would sign up for the local freecycle you might get lucky and be able to get some of the things you need to fix it up and anything you get free toward that is one less thing to buy.

[Cinnamon Girl]

Congratulations on your new home. I think with that many repairs I would sign up for the local freecycle you might get lucky and be able to get some of the things you need to fix it up and anything you get free toward that is one less thing to buy.

Yes, congratulations! At least you will be putting money towards something to own, rather than just lining your landlord's pockets.

Freecycle is great - also check out craigslist.com (click on the appropriate city on the right of the main page). It's like a free classifieds site, where you can find a lot of stuff cheap (and even free).

Best of luck to you!

[DreamSpell333]

congrats on your new home! :) Im very happy for you both :hugz:

[Tulip Tree]

I can so relate to living in a fixer-upper because you're poor. ;) When I was 27, after digging myself out of a financial hole, I bought a tiny little house that hadn't been updated since 1940. There wasn't enough electrical power in the wires to run a hairdryer and the octupus furnace still had the optional coal opening.

I couldn't do anything for awhile but just live there because all I could afford to do was pay the mortgage, but it was mine and that made it peaceful. Remember that some things that seem essential in this day and age really aren't. Don't be in a hurry to live in the perfect house, just do what is absolutely needed to not freeze to death or get rained on and enjoy the simple life.

[Lunacie]

Twenty-nine years ago my then-hubby and I bought a fixer-upper wayyyy out in the country in a teeny-tiny town. We bought furniture at yard sales and auctions and thrift stores. For the first year we slept on a mattress on the floor and kept our clothing on an old set of shelves we bought because they were so much cheaper than a dresser. My daughter slept on an old iron army cot for the first dozen years. We spent $10 on an old gas stove that we used for 15 years until it blew up on me one day as I was lighting the oven (not pretty with singed hair and eyebrows :T). Ya know what? That cheap old-fashioned sofa that we tossed a bedspread over was the most comfortable sofa I've had in all the years since then.


The roof leaked the whole time I lived there - 25 years - even after we put a new roof on ourselves with the help of a friend. And the basement flooded every spring.

[AutumnWitchie]

9-2-2, check and see if there is a Habitat For Humanity Restore Warehouse in in your area. Thats a good place to pick up supplies you can use for the house inexpensively. Companies and contractors donate the materials to help fund Habitat houses. You can possibly get cabinatry, countertop material, sheetrock, drywall, shingles, appliances, sometimes even furnature. When the contractor went into the housing on Ft Bragg to renovate, they donated all the working appliances that needed replacing, cabinets, flooring materials, anything reusable to the local Restore Warehouse. There may be one in your area. Ask local contractors if they know of anything like it.

[9-2-2]

Thank you, guys, for all of your care. :)

We're moved in... it's got torn carpeting, a cracked toilet, cracked aluminum siding, a horrible ant infestation, weeds from hell, a front door that doesn't close unless you deadbolt it, and it looks disgusting... but it's home. It's home, and it's safe, and I like it. n_n

We're setting up entropy wards today to kill the ants, just like we did with the fleas. When I get more $$$, I will call the Orkin guy to pitch in... gods, it's so horrible. There's a 15 ft. long mound out back, that is an entire ant colony. They're in the kitchen cupboards, all over the place... by the time we found out, they were in our bread and cereal. >_< Gross. At least they're black ants, and not red ones :foh:

[Kyan's Daddy]

Thank you, guys, for all of your care. :)

We're moved in... it's got torn carpeting, a cracked toilet, cracked aluminum siding, a horrible ant infestation, weeds from hell, a front door that doesn't close unless you deadbolt it, and it looks disgusting... but it's home. It's home, and it's safe, and I like it. n_n

We're setting up entropy wards today to kill the ants, just like we did with the fleas. When I get more $$$, I will call the Orkin guy to pitch in... gods, it's so horrible. There's a 15 ft. long mound out back, that is an entire ant colony. They're in the kitchen cupboards, all over the place... by the time we found out, they were in our bread and cereal. >_< Gross. At least they're black ants, and not red ones :foh:


Put a 10 pound bag of sugar on the other side of the ant hill, away from your house. Everyday, move it a foot farther away. When the predominance of ants have moved to the sugar, get some salt and draw a line parallel to your house in between the ant hill and the house. Ants do not like salt. If they crawl over it anyway, you're not making it thick enough.

[Lunacie]

What do you do when the ant colony is underneath your house? We live in a mobile home and this is the second home where there were ants under the house that moved inside when the weather warmed up.

[9-2-2]

I've set up an appt. with the Orkin man. Last time we queried, he said it'd take $700 to get rid of our flea infestation...

Kyan's Daddy, your idea sounds nice, but the colony is so large that it probably wouldn't be very effective. It's a mound 15 ft. long, 10 ft. wide, and 2 ft. tall (and gods only know how many feet deep). We may have to totally dig up that huge mound, and chem both lawns. :\

Lunacie... that really sucks :( Our house has a foundation, but I don't know what's living underneath.

[Dark-Omen]

9-2-2

so glad to hear that things are now falling into place the way you want them to.

and omg how big an ant hill. i live in north wales in the uk. and wow that has to be the largest ant hill i've heard off.

myself i think id get in a bulldozer and dig it out and send it off to somewhere it can be dumped. then clean up whats left.

but i thought id have a look on the net for you for links about ants and how to deal with them.

so that you don't fall into a trap of getting ripped off. so i hope these help you in some way

1. handy to know what ant it is :)
http://gardening.wsu.edu/library/inse004/inse004.htm

2 loads info here with links
http://www.aboutpestcontrol.com/pestcontrol/pestcontrolants.html
http://lancaster.unl.edu/enviro/pest/factsheets/ANTCONTROL003-97.pdf

3 this one has some handy tips
http://www.csiro.au/index.asp?type=faq&id=Ant+control
http://lancaster.unl.edu/enviro/pest/factsheets/004-97.htm

and lots luck with new job.

[Carickah]

WOW!!! I'd say invest in an anteater, but knowing Wichita, there is probobly an ordnance against it... (<---was a joke, for those of you who didn't get it) I've never seend a colony so large in that area, but it has been a long time since I lived up there. you can bet it's at least 6 ft deep and tunnelled through most if not all of your back yard. It's gonna take professional help to get them under control. While you have the Okin guy out there, you might wanna have him check for termites, too.

I am glad that you guys are safe and dry. May your fortunes shine more brightly and steadily for you from this point forward.




k

[Kyan's Daddy]

I've set up an appt. with the Orkin man. Last time we queried, he said it'd take $700 to get rid of our flea infestation...

Kyan's Daddy, your idea sounds nice, but the colony is so large that it probably wouldn't be very effective. It's a mound 15 ft. long, 10 ft. wide, and 2 ft. tall (and gods only know how many feet deep). We may have to totally dig up that huge mound, and chem both lawns. :\

Lunacie... that really sucks :( Our house has a foundation, but I don't know what's living underneath.


In that case, just soak the hill with diesel. Wait an hour or two, and then hose it down to dilute it so you won't catch fire. Diesel is poison to ants, and fairly cheap... You should be able to soak that entire mound with 2 or 3 gallons.

[Carickah]

In that case, just soak the hill with diesel. Wait an hour or two, and then hose it down to dilute it so you won't catch fire. Diesel is poison to ants, and fairly cheap... You should be able to soak that entire mound with 2 or 3 gallons.

It's worth a try, black ant queens don't typically burrow down as far as fire ants, but I know plenty of farmers who have tried that on fire ant hills with no success, because it doesn't get to the queen.



k

[9-2-2]

In that case, just soak the hill with diesel. Wait an hour or two, and then hose it down to dilute it so you won't catch fire. Diesel is poison to ants, and fairly cheap... You should be able to soak that entire mound with 2 or 3 gallons.

Umm... no offense, but with summer coming, that doesn't sound like a good idea. On top of that, we eventually want to get a garden started, and that stuff might do funny stuff to underground piping, and further, damage the environment. :\

[hawkfire]

wow....... I spent the last 45 minutes reading this! LOL...... I am glad things are getting better for you 922! I am a Kansasian myself (currently residing in VA but trying to move BACK to KS).

Hope things stay this wya for you and fixer uppers take time........ be patient and everything will happen in due time.

[Lunacie]

WOW!!! I'd say invest in an anteater, but knowing Wichita, there is probobly an ordnance against it... (<---was a joke, for those of you who didn't get it) I've never seend a colony so large in that area, but it has been a long time since I lived up there. http://mysticwicks.com/images/smilies/rotflol.gif

[Lunacie]

In that case, just soak the hill with diesel. Wait an hour or two, and then hose it down to dilute it so you won't catch fire. Diesel is poison to ants, and fairly cheap... You should be able to soak that entire mound with 2 or 3 gallons.
I did this with bleach one time, but on a smaller ant hill, and it worked great. But that would also mess up the ground for gardening I'd think.

[Kyan's Daddy]

I did this with bleach one time, but on a smaller ant hill, and it worked great. But that would also mess up the ground for gardening I'd think.

As long as you just wait an hour, then dilute it, you should be fine. Besides, I doubt they are going to plant a garden on the remnants of the ant hill... Odds are, they will have to till the soil etc afterwards to even it out.

[Aleannah]

I'm so glad you have someplace to call your own. At least the challenges you have with the ants, the siding, the toilet, etc. are fixable. I will continue to send energy your way so that you may continue to have a way to fix the problems and have a peaceful life. :hugz:

[Kalika]

:hugz:

I'm sorry hon.

[Laureletsage]

you can NEVER cover factor x: for me, that would be frequent backstabbing, and never having enough time to save up cash because soe jerkoff gets on a power trip and kicks me out for forgetting to take out the trash


In the longterm (after this immediate crisis) it might be helpful for you to re-evaluate why it is that you end up with the kind of person who will kick you out for not taking out the trash. Do you not value yourself enough to be with someone who truly respects you? Are you setting yourself up to be backstabbed by choosing friends you can't trust?

Perhaps you need yo take a little more personal responsibility and look at yourself less as a victim and more as a person who is truly worthy of safety, love and the good things in life.

[Laureletsage]

It's time for a reality check here folks. I certainly understand wanting to show compassion for another human being, but unfortunately there is a limit to that. I've sat back and been quiet after making a post approx. a week ago and receiving a tersely worded, sarcastic repsonse.
Let's look at the facts here:
#1 We are talking about someone who admittedly has lied to get jobs or housing, stolen from previous jobs, has shoplifted more than once (if its gonna be more than two days till her next check).
#2 She moved her felon SO into a place, and did so knowing she was lying in order to do it. As for her SO and the fact "he has done his time" -- thats simply not true, he has 5 yrs probation to go (2010 by her admission). That adds up to somewhere near 5 years in prison followed by 5 years probation - I dont know what would get you that kind of setnence in Kansas, but here in MA it would have to be pretty serious, especially so if he isnt even allowed to leave the city during the 5 yrs probation.
#3 Everyone this woman seems to come in contact with either is, in her opinion, an "idiot" or has the "relative inelligence of toilet paper". Or, if they fail to listen the the full explanation as to why her SO is a felon, theyre something even worse. Here in Mass its against the city/state ordinances to rent to a convicted felon (mostly public housing projects under city or state management). Due to the ordinances, private landlords are therefore allowed to do the same.
#4 The very first post in this thread speaks of "getting a place, and my stepson back". Now we discover in the post previous to this one, this is not her child, but that of her SO from a previous relationship. They arent married, therefore this is not her stepchild. Now, I live with my SO as well, and her son who has been with me since before he could walk. I treat him as my own, just as I am sure she does the same. Why do I bring this up then? --- simple, its an example of the continuous "half-truths" posted within this thread.
Am I being overly critical here---not in my opinion. Time after time over these last 5 pages of posts different people have brought up valid points and suggestions, only to be met with terse and sarcastic answers from the original poster. She is not in an easy situation to be sure, BUT the facts are the facts, including the facts that brought this situation to a boiling point to begin with -- lying to a landlord, being found out, and getting evicted for it.
Sometimes the helping hand is not the one that gives you the handout, or the crust of bread -- sometimes the biggest helping hand is the one that makes you think about the past wrongs, the Three Fold Law, and spurs you into actions that will break that cycle and finally move you in the right direction.
Thats not an easy statement to type, and it isnt easy to read right now I'm sure. But at the same time, its a drastic situation which in this case means drastic measures must be taken. This post is not out of disrespect in any way, its more about balance. If all this person receives is "hugs" and "good energies", the cycle will never be broken and her woes will never end. I hope that they do, and things make a turn for the better (a BIG turn). In the end though, I am a person who lives everyday by the three Fold Law, and it would be two-faced of me to read these posts and not at least try to bring to light what I see as things that could be much improved with some concentrated effort.



well said!!

[Xander67]

I spent 3 months living in a motel for $750 a month!

Why? Because I did not save my money for a rainy day, and had no plans for my future..

When in March, all of my things went into storage, well some of them, most of it either got trashed or given away (things that can be replaced)

I was collecting UnEmployment due to being laid off after Christmas,

I had been takeing care of things at my grandmother's house, and helping her.. from sept of 2003 till march of this year. I knew the day would come when I would have to move out so the contractors could do the renovations, to fix the house up for sale.... That day came much sooner than I had expected and scince I had nothing saved for a rainy day, things got stressfull...

it was at that moment, One check shy of being homeless, I started to think about my future...

the reason I say you have to have a plan for your future and save for a rainy day is because it is nice to know where you are going in life, and it is also alot less stressfull if you save for a rainy day...

I started working at the mall in April of this month, and in May, I moved into my new apartment...
IT is now june, I have a little saved for a rainy day now... and I am also planning ahead..

I have goals, and a set of things to accomplish to help me be able to attain my goal..

922. I am very sorry to hear about what happend... I hope everything works out with you guys..

:hugz: