potental problem with some one in a public pagan fourum

[bbnflpn]

i hope that i have posted this in the right area, if not then please move it to where it needs to be.
here is the problem that our local pagan gathering is having...
we have a bi-monthly gathering in our area that is a public forum where the local pagan community gathers to talk about local issues and to well talk. only thing is that there is one of our memebers is alittle how can i say this nicely, out there in space (literaly) he has some extremest views on some things (totaly possible things mind you) but... he tends to dominate the conversation with these views and not every one wants to hear these things. they have to deal with aliens beeing the lord and lady. that is not the problem. when ever we talk to him about these things he never listens to what we have to say about maybe holding back his conversations reguarding this. he has made some idle threats (and i cant say weather or not he would act on them or not but to this date he has never done any thing violent torwards any one in the group.) it is the opinion of some of the more intuitve people in our group that he can potentialy be volitile and go postal. these people no longer attend the groups for that reason alone. since this is a public fourm (in person mind you) we can not keep him from comming to these meet ups. i use to be the co-coordinator of this group and i have said that if ever did make a serieous threat that i would have the police involved.

does any one have any ideas on how we can talk to this person to have him understand that his behavior has been damageing to our group. i cannot say how many people have left this group because of him specificly. we have tried to reason with him, on many differnt levels. and there is still no change in the way he goes about things. i guess one of the options i have is to let him stay with the group untill he does something real damaging. he is also a very sensitve person and i am afraid that even though no matter how we go about this his feelings will be hurt, over the last year he has imporved alittle bit by letting us talk abot the issues and trying to listen to what we have to say but soon after his regular behavior returns.

my personal opinion is that he has some mental defect that should be treated maybe aadd. he is a self proclaimed indigo child and what i have read about them he seems to mildy fit that description. he also is against taking any medications for any reason (if infact he needs to be seen by a psychiatrist.

any ideas on how to handle this proble would be much appreciated not only by me but the otherpeople in this group.

thank you

[Lady RedHawk]

Personal opinion, you DO have the right to ask him to leave. You say you have done everything you know to be polite and take care of the situation without a scene. Well, now it is time to make a scene. Tell him he will no longer be welcome if he can not respect others. If he gets up set, so be it. If he causes trouble, call the police. It is not your responsibility to be a doctor and a baby-sitter. Public meeting does not mean the whole world is allowed if they can not behave in a civilized manner.

[-Ember]

Ditto to above. Sometimes you do have to put your foot down. Tolerance and acceptance does not have to mean permissiveness... he can go do things on his own time.

But be sure to not do it alone... from the sound of it, you will want wittnessess close (but not involved. Like a table over.) Give him enough privacy so it isn't like you are making an example, but don't be alone in case something goes wrong.

[bbnflpn]

thank you for your input on this matter, i was afraid that it would come to a scene. the guy just doesnt get it he is a very anti social person trying to be social. i dont deal with this person on my own any more and he is the only person there i will go some where else till some one else gets there. i have already had a run in iwth him and i am trying not to socialize with him. only on a nessisary basis. i know that some one else will handle that part of it, because i am not the confrontational type. hopefully we will get this handled asap.

thanks again

[Gabriel Le Chat]

I agree with all posted. And as a side note... I was part of pagan group that had the same problem. However, the person causing the problem was never given an ultimatum and the group completely fell apart because of it.

Best of luck, and be sure to cast a big-ole-bad-ass protection spell. _happydanc

[Dusk]

If he has been making threats, that alone is enough to warrant telling him to leave. In my opinion, your group should start documenting his behavior in case you need to report him.

[Ron]

Write a letter to this effect, if I may suggest it:
To whom it may concern, in sibly Service:

It is the steadfast belief of the majority (If you can include the statistic here, instead of the word "majority", it would be wise.) of the cooperative informal organization of the ___org_name______ that the honourable member, Sir ___name___, is ardently proselytizing at the functions of this cooperative. It is to be inexorably noted that proselytizers are not welcome to participate in this cooperative; we asertively and steadfastly demand that the honourable member, Sir _____name_______, either cease to proselytize to other honourable members, or to cease to attend these functions. This request is obdurately extended to all honourable members of this cooperative, and inherence to this protocol will result in legal action.

The body of the honourable members of the cooperative of ______org_name_____

(include here as many signatures of honourable members as possible.)

Terms of Reference

pros·e·ly·tize (prs-l-tz)
v. pros·e·ly·tized, pros·e·ly·tiz·ing, pros·e·ly·tiz·es
v. intr.

1. To induce someone to convert to one's own religious faith.
2. To induce someone to join one's own political party or to espouse one's doctrine.


v. tr.

To convert (a person) from one belief, doctrine, cause, or faith to another.

prose·ly·ti·zation (-t-zshn) n.
prose·ly·tizer n

Source: Source: The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
Copyright © 2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company.
Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. All rights reserved.
(I recommend including the terms of reference in the letter.)

May I recommend mailing the letter, or presenting it to him as a collective, when he arrives at the next function?

If any members of the cooperative have connections to law enforcement officers, I would recommend making use of these connections by having some legits on hand, in the shadows; there is no need for uniforms, or affronting the dissident.

:) May the Greater Source pay attention to your predicament.

[BlackMagicalCat]

I agree,for the sake of the group staying together,be nice and uninvite him to meetings and ask him not to come back.

Also some sort of screening process is in order to aviod this type of ordeal in the future,members should be carefully chosen and asked to join after having proved themselves able to fit in the group and benefit it in some way.

[SacredWithin]

What everyone else said. Be sure to be kind and calm when doing so. Anything done in person and with the group has a bigger impact than just you and him alone. Just try not to rub things in so that he will not get the feeling to go on defense.

[bbnflpn]

thank you again, i will tell my co-orginizers about your suggestions.

funny thing about the prostolitizing (sp?) he was bothering me for a while, and i decided that i would put an end to it. i tryed to be nice, but i ended blowing up at him any way (my leo nature showing its true colors and i felt bad) it told him that he was acting like a militant christian and that he was treating the reptilians (the bad aliens i know it sounds weird) like the christians would treat the pagans. and just today i got a mail on one of the message boards from him (to the public) about the prostolitizing and such i about laughed. he is doing this in a terrible way.

we have been trying to find a way to take care of this for a while now. but it looks like no matter how we handle it some ones feelings will get hurt.

[Draco Malfoy]

Actually the Lord and the Lady are not aliens, but most of the gods and goddesses of ancient Sumeria were: like Enlil and Enki.

[Ben Gruagach]

I would not be concerned about hurting this creep's feelings. He obviously isn't concerned about hurting the feelings of other individuals, or the feelings of the group as a whole.

If your group does have some sort of leader or executive, this is the sort of thing they should be handling. If your group doesn't have a formal leader or executive (council, whatever) perhaps you should have an election very soon with the group to choose someone for this role. Do it by private vote so that everyone can be honest. And then the new leaders/council should look at a code of conduct for the group and use it to make sure people like this creep either shape up or ship out.

[Ben Gruagach]

Actually the Lord and the Lady are not aliens, but most of the gods and goddesses of ancient Sumeria were: like Enlil and Enki.

I see you've been exposed to Zecharia Sitchin's rather speculative work. Here's a link (http://www.skepdic.com/essays/sitchin.htm) to a rather interesting article that points out the problems with Sitchin's rather loose interpretations of history, archeology, and science.

[bbnflpn]

Actually the Lord and the Lady are not aliens, but most of the gods and goddesses of ancient Sumeria were: like Enlil and Enki.
i didnt say i agreed with him. hes an exopolitical person and thinks every thing has to deal with the alien gods and goddesses. i understood the theory thats all. i explained it to some one else and then he thought that i was his exoplolitical equal for some reason.

[HarzWitch]

i hope that i have posted this in the right area, if not then please move it to where it needs to be.
here is the problem that our local pagan gathering is having...
we have a bi-monthly gathering in our area that is a public forum where the local pagan community gathers to talk about local issues and to well talk. only thing is that there is one of our memebers is alittle how can i say this nicely, out there in space (literaly) he has some extremest views on some things (totaly possible things mind you) but... he tends to dominate the conversation with these views and not every one wants to hear these things. they have to deal with aliens beeing the lord and lady. that is not the problem. when ever we talk to him about these things he never listens to what we have to say about maybe holding back his conversations reguarding this. he has made some idle threats (and i cant say weather or not he would act on them or not but to this date he has never done any thing violent torwards any one in the group.) it is the opinion of some of the more intuitve people in our group that he can potentialy be volitile and go postal. these people no longer attend the groups for that reason alone. since this is a public fourm (in person mind you) we can not keep him from comming to these meet ups. i use to be the co-coordinator of this group and i have said that if ever did make a serieous threat that i would have the police involved.

does any one have any ideas on how we can talk to this person to have him understand that his behavior has been damageing to our group. i cannot say how many people have left this group because of him specificly. we have tried to reason with him, on many differnt levels. and there is still no change in the way he goes about things. i guess one of the options i have is to let him stay with the group untill he does something real damaging. he is also a very sensitve person and i am afraid that even though no matter how we go about this his feelings will be hurt, over the last year he has imporved alittle bit by letting us talk abot the issues and trying to listen to what we have to say but soon after his regular behavior returns.

my personal opinion is that he has some mental defect that should be treated maybe aadd. he is a self proclaimed indigo child and what i have read about them he seems to mildy fit that description. he also is against taking any medications for any reason (if infact he needs to be seen by a psychiatrist.

any ideas on how to handle this proble would be much appreciated not only by me but the otherpeople in this group.

thank you


Surely someone must be the chairman? If you have a chairman, then he is from what you say ineffective and needs to run your meetings more efficiently. By the sound of it they are chaos!

[bbnflpn]

i am the co-coordinater. and we (there are 4 of us that run things) have come to an impass on how to handle this. we all agree that something has to be done but since this is a delicate situation it has to be handled carfully. we cant just come out and say you do this wrong but we have to give sugestions he listens for aittle while and then goes back to normal, we have another meeting this weds after he leaves (he takes a bus) we will talk about it.

[Ben Gruagach]

i am the co-coordinater. and we (there are 4 of us that run things) have come to an impass on how to handle this. we all agree that something has to be done but since this is a delicate situation it has to be handled carfully. we cant just come out and say you do this wrong but we have to give sugestions he listens for aittle while and then goes back to normal, we have another meeting this weds after he leaves (he takes a bus) we will talk about it.

My thoughts will be with you and your other co-ordinators. Keep in mind though that the health of your group is more imporant than worrying about hurting the feelings of a specific person who clearly doesn't think about hurting the feelings of others.

[bbnflpn]

thats the thing he doesnt realize he does it. he doesnt know how to act in social situations thats why we have to becareful on how we deal with this. he is an ok guy if you dont let him bother you but, he does scare new people away and that conserns us all. he does have an edgy side that worrys me though. like i said we are going to talk about this on weds probably. try to decide what to do with him.