Need a lil help.

[innocent]

I can't do this. I just punched myself till i was numb, scalded myself, tried to drown myself, made myself throw up, tried to cut myself but i couldn't do it because i promised my sister, used a lighter on my hand then finally turned a stove on high and burnt myself that way. all because I couldn't cry. i'm in therapy and on anti-depressants but this doesn't stop me. I dunno who to turn to, so i pick this board.

[merlo]

Well, we're here. Defining the problem is the first step to solving it. Can't cry? erm..I held some tears in once and it DID suck. Don't quite know what else to say to ya..except we're here!!!

[ravenmyst]

damaging yourself wont make you cry, stop that! Antidepressants tend to deaden you a bit, why do you want to cry anyway?

[ajna]

maybe it's just something about tonight...
I started cutting again too and I can't seem to do enough to deaden the feeling or lack thereof. If the anti-depressants don't work, what is supposed to keep us going? I wish I could just take the bottle and fix it.
I wish I could say something to help you, but I seem to be in the exact same boat.

[merlo]

:thumbsup: :hugz: :uhhuhuh: Yea, think so, I'm in a tissy at the moment too! Hang in there Innocent!!

[ravenmyst]

write, draw, listen to loud music, carve wood instead of your body, walk outside and stare at the moon, which is almost full, I was a cutter, I was destructive, I am not talking out of my a** here, there are other less damaging ways to release this. This too shall pass, if you let it

[treefae]

something has to make you very happy first then have it come crashing down that's what usually makes me cry.

[Angelus_Errare]

A LOT of help actually. Trying to kill yourself, along with other self-injurious behaviors attached to it, needs immediate attention. I know, because I have been there, done that. You really need to get in touch with someone that can help you, if no one at home, a hotline or something by phone.

[ravenmyst]

yeah that works! I no longer have a problem crying, but I used to cut to see if I could feel anything, landed me in the loony bin, learned other ways to feel. I spent most of the day finding soothing spots to try to chill out so yeah the full moon is coming or something.

[ravenmyst]

yep, if you cant stop this, you need to get someone with you as soon as possible. you are aware of your family history.

[Angelus_Errare]

I can't do this. I just punched myself till i was numb, scalded myself, tried to drown myself, made myself throw up, tried to cut myself but i couldn't do it because i promised my sister, used a lighter on my hand then finally turned a stove on high and burnt myself that way. all because I couldn't cry. i'm in therapy and on anti-depressants but this doesn't stop me. I dunno who to turn to, so i pick this board.
If she is already trying to drown herself, she needs help NOW. That is a suicide attempt. And those need to be stopped before they occur.

[ravenmyst]

I know. She knows, just went through this with her sister, she knows she needs to get help, just hoping to give her something else till she makes herself get help, not like I could track her down and haul her off to the docs, now is it

[ravenmyst]

I do wish she would reply again though, want to know she is still here

[Angelus_Errare]

I know. She knows, just went through this with her sister, she knows she needs to get help, just hoping to give her something else till she makes herself get help, not like I could track her down and haul her off to the docs, now is it
Relax. I was not "attacking" you. Reading or hearing things like her original post concerns me. Mainly because I went through it myself, and know how serious this can be, as do other people. Sometimes, people need to be pushed to get help, and really I did all that I could here.

[ravenmyst]

I know, been through it too. been awhile, but one doesnt forget. Very frustrating trying to help through a computer, cant really even convey tone of voice. Like I said, hope she responds soon, some good advice here, hope she does what she knows is right. peace

[ravenmyst]

well innocent, if you come back and still want to talk there is a depression support thread in the health and beauty section, they will probably know what to say, hope you are ok, and get back to your doc soon, maybe the antidepressants you are on now arent the right ones for you, there are alot of options these days, sometimes you gotta try out a few to see which fits you. Hang in there ok?

[innocent]

I'm still here. I feel like such an idiot. I actually canceled an appointment with a therapist. In a way i wish someone would just Drag me off, but the only one who can help me is myself right now. Lord knows my sister is trying, but still.

[innocent]

I feel a little better, even though i left the house today, which i'm not supposed to do.

[ravenmyst]

glad you are feeling better, why arent you to leave the house though? It helps to change you r atmosphere

[Tabby]

I feel a little better, even though i left the house today, which i'm not supposed to do.

*hugs* I am glad you are feeling a little better. Where are you located?

[innocent]

I am not allowed to leave the house because I am very sick at the moment. The doctors thought it was gallbladder disease at first but now they don't know what it is. I have had tests and appointments all day this week except for today, and I disobeyed and went to my classes today. I am physically worse, but mentally better. I am so stressed out right now, dealing woth my sister, my regular diseases then this new thing on top of it, opne of my friends forgetting to order her " happy pills" so i'm worried how she will be over the weekend, realizing I broke my golden rule and fell in love only to have him love another girl, letting several people down because i cannpt preform at my concert tomorrow, I might have to resign from the one thing I truly love, and then trying to decide how to deal with my destructive phases like I posted about here. Well atleast I don't have ulcers or I probably would have bled to death. I feel so selfish ranting like this, but I know it is probably better for me to get it off my chest then bottle it up and start cutting again.

I really appreciate everyones help,
Innocent.

Oh yes, Tabby, I live in a small town known for its corn fields and meth labs in the US. We have virtually nothing to do around here but hold rave parties which I blatantly refuse to attend, so I am even more of an outsider.

[Kronah]

i think i can help,

you want to cry, thats easy

and im serious about this if you do what i tell you to do, it will work

consider this, my last helping

you'll be amazed, that a glass of water can be more damaging to your soul
than any amount of bodily injury

pm me if interested

[ravenmyst]

just deal with stuff in as small of amounts as possible, it is easier than staring at a big mass of trouble. And you can pm me if you need to talk

[Tabby]

*hugs* Sounds like I might have lived in that small town when I was younger. I agree, you need to prioritize your issues..see what needs to be dealt with first and work your way down. If you want to talk..I will add my offer to the rest. I would love to talk if you want to..