in need of advice...

[star_childe]

Im in need of some help. Ive been stewing on this problem for months, and this week my tarot told me to seek advice, so thats what i'm doing.

I was friends with this man, who i shall call Peter. Peter was capable of being kind, selfless and generous.
My fiance was also friends with this man, as we both knew him before we met each other. Peter had a beautiful wife and two children. This was his second marriage as he is quite incapable of managing on his own due to low self esteem, fear, and depression. In the time that i knew him before I met my fiance ( I was about 20), Peter occasionally fantasised that him and myself were lovers in a former life, and that i would astral travel at night and have sex with him- obviously wish-fulfilment dreams, as that never happened. He only mentioned this rarely, as i would leave the room. Peter is more than twice my age, and has been aquainted with myself and my parents since i was a small child.

Peter was suicidally depressed, paranoid, with major mood swings, (but refused to take anti-depressants) an emotional manipulator, capable of energy vampirism.
He has psychic abilities but refuses to develop them out of fear that he will become addicted to power and become evil, but he liked to "play" magician, "play" with other people's energy, with no thought to the other people or consequences. After a couple of years of this "friendship"- which i continued as i liked his family and wanted to help him-Peter introduced me to the man who would become my fiance. When we fell in love, Peter sulked and became convinced that his wife was having an affair. He put up a front towards me and my partner but we both knew that he was jealous. On various occasions he has told me that i dont belong with my fiance, that we are not meant to be together, and credits his psychic ability.

A little while later, his wife left him and took the kids. He became suicidal and we helped him to get through the first week. (as he has no other friends) After that he started making comments like, if this was another time, he would challenge my fiance to a duel (with me as the prize), and we withdrew from the close friendship, moved to another town, and only saw him occasionally. Whenever we saw him, he would glare at my fiance and/ or ignore him. Approximately 6 weeks after his wife (of more than 10 years) left him, he met another woman . Normally this would have been a good thing but this woman is very negative and a witchy friend told me that her energy is even worse than his is. Also myself and mutual friends believe she is only after a father for her children. Approximately 3 months later he announced their engagement.
He has been spreading negativity throughout my home town ever since. I believe he didnt grieve for the end of his marriage and i cant help feeling compassion for him, although he is definitely not helping himself.
We stopped communicating with Peter 6 months ago and havent seen him since.

Now, what has brought this all to a head is that i am getting married this year. I come from a small town, Peter and his lady live there too. The wedding is there- through word of mouth, he is certain to hear about the details to the wedding too (date, time, place, etc) even though he is NOT invited. I cant see the fact that he is now with a woman will hold him back from continuing to cause strife.(it never has before.)
Im terrified he will turn up and cause problems- vebally or physically, and my fiance is very concerned too. In fact my fiance wants to get a restraining order. The wedding is outdoors so its not like we can lock him out.

I would like advice, please.

[Philbo]

Perhaps you should invite him to the wedding ("WHAT??")
And with the invitation, include a long letter explaining lots of things, such as how you'd like him to behave at the wedding, your current feelings, the way you drifted apart, etc. This would have to be a rather long letter, as there will probably be a lot on your mind that need to be said. My advice is to make him feel like you still care for him, even to the point of shouldering some of the blame for the way things didn't work out between the two of you. Let him feel understood (which he rarely seems to feel, by the sounds of things) and try to soften him as much as you can. You may not have your heart truly set on this, but perhaps it will give him enough to think about so that he won't feel disruptive during your wedding. It's possible that this could backfire and make things worse, so if you give this a try, you'll probably need to tread very carefully. It might be worth a shot.

[AlAskendir]

I'm terrified he will turn up and cause problems- vebally or physically, and my fiance is very concerned too. In fact my fiance wants to get a restraining order. The wedding is outdoors so its not like we can lock him out.

I would like advice, please.


1) get the restraining order (it does not concern public or private places, but a certain distance (I think like 50') from either you or your fiance or both (as named in the order);

2) trust that this person is most likely very consistent, and so the people whom he has affected with his words and energies in the past know how reliable his current words and energies concerning you and your mate and your wedding are or will be;

3) figure out some way to bless this person in such a way that you never need interact with him again - - - perhaps with a job at triple his normal salary that requires relocation? - - - and do a work;

4) do another work/ prayer that will keep anything negative from happening at the ceremony....

[Kalika]

Well... I don't suggest this very often, but...

It sounds like a binding may be in order in this instance.

He may need to have his destructive nature towards you and your fiance bound away so that he does not show up at your wedding and cause a scene.

Also, you may try casting a circle, or doing a ritual in the place where you are having the wedding... to help prevent negativity and that sort of thing.

I agree - get a restraining order. Reasonable doubt as to what this man will do should be enough reason to get one.

:hugz:

I'm sorry that you have to deal w/ this right now, at what should be one of the happiest times of your life.

I hope that everything works out as it should.

Blessings,

Kalika

[FlyingBear]

Good Gods, get a restrainting order. People like your energy sucking, woe is me, I am darker than thou, drama queen really bug the hell out of me. I lived in a house with a couple of people like that, so I really feel for you. I find that, for me, being direct and extremely clear work best for people like that. But yeh, be prepared just in case.

A duel? You as the prize? :rolleyes: Gimme a freaking break.....

[Jena]

I agree, get the restraining order. And get some of your strong cousins or someone in your family, to keep him away in case he shows up, even with the retraining order he may still attempt to see you, or may not at all, and please do all the magic you need and can to keep him away from your precious day!
Jena xox

[Jenne]

I was gonna say--sounds like you need 1) restraining order and 2) a good beefy bouncer at the door!

:hugz: and good luck!

[BlackMagicalCat]

Your situation sounds dangerous,please be carefull,if you want someone to leave you alone,and they dont,get mean,Leave me the hell alone,or else.

Nobody should bother or harrass anyone,dont tolerate this type of behavior,do what you must to protect yourself.

[Darkdale]

Have someone call the police when he arrives. Dangerous people cannot be trusted or tolerated. Please, be very careful.

[QUEEN OF THE DAMNED]

I agree with the restraining order and binding spell.
Congratulations and best wishes for your upcoming wedding, I hope it is a bright and beautiful day full of love and hope for a new beginning.
Keep us updated, what is the date? We could all focus on protecting you that day....maybe...just a suggestion.