Parents of Other Children

[Twilight Garden]

My (future) step-daughter has finally begun to make some really solid friends at school. How do you deal with the parents of your children's friends? Not in the social aspect, but the little "signs" around the house that hint to your non-mainstream religion. I haven't had to deal with this until today. This is the first time she's had a friend from school over. Am I being paranoid? Will it probably not end up being an issue? What are your thoughts or experiences? I've always been very open about it. I can't really hide anything.
Concerned
*LM

[Xander67]

I think that the best way to deal with it, is to be Proud of who you are and not ashamed of it.... if the other adults see how you are happy with it, and see that is is a part of your life, they are more than likely to ask questions... perhaps they may be curious as well?

be proud of who you are... if they see that you are open they will gove a more positive reaction ...if they see that you feel that you have to hide it, then that would raise a red flag and could be a big mess. IM not saying go overboard and wave a big black hat in the air, but dont hide it either, Pagan religion is just as mainstream as any other, and the other religions are getting attacted too by the way.. if you present them with a good representation of it, it will be good for all.

[Yvonne Belisle]

They will find out anyway in time with kids. They always do it can be as simple as a kid blirting something out when they are talking about yours to telling the parent outright. Don't try to hide it the more you try to hide the more they will think you have to hide. Just relax about it at worst the parents will forbid thier kid to play with yours but if it's a real friend they are going to still be friends in school if they aren't then it's someone who would have turned on your child anyway.

[Twilight Garden]

Thanks for the thoughts. I appreciate it. What you have said makes sense. Thank you.

[emraldshadowcat]

well, I would say don't worry about it (and you really shouldn't) but my boyfriend's parents think that I am satan-incarnate. I gave him an anhk to wear (which is the ancient egyptian symbol of life) and they made him get rid of it because they thought it was a sign of the devil! Hopefully you won't have to deal with as many closed minded people that I have to deal with!!! I hope things go good for you!

[seawitch]

i have came across this, my mother in law stayed with me a couple nights , when my husband was in the hospital. and then told me all my stuff was devil stuff. i tried reasoning with her than gave up. she tried blaming me for barry's regular relapses for a while. saying she thought i was possessed by the devil! "not to offend but i think you're possessed " we have come to an agreement we visit at her house.
about kids and their moms, some have been curious but none freaked thank goddess
veronica is 11 and she tells me all the girls think i am cool which makes me chuckle :T

[StormChaser]

When i was a kid, in a really christian town, the signs around the house.. the nude goddess hand carved statue *about 14 inches high*.. nybor drawings and pentagrams everywhere.. kept a lot of parents away.. and their kids.

I personally wouldn't leave naked art out because the last thing i'd want is some corruption of a minor charge when a parent starts looking for someone to blame for the fact that their child is asking questions about gender and sex.

The pentacles and what not. Be discreet but don't lie to kids other than your own. Explain to your own children that the reason you arent going into detail is because religion is something for the other childs parents to explain to them and for the other child to come to conclusions on their own.

[Twilight Garden]

Very good advice StormChaser. I don't have any nudity or pentagrams around. Well I do in my bedroom, but that is an off-limits area anyway. Most are probably signs that only other witches would recognize anyway. I finally looked around the house with a more mundane (muggle) mind. I think I've decorated it with a very good amount of versatility. :cool:

[TheTheologin]

I really haven't run into any problems with my daughters friends because they're only 3. But I have run into problems with Pat's (BF's) Family. Storm chaser know's who I'm talking about. BTW GIRL...............Have you been on AIM lately. But anyhoo. StormChaser has some good advice I'll have to remember it in another 5-10 years LOL

[Ceres]

This is a good topic! My daughter was letting her friends look at my copy of The Witch's Bible a few years ago and I nearly choked! :lol: We had to have a talk about how others perceive all things pagan. I have no idea if that kid told her parents about it or not....Now she is 12 and her friends arent interested in MY books, they want to read Silver RavenWolf *sigh*
I do worry sometimes that my choice of a religion may give my children trouble with friends, but so far we just try to walk a fine line. Dont ask dont tell sort of thing. I know the frequency of general religious discussion differs from place to place, but here its one of those topics people avoid unless you know eachother very well.

[pawnman]

My (future) step-daughter has finally begun to make some really solid friends at school. How do you deal with the parents of your children's friends? Not in the social aspect, but the little "signs" around the house that hint to your non-mainstream religion. I haven't had to deal with this until today. This is the first time she's had a friend from school over. Am I being paranoid? Will it probably not end up being an issue? What are your thoughts or experiences? I've always been very open about it. I can't really hide anything.
Concerned
*LM

We just leave our stuff out. We don't say anything if our guests don't say anything.

[Holly Ariadna]

You know, I think religion should be something personal. If you want to have some religious things around, that's great, just maybe make sure that you don't have too many or that they are a bit discreet or something like that. Then just don't mention it unless people ask.

[MalPixie]

We just leave our stuff out. We don't say anything if our guests don't say anything.
Yeah thats what we do and if someone does say something then we talk but only if someone brings it up seems to work just fine!

[DreamSpell333]

I havent had issues with parents yet,since hannah is only 3. She has had a little girl over with her mother. But we live with my mother in law,and our stuff is mainly in our bedroom. Hannah does have a goddess doll and pentacle pillow, so if she were to show the litle girl or her mother. I would be honest,and proud of who i am. Hannah was concieved on yule,so she is very special to us. She seems to just KNOW stuff from time to time too. She TOLD me i was pregnant, before i even was late .. So if she decides to become pagan when she's older,that will be great and i will tell her to be proud of who she is. I only explain it to people,who ask. if their not really questioning me,then i dont tell. it's sometimes better that way. The people that i thought would be hateful towards me, turned out being the ones who accepted it. My parents,my husbands parents,friends and siblings,all accept who we are. :) My mother in law was the last to be told,and when i told her,she said cool (she's catholic), and told me that she had a friend who was also.. Now that were living in the bible belt area, im especially careful who i bring it up with,but so far i havent had any problems. :)